Last night on Ladies of London, the Fourth of July was celebrated and the fireworks were not in the sky!
Marissa Hermer is becoming a British citizen after five years of living in London. To celebrate her last summer as an official American, she's throwing a Fourth of July party – which is an annual tradition. Marissa gives us a long spiel about her party-planning/PR expertise and expects us to believe she's an integral part of her husband's success instead of some sort of glorified trophy wife struggling to make the perfect cuppa. Juliet Angus will be co-hosting with Marissa as part of the American invasion posse. Unfortunately Juliet is as much a flake as she is an attention-seeker so she's all about the fame, and not about planning.
Last night on Real Housewives of Orange County the dramas were as real as the friendships were fake. And Shannon Beador is about to learn a nasty lesson in Housewives betrayal – right on top of learning one about heartbreak. Why is this exactly the plot of a Lifetime Movie? Oh goody!
So, let's just break this down; either Tamra Barney's new doctor is injecting her with crazy-hormones (and by that I mean more crazy than usual hormones) or girlfriend is having a nervous breakdown. Of course, that still doesn't excuse her rancid personality and wretched two-faced-ness. Do personalities spoil like milk?
Tamra is still mad at Heather Dubrow for having a life beyond her or RHOC – and for daring to promote another gym on TV besides CUT Fitness. I mean that horrible hoochie-hussy – she is like single-handedly destroying Tamra's business. As if Tamra's behavior on RHOC isn't at allllll responsible for destroying her reputation.
Kim Kardashian knows how to play the media like a fiddle. All she has to do dress up in some hideous or revealing outfit and "bam!", just like that she's all over the web. Well played, Kim. Once again the Keeping Up with the Kardashians star flashed some major cleavage and had photographers scrambling to take her picture yesterday.
Kim was out and about in NYC yesterday – earlier in the day with daughter North and then out for dinner later in the evening. Kim was wearing a revealing top that barely covered her boobs, paired with a suit jacket that she had to hold onto the entire day to keep it sort of closed.
Last night's Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta was all about pee pee pictures and repentance…with lots of freeloading thrown in for good measure. Let's get to dissecting that craziness, shall we?
Oh gracious. Kylie Redd and the purple haired girl Kalenna pick up Rasheeda in a van en route to New Orleans. The ladies are ready to drink and twerk and Kirk Frost looks a bit bewildered as he's left to deal with Karter, his mother-in-law, and his growing Adam's apple. Once the road trip begins, Rasheeda wants to hear all about Karlie being kicked out of Benzino's new club. Karlie retracts her statement that she liked the Zeen's tiny peen after he accused her missing it. She'll take Yung Joc's kielbasa sausage over Zino's little Vienna wiener any day of the week. To prove her point, Karlie has requested a "d" pic from her current man…and his permission to post it in all his glory side-by-side with Zino's for a size comparison. Who does this stuff? I mean, really?
I don't know why TLC and ABC didn't think to make last night's episode of Sister Wives as a crossover with Shark Tank. Can you imagine Daymond John or Mark Cuban reacting to Kody Brown's hair and Robyn's whining as they pitched My Sister Wives' Closet? Christine could model the jewelry wearing her finest medieval garb! What a missed opportunity!
The wives are working on a business plan because apparently showing up and just asking for money doesn't work with venture capitalists…they like presentations. It's crazy that rich people won't just give out money to tacky online jewelry boutiques!? Robyn and Kodi are rocking denim tuxedos and whining about goals and differences and hopes and dreams and teamwork. Meri complains, and Janelle is the only one with any sense of vision, organization, and focus. Shocking. Why is she still here? Run, Janelle, run! We'd all support you! Kody decides the family should take a day to figure out where to go from here, which is a great idea considering they have to pitch themselves and their business in twenty days. I love that the two people who claim to be the most invested in this company are the two biggest procrastinators in the Brown bunch.
It's a little odd that MTV is calling this season 5 since the "first half" of this season has been over for a while and even had the reunion/catch up specials, too. For me, that means the season is over and we're on to season 6. I digress.
MTV released a new teaser trailer for the season 5 (and a half) premiere and it's just as we've come to expect – loaded with drama. Jenelle is battling with mama Barbara, who looks like she's had up to her eyeballs with Jenelle's non-parenting of Jace. Kailyn's son Isaac will be the voice of reason this time around, telling his mom to stop yelling. Things are looking rough for Jeremy and Leah and Leah cries about mounting medical bills (despite Jeremy making $5,000 a week not including their Teen Mom money…) and Chelsea battles with loser-for-life Adam Lind, who is dealing with another DUI and facing two years in jail/prison.