I couldn’t have asked for a better way to kick off this hump day than listening to Brandi Glanville‘s latest podcast, appropriately titled, Pimps, Prostitutes, and Ron Jeremy! Oh My!
But before we crack open that nut… so many puns, so little time… I have to say that I find it hilarious that Brandi just lectured bloggers about the fact that her 12-year-old son is “dabbling” in social media, and all the negative stories about Brandi’s relationship issues with Eddie Cibrian and LeAnn Rimes are just one search away from his innocent eyes. But, you know, an hour long discussion about prostitution, penises, and said 12 year old’s dad’s cheating ways is okay.
Brandi‘s latest guests were Dennis Hof, owner of the Bunny Ranch and star of HBO’s Cathouse, his girlfriend/bunny Krissy Summers, and his friend/porn star Ron Jeremy. Dennis was there to promote his book, The Art of Pimp, and I have to admit that it sounds like an interesting read. It would have been really nice to hear more about the book, but Brandican’t keep her mouth shut. Ever.
Things begin with another birthday – this time the birthday belongs to Dorinda Medley, who is turning 50. She wants to celebrate by returning Ramona to a place of torment and doom: The BERKSHIRES. Ramona gets the sniffles and can’t breathe. She fans herself. Her thumbs twitch as she texts her friend with the private plane to be on retainer. Just kidding – Ramona actually has a cold, but that’s not gonna stop her from going on a date. Ramona’s tissues bring all the boys to the yard! And they’re like her germs are better than mine!
We’re looking for a few freelance reality TV news writers for Reality Tea. No experience necessary, other than a considerable amount of knowledge of your favorite shows and stars.
To apply for a freelance spot, send me a list of the reality shows and stars that you’d consider yourself an almost-expert on (both on air and behind the scenes) and also include a sample reality news article. Email the info/sample, along with your weekly availability/number of articles willing and able to cover, to email@example.com.
L.A. & NYC Correspondents At Large:
Do you live near L.A. or NYC? Do you love attending celeb soirees and rubbing elbows with the reality stars, supporting their events and product launches? We’re looking for several ‘correspondents at large’ to represent Reality Tea at various functions. The job would vary depending on the event, but would often include taking photos and blogging/recapping your experience and sometimes doing brief on-site interviews. If you have an interest – with or without experience – drop us an email of interest.
Are you a reality TV fan looking for that first step into the world of TV recap writing? If you’ve always wanted to try your hand at recapping and have been looking for a place to start, we might be the perfect fit for you! Reality Tea is looking for coverage on several reality shows that we just don’t have the time or staff to cover. While these will be unpaid recaps, it’s a great opportunity to add to your resume.
A few of the shows we’re in need of recappers to cover:
Million Dollar Listing San Francisco
Don’t Be Tardy
Teen Mom 2
Bachelor In Paradise
Braxton Family Values
Keeping Up With the Kardashians
Bad Girls Club
Basketball Wives (season 4 coming soon)
T.I. & Tiny: the Family Hustle
Others not listed
To pitch us on recapping your favorite show, send a sample recap our way by emailing me at firstname.lastname@example.org! Please remember that we’re not just looking for the funniest, snarkiest recaps – we want to hear your voice shining through! At Reality Tea we like to have a range of writing styles and viewpoints, so just be you!
BethennyFrankel turned the tables on Andy Cohen for a special segment of Watch What Happens Live. He dished on casting mistakes he’s made, which franchise has the most behind-the-scenes drama, whose fans he worries about burning down his house, and more.
Bethenny asked Andy, thinking back to the first season of Real Housewives of Orange County, did he think it would be as big as it is today. He said the possibility hit him in season two when Matt and Jeana Keough‘s marriage fell apart. “I was like, this is like a soap opera. Like, I care about Jeana, and things are not going well for her.”
On reality TV being blamed for the demise of so many marriages, Andy shared, “I think it has accelerated marriages that weren’t working. I’ve talked to Tamra [Judge] about this. I’ve talked to Vicki [Gunvalson] about this. They were in a relationship that wasn’t working. They saw it replayed on TV, and were like, ‘Wow, this is really bad.’ They had a chorus of people saying ‘dump him, dump him’ and they actually had the balls to do it.”
Dorinda Medley‘s greasy, lascivious boyfriend John Mahdessian has been much-discussed on Real Housewives Of New York. John, who looks like he’d be a better fit as a Real Housewives Of New Jersey husband, proves you can’t judge a book by its cover!
Even though John has gotten off on the wrong foot with nearly all the ladies from being caught red-handed without Dorinda, to being caught with his hand on Sonja’s butt, to Ramona complaining that John is a nobody using Dorinda for her fabulous Upper East Side lifestyle. But is he really?!
John, whose family owns Madame Paulette (dubbed the “Sultans of Stains”), a NYC establishment famed for their ability to restore and clean even the most delicate of couture and vintage, turns out to be the most well-known (and well-respected) person on RHONY! Madame Paulette is the go-to cleaner for everyone from Anna Wintour to Lady Gaga to Beyonce and John’s affiliation with Vogue Magazine has landed him on the guest list of the MET Gala!
So, it took me the entire second season of Southern Charm to realize that every episode begins with the Charmers waking up at their respective residences across the Lowcountry. Nice touch, Bravo! Last night’s finale begins the same way, but this time Craig Conover is bright-eyed and bushy tailed as he calls Cameran Eubanks and Shepard “Shep” Rose to tease them about their drunken antics the night before at Thomas Ravenel’s post-campaign party. Shep can’t remember his jovial speech (it’s hilarious), but he does recall Kathryn Dennis’ crazy behavior. Craig concedes that maybe he should just work on himself instead of trying to help new friends on the path to normalcy. It may be Craig’s most intelligent statement all season!
Across the peninsula, at Patricia Altshul’s mansion, she’s enlisted famed designer Mario Buatta to help her rejuvenate her parlor. Together, their projects have donned the pages of multiple Architectural Digests, and she trusts him to marry her decor visions of antiques, classic fabrics and textures, and mini collections of expensive limoges. Whitney Sudler-Smith arrives, and Mario teases him about his tight fitting pants (is that scotch tape or a zipper?), citing they look like a cheap hotel. A cheap hotel typically doesn’t have a ballroom. I am dying. Mrs. Pat defends her son, saying his trousers are undoubtedly expensive, but Mario’s humor isn’t lost on me. Whitney’s jeans don’t have room for his balls. Score one for Mario! An unfazed Whitney, relays Kathryn’s meltdown from the party as Mrs. Pat explains the backstory to Mario. For this former teacher, P. E. no longer stands for physical education.