Kyle Richards is preparing for another family vacation – this time on a 100-foot yacht in Mallorca, Spain. One of Kyle’s daughters is already in the South of France for a week with a friend and will be meeting the family in Spain. “Such is the life!” trills Kyle with faux humility. Kyle’s storyline this season seems to be an inferiority complex about proving she’s rich. Every episode is her pretending to be humble, while covertly bragging about flying private and living luxe but she’s actually squee-ing inside that finally she’s arrived. I’m just waiting to see her in a “Very Rich Bitch” t-shirt ala NeNe Leakes.
Before Kyle gets packing she visits to Kim Richards, who is preparing for her daughter Brooke’s wedding and wants to preview her Mother Of The Bride dresses. Everything at Kim’s house is scattered, decorated with rejects from early 90’s TV sets, and filled with deathly ill children – it’s all an evil ploy to make Kyle too sick for Mallorca so Kim can go instead, bond with Yolanda Foster, and cosy up to a wealthy Spanish gentleman! “Lysol – take me away!” Kyle puts her hair around her face like a mask to protect her from the germs. Kim’s dress is lovely – good for her.
I mean, I don’t know if it’s healthy to have back-to-back nights of any VH1 reunion, but last night’s conclusion to Love & Hip Hop Hollywood left me feeling especially brain dead. Nana seems a bit spent after her twerking shenanigans. Mally Mal is on the stage, and he thinks Masika is a cool chick, but Berg is going to learn soon enough that she’s always after the next best thing. When I close my eyes, Mal’s voice belongs to someone who looks like he could be a character on The Big Bang Theory, not this big guy with the girlishly tweezed eyebrows. Berg warns Uncle Fester to stop talking about him, and Mally puts on his shades and takes off his jacket. It’s the equivalent of a Basketball Wife taking off her heels before going bat shiz cray. Mal and Masika argue over who was using who (whom?) to get on the show. Berg reminds Nikki that he’s the one who got her on the franchise. Masika then reveals that Mally Mal is still in contact with her.
Thankfully we move onto a more sane story line…and that says a lot given it revolves around Fizz, Moniece and Amanda. Moniece, as calm and composed as she is, is clearly certifiable…and stunningly gorgeous. I love that she’s the most well-spoken person on the show, as well as the craziest. As annoying Amanda tries to explain her behavior, Moniece spouts off a list of her amazing qualities and receives a round of applause from her co-stars. Game, set, match…Moniece. Mona revisits Amanda’s infidelities, and Amanda admits that she fell in love with someone else (the other man) after she broke up with Fizz. Fizz reminds her that they didn’t “break up,” he left her sarong-wearing azz. Dear VH1, please don’t make me watch Nikki trying to eat Fizz’ face again. They’re just friends, y’all. #fakerelationshipbymona
Brandi Glanville was Andy’s guest tonight on WWHL alongside Sandra Bernhard. It was an odd 30 minutes, for sure.
They chatter away, with Brandi swearing that she doesn’t have fillers in her cheeks that it’s just her cheekbones and she makes Sandra feel her face. She then says her only surgery has been boobs and a vajayjay tightening. Because Sandra needed to know that tidbit.
Andy plays a clip of the night when Adrienne Maloof, Taylor Armstrong and Camille Grammer were on his show and they played a game where the three of them had to find nice things to say about Brandi, but all gave really shady answers and at the end Taylor made a comment about Brandi not having any friends. Brandi looks irked as she watches the clip and fires back “I really have no response. I have more friends than probably all of them put together. I think they’re all desperate for their job back.”
As for her much speculated about friendship with Brandi,she admits it’s more of an on-camera thing than off. You mean, like Hollywood friends? “We’re friends. We don’t see each other when we aren’t filming as much because we’re all busy,” Yolanda says. “It’s funny because the months that we are filming we see each other every day and then we kind of go on a hiatus. [laughs] Hiatus from our friendships, our relationships and you kind of go back to your own life.”
Kandi Burruss is not about the drama – don’t start none .. won’t be done – so she thought it necessary to bring the ladies of Real Housewives of Atlanta together to iron out their differences. Because these type of Real Housewives gatherings rarely have drama. LOL! Nice try, Kandi, but I’ve got your number.
There was nothing but drama – save for a few stale crackers – and not much was accomplished between Phaedra Parks and Kenya Moore.
Phaedra addressed the dinner cracker chat in her blog. “I was fine sitting down with all of the ladies,” she said. “While it is not something I would have initiated, I respect anything that is done in the interest of peace and harmony, which is why I attended.” Yeah, um, not to mention <eye roll> that contract with Bravo.
On Phaedra: “IF IT LOOKS LIKE A FRAUD, LIES LIKE A FRAUD, ACTS LIKE A FRAUD — IT MUST BE A FRAUD. No successful attorney or woman with any decorum should behave the way Phaedra does. No outstanding Christian should repeatedly call another woman a whore and be unapologetic about it. No respected attorney should slander and defame someone in the media without any evidence or facts. No “Southern Belle” or woman with class or respect for herself should visit a man in a halfway house at 3am.”
Cynthia Bailey and NeNe Leakes are officially on the outs, after a confrontation on this week’s episode Cynthia admits that while she hasn’t given up on her friendship with NeNe, it will never be the same.
“I don’t foresee us being BFF’s again. But I would love to see Nene and I in a place where we’re cordial and we have respect for each other and we can have a good time together,” the Real Housewives Of Atlanta star admits. “I miss having fun with her. But we’re not at that place yet.”