Reality Tea

Rhobh-recap

Let's discuss the crafty editors on last night's episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. So there they were with a whole huge storyline about how skanky Scheana Marie Famewhore pretended she had never heard of nor seen Eddie Cibrian before and participated in a two-year-long affair with him not knowing he was married to Brandi Glanville. I mean Eddie was unemployed, but karma is a bitch because he eventually left both Scheana and Brandi for LeAnn Rimes. And I would say Eddie lost on that gamble! 

Other things happened last night. Bravo introduced us to Taylor Armstrong's boyfriend John Bluher. Way back in the day Taylor was telling us John was her pro-bono attorney on the $1.5M lawsuit she was battling against MMRGlobal. They were also "just friends." Friends with benefits, also known as an affiar. And then he just popped up on the screen attending a couple's night with Taylor, Kyle Richards, and Lisa Vanderpump. Wasn't that a coincidence. Sometimes – just sometimes – the Bravo editors don't do us injustice. Hey, it's once in a blue moon! 

Things begin with Faye Resnick trying her darndest to become relevant. Yeah, we still don't like you – go away. Faye's face is like melted, globbed together wax. It's clear that with the friendship she shares with Adrienne Maloof, they also share a plastic surgeon. Karma is a bitch like that, I s'pose!

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It's no secret that Teen Mom star Farrah Abraham is obsessed with "perfecting" her outward appearance. In less than two years, Farrah has enhanced her boobs, bought a new nose and chin, and blasted anyone who has judged her decision to permanently alter her looks at such a young age (including Teen Mom 2's Jenelle Evans).

Until a personality transplant is an option, Farrah will always be "ugly" to me, and this latest news certainly hasn't helped improve my opinion of her. 

Over the weekend, Farrah blogged about Sophia's unibrow, writing, "So here I am faced with a standout historical moment in motherhood when I can confirm to myself that my little, adorable, most cuddle-able cutie, baby girl has a Unibrow. I felt bad for her."

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Photo Credit: Joel Ginsburg/Wenn.com

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It's been quite some time since we parted ways with those crazy kids from The Hills.  With the exception of the two queen bees and arch rivals Lauren Conrad and Kristin Cavallari, most of the cast from the Hills and it's predecessor Laguna Beach have faded off into obscurity, only managing a place in the spotlight thanks to DUI mug shots and quickly canceled reality shows. 

As you recall, LC had her fill of bad boys, setting her sights on Jason Wahler in high school.  After a brief fling, he disappeared, only to resurface as her main squeeze on The Hills.  The poor guy clearly has had his issues with alcohol, and their relationship was very volatile.  After Jason, Lauren found comfort in the arms of Doug Reinhardt, a former baseball player and total jackleg.  He was so skeezy I needed to shower after watching a scene with him in it.  Bless his little rich Laguna heart was he a dolt!

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2013 is starting off as the year of kicking skeletons out of the reality TV stars' closets.  This week's dish involves our favorite Shahs of Sunset star, Mercedes 'MJ' Javid.  Or Mercedah Christine Javid, according to her rap sheet. 

Back when MJ was just 18, she was working as a teller at the Home Savings Bank in Beverly Hills and got caught up in a case of fraud and spent a month in prison for her part in the crime.  The case details are outlined in court documents that were submitted when MJ was requesting her real estate license.  

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It's not until I hear news like this that I remember how flipping awesome the Olympics were…and now, they're coming back to us (sort of) thanks to Ryan Lochte and (no surprise here) E!  Yes, that's right, everyone's himbo with the washboard abs has finally secured his own reality show.

Ryan made a splash (so sorry) in the 2012 Summer Games in London, and he was noticed just as much for his classic good looks, piercing blue eyes, and diamond studded grill as he was for his gold medal winning prowess.  Granted, you can practically hear the hamster wheel circling in his head when he tries to form a thought, but he sure is pretty. 

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Oh gracious!  I wasn't even a minute in to watching last night's premiere of the original Love & Hip Hop when I realized it had gone by way of Atlanta.  It's over stylized and filmed as if it's rap video, not a reality show.  It's going to be a long season.  I'll be honest, it was hard to keep up with all the drama, but I think it's going to be eventful…and I think we saw it all on L&HHA with just a different cast of characters. 

As the episode starts, we're introduced to Tahiry Jose who claims to be a video vixen, model, and actress.  Right now, she's also a waitress.  However, even she knows that she's most famous for being Joe Budden's ex-girlfriend.  She left their five year relationship because Joe wasn't handling his business properly.  Joe loves being in the public eye, and he gained quite a following when he would post videos of Tahiry on You Tube.  He misses Tahiry and hopes that the two can work on developing a strong friendship.  The pair is meeting for lunch, and two things are evident: he likes riling her up, and Tahiry isn't a fan of Joe's shenanigans.  Tahiry wonders why Joe so desperately needs to be friends with her…can't he share all his life stories with his new lady?  Joe just wants to keep Tahiry on a string for when he needs her.  The lunch ends with Tahiry screaming at him and shoving the table so hard that her sangria topples.  I have to hand it to that one extra playing the role of restaurant patron number two had the acting sense to appear shocked at the couple's tirade while all the other extras just ate their free lunches and pretended like nothing was happening. 

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Just kidding. This news is hardly a shocker. Still, despite the scripted feel to the show and the grumbling of some West Virginians, it sounds like MTV's BUCKWILD is destined to be a success.

Much to Melissa Whitman's dismay. The West Virginia resident, who lives across the street from where BUCKWILD was partially taped, had a lot to say to the Charleston Gazette about the production crew, foul-mouthed cast, and staged aspects of the show. 

According to Melissa, the BUCKWILD crew was obnoxious, inconsiderate, and constantly jammed her street with their black SUVs. Also, they taped (with their bright flood lights) during all hours of the day and night and several of the scenes were staged and/or reshot. Melissa added, "All of this was coaxed, coerced, scripted, or whatever."

An example of how the scenes were reshot and tweaked: "The big moving-in scene was shot two weeks after the girls were already living there."

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