Reality Tea

melissa gorga yellow dress real housewives of new jersey

Melissa Gorga is no stranger to being in the middle of some drama. Since joining the Real Housewives of New Jersey, the On Display singer has been constantly locking horns with her sister-in-law, Teresa Giudice. But since their feud has been placed on hold, so Teresa and her husband can attend to their legal issues, Melissa has found another way to keep things interesting.

On last night’s episode, we saw Melissa stir the pot by telling the twins — Teresa Aprea and Nicole Napolitan0 — that Amber Marchese had been spreading rumors behind their backs. So how does Melissa justify her behavior?

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game of crowns2

In this week’s Game of Crowns, we revisit the fallout of Nick’s rampage at the Mrs. America pageant. Susanna Paliotta’s daughter shows us how to “LOL.” And there’s a lot of tea and bagels showing up. It’s sort of a snooze-fest, but it’s all in preparation for the upcoming Mrs. New England States pageant, which is right around the corner.  

We begin at Shelley Carbone’s CT home where she is in the kitchen talking to her 3 kids and setting a good example for her children by…feeding them. And the dog. She reminds the kids that they need to finish up their homework so they can all head to Lynne Diamante’s tea party later.

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Don’t Be Tardy opens with Kroy Biermann giving precious Kaia a bath in the kitchen yet again this week.  Can I just say that these scenes bathing the two cutie pies are just the best?! I can’t handle the cuteness.  He’s teaming up with Kim Zolciak and doing the old fashion way of being parents – by just being parents.  She’s making bottles and he’s bathing babies.  Teamwork at its finest and I love it (And Kroy baby-talking to Kai??? Adorable!).  Ok, enough with the collective “Ohhhhs” in the back round….moving on!

Sweetie is talking to Kim about how she would love to have 6 babies but her “hooha” hasn’t been with as many dudes and she wants to make sure her “hooha” can handle that. Kim then reassures Sweetie that she can just get her vag rejuvenated (through what else – surgery!) you know, in case your p***y hangs like sliced prosciutto.  Stop.  I have to stop. I can handle lots of language and Kim can drop the f-bombs all night long – but for some reason I squirm in my seat whenever I hear p***y from anyone’s mouth.  And it’s said a few more times in this episode.  Just please keep it to “hooha” or ZIP IT. 

NeNe Leakes Premieres In ZUMANITY, The Sensual Side Of Cirque du Soleil

Earlier we showed you pictures from NeNe Leakes in Zumanity – the press preview of the show.  Just a few days later was the official opening night and we somehow missed the photos!  Better late than never, though! 

Here is the Real Housewives of Atlanta star, looking like she’s having the time of her life (as the center of attention, duh) with the cast of the Vegas show.   The one thing I noticed through each photo is that NeNe seems very much in her element and truly full of joy.  Or she’s scared to death and hiding it really well.  One of the two. 

Maybe this gave NeNe the itch for Broadway?  She’s rumored to be up for a role sometime soon.  Could you see NeNe leaving reality TV and heading to the stage instead? Or would she try to juggle both?

teresa hosts fabulicious desserts party

Last night on Real Housewives of New Jersey newbie Amber Marchese got a baptism by garbage fire. And her husband Jim Marchese tried to act all big, important, and like principled and ish – not on my Jersey! 

Melissa Gorga, behind-the-scenes s#*!-stirrer and perpetual wannabe victim, tackled the double-trouble twins with some gossip and found that Teresa Giudice isn’t the only person who flips-the-f-out! 

Before all that, Joe and Melissa embark upon a new career – one they’re suited for! Joe bought a big ol’ garbage truck and announced they’re in the garbage business. At first I thought he meant they ARE the garbage business, which of course, but they are for real compacting garbage. This type of garbage is a truck specifically designed to incinerate important papers. And if Juicy or Chris Laurita‘s “paperwork” are any indication – I say that truck is going to be doing a lot of business! Also now they can finally “smoosh” all evidence of Melissa’s past – like the Lookers! paychecks!

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kim-kardashian

On last night’s episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, things begin with Kris Jenner and Leah Jenner taking a random midnight dip in the ocean. Kris decides to not let Kendall and Kylie’s hatred of her bother her. Apparently, at any given time, at least one of her kids can’t stand her, so basically it’s same old same old to Kris. #DysfunctionAtItsFinest

Kim Kardashian has decided not to let her embarrassing run in with Brody Jenner stop her from her selfie project. That’s too bad. Today Kim has graduated from standard ‘selfies’ and is now taking a$$ selfies. You read that right. Did one of her employees just rub her butt with oil and then apply sand. Seriously. Was this written in to their Kartrashian Kontract? Must be willing to apply baby oil and other lotions (amongst other elements) to Kimberley’s derriere. Quick question; how many employees does it take to apply oil and sand to Kim’s ass? If you answered 3 you were correct.
 

scheana marie and fiance mike shay black/white dress

Scheana Marie Jancan is officially Mrs. Mike Shay! I guess she’ll no longer be known as Eddie Cibrian‘s floozy?!

Mike announced the news when he wrote on Twitter, “So excited to marry my best friend tmrw! I love you sooo much sweetheart!”

Of course, the wedding will likely be the season finale for Vanderpump Rules, which is filming its third season now. Tons of Scheana’s co-stars were there according to twitter and instagram. 

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sister wives tamron and kids

How are we already at the end of the Sister Wives’ season? It’s reunion time, and Tamron Hall is hosting Kody Brown, his hair, and his four wives, and she is such a class act. Right off the bat, she revisits Meri’s decision to get a wet bar go back to college and Kody’s stick straight locks in the scene. Geez, it’s horrible. Kody is supportive of his first wife’s plan, but Robyn is just a ball of fun when she learns the news. The sighing and the jaw clenching is intense. Meri is tearing up just watching the playback of the situation. Robyn tries to clarify that she didn’t feel betrayed, but she did feel ditched. She doesn’t want Meri to find better friends outside of the family…um, these women aren’t friends. Christine thinks that Meri heading back to school is the best thing for Meri. Since Mariah left, Christine feels that Meri has disengaged, and fulfilling herself through college will be just what she needs to find happiness.

Next we go back to the time that Kody pounded on his chest and talked about hormone swapping through make-out sessions with Mykelti and her now former boyfriend. Kody is so proud of his little speech, and Robyn once again reminds us that pre-marital sex is bad, bad, bad. Christine loves that Kody makes kissing sound gross to potential suitors. Tamron looks perplexed by the entire conversation, and I can’t say I blame her. The topic segues to the importance of My Sister Wives’ Closet. Finally, Janelle speaks, and she looks amazing. Tamron chides Kody about his temper tantrum in the counseling appointment where he said he never got to be the leader of the family. He is constantly asking for permission from his wives and seeking a consensus. Robyn praises Kody for being a great leader. I wonder if she ever gets tired of constantly stroking his ego…

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