"First, I have to give you the history of this contentious subject regarding Scheana. So two years ago, at the opening of SUR Lounge, Brandi was there. I knew her a little from her being involved in the show. I was wary of her as she said she was a friend of Cedric [Martinez]'s. We discovered later that was not true, but really, apart from that, had very little knowledge of her and her ex-husband."
"The group of staff who wanted to be in the pilot that is now Vanderpump Ruleshad already been assembled and were working that night of the finale party," Lisa recalls. "They were not mic-ed as they had no connection to that event. But I had to have servers and it seemed logical to put people in who were going to be comfortable in that situation."
"Chinese Proverb: Beware of people throwing shade while wearing bad toupees!" Marlo begins. "I’m doing my best to be the one to take the high road, but these last few weeks have been filled with lots of shade and haterade from people promoting products from Donald Trump’s hair emporium!" Taking the high road apparently means taking to twitter and throwing grenades at NeNe left and right.
Taking the high road also includes pointing out all the ways NeNe is an inferior, insecure, copycat version of Marlo. "I’ve never claimed to be perfect, flawless or without regrets. Who is? Definitely not the fake bleached blond with the bold ambitions!" Marlo continues. "She talks about my past incarcerations, her past includes pole sliding, lap dancing, lights, cameras and action! Which one of us is worse? Both of us have come a long way since then haven’t we? Good thing we took advantage of 'opportunities.'”
While everyone else appears to be growing up, planning for the future and attempting to compromise (albeit accompanied by hysterical sobbing), Jenelle gets stupider by the day. Instead of ultrasounds she needs a brainscan for this amazing condition she's developed of never being able to make a rational choice – EVER!
So let's start with Jenelle, shall we. Get your barf bag ready!
Jenelle just took a pregnancy test and it said "pregnant!". Babs is teaching Jace to count while Jenelle is scrutinizing the pregnancy test trying to count the lines – one is a very faint pink. Her friend Tori (of the bright red hair) is there to deliver the Come To Jesus lecture and help Jenelle decipher the test. As if Jenelle who's been pregnant as many times as Michelle Duggar can't figure this out. Maybe the second pink line is caused by the reflection of Tori's hair?
Ramona confirms she is moving forward and on the road to rebuilding her life after 25-years of marriage. “Things are what they are… life has a lot of hurdles and bumps. The good news is I feel good about me, myself, and I and who knows where my path will take me.” I think there's probably another skin care line in there somewhere. Ramona Singer Renaissance?
You know, as much as I blame Ray J for the whole Kardashian kerfluffle, I don't think Ryan Seacrest is totally without fault. After all, the E! mastermind keeps renewing their show season after season and promoting their shenanigans every chance he can. His most recent infraction occurred when he had Kim Kardashian on his radio show yesterday to talk about what she claims will be her "super, super-small intimate" wedding to the tiny rapper.
While we're on the subject of Keeping up with the Kardashians star, some yahoo is calling Kim the "Marilyn Monroe of our age." Yes, you read that right…and for once it's not Kanye West (even though he's made that lame comparison in the past). Do people just throw around Norma Jeane's name without knowing anything about her? Kim is nothing like Marilyn…and would she even want to be? What a tragic life.
I am really having a hard time watching this mess. I can't even think of a witty introduction to last night's Dance Moms because I personally want to rip that bump-it out of Abby Lee Miller's hair every time she speaks. The girls have gone from fun-loving talents to terrified robots. Shame on her.
Abby, Melissa, and her daughters arrive in Los Angeles so that MacKenzie can get into the recording studio. What is Abby now? A pop star manufacturer? Abby wants to make sure that MacKenzie has the personality and energy to be a mini-Katy Perry. She interrupts the session to tell the poor girl that she is performing like Brooke, and that isn't a compliment. MacKenzie puts a little oomph into her singing, and Abby is finally seeing her star potential…at least one of us is. She and Abby head back to Pittsburgh while Maddie stays behind for a performance of her own.
With the start of the pyramid, Abby reminds the girls that she is looking for a dancer to be her Maddie when Maddie is off doing more important things…like a job in L.A. Nia is at the bottom because of her headpiece debacle, followed by Kendall. She's clearly the reason that her duet with Kalani didn't place first as Kalani and Maddie took the top prize in their duet. Of course, Kalani learns a bit about Abby and her fickle ways when she goes from the top of they pyramid to the bottom row. Chloe is third and praised for her duet Maddie, but she needs to work on her facial expressions. MacKenzie is in second for her brilliant work with the candy box in the group number. Christi wonders why MacKenzie is above Chloe after Chloe won both of her dances. Duh, Christi! The candy box! When Maddie is once again in the top spot, Jill scoff that it's predictable.
Well, I'm not going to say this is at all surprising. No sooner had Jenelle Evans' husband gotten released from prison that there is now a warrant issued for his arrest. It's shocking to me that the Teen Mom 2 star wants to divorce Courtland Rogers when the pair clearly has so much in common. Bonding over multiple jail stints totally should have been the strong foundation on which to build their marriage.
But, alas, Courtland is likely on his way back to big house due to recent antics…and by antics, I mean stealing from a friend who was trying to help him get into treatment. Don't bite the hand feeds you, Courtland! It seems that his pal Katie McMillan invited him into her home at Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina and hoped to get him help for his addiction issues. He repaid her by stealing, and subsequently trying to pawn, her jewelry.