Last night was the final episode of Real Housewives of Miami. It went the way all reunions go with cocktail dress clad and overly spray-tanned women screaming at each other over an utterly useless Andy Cohen. We were spared an Elaine Lancaster appearance. We were rewarded with a Mama Elsa appearance. And we all got tired of Ana Quincoces making herself sound silly by taking repeated jabs atLea Black's age.
C'mon now – if you're gonna rip someone apart you have to be clever about it. (See: Leakes, NeNe, "Wigs" "Trashbox" "Close Your Legs To Married Men!") That's just elementary, like Housewives 101.
Things begin with a drama in review. And that unfortunate drama is Joe Francis and Joanna Krupa's reported unsavory past. Joanna clears up that she was never in Girls Gone Wild but instead hosted an infomercial with Snoop Dog. She also insists she did not "sleep" or "associate" with criminals.
Ana leaps in to accuse Lea of bringing Joe to the party as a "prop" to set Joanna up. Lea denies it, shrieking that Ana is making yet another false accusation and suggests Ana stick to cooking where hopefully she can keep her ingredients straighter than her facts. I wish Lea had said ingrediences.
Ana keeps speaking over everyone and answering for them. Annoying. Shht! The drama over the bitchslap, broom stick wielding, boob-exposing meltdown continues. Yes, let's talk about this some more. It was actually a productive conversation. Adriana de Moura apologized for smacking Joanna and she was disgusted for herself for getting physical. Apparently Adriana was depressed for days following the incident.
Well isn't this interesting! It seems that a liar, liar is in order forReal Housewives of Miami star Adriana de Moura and her "fiance" or shall we say HUSBANDFrederic Marq! Yes, it would appear that Adriana and Frederic are not engaged, but MARRIED already – for more than four years!
After a few Tweets and emails alerting us to the fact that Adriana and Frederic might be lying for the cameras about their engagement, we went searching to see if the rumblings were true. One quick search on the Miami Dade Marriage License Bureau website shows this little bit of photographic evidence.
When someone Tweeted this to Adriana, Aviva Drescher chimed in asking if she had gotten married, to which Adriana replied with "Not Yet!" At least not yet on camera, right? #LiesByBravo?
Take a peek below for the screen shot of the marriage certificate info!
“It certainly feels like I may be the new star of the show,” Kenyagloats to In Touch. “I certainly can keep people’s attention.” I think Kenya is confusing "star" with trainwreck. See people like to gawk and when someone goes overboard with the crazy we can't look away.
So if she thinks embarrassing herself on national TV is star power, well I can see why her career stayed D-List for all these years. But I s'pose I don't understand "gone with the wind fabulous!"
It was recently brought to our attention that Courtney deleted the phrase "Mrs. Hutchison" from her twitter bio. And a quick scroll through her timeline confirms that the last known mention of Doug is on December 22nd when Courtney says he gave her an early Christmas gift.
Whether it's a Twitter battle or a photo op war, these women love to let everyone know their issues. It's brilliant–it keeps them both in the media (remember Leann's "tearful" interview–with no real tears–where she hated to be called a homewrecker in light of her true love?), and, selfishly, it makes me giggle. Given her first stint on RHOBH, I would never think I'd be Team Brandi, but I totally am. Forgive me in advance for a pro-Brandi post. These ladies are cray. I would love the opportunity to drink wine with them one day…in the same room, of course. Clearly I'd wear a helmet.
NeNe and Jimmy also dished on the little battle between Andy Cohen and Donald Trump, with each of them claiming to be the man responsible for launching her career. NeNe settled the spat by telling Jimmy "I'm friends with both Andy and Donald. I've worked with Donald Trump for a long time, I've obviously worked with Andy Cohen, but NeNe Leakes started NeNe Leakes' career".
But the Real Houewives of Atlanta star did give props to both men for helping her. NeNe said she was grateful to Andy for giving her the amazing platform on RHOA and she shared that she was grateful because that's how Ryan Murphy discovered her (as did Donald), putting her on Glee and The New Normal.
CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR THE REST Plus a photo gallery of her arrival!
Adriana describes her style as "romantic and trendy" with the requisite "splash of sexy!" As for her style advice, she believes women should just accept themselves and be happy with who they are.
"Starting with the acceptance that NOBODY is perfect, but there is always some part of your body that is beautiful," Adriana shares. "So find out what it is and wear something that will bring attention to that. This way you can FEEL beautiful and when you feel beautiful, you look beautiful to others."