Sooo… what is going on here? What tricks does ol' Le-Le have up her sleeves now?
Weeks afterBrandi Glanville came out in full-force accusing LeAnn Rimes of being addicted to adderall, alcohol, and pooper pills – all charges LeAnn adamantly denied – and mere days before Brandi's scandalous book blowing the lid off LeAnn andEddie Cibrian's scheming and homewrecking behavior hits shelves; LeAnn showed up at the Grammy's with some meat on her bones. Finally!
It's been much discussed how shortly after taking up with Eddie, LeAnn started SWF-ing the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star by shedding tons of weight, get identical boob implants, and directly copying from Brandi's wardrobe. LeAnn, formerly a normal-sized girl, kept up the charade for years.
Last night on Real Housewives of Atlanta things were light on crazy and heavy on confusion, double-speak, and tiaras. The most confusing thing happening was figuring out what languagePorsha Stewartand hubby Kordell are even speaking. I mean Porsha definitely lives in a world of her own vocabulary where meanings and pronunciation are like, kinda, irrelevind – right?!
As for Kordell, he's the king so he do what he wants and decided to tackle a little problem of Housewives diplomacy. There's no use! Is Kordell an otherworldly genius or just… um… well, not?
In other antics Cynthia Bailey decided being the hostess of a pageant also made her the queen of all she sees. Lady Bailey was rocking her little rhinestone tiara all over town in the hopes some fool would take notice of her regality – which also equated with being a biatch. I'm sure Porsha would describe it as bitchgality.
So let's begin… Kordell is turning the big 4-0. Which is like the new 15 or something. To celebrate his bithday Porsha is throwing him a Harlem Renaissance themed party. Since she's also helping Cynthia with the Miss Renaissance pageant, she's busting out a pageant gown-cum-Josephine Baker collection of dresses that are perfect for the twirl and wave. She's been reviewing Kenya Moore's Miss USA footage and practicing in secret.
'Here she comes… Miss America. Oh I mean, Miss WHOOOOOOO-S-AAAAAAAA…. '
Imitation should be the highest form of flattery, but sometimes it's downright creepy.
Z-List is a reality TV cast member, hoping to shoot to fame and popularity like her idol D-List has done over the past few years. Z-List is copying everything about D-List in a very "single white female" sort of way. Z-List is befriending the same people, trying to network in the same social circles and even hiring the same press teams. Z-List has also had D-List's sloppy seconds in the man department, though Z denies it and hopes to vanquish the rumors ASAP. Eye witnesses say Z and Money Bags were very openly cozied up at an after bar party, where Z was incredibly rude and obnoxious to party goers whilst she snuggled in his lap. Random tidbit: Z also fancies herself a bit of a fortune teller.
Hint: it's NOT the duo you will all immediately assume.
Picking up where we left off, Lilly preaches how it's illegal to have a knife at a dinner party. What is she talking about? This skinny bitch obviously never had to cut a steak or a loaf of bread. When Asa Soltan Rahmati says she's leaving because the dinner party is "so wack. literally," Reza pushes Golnesa "GG" Gharachedaghi to start apologizing. A smug-faced Asa sits on her imaginary throne, waiting, and GG says, "I personally didn't want to violate you in a physical form, and I am sorry for that. I can't say that I'm sorry for the source of my anger, but I am sorry that I had to react to my anger in that way." Asa busts out the air quotes to mock GG's "apology" and says GG is crazy and doesn't deserve her friendship.
Will someone please shove a diamond down Asa's throat so she shuts up? She just goes on and on, talking over GG, which makes GG lose her patience. Asa says, "You've been nothing but whack. For one year, you've been nothing but whack." GG mocks Asa right back, saying, "wha-wha-wha-whack!!!" Do adults seriously use the word whack so much?
For reasons I will never understand, everyone and their mother want to climb aboard the crazy train that is Real Housewives of New Jersey. When I say everyone, I mean anyone who has come into contact with any of the cast members in the last two decades. They all want to spill the beans and "take down" any number of the show's stars, most hoping for their own 15 minutes of Bravo notoriety. Former babysitters, ex boyfriends, grocery store clerks, hair stylists, first grade recess buddies, you name it!
Last week it wasMelissa Gorga'sex beau from a million moons ago, threatening to expose her (ON screen, of course!) and this week it's a former friend. We had sources crawling out of the woodwork this week – with several different versions of the same story, as seems to always be the case where our leading ladies, Melissa Gorga andTeresa Giudice, areconcerned, right?
Well, well… it took 2 minutes in famewhore kingdom before the negative aspects of reality TV (aka ruining your life!) is striking the stars of Buckwild!
First there were allegations that the show is staged (as a West Virginian I can attest that it is!) and now Salwa Amin, the oldest of the group, has just been arrested for drug possession in WV early this morning! Oops. The "Curse of Jersey Shore" comes early, y'all!
TMZ reportsSalwa ( aka"Bengali in Boots") was arrested for "possession with intent to deliver," i.e. selling or distributing drugs. Unfortunately it's considered a felony offense in WV! She's scheduled for an arraignment this morning.
It's going to be hard to Breathe Again after processing this news. Sorry, I realize that was a horrible intro! Toni Braxton has recently decided that she is walking away from music after a twenty year singing career. I guess it was bound to happen. The talented songstress has now become more known for her family's reality series than her songs. Plus, like the majority of folks who have cameras following them around for our entertainment, Toni's been bitten by the acting bug.
The Braxton Family Values star is starring in the upcoming Lifetime movie Twist of Faith. However, Toni uses her strong pipes as well as her acting chops to play a Gospel singer torn between two men. It's good to know we'll still get to hear her vocals even if she's given up on making albums.