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Andy Cohen


Last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta featured a lot of bad evening attire. Whew. That mess of bad fashion at the anniversary party was so distracting, was it not? We also got some family drama, and Kim playing her new role of lady of the rented mcmansion. Oh, and Phaedra embalmed a dummy!

Things begin with Kim storming around her garage, ordering Sweetie and her father around under the guise of organizing before Kroy comes home. Kim is quite the hoarder collector! Kim claims she’s helping with the shuffling of boxes across the garage, but she’s really just barking orders. Sweetie threatens to call Clark Howard, who is some guy on the local news that exposes employers who mistreat their employees. Yes, Sweetie needs to get on that call.

Sweetie takes a cigarette break and Kim freaks out, chasing her all over the house bellowing and threatening. #timemanagement. Kim explains that Sweetie has become more of a friend than employee, and doesn’t take her job seriously. Is it because Kim has become more of a joke than ever? Although I agree, Sweetie needs to do her job or quit. Kim’s father tells her she needs yoga, she misses the point and says she’s already lost weight. I think he meant she needs to calm down. BTW – is anyone else not surprised Big Poppa is allegedly broke after seeing all that loot?

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On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Orange County the ladies went back in time to their golden years. Aaaahhh… the ’80s; before botox, satin cocktail dresses, orange tans, and TV friendships took over their dreary lives. To a time when they were young, free, and filled their heads with hairspray instead of restylane.

Things begin with Gretchen and Slave driving somewhere. Slave has found his calling of the week in comedy. He says, making jokes helps him escape his problems and he now wants to pursue this. Even Gretchen is like, ‘gimme a break!’ Gretchen asks him not to make future acts center around her co-tarts. There goes Slave’s interest in comedy, because what other material can the man come up with?!

Heather and Tamra meet for lunch. I love Heather’s dress. We find out Terry is from Van Nuys and his father lives in the OC, which explains how east coast Heather ended up in a nouveau, riche, trashy, beach-side, suburb of LA, nearby the likes of Gretchen and Alexis. Kidding, I have family in the OC and it’s beautiful there.

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Last night on Real Housewives of Atlanta, the ladies returned to the States, to nothing but drama. NeNe learned Bryson got arrested, Peter is spending more money Cynthia can’t afford to waste, and Kim is furious over Kandi‘s alleged “black babies” comment with Sheree stirring the pot all the way to millionaire’s row! Oh, these girls – no moving experience in Africa was going to move them!

The women are getting ready to leave South Africa. Marlo has the housekeeper bring her an icee and pack up all her things, while she lounges on the bed barking instructions. I’m very surprised she and Kim don’t get along better – they have many similarities! Meanwhile, NeNe needs help zipping and hauling all her Louis VOO-Tawn luggage to the car.

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On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Orange County, Slave took the stage, in what he presumed was a hysterical commentary on Housewives in their natural habitat, including the wrath of Miss. Piggy. Who really does not deserve to be unfairly compared with a certain lady of last night’s entertainment. Miss Piggy is actually well dressed as we know!

Things begin with Tamra showing up at Vicki‘s to make breakfast. Tamra looks cute – I love her shirt. Vicki immediately launches into what’s the deal with Gretchen? Are they besties, what happened, when, and why wasn’t she informed? Vicki is disappointed Tamra never confided her new friendship and warns Tamra that’s she going to have a brown nose because it’s so far up Gretchen’s mmmm. That close up of Vicki was a little frightening, no? Thanks editors!

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On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Orange County, skeletons came out of the closet, or the bedroom if you will, as Tamra and Gretchen told the other ladies about their new friendship and the truth about Brooks’ trouble with the law surfaced.

Things start out at the Effing Catalina Wine Mixer. Which, really is a wine mixer with all the wine these forty-something parents are mixing! No wonder they are acting like such nut balls. They could have their own Will Farrell-esque comedy about people who refuse to grow up.

Tamra is obviously insane – it’s more clear than ever after her meltdown last week – and is very upset that Vicki and Eddie were touching. Tamra is sobbing jealous because she loves them both so much. Eddie reassured her that he is not interested in Vicki, and that he loves her very much. Why he’s interested in Tamra is a whole ‘nother subject.

Back at the table Tamra starts crying again, explaining she doesn’t care about horoscopes, but Vicki and Eddie aren’t allowed to high-five or get within a 50 foot radius of each other. What is she so worried about?????

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On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta, the ladies promised and swore to turn over a new leaf after their moving experience in the South African orphanage, but alas their epiphany was brief and insincere.

After seeing the heartbreaking poverty of the children of the orphanage, the ladies sit down to dinner at their five-star resort to reflect on how privileged their lives are. They have “beautiful homes, beautiful fashions, a lotta labels,” Phaedra points out. Phaedra’s speech about appreciation was tailor made for Marlo, I see. Bespoke, if you will. Too bad Marlo was focusing on something being wrong with her plate instead of contemplating the day. Everyone promises to put future petty squabbles into perspective and approach situations in a more adult manner. Kandi is the first to speak up with a a ‘yeah right!’

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On last night’s episode of the Real Housewives of Orange County, Alexis and Peggy quit each other and Peggy quit the show! We learned more about Heather and well, she’s very confident (and wealthy), isn’t she? Vicki and Tamra haul their boyfriends to Catalina where they proceed to embarrass themselves on national TV with a PDA orgy. Aaaahhh… The C in OC, certainly doesn’t stand for class, does it?

Things begin at Vicki‘s Cajun-themed dinner party where Peggy and Alexis face off over who is the boobiest, dumbest, and has the worst broken bone story! They tepidly make nice as they try to size each other up while peering over their enormous fake racks.

Apparently Peggy wanted to tell Alexis about her very vintage Jim experience, but Jim made her swear not to. When it was unearthed, Jim accused Peggy of stalking him and breaking into his house. Alexis being Alexis, decided it was exclusively Peggy’s fault that her husband didn’t deign to tell her about their fifteen year old relationship. Why wouldn’t Jim tell her from the get go and then they could laugh about it amongst friends? I sincerely doubt either Jim or Peggy wants to rekindle things.

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Last night’s third segment of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Reunion began with Taylor, threw in some PamDana, and ended with Kyle and Kim rebuilding their relationship. It was nice to see some real positivity on the show after a season of nonsense and unpredictability. I, for one, hope Kim is able to move forward with peace and positivity.

Things began with Taylor opening up about her gut feeling that foul play may have been involved in Russell‘s death. Perhaps it was. Who knows what to believe at this point. I do know that Camille‘s face when Taylor was talking about this was priceless and amazing and I need a meme of that immediately.

Taylor regales the audience with tales of Russell surveying her in their home, claiming she found a tape recorder under the desk of her office when she was checking the printer. Is she sure the FBI didn’t install those to catch some griftin’ in action? Taylor also describes how Russell made her take a polygraph test to prove she was faithful to him. When she passed, he accused her of knowing how to cheat a polygraph. That, I believe is a very good possibility! Finally, a story of her’s I wholeheartedly believe!

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