To say I’ve been waiting with bated breath for the Southern Charm reunion would be a gigantic understatement. I’m even more excited to be watching it in Charleston with my trusty college roommates, Kristen and Haze. They are just as die-hard fans as I am!
The Charmers are getting ready for what is sure to be a draining day. Austen Kroll and Shep Rose are having a sausage fest as Cameran Eubanks preps to watch the smackdown between Kathryn Dennis and the absent Thomas Ravenel’s money spender. As usual, the cast is more casual than other reunions, with the exception of Kathryn who is highlighting her new boobs in a bedazzled gown. Chelsea Meissner looks stunning. Andy Cohen welcomes the crew, hitting on Craig Conover and Shep while highlighting Naomie Olindo sitting on an opposite couch from her ex. He is excited that Austen has brought him beer and Craig may have a few pillows for the clubhouse. Andy reads a statement from T-Rav’s attorneys which asserts he is cooperating with authorities during his ongoing investigation. Thomas believes he will be vindicated, although I’m not sure he knows the meaning of the word.
Were you suffering from Southern Charm withdrawals last week? I know I was. While the last episode gave us friendship and butt crack, last night was all about drama and formality. It certainly delivered, although Bravo sure knows how to gloss over current events, doesn’t it?
Craig Conover is still living like a college student (and that statement is an insult to college students), and he welcomes Cameran Eubanks into his halfway house. She’s critical of the space, which is well-deserved, but she puts on airs when she sniffs the box wine he offers. She grills him about practicing law, but he counters that he’s yet to be sworn into the bar. He’s still working on the Character and Fitness portion of the application. As someone who went through this a while ago, the bar is basically making sure he doesn’t have an errant DUI (a regular one is fine…I don’t know that first hand, but I have some friends…) and isn’t an ax murderer. Clearly, Bravo reality whore ranks up there as a reason one wouldn’t be fit to practice law–in South Carolina. That’s a hard feat given the lawyers I know! Craig claims his pillow business is thriving, so attorney ethics benchmarks be damned! He presents Cameran with a bunch of pillowcases that he just needs to stuff before fulfilling his orders. She, like the rest of America, wonders what he’s waiting for with his sham empire. Was sham empire a pun? I didn’t think so until I typed it! She poo-poos his pillow situation as a distraction. Craig needs to focus on one thing. Isn’t he seeing a life coach? Craig admits that he stopped returning his life coach’s calls. Why can’t he take accountability? Craig reveals that Naomie Olindo may not have been wrong in labeling him a drifter.
To say I have mixed feelings about the Southern Charm finale is a major understatement. Don’t get me wrong, I have been looking forward to the Kathryn Dennis vs. Ashley Jacobs showdown all season, but at the same time I just don’t want Season 5 to end. Thankfully there are still reunion episodes to watch.
Tonight’s finale is bound to be epic. There’s just something so entertaining about the cast arguing in evening gowns. Oh and the previews tease rumors that Ashley may be a hooker- which is bound to cause a lot of controversy at Patricia Altschul’sparty.
After putting up with the affections of Shep Rose and Austen Kroll, Chelsea Meissner definitely deserves a good guy, and it looks like she found it fellow Survivor-alum Nick Dana!
The Southern Charm star shared a photo of her and Nick from the Netherlands, where he was competing in a sailboat racing event. Chelsea also revealed that she’s been on tour with Nick and his racing company… and apparently she’s not the deckhand!
At this point, the Southern Charm cast is either talking about Ashley Jacobs or waiting for the next opportunity to bring her up. Same goes for most of the viewers. This woman isn’t even a full-time cast member, yet she is definitely stirring up the most shit this season- by far.
It’s a major red flag for most of the cast members (and the viewers at home) that Ashley moved from the West Coast all the way to Charleston, South Carolina just to be with Thomas Ravenel- of all people.
Last night’s Southern Charm was like an SNL review from Stefon. It had EVERYTHING. Butt cracks and callousness, polo and pettiness, and after dark, this plantation rages with the owner of the Boar’s Nest, insecure Florence Nightengales, and one very promising comeback kid. There is so much to recap, I’ll just dive into the craziness. It’s why we’re all here, right?
Craig Conover is still suffering from the great butter knife incident of ’17, and it is making it very difficult for him to follow his dreams to master the Singer. He recruits his roommate for help while whining about Patricia Altschul not giving him one more day to produce the pillow that would knock her caftan right off–alas, Ms. Pat does things on principle…like not extended already greatly extended deadlines. She’s so rigid!
During the last season of Southern Charm, the fandom was rooting for Austen Krolland Chelsea Meissner to make a relationship work. Just a season later, they are no longer together, Austen dated one of Chelsea’s (now former) close friends, and it just felt like there was something unfinished between them.
Now, it seems like there is zero hope for any sort of reconciliation since Austen went off on his ex-girlfriend in response to fan comments on his own Instagram post.