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Jo Rivera

Last night, we bid farewell to the girls of the second Teen Mom…with the help of Dr. Drew of course!

After putting Jenelle Evans and Kailyn Lowry in the hot seat last week, Drew has Chelsea Houska on the sofa. She reveals that her relationship with Adam is civil, but does include hooking up with him, Dr. Drew pronounces it not healthy. Wow. I think I could do his job. After recapping Chelsea’s season, I wish Dr. Drew would ream her for riding on Adam’s motorcycle without a helmet. Instead he applauds her for her accomplishments…which I guess she deserves. He mentions her former friend, Megan, who recently had her baby, and Chelsea is quick to say that she hates that her friend is missing out on her youth like she did.

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It’s the curtain call for the girls of Teen Mom 2, and we can only hope they have learned from their many struggles during the recent installment of the franchise. It’s doubtful, but we can hope! Last night the moms sat down with, the one-and-only, Dr. Drew Pinsky, to discuss the hardships they faced during their sophomore season.

Dr. Drew begins with a recap of the season. Sidebar, are Kailyn and Leah going to the same hairdresser? Their hairstyles are shades of off-white and stark white, respectively. After watching the footage, both are already teary. Kailyn claims she is upset watching her friend get upset. The show has brought the pair closer.

Chelsea reveals that Aubree loves doing her hair and make-up. It appears that maybe Chelsea was sitting a seat over from the blondes in the salon. She has also been visiting Year Round Brown, as she’s very tan. Jenelle expounds on what Chelsea has said about Aubree and Jace…apparently the toddlers are either fighting or making out when they are in the same room. The therapy session cuts to commercial, and of course the first advertisement (of many, I’m sure) introduces the newest teens on 16 and Pregnant. #Depressing.

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Last night was the 90 minute finale of Teen Mom 2. Doesn’t MTV realize that some of us have to go to bed at a decent hour? It’s not a feature length movie (yet), it’s a weekly television program. Sheesh.

The show begins as Jenelle heads out west and she moves to Beverly, Hills that is enters a rehab program. She’s met at the airport by a counselor (?) and shares her fears and anxieties with him as she texts on the way to her Malibu center. The staff searches her bags, and she is quick to admit there may be a “blunt wrapper” or two among her belongings. A quick urine test reveals that she has marijuana in her system. No biggie. She meets with her therapist who lectures her on any drug talk. Jenelle tells her that she wants to repair the relationship with her mother, and her only problem with weed is that she’s not allowed to smoke it. Fair enough. Dr. Drew? Are you watching?

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Last night’s Teen Mom 2 was thirty minutes longer than it needed to be. Why MTV, do you need to draw out this drama past its allotted hour? If the show had just been in its normal time slot, I wouldn’t have seen Leah file for divorce or Kailyn cheat on Jordan with Jo. Of course, I also wouldn’t have seen Chelsea work towards her GED (you go, girl!), or Jenelle check herself into rehab for her addiction issues. Oh MTV, you’re both a b*tch and a lover…

Jenelle is on probation, but she’ll be scott-free if she can stay clean for one year. She’s not allowed to fraternize with anyone who has pending drug charges, and that includes Kieffer. She’s back in Barbara’s house, and it’s back to status quo with the pair cussing and screaming at each other in front of poor Jace. This child deserves so much more than these MTV cameras are providing. Jenelle feels like her world is coming to an end because she can’t smoke and she can only communicate with Kieffer via phone. She talks to him about breaking up since they won’t be able to see each other in person for at least twelve months. He’s on board. That should tell the out-of-touch-with-reality Jenelle a lot.

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Oh the trials and tribulations of a Teen Mom. I really don’t know where to start. I felt like I was watching the Twilight Zone last night. Barbara didn’t yell, and dare I say she seemed like a sincere and concerned mother to Jenelle? Jo spoke and acted like a thirty-year-old who has always had his shiz together, and Kieffer got rid of that God awful army green hoodie. Chelsea even raised money and gave her time for a very valuable cause! It was the antithesis of Teen Mom. The only thing that let me know I was blogging on the right show was poor Corey’s camo hat. Camo hat always lets me know…

Jenelle returns home after a blow-up with her roommate, and Barbara allows her to move home knowing that she has a court date the following day for several pending charges. Barbara is calm when questioning her daughter about the recent fight, and she doesn’t even raise an eyebrow when she hears that things got physical. Barbara just hopes that she and Jenelle can find a way to get along.

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On last night’s Teen Mom, emotions, not rational thought, reigned supreme. I’m sure you’re thinking, ‘what else is new?’

Corey is working to secure a better job as a coal miner. He and Leah go to look at a piece of land where they could put a nicer trailer — it’s closer to town and the schools will better for the girls. Leah begins to look online for a new mobile home. Is Leah wearing a wig? Leah is excited to be a coal miner’s wife, especially due to better insurance and a closer proximity to Ali’s doctor.

Kailyn and Jo fought previously about Isaac’s child support and she is patiently waiting for his first payment. After a quick check of the mail, she receives a petition from Jo about why he shouldn’t be asked to pay that much support. She fills in poor Isaac on the discontent between she and his father, reading the petition to the toddler and explaining her side of things. I fully realize that the one-year-old has no clue what she is talking about, but still, I don’t think she needs to get into the habit of bashing Jo to his son.

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Oh, Teen Moms. What can I say that hasn’t already been said? Not much. So without further ado, here’s the lowdown…

We begin with Chelsea furnishing and decorating her new apartment and proactively looking for a job to help her dad with the finances. That’s a start! Adam has been MIA, but Chelsea seems excited to be gainfully employed and potentially meeting new friends at a new gig. Her first interview seems to go well… she wants to go to cosmetology school, she’s working on her GED and her schedule is wide open. Who wouldn’t want to hire her?

Kailyn is still reeling from her recent fight over child support with Jo. She reveals to friends that she hadn’t previously asked for child support before because her mom was helping her. However, Jo lives at home and has a full time job, so he should be contributing equally. Kailyn getting her own place doesn’t negate her financial responsibility to Isaac, but Jo believes that she’s wasting money on their son that he doesn’t need to spend. Um, not the case.

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Because everyone likes a little something extra after the holidays, last night MTV gifted us with not one, but two new episodes of Teen Mom 2! I know you’re just as pumped about it as I am, and if you think I’m being sarcastic… well, you’re right. Two hours of mayhem, stupid choices, and those poor toddlers.

EPISODE ONE: MY SHAMELESS PLUG FOR NORTH CAROLINA COURT APPOINTED ATTORNEYS

Leah and Corey are gearing up for more doctor’s visits for Ali. In an effort to cheer up the twins, Leah brings home a kitten. Just one more thing for the couple to take care of in the midst of all their issues. Corey isn’t thrilled about the cat (can you blame him?) but he is happy he’ll be able to accompany Leah to Ali’s geneticist appointment.

Chelsea is recovering from her surgery and she’s bummed to learn that the owners of the house her dad’s she’s renting are trying to sell it. She reveals to her dad that she’s going to have to find new digs. She promises her dad that when she finds a new place, Adam won’t be living with her… he’ll just stay there the majority of the time. Chelsea is ready for a change. There are too many bad memories in her old house — fighting with Adam and growing distant from her former roommate Megan (foreshadowing? And thanks to all the readers who made me realize it will be Megan who shows up preggers in this episode, when I mistakenly thought it was Chelsea’s sister). Chelsea also wants to go back to blonde. Whoa, the changes!

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