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Abby Lee Miller

DanceMoms

She's a screaming mess most of the time who likes to play drill sergeant with her pupils.  Sometimes it seems that she spends more time at war with her dancer's mothers than actually teaching her girls how to dance.  She tends to take great pleasure in trying to pit preteen girls against one another for the sake of healthy competition.  Whoever could I be talking about?  Y'all know!  It's Abby Lee Miller of Lifetime's Dance Moms!

Abby has been repeatedly criticized for her questionable teaching methods, but she does appear to get results.  Her dancers are incredibly talented.  While she has never danced professionally, Abby started the Abby Lee Dance Company when she was just fourteen years old.  That explains even more some of the history between her and Kelly!  

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Last night we were treated to two full hours of Abby Lee Miller and Lifetime's Dance Moms.  Not only were social issues tackled, Melissa found a very blinged out wedding dress and Abby went on a date with a former stripper.  Good times, y'all!

The girls are back in the studio, and Kelly is wearing her finest bondage attire.  Abby isn't thrilled with all of the second place finishes, but she's much calmer than normal.  She says that everyone needs to be knocked down a few pegs…even Maddie.  Abby isn't going to yell this week, she just feels that clearly the girls don't want to be winners.  It is what it is.  Passive aggressive Abby is almost worse than screaming Abby!  MacKenzie is at the bottom of the pyramid for allowing eleven looming points to come between her and the dancer who placed in front of her.  Nia is next, with Abby content on blaming the fact that Nia was sick…and therefore sloppy.  An also sloppy Paige finishes out the bottom.  Maddie is on the second tier for bobbling, and the poor girl fights back the tears.  Kendall is one above Maddie thanks to Jill's cut throat tactics.  Holly is quick to say that she'd rather have her daughter low on the pyramid than utilize Jill's dirty tricks.  Brooke is on the top, and while Kelly is thrilled, Abby reminds her that she has a target on her back.  A timid Chloe raises her hand to ask about her placement.  Abby explains that Chloe is still suspended, and she hopes that Chloe will realize that her mother is her biggest enemy when it comes to dance.  Good times!

The group dance is called "Don't Ask, Just Tell" and is based on the policy of gays in the military.  That's some pretty heavy subject matter, right?  Brooke, Kendall, and Maddie get solos.  Abby dismisses the girls and calls the moms onto the dance floor.  She decides to yell at them for wanting a sweet dance teacher instead of someone who creates winners.  The mothers then give their daughters a pep talk in the hallway.  Abby enlists the girls into a boot camp.  She wants blood, sweat, and tears…literally! 

In the viewing room, Melissa admits that she's been looking for honeymoon destinations.  Christi notices that her friend is wearing a wedding band.  Melissa dodges questions as to whether she's already married, and the women joke about times in the past that they've tried to help Melissa plan her wedding.  Why bother…they aren't invited!  The moms are confused as to why Abby chose this theme for the group dance.  Christi thinks this is Abby's way of showing support for the gay community.  Holly vocalizes that she doesn't find it fair that Jill was praised for her sneaky ways.  The other moms tend to agree with Holly, and Jill makes loads of excuses for her behavior.  She's no longer going to hide the fact she'll do whatever to get her daughter to the top.

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Last week's Dance Moms was emotionally draining for Abby Lee Miller given the loss of her dog. This week it was nice to get back to the petty drama…especially if said drama includes Abby speed-dating and Jill getting thrown under the bus after trying to claw daughter Kendall's way into Abby's good graces.  Jill, watch seasons past and learn.  There is a definite protocol to being Abby's pet, and it's called being named "Maddie". 

When the episode begins, Abby is glad that her girls won their most recent competition, but she's quick to remind them that it isn't their best performance.  She rails on Chloe for deviating from the choreography in the group number.  She unveils the pyramid, and Paige is on the bottom for being good but not great.  Apparently she didn't dance with her face.  Kendall joins her because she faded into the woodwork.  Jill isn't happy with Abby's choice.  Brooke rounds out the bottom for being the oldest who isn't standing out as a leader among the group.  Nia is on the second rung…third on the pyramid to coincide with her third overall finish.  Holly is proud.  MacKenzie joins her.  Not surprisingly, Maddie has found herself back on top yet again.  This garners an eyeroll from Jill.  Chloe doesn't even make the pyramid, and Christi bites her tongue.

This week, the troupe is heading to New Jersey.  MacKenzie is still out of the group dance.  Abby is bringing in a boy to compete with the girls.  MacKenzie and Maddie both get solos.  Kendall and Nia are granted a duet.  I love seeing Nia getting some well-deserved props.  Abby introduces Nick as the boy lead, and all his counterparts are squealing with excitement.  Brooke will be the female lead.  Aww, I see a prom date in their future!  In the dance, Brooke is dying and Maddie is her daughter.  Abby hopes that Maddie's facial expressions will carry the number.  It's like a Les Mis situation minus the French Revolution.  In the veiwing room, Christi waxes poetic about their girls finding their first love.  That conversation quickly turns to introducing Abby to speed dating.  This is going to be a great episode!  Operation Find A Man For Abby commences.  Jill wants to find a man for Abby in hopes of furthering Kendall's dance career.

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Last night's Dance Moms had to have been one for the record books.  Not only did it have the return of Black Patsy, but we got to see Abby Lee Miller express emotions other than hatred or favoritism.  I didn't know she had it in her!  

The episode begins as the girls and moms convene in the studio, but Abby is missing.  She arrives late and explains to everyone that her dog Baby has passed away.  Abby fights through the tears to remind her troupe that this week they will be competing in St. Louis.  The girls are visibly saddened to see their teacher so upset.  Pets are family members, so my heart goes out to Abby.  Losing a pet is devastating.  Abby quickly runs through the pyramid.  Paige is on the bottom for her apparent lack of confidence.  Brooke joins her for only scoring fifth.  MacKenzie rounds out the lowest level.  Kendall is on the second rung, along with Nia whose facial expressions garner praise from Abby.  Maddie seems to have once again secured a permanent residence in the top spot.

The group number will have some ballet choreography, and MacKenzie is once again out of the dance.  Abby touts the piece as an epic love story, and she hopes she'll be able to escape into the fantasy of the dance to forget about the loss of BabyNia is given a solo, and Holly is over the moon for her daughter.  Maddie will also be dancing a solo.  Abby reminds the girls that St. Louis is the home of Nicaya, who is the daughter of blink-and-you-missed-her-but-man-was-she-sassy-putting-the-crazies-in-their-place Black Patsy.  Abby pleads with the moms to be on their best drama-free behavior.  Good luck with that!

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Last night's Dance Moms was a lesson in opposites.  For once, Abby Lee Miller was in a (dare I say?) nice mood.  She kept her criticism to a minimum and was full of compliments for the girls.  However, former besties Kelly and Christi caused tension wherever they went and end up at each other's throats.  Was it a full moon?

The episode begins as the dancers and moms convene at the studio, and the women are all wondering about Christi and Chloe's status with ALDS.  Kelly still hasn't heard from her friend, although Christi has briefly spoken to Holly.  The mother-daughter duo arrive, and the girls are elated to see their friend.  Abby refuses to speak to Christi, but Christi still manages an apology and admits that she's made peace with the competition's director to smooth things over on Abby's behalf.

Abby is very disappointed in the girls' showing at the recent competition, and she rips Cathy to shreds.  Holly maintains that Abby was insensitive to Nia's health issues, but Abby doesn't want to hear it.  Nia is at the bottom of the pyramid, as is Paige for not getting to dance thanks to Holly's outburst.  Kendall joins her friends because she didn't place in her solo.  MacKenzie and Brooke are on the middle rung, and both gain Abby's praise.  Maddie is back on top again for winning with her solo.  This week, the girls will be dancing in Florida.  Everyone is permitted to dance in the group routine entitled "Money is the Root of All Evil."  The costumes will be green and made out of real money.  What?  Maddie and Brooke both receive solos. 

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It's another day, another boy dance drama in the world of Dance Moms.  On last night's episode, Abby Lee Miller seems to totally lose her cool, but not before she can be a major bee-atch to her sweet dancers.  Lifetime is sinking to an all new low! 

After their surprise victory, the moms and daughters are back in the studio.  Of course, Christi and Chloe are nowhere to be found after storming out after the last competition.  The girls are happy to have won, but Abby isn't happy that they only beat the Candy Apples by a tenth of a point.  Can't they do better than that?  Abby decides to buck convention and start at the top of the pyramid.  Kendall's friends almost seem more excited that she does to learn it's her first time in the best spot.  Jill is thrilled, and Abby warns her that Christi isn't going to like that Kendall beat national title holder Chloe.  Oh, give it a rest.  The middle tier is comprised of Maddie and Nia.  According to Abby, they were good, but not great.  The bottom rung is PaigeMacKenzie, and a suspended Chloe.  Kelly is happy to learn that due to Chloe's indefinite suspension, Brooke has regained her spot on the team.

Abby warns the group that the Candy Apples will also be at this week's competition in Detroit.  Jill can't believe her luck.  Her daughter finally gets to be on the top of the pyramid, and now she'll be under added pressure to beat Cathy's crew.  Everyone will be participating in the group dance, and Kendall gets a solo.  Paige and Nia will perform a duet.  Maddie gets the final solo, but Abby tells her not to be too excited because there is really no one else to compete against Cathy's boys.  How sweet of her…

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On last night's Dance Moms, Abby Lee Miller was even more psychotic than ever in light of the return of Cathy and her Candy Apples.  Cathy brought some breakdancers, Jill took Melissa's place as Abby's do-girl, and Christi…well, Christi reaches her boiling point in a way I would have never imagined. 

Melissa is very nervous about the pyramid because she knows Abby is mad at her and livid over the fourth place finish.  In fact, Abby swoops in and stares down the dancers, telling them she wants to take a long hard look at what fourth place looks like.  ALDC hasn't seen fourth place in two decades.  Someone start the violins, please.  She is the one who is choreographing and teaching the dances.  The entirety of the blame doesn't lie on a bunch of girls in elementary school.  Or am I just crazy?  Sometimes it's hard to tell…

The girls will be traveling to New Jersey for this week's competition.  MacKenzie is at the bottom of the pyramid, and Abby yanks her from the group dance.  A tearful Maddie joins her sister, and that has to be a blow given how she's used to being on top.  I really wish Abby would stop punishing these girls for their mother's bad behavior.  She rubs Maddie's nose in the fact that Chloe won at Nationals.  Paige's alleged "laziness" puts her on the lowest rung as well along with Nia for just being "fine."  Jill is estatic to see Kendall finally off the bottom, and Abby warns Kendall that she only needs to be worried when Abby no longer cares enough to criticize her dancing abilities.  How sweet.  Chloe is also in the middle for not following Abby's choreography in the way Abby envisioned it should be.  Poor Brooke is the only one left, and Abby laughs at the thought that she's at the top of the pyramid.  Just kidding!  No one takes the top spot.  Brooke will be in the group routine, and Kendall gets a solo called "Owe You Nothing."  Abby reminds her and her mother that she owes them nada.  Nia also gets a solo.  Chloe is thrilled to get the final solo, and Maddie's face drops.  The group number will have hats as props, and Abby warns that if anyone drops a hat, they will be off the team.

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Let's revel in how horrid and scripted last night's Dance Moms was, shall we?  If I didn't love these precious little talented girls so much, I'd be kicking Abby Lee Miller and her momtourage to the curb…and out of my DVR season pass!  I do agree with one thing Abby said in her recent interview–viewers need to be treated to more dancing and less drama (Abby's hateful shenanigans included!).

Abby receives a phone call from a judge at last week's competition in Greensboro.  There was an error in scoring, and Maddie and Kendall's Sugar and Spice solo was actually supposed to get second place, not the top prize they were awarded.  Abby seems to salivate at the mouth over this news, as it validates her argument that Kendall screwed up her part.  We all know what second place is, right?  Say it with me, folks…first losers! 

Abby goes into pyramid with the smuggest of smug looks on her face.  She tells her dancers that she was unimpressed by all of their dancing regardless of how well they place.  Abby takes great pleasure in sharing the mathematical error that caused Sugar and Spice to take first place when they were really supposed to be first loser.  She goes after Kendall and wonders if she thinks she's as good as Sophia…guess what, she's not.  Wait, who is Sophia again?  Oh yeah, that little girl that danced once and hasn't been back for two episodes.  A dear Chloe consoles her tearful friend who finds herself back at the very bottom of the pyramid.  Joining Kendall at the bottom is Maddie.  Abby explains that if her duet partner falters, she falls with her.  Nia is also on the bottom for an "okay job."  Paige and Chloe make up the second tier.  Paige moves up for placing in the top five, and Chloe joins her for exceling in the group number.  An excited MacKenzie is at the top of the pyramid, and she has earned her spot back in the group number.  A very present Brooke is still nowhere to be found in Abby's hierarchy.

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