Last night’s Dance Moms was a veritable mess which comes as no surprise to those of us who have been watching this train wreck since its inception. However, normally I cringe at the ladies’ behavior, but that isn’t what I was doing with the latest episode. No, instead, I was in awe of Abby Lee Miller‘s boy toy, Jordy. He is a rapper. He is a vegan. Ladies and gentlemen, we received the greatest gift courtesy of Abby Lee…the earth’s first (and dare I say, only) vegan rapper. The world is a beautiful place (well, except for diary farms and meat packing). I’d been avoiding that new Netflix documentary because I love stuffing my face with junk far too much, but Jordy may have converted me.
As the show begins, we learn Abby is a week away from sentencing, and she’s spending that time touring Europe for some appearances and not at their upcoming competition. She calls the team together a day early for rehearsals so she can have some time with them before she leaves. Could this be Abby’s last pyramid? Fingers crossed! Abby breezes through the once drawn out tradition. Some girl Camryn, Nia, Kendall, and Brynn make up the bottom row, followed by Lilliana, Elliana, and an absent Kalani. Some girl Maesi is at the top of her pyramid, and hats off to her mother for rocking that amazing hairstyle. Or perhaps, should I say, hats on? In one of Abby’s beloved twists, she yanks the promised solos to the Ianas and gives them to Kalani, Brynn, and Kendall. The veteran moms are convinced this is a calculated move to make their girls’ last routine under Abby’s teaching a flop. They believe it will give Abby the opportunity to give up on the older dancers and focus on the minis…in the event she doesn’t go to jail.
