Do you hear that, dear readers? It’s the sound of damage control! In light of her legal woes and the notion she’s being portrayed in a false light on this season of Dance Moms (let’s pretend it’s a first and she hasn’t seemed like a miserable wretch since the show began airing so many moons ago!), Abby Lee Miller is speaking out against her negative perception.
Are you still reading? I wasn’t sure…I had to step away from my computer for a second to make sure I wasn’t hit by a stray lightning bolt…you know, by association. Well, we’re all still alive, with eyelashes intact, so let’s dish on Abby’s latest antics, shall we?
Abby Lee Miller was notably absent on last night’s Dance Moms, but apparently her attendance isn’t required for ridiculous drama.
After Abby’s “resignation” on last week’s episode, the veterans and newbie moms are unsure of their direction, having relocated to a new studio. As the elite team and their mothers ponder their next move, Nia breaks down over haters on social media. Gia is taking over for Abby, and she’s not really the pyramid type. In lieu of solos, Gia has opted for duets. Kalani and Nia are thrilled to be paired together. Minis Peyton and Alexus are recycling a duet originally danced a few seasons ago by Chloe and Asia. Brynn and Kendall will be dancing the final duet, and Ashlee interrupts to ask if Brynn’s choreography will be more difficult than Kendall’s moves. Um no, Gia reminds Ashlee that they will be doing the same dance. As the moms bicker with Ashlee, Gia realizes that a group dance featuring the elites and the minis is going to be a lot harder than anyone anticipated.
Even though she ghosted from the dance competition on this week’s episode of Dance Moms, I don’t think Abby Lee Miller is going anywhere anytime soon. Of course, by “anywhere” I mean “the clink.” The unhinged reality star is facing up to five years and five million dollars in fines as she’s accused of hiding almost $800,000 in earnings from the show during her 2010 bankruptcy.
As the drama (and Abby’s mental breakdown) plays out on Lifetime, her legal team is working behind the scenes to buy more time in her fraud proceedings. On Wednesday, Abby’s lawyers filed a request for an extension in order to extend the deadline for their pretrial motions. This is the third delay in Abby’s trial.
Those of us who have been watching Dance Moms for a hot second are no strangers to Abby Lee Miller melt downs, but last night certainly took the cake, didn’t it? As last night’s episode unfolds, Abby is in crisis mode at the ALDC LA studio, hair in hot rollers, dramatic phone call, and lots and lots of tears. The girls and their moms congregate at 7:30 in the morning, and everyone is thrilled to welcome Maddie back into the mix. Maddie catches up her friends on her rise to stardom, and they are just as excited for her as she is humble. It’s cute to see them and realize there is a tiny bit that is still genuine about this show. Her Hollywood escapades are interrupted by Abby screeching in the next room, and the mothers plot to send in the mini troupe to check on her. Their girls certainly don’t want that responsibility!
As the minis and moms converge on the studio, Jess quickly directs them to the back room where Abby is braless and sobbing on her cell. It’s beyond awkward, and the mini moms retreat. After they contain their giggles, Melissa and Jill try to coax Abby out of the back room, but she screams at them to leave. Melissa is peeved. Maddie just scored a prime photo shoot, and Abby needs to be excited for her daughter. Ashlee is upset that Abby isn’t focused on the newbies, and she goes head to head with Jill over who is more passive aggressive. Ashlee accuses Kendall of being as hateful as her mother, and Jill shrieks into the parking lot (followed by Melissa) to find photographers from Seventeen Magazine hoping to document Maddie’s time with the ALDC. Jill recalls that Abby didn’t want any outside projects, but Maddie is always an exception.
Tonight’s Dance Moms was filled with mini meltdowns and mega drama. The ALDC mothers are concerned because Abby Lee Miller is introducing a new, younger team to replace their girls. She barely has time as it is to coach her competition team, and now these little ones are going to eat up even more of Abby’s time. Abby can’t be bothered with their fears…she needs to find her next Maddie, and the way the ALDC performed at last week’s competition has her convinced it’s the best decision. Her girls didn’t have one first place finish!
Kendall is on the bottom of the pyramid for not being able to express emotions through her facial expressions. She’s tired of Kendall just being pretty…not to mention, Kendall placed third in her solo division. Nia and MacKenzie round out the bottom…they both have super successful videos and songs on iTunes, yet they can’t snag a win. Brynn takes the third spot from the top for being middle-of-the-road, and JoJo is excited to be second with Abby praising her stand-out performance in the group routine. Kalani takes her rightful spot at the top of the pyramid for rocking the group dance…and becoming a big sister. Kira and her baby brother are healthy and happy. Kendall is given the promised solo for having the highest individual score, and Jessalyn reminds Abby about Kendall’s make-up breakdown. JoJo gets the second solo, but she’s going to have to give up the bow for her dark hip-hop number. The girls cheer when they learn that the group routine will also be hip-hop, and Abby brings in their choreographers. She’ll be too busy working with her minis.
After a mediocre first week of Dance Moms, Abby Lee Miller is trying to keep her crazy in check, but she’s really just in major denial.
After lectures on punctuality and dedication, Abby is running late. She needs her make-up artist to make sure her eyebrows look better. Jill recognizes this behavior as Abby being on the verge of a breakdown. When the ALDC convenes for the pyramid, Maddie and Kalani are on the bottom due to their absences. MacKenzie and Kendall round out the bottom row. Nia is in the third spot for managing JoJo’s hamster ball, and JoJo places second for actually dancing in the ball. Brynn is in the top spot for winning her solo. Abby grants her solos to Kendall, MacKenzie and Nia, snarking that their mothers think they are good replacements for Maddie. Melissa sticks up for MacKenzie at every turn (for the first time), and Abby doesn’t appreciate her new stance. In a twist, Abby makes the announcement that she’s going to start training a mini team of young girls who she hopes will redeem her name with her sub-par competition team. The mothers are less than thrilled with this news.
Summer is over, the girls and their mothers are back in Los Angeles, and JoJo is on a hoverboard. It’s got all the makings for a dramatic (and extra-long, I’m sure!) season. That’s right, dear readers! Dance Moms returned last night, and Abby Lee Miller brought the crazy…which she promises has nothing to do with her upcoming absences. Please. Kendall hopes that the finished studio will be good for Abby’s soul…she can’t be hateful in this beautiful space, right? Melissa brags that Maddie isn’t in attendance because she’s filming a movie, oh, and she’s now Kalani’s legal guardian so the teen can dance with the group while her mother Kira gets married and gives birth. Timing, you know. Abby interrupts the clucking hens, and she is beyond peeved at their Nationals loss. She lectures her clearly defeated group of dancers about their recent humiliation as the mothers purse their lips and the girls fight back tears.
Abby declares a ban on any extra work. No music videos, no appearances, no auditions, just dance. JoJo’s mother points out the hypocrisy that Maddie is filming a movie. Jill screams about her loyalty and how Kendall was turning down jobs left and right, as Kendall bawls, pleading for her mother not to make things worse with Abby. Abby then declares all of her dancers on the bottom of the pyramid before introducing Brynn to fill the incredible void left by Maddie. Brynn’s mother Ashlee does the requisite amount of sucking up as the other moms sulk.
After a season of Dance Moms that seemed to last a Lifetime (har har!), I’d all but forgotten Abby Lee Miller and her antics. Until now, that is. Welcome, weekend! Just like that, I was reminded that the dance teacher from hell would be returning for another, likely longer than eternity, sixth run. Don’t get me wrong, the fact these mothers keep their daughters in that situation boggles my mind as well (I know, I know…the contracts, the contacts, and the reality fame).
Apparently this go-round, Abby isn’t kowtowing to the show’s creator, Collins Avenue Productions. Abby, it seems, doesn’t like being forced into looking like a horrible role model (it’s worked so far, right?), and she’s reminding her fans not to pay attention to any negative gossip about her surrounding the upcoming season. Doesn’t she have anything better to complain about, like being indicted on numerous counts of bankruptcy fraud? JK, she’s totes not guilty, according to Abby herself.