The Men Tell All, The Parade of Tools, The Reincarnation of the 3 Stooges… however you label it, it’s still the Bachelorette starring Emily Maynard<yawn> Two hours of video recaps and retells taped in front of one very reactive audience <SCREAMS!> makes me wish I drank wine.
Chris Harrison welcomes us by asking, “Who here would finally like to see Emily find the love of her life?” Raising my hand! If it means she’ll go away, then, by all means, let’s get this woman hitched. Jef Holm and Arie Luyendyk, Jr. are not there, but the men who escaped a lifetime of love few short months of happiness with Emily are. Yippee.
Sean is there! <SCREAMS!> Kalon is there! <BOO!> Seriously, the audience is so over the top.
“I will confirm it, he’s not the Bachelor, we’ve not named anybody to be the Bachelor yet,” the show’s host tells the site.
“We don’t need to, we don’t name anybody so early,” Chris explains. “I love the speculation and that people are talking about our show but we just don’t need to make decisions yet.”
Don’t get him wrong, he loves Roberto. He says, “He is a great guy, I love Roberto. First of all I hear he’s stunningly handsome, and he’s a very nice guy, he has a lot to offer and would be a great Bachelor. I would put my vote behind him but luckily I don’t have a vote.”
Sean is strong, funny, and sensitive. Emily thinks he’d be a great father figure to Ricki. Jef has style. Jef is kind and thoughtful, with a great sense of humor. Emily feels as if Jef gets her like no one else ever has.
Emily’s favorite things about Arie are his upper lip, his bottom lip, and his tongue. Emily cries when she thinks about Arie. Is it because she knows he’s the one or because she knows he’s not the one and she’s already mourning those kisses?
Ali Fedotowsky‘s ex-fiancé Roberto Martinez is rumored to be the next Bachelor. With Roberto and his delicious dimples getting so much attention, is former Bachelor and Bachelorette star Ali also hoping for another chance? Returning to the show isn’t out of the question. Brad Womack recently gave it another try. He’s still single and now we’re stuck with the yawn-fest that is Emily Maynard, but he tried. Will Ali follow Brad’s example and return to the show?
“I don’t think so – at least, not in the near future. I think it’s way too soon for something like that. So not right now, no,” she tells Wetpaint. So, that’s a no to the Bachelorette (for now). Ali‘s single and ready to mingle though!! Ali says, “I’m single right now. I’ve actually been single this entire time, despite what you may have heard! I’ve been on one or two semi-dates…I’m not even sure you would call them actual dates. But I’m ready. I’m ready!”
Bachelor Pad returns on July 23 on ABC! Which The Bachelor and The Bachelorette rejects will get a second (third, fourth, fifth) chance at finding true love on reality TV? Ha, only if you’re Holly Durst and Blake Julian. More than likely, this ego-heavy cast is more interested in hooking up and collecting the cash prize of $250,000. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I like my TV to be dirty and not too deep.
New twist this season – six hand-selected super fans of the franchise will join the Bachelor Pad fun. Fresh meat!!
Perhaps one of the most self-absorbed contestants is none other than Emily Maynard‘s pariah Kalon McMahon. Kalon, the luxury brand consultant whose preferred mode of transportation is a helicopter, got himself kicked to the curb this week after referring to Emily’s daughter as budget-basement baggage. The comment brought out Emily’s West Virginia hood rat backwoods side, which is the most exciting thing to happen all season. If Kalon can bring personality out of Emily, I’m all for his presence on the Bachelor Pad!
It’s your daily dose of Bachelorette with a heaping side of Harrison…add some Bachelor Pad for dessert sprinkled with just the right amount of hook ups, implants, and shame. Let’s dig in, shall we?
The always lovely and good-natured Chris Harrison, host of all three train wrecks love quests, opened up to The Huffington Post about his favorite couples through the years. He reveals, “Trista and Ryan [Sutter] were just lightning in a bottle. I don’t know if we’ll ever capture anything like that again. That one will always stand out.” The couple was the first of the franchise to actually wed (on television, of course), and now they have two children together.
Another of Chris’ favorite love birds were our current Bachelorette Emily Maynard and two-time BachelorBrad Womack. He tells the site, “I felt like the two of them were meant to be and it was gonna work. When they broke up, I was really sad.” Well, you certainly know if you’re tuning into this season that Em has stolen Chris Harrison’s heart along with those of her suitors.
“Everybody’s had this appetite for her,” Chris continues. “She’s so contagious. You just want to care for her, you want to root for her, you want her to do well, and that really makes for a perfect Bachelorette. When her name came up [to be the next Bachelorette], we started bantering about and it was a unanimous home run. It’s very rare that it’s unanimous.”
On DWTS, one of the stars, opera singer Katherine Jenkins, has been a fan favorite this season…which is phenomenal considering not a lot of people knew who she was when the contestants were announced. Admittedly, she’s adorable, endearing, and a heck of a dancer. However, when performing her second routine in the semi-finals, she made a mistake…or was she injured?
After her mishap, both she and partner Mark Ballas were tweeting–not about her misstep, but of the back injury that caused it. Katherine tweeted, “I’m with the Doctor, he says it was a reflectorical spasm in my lower back,” which was quickly followed by Mark telling fans, “Katherine hurt her back, I tried my best not let her fall at the end. Hope we still have ur votes.”
So, injury or cover-up for a mistake that could have cost them? Katherine is my frontrunner, and I don’t think she’s the type to not own her mistakes, so I think she has a back injury…and I hope she feels better soon!
TELL US–DO YOU THINK SHE HURT HERSELF OR IS JUST TRYING TO GET THE SYMPATHY VOTE?
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The eighth season of The Bachelorette vows to be unlike any other. The famewhore making the decisions this season is Emily Maynard. America’s sweetheart, America’s famewhore, same difference. You probably remember Emily from Brad Womack’s second season. Brad’s the frequent-flyer bachelor who handed out roses in both seasons 11 and 15 of The Bachelor. His second attempt at true love ended with him proposing to Emily. Emily accepted Brad’s proposal, but her ridiculously high expectations and naiveté quickly wilted the relationship.
Emily is a single mom. And, I don’t know if you’ve heard, but she was engaged once before Brad. She was engaged to Ricky Hendrick, of NASCAR fame, in 2004. Sadly, on a rainy Sunday afternoon in October of the same year, Ricky boarded a plane sans an ill-feeling Emily. The plane crashed, leaving behind a pregnant Emily. Now, Emily is a single mom looking for true love on The Bachelorette. Even though it didn’t work for her the first time around, she “knows the series works.” Because, you know, that 17% success rate is a great testament of the true love that comes from appearing on The Bachelor or The Bachelorette. I’m obviously grading on a curve, here. I’m including Trista Sutter, Jason Mesnick, by way of U-turn, Ashley Hebert, and Ben Flajnik, who is still collecting money on the deal.