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Adriana De Moura

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Adriana de Moura has been keeping her distance from Lea Black ever since Lea got wind of her little marriage lie. I mean they weren't really married, that was just a piece of paper. Or maybe they were but didn't feel married without a mega-ceremony. I really can't keep all the stories straight. Anyway, now the two have tentatively made peace. 

'It was great to see all the girls act like adults and move on from the petty issues… I'm in such good place in my life right now that I no longer want to dwell on negativity. I just want to forgive and forget and let love lead my life," Adriana writes in her Bravo blog before ripping Lea a new one!

The Real Housewives of Miami star says that she refuses to blame herself for their friendship failing, because Lea is a control freak who wants to make her look bad. Right! Let's get started ripping this piece of froth to shreds. 

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The Real Housewives of Miami - Season 3

Orange is the new black, and black is the high-pitched, turbaned voice of reason? After a crazy Sunday night with the ladies of Real Housewives of Miami, I may purchase one of Lea Black's grhandma bags to bitch slap my favorite frienemies! After Lisa Hochstein revisited the Audriana de Moura deDrama at Lea's bag launch and Alexia Echevarria insulted her event, what's poor Lea to do (besides play nice with Audriana for the sake of her son)? Why address the episode's events (and her "hate club") in her Bravo blog, of course!

Lisa begins, "I love you Lisa, but a premiere of my handbag line at a couture boutique really isn't the place to re-hash the 'Adriana saga'. I'm starting to feel like the Adriana issue is being shoved down my throat every single time I am around some of the girls. I can't even go to a business engagement without it becoming the topic of conversation. I'm starting to feel like I'm being "water-boarded" to overlook who I have realized she is and who she is not — just so everyone can have a cocktail together!"

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Last night's episode of Real Housewives of Miami was brought to us by Lea Black's boobs. Was it me or were they borderline popping out in every scene? Did she pay a visit to Dr. Boob God recently?

Other than that, Joanna Krupa had a meltdown and threw a soap opera bitchfit which included kicking Lisa Hochstein out of her wedding party. And Lisa cried and whined and meddled and stirred the pot. Really, Lisa needs a hobby. Maybe crochet? 

Lea is creating The World of Lea Black which includes patenting that laugh and every time you open a Lea Black box it bursts out. She's creating handbags and writing books and skin care crap. I really don't know, but I guess it's a full-fledged industry in fabulosity. More power to her because at least she was doing this pre-Housewives so it's not just some schleppy storyline to give her a purpose on the show. Apparently it's a "movement". 

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Last night's episode of Real Housewives of Miami was all about family matters – and twisty, curvy, convoluted family dynamics! 

It turns out Romain Zago has more than a childhood shrouded in negligent parenting as neither of his parents could give a fig about attending his wedding to Joanna Krupa. Scared of Joanna? Even worse – Romain's brother, the supposed best man, is iffy about whether or not he'll attend. Maybe they can do Skype nuptials? Joanna feels that's what they get for waiting six years to set a date. Nevertheless it made her really appreciate her family (maybe she'll stop ball-busting Marta. I mean she's finally stopped ball-busting Romain!). 

It also makes Joanna understand that she truly is the only family Romain has. Better get to reproducing – or she's probably saving that for next year's storyline (if they get renewed, that is)! To celebrate their love, Romain is surprising Joanna with a romantic evening. First he rips up the prenup they were planning to sign (love, Housewives style!) then he rents a yacht and has a puppy waiting on board. Joanna is in heaven. I'm just happy Joanna found someone willing to put up with her. Better Romain than Marta – or me! 

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For once Joanna Krupa is happy she doesn't get along with Adriana de Moura! Because it means she didn't have to wait…and wait… and wait… and wait for a faux wedding/vow-renewal

The Real Housewives of Miami star who will soon have her own wedding air on Bravo, says she is thrilled that she skipped reality TV's most time consuming nuptials

"The good news for me is that I wasn't there. So NO, I didn't wait 1 1/2 hours for the ceremony. NO, I didn't wait 2 hours to start eating. NO, I didn't have to change clothes twice in the super hot summer of Miami while the bride was trying to get ready," Joanna writes in her Bravo blog.

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Adriana de Moura's wedding was quite the, um… event! It better have been for all the time guests spent waiting for her to put on a dress!

The formal affair featured a reception that started two hours late, after they were forced to change clothes in a parking lot. All class there. Anyway, the Real Housewives of Miami star insists that's not what really happened, claiming Bravo edited her affair to look way worse than it was. #yeahright

Plus Adriana said she was just really tired and that's what took so long. Starting with her bravo blog she's all about excuses. "All of those emotions added to the stress of planning a wedding, and I was literally crumbling down as my wedding day approached," Adriana laments. "My physical limit was pushed and I was very drained and feeling weak; just one hour before the wedding I felt like fainting and believed I wasn't going to make it, because I had no more strength to carry on physically."

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rhom-recap-adriana-wedding

Last night on Real Housewives of Miami we were witness to the slooooowest wedding ever. I mean it took over five years and then some hours to finally get that thing officially off the ground, right?! 

Adriana de Moura was hours upon hours late to her own affair because she confused wedding with fashion show and was holed up in a suite getting dressed. Meanwhile downstairs the guests were sweating to death before passing out from hunger and finally giving up and leaving. Hopefully they all swung by McDonald's on their way out. 

Twenty-four hours before the big day, the drama begins. Adriana is having a stress attack and is so sick she's talking about skipping the whole thing to sleep. She pretty much did skip the whole thing but that's cause she was grooming. Speaking of grooming, despite just getting an IV of vitamins she needs Frederic Marq to give her a B-12 shot in the butt for more vitamins. Is it possible to be addicted to them?

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adriana de moura

Last night on The Real Housewives of Miami, Adriana de Moura turned off her co-stars by sending out her wedding invitations via email.  And not just any old E-vite…one with detailed instructions on what to wear, what not to wear and an inspiration board to get them started! 

Adriana took to her Bravo blog to defend her wedding decisions, "Welcome to the 21st century! Yes, I had an Evite for my wedding, because we all live on our computers, tablets, smart phones, etc. Who needs a printed invite when nobody cares about that anymore? Besides we need to save trees and think of our impact on the environment as well."  Fellow Real Housewife NeNe Leakes apparently agrees with her, as she did the same thing.

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