Joanna Krupa and Romain finally had a breakthrough in their relationship. Adriana de Mouracontinuedto be insane by insisting her wedding guests dress pure and innocent as angels, newborn fawns, and daisies at her sham re-wedding, which is anything but fresh as the first snow.
Joanna has Lisa Hochstein over for dinner. Joanna doesn't cook or use dishes so she serves sushi and soup out of the restaurant takeout boxes. I was getting the BPA heebie-jeebies watching them drink miso out of the big plastic cartons. The food doesn't really matter since the wine is the main course.
For every bout of bad behavior, every Bravo star has a sob story and tiny violin to play to explain it away. Real Housewives of Miami'sAdriana de Moura is no exception. Listen, I'm not discounting a troubled youth or a sad home life or awful relationships which lead to low self-esteem, but don't we all have these same issues on some level or another?
Where else should these "explanations" be aired but on their Bravo blog? Adriana uses hers this week to share why she has such trust issues and why meeting with the minister was so important to her and her husband fiance Frederic.
Last night on Real Housewives of Miami bridges to the past were burned as everyone focused on getting over it, moving forward, and embracing the positive. Except for Lenny Hochstein – he embraced the liposuction and actualized his dream of looking like Romain Zago of being a swimsuit model.
Things begin with Adriana de Moura and Joanna Krupa meeting for breakfast to discuss why they hate each other. Joanna stuck to non-alcoholic beverages and that ensured that no eggs were thrown in anyone's face (boring!) despite Adriana being an hour late. In the end Adriana apologizes for calling Joanna "Ho-anna" and insinuating she was an escort, although she tries to blame the whole thing on Lea Black! All is good… for now! Personally I don't know how Joanna resisted the urge to knock that goofy white hat off Adriana's head.
I dunno… maybe Real Housewives of Miami is growing on me. It's so… glossy. I mean, I'm a girl who loves a soap opera and since reality TV is just as staged and melodramatic as Revenge, why not amp up the glamour and make it look as glossy as Revenge. Although if Emily Thorne ever sports leopard print tuxedo trousers with a neon racing stripe Imma have serious issues.
So last night the bionic blonde trio of Lea Black, Joanna Krupa, and Fembot Fakenstein traveled to LA for a little wedding planning. You wouldda thought it was the first time these broads had been on an airplane before with all the handycam footage they were shooting. Lisa gleefully popped a tranquilizer of some sort then put both legs behind her head contortionist style and bragged that Lenny really likes that move. Um… I have never seen an adult woman that flexible – even in yoga – did she get her hipbones removed or something? Is she entirely made of high-grade silicone. She's definitely a fembot.
Then they arrive at Joanna's LA home, which is really pretty. Lisa looses track of her giant suitcase, which weighs approximately double what she does even when she wears 7" platforms. It starts rolling away from her down the driveway. She takes off after it fearing for the life of her Louboutins and ends up in the street desperately tripping over the giant thing. That was seriously the funniest scene I've ever seen on this show. It was classic and adorable.
Our favorite reality TV stars cannot get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to Twitter to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here's a roundup of some of our favorite photos from the Twitterverse this week! Enjoy!
Above: Jenni Pulos shared, "Just died and went to heaven and Hello Kitty is flying me there!"
Poor Lea Black has found herself in an unfortunate Housewives tableau: the most popular Housewife from any given show inevitably gets turned on by cast members/former friends angry that they're not getting a bigger piece of the popularity pie!
This season Lea is getting some hot and spicy mean girl served up in the form of Adriana de Moura, who obviously is hoping to distract from her own grifter lying ways by trying to make Lea look bad. It's a familiar story in the Housewives Kingdom. Responding to Adriana's rudeness and accusations in the last episode of Real Housewives of Miami, Lea denies lying about her marriage and claims she is absolutely not out to destroy her former BFFL!
"No, I didn't put an article in the paper about Adriana's marriage license. That has been proven over and over again. The original source was someone on Twitter who has subsequently acknowledged breaking the story," Lea begins in her Bravo blog. And true – that is where the original story came from – just ask us as we were right thick in the middle of it!