I just can't figure out what's going on with Real Housewives of Miami. It's like in a desperate bid to be as good as all the other shows, they scrambled to switch everything up – giving me no sense of security here.
On top of that, I think I'm Weddings by Bravo'd out. I mean on top of Tamra Barney and NeNe Leakes' big spinoffs we're now inundated with Adriana de Moura and Joanna Krupa planning weddings and bickering about weddings and out-weddings each other and weddings, weddings, weddings… Maybe we can just pull a Sister Wives, lump all the Bravo brides together, and throw them with one man. I nominate Andy Cohen to be tied to these broads for life. Payback's a bitch!
So last night Joanna and Romain Zago had the big talk. You know, the prenup one. In a pseudo intimate moment in which Joanna's minimalist makeup was applied to perfection, they had breakfast in bed and argued, over freshly cut fruit, that Romain was going into wedding planning by planning his divorce. Um… he's agreeing to marry JOANNA.
Last week the two former enemies tepidly agreed to be civil, but clearly the peace won't last. With dueling weddings on the horizon the two attention whores ladies are about to out bridezilla each other. Oh goody!
“I think I had the most heartfelt, true to the feelings, family oriented, religious ceremony,” Adrianainsists Hollywood Life. “I think she had a new, rich type of wedding… where everything is over the top."
Adriana de Moura is just so sick of vintage. I mean vintage boats, vintage cars, vintage marriage licenses, vintage friendships with Lea Black. All that old crap is just boring her and she's tired of it. It so doesn't count if it's old and decrepit right?! Too bad Frederic doesn't agree. So that's the season premiere of Real Housewives of Miami; Adriana and Lea aren't friends anymore, everyone is wondering why the hell Adriana is getting married if she's already married, and no one is telling the truth.
Let's dive in! Nautical reference intended. Things kick off withJoanna Krupa pretending she's classy and all that by hopping off a private jet into Lea's awaiting town car. Apparently they became best friends in the off-season. I'm gonna venture to guess Roy (Lea's hubs) predicted Joanna was gonna lose it one of these times and need a good defense attorney. We also know Lea loves the crazy. So anyway, they're friends and Lea and Adriana are NOT!
Lea is hurt that Adriana has been lying about her marital status for years and not only that when Lea was getting her very elderly and hard working a$$ unduly handed to her by Ana Quincoces at last season's reunion, Adriana sat there and said nothing in her defense. Lea cries and Joanna pats her knee affectionately cause she hates Adriana too!
Real Housewives of Miami'sJoanna Krupa isn't known to mince words, and she's certainly not going to start while she's out and about promoting the upcoming season of the hit Bravo franchise which premiere this coming Monday night at 9 PM.
The outspoken model, newlywed, former Joe Francis conquest, and PETA activist has a sharp tongue when it comes to her co-stars, and Joanna seems pretty determined to bring the drama on RHOM third go-round. After all, drama seems to equal relevance when you're a Bravolebrity!
"Of course, the Gorgas will step up, as will [cousins] Rich and Kathy Wakile, especially since the kids are involved," a family insider revealed to Perez Hilton.
If that happens, Bravo better get those cameras rolling. I can only imagine Melissa Gorga wrestling with Milania as she tries to plaster down that hair and turn her into a sweet little angel with coordinated outfits. Milania doesn't do charm school, bitch.
You know, it's a shocker that Adriana de Moura and Joanna Krupa aren't biffles. Maybe the Real Housewives of Miami stars are just too much alike to get along. To be honest, but for their hair color, they could practically be the same person. Both ladies have explosive tempers, flawless figures, and potty mouths, and they strive to always be the center of attention while stringing along the men in their lives. Wonder twin powers, activate! Form of: silicone ice, shape of: boobalicious Bravolebrity!
Now Adriana is following in Joanna's PETA footsteps, and now she's starring in her own animal empowering photo shoot.