First of all let me apologize for this beast being so late, but good things come to those who wait, right? Last night on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, boy did we witness some groveling. It was down in the dirt, on your knees, begging kind of groveling as Queen Lisa Vanderpump barely acknowledged her subject's pleas for redemption.
I should say last night's episode was a study in relationship building and friendship, but also in status. New alliances were drawn, and enemy lines began to be sorted out. Also, the ladies took a trip to Ojai where apparently magic happens. But no amount of magic can make these girls behave in public.
Things begin with two ladies afflicted by a curse of over botoxing and an unfortunate affinity for ugly blouses facing off in a quaint little restaurant. One lady, a benevolent but stern queen, and the other a marginally disgraced princess who is quivering and anxious with anticipation. Yes, Adrienne Maloof has realized she made enemies with the wrong lady, because while Lisa can be sweet as rosé, she will cut a bitch faster than she'll discard a wilting rose.
Adrienne Maloof and Brandi Glanville have been at each other's throats since last year's reunion. And things are about to explode staring with tonight's Real Housewives of Beverly Hills episode. The former friends (Adrienne reportedly got Brandi cast for the show!) get into an argument over Adrienne's marital problems.
“Adrienne and Brandi get into a HUGE fight about Adrienne and Paul [Nassif]’s marriage,” an insider dishes to NY Daily News.
Apparently the fight began over Adrienne misrepresenting herself to cameras – including behaving as if her marriage was fine while the entire cast knew things were very rocky between Adrienne and Paul!
“Adrienne has been very controlling about what she allows the cameras to film because she wants to project a certain image of having the perfect life,” the insider explains.
Last night on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills we were treated to a feast of crazy. Newbie Yolanda Foster tells us her biggest problem in life is having too many lemons about her house (she has an orchard of lemon trees), and after last night's dinner party I think that very well may be the case. Sometimes friendships go sour, and sometimes sour grapes ruin a friendship before it even begins.
Things begin with Kim Richards getting her youngest daughter Kimberly ready for prom. Kim is breathless with anxiety and is taking out her stress by molesting a vat of chicken salad for 100 while Kimberly gets her hair done. Kim comes out with this bowl that weighs as much as she does and sets it down in the middle of some banquet feast saying she just wants everything to be perfect.
It was literally the chicken salad that ate Kim Richards and she was running her fingers through it, caressing it, just praying on this chicken mess that everything would go perfectly.
Kimberly's boyfriend shows up and he's 20 to her 16. What?! Maybe they should stay home and eat chicken salad. How exactly did this man meet this teenager and who exactly is condoning this? Well, besides Bravo and Kim, obviously. I'll try not to judge… I have to say I cannot get over how gorgeous Kimberly is and how much she looks like a young Kim.
If you recall, shortly after Brandi high-tailed it out of there fearing the crazy would be unleashed, Taylor started loose-lipping salacious gossip about Brandi to anyone that would listen. Taking to her Bravo blog, Brandi says she's pretty sure Taylor's behavior was spurned by drunkeness – and she was prepared!
"When Taylor arrived seemingly drunk to a four years birthday party I had a good idea that s— was gonna go down. So after hearing some of the things she was starting to talk about and also seeing her passive aggressively ignore me as she spoke to both of people sitting on either side of me, I decided to get gone," Brandirecalls.
I just don't know what to say/think about Taylor Armstrong anymore. The woman known for her lips, among other outrageous things, is speaking out in her Bravo blog about attending Portia's birthday party – and on the situation with Brandi Glanville.
Let's break this down, shall we:
First of all the Real Housewives of Beverly HIlls star blames last season's reunion for the animosity – and she doesn't understand why Brandi is afraid of lil ol' her. I don't understand why Taylor is still on this show, but that's just me!
"There were many strong personalities present that day and certainly bad vibes between some of us. My relationship with Brandi became strained during the reunion last year and it has created tension that is in need of resolution. I find it unbelievable that she behaves as if she is anxious about seeing me."
know what they say…if you're not being featured on every episode of a reality show, the best thing you can do is make the media rounds so people either A) don't forget about you, or B) (in the case of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' "star" Marisa Zanuck) know who you are before you're ever seen on the small screen. We won't see Marisa until the eighth episode of RHOBH (yes, you read that correctly…THE EIGHTH!! That's not even a friend of a housewife, is it Dana Wilkey?), but she's bombarding our favorite blogs with controversial interviews. I may just like her. :)
You may recall Marisa has already talked smack about Real Housewives of New Jersey'sTeresa Giudice and revealed that Lisa Vanderpump is nice…when the cameras are rolling. Now, she's talking about how awful her co-star Taylor Armstrong is. The lady is all about making friends, isn't she? Not that I blame her…with the exception of my pink puff of fabulousness known as Jiggy's mom, I think she's probably spot-on with her personality perceptions.