Look out Osbournes! Keep on keepin’ on, Kardashians! A new family is hoping to take over as the resident ridiculously rich crew which combines elements of both Ozzy’s crazy clan with a musical patriarch and the Kardashian model of being famous for absolutely nothing redeeming.
That’s right, kiddos! Rod Stewart and his bunch are getting their own reality show! The Maggie Mae and Forever Young singer has had quite the career which has spanned decades and resulted in countless hits. His adult children are almost as famous. Son Sean is no stranger to reality television having appeared on the short lived Sons of Hollywood followed by a stint of Celebrity Rehab. He’s even attracted to reality stars having a much hyped May-December romance with former Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Adrienne Maloof. I’m still surprised those two didn’t last.
Adrienne, 53, and Jacob, 25, started dating shortly after she split from her first post-divorce boy toy, Sean Stewart, 34. Jacob and Adrienne were first seen together in late fall of 2013. Jacob even made a few cameos with Adrienne this season on RHOBH.
Kyle opened up about Brandi‘s insults in a recent interview. “I honestly don’t listen to one thing she says anymore,” she insisted. “If she had said something like this a few years ago, I would have been upset, hurt, and so offended, but now I feel like I don’t pay attention to one thing that comes out of her mouth.”
Lisa Vanderpump hinted that the drama picks up with Eileen‘s arrival. “Things change rather rapidly I am afraid, from this gentle start.” Lisa loosely credited this season’s other newbie – Lisa Rinna — for her decision to return to Real Housewives of Beverly Hills after all her “friends” turned on her last season.
Last night on The Brandi Glanville Show – formerly the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – Brandi bragged about making out with a 23-year-old meathead mover, stalked her on-again and off-again boyfriend J.R., and apologized to Adrienne Maloof for her offensive mouth letting Lisa Vanderpump force her to say mean things. Seriously Bravo? Where, oh where, is Eileen Davidson?? I need way more Beverly Hills and way less Beverly Hillbillies.
Brandi took to her blog to explain the situation with J.R, gush over the only two people on the show who still tolerate her, Yolanda Foster and Kim Richards, seethe with jealousy over Kyle Richards and Lisa Vanderpump‘s riches, and pat herself on the back for apologizing to Adrienne after two years. Did Apollo Nida write a how-to book about Real Housewives apologies?
Brandi Glanville apologized to Adrienne Maloof for surrogate-gate, because she doesn’t want it to be “awkward” when they run into each other. Uh-huh. We all know Brandi’s ulterior motive is that she needs to get to Adrienne before Lisa Vanderpump gets to her! This apology, where Brandi subtly attempted to drop hints to Adrienne that she was working on Lisa’s behalf, was another attempt of Brandi’s to join the chess team. Listen honey – stick to checkers.
Somewhere in the murky wilds between last season of RHOBH and this one, Brandi and Kim Richards became friends. Necessity is the mother of invention so the two people no one else wants to be friends with get stuck with each other. At least there were wigs!
Last night we welcomed Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills season 5! Yay! Although some things have changed – LISA RINNA IS HERE! – many things have stayed the same. Lisa Vanderpump is still fabulous and everyone is blaming her for being so, while pretending they are SO OVER that Lisa is able to get away with being snooty, snippy, and a little dismissive because she’s fun and glamorous, and pink – like a pussy!
Also, staying the same, although looking a bit more, shall we say, tweaked – is Brandi Glanville! Brandi’s face is ’bout to freeze in the the sour lemon sneer if she don’t shape up, because she is getting more bitter by the second. Brandi wants everyone to forget that she led last season’s mutiny against Lisa – correction: she wants Lisa to forget, but she also wants Lisa to accept that it was her fault that Brandi was forced to do it.
Things I realize about Brandi: she just can’t be happy, she doesn’t want to grow-up. She must have drama, and she’s only all about the truth and people owning up when it’s about other people.