I would like to personally thank whoever at TLC had the briliant idea to put June Shannon, Sugar Bear, and family into Pilgrim garb for the opening sequence of their Here Comes Honey Boo Boo Thanksgiving special. It was amazing.
We begin the special in the hospital, where Mama June and Sugar Bear are talking to a groggy Pumpkin. Unfortunately, the key catching incident from Halloween was worse than they originally thought, and Pumpkin had to have emergency surgery for a detached retina. Poor girl! Sugar Bear plays the doting father figure (seriously, how sweet a guy is he?), while June plays with her daughter's belly fat. A drugged up Pumpkin just slurs her disdain. Back at home, Pumpkin is on strict bed rest, so June gives her a metal bowl and spoon to bang if she needs assistance. They are like a family of fat McGyvers!
TRAIN! Alana is working on a project for school about the first Thanksgiving. She knows there were turkeys and that the Indians Native Americans ended up getting screwed over with a crappy meal and some casinos. She also knows that the Pilgrims came over on the Mayship the Flowership the Mayflower. According to Chubbs, this happened in 1942 (near the time of Pearl Harbor) when Christopher Columbus discovered the new world. Close, Chubbs. Very close. The first Thanksgiving meal was held at the Piedmont. Wait, no. Kribbet's Rot. Make that Plymouth Rock. I'm getting much dumber by watching these two minutes of television, but it is totally worth it. And TRAIN…twice!
Pick on June Shannon and her family all you want, but you have to hand it to this reality TV mom for having a good financial head on her shoulders.
June has said in the past that she won't change the way her family lives just because they're earning good money on reality TV. June is frugal and wise, knowing that Here Comes Honey Boo Boo won't last forever, so she saves every cent she can. The celebrity mama is squirreling away all that TLC money for her daughters' futures.
Alana Thompson and her redneckognizing family are back with a slew of holiday specials. First up? It's Halloween! If the group's time at Shhh! It's A Wig is any indication, we are in for a wild, wild ride. I have not been quiet in my love for all things Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, but last night was overkill. Don't get me wrong, I still love this family, but TLC needs to differentiate between thirty minutes of hilarious redneck reveling and an hour of dragging out poor Sugar Bear in a wheelchair. Although, how awesome was he with baby Kaitlyn?
Oh Lord, I don't even know what to say. Two minutes into the special we are treated to June napping haphazardly across her bed and Pumpkin emerging from the crawl space beneath the house (just how close does that train come to their home??) with some nastiness she's found. Pumpkin ties said nastiness to a 2×4 and dangles it over her mother's face. I can only imagine what the remaining fifty-eight minutes have in store. As for Chubbs, Chickadee, and Smoochie, they love Halloween for the sweets. As Alana so eloquently sings/raps, "Halloween is all about the treats…treatin' myself to candy!" She's practically autotuned!
Poor Sugar Bear is in a wheelchair due to a recent surgery, and Pumpkin wants to dress up Chickadee's baby as a cheese ball for Halloween. The baby is precious! June shares that Halloween is a special time for her family, given that the girls love to dress up (well, duh, they are a pageant fam!), and they love to eat candy. I'd say that's a fair assessment. The family is decorating the yard for Halloween, and I have never seen such an assortment of pumpkin inflatables. There's that darn train again…I'd make spotting the train a drinking game, but I fear that I wouldn't be able to make it through this recap! June and Sugar Bear gather up the girls to head to the pumpkin patch. I'm so happy to see they already have their Christmas lights up on their house. That should make preparation for the yuletide holiday special that much easier.
Santa Claus had better redneckognize! My favorite precocious six-year-old is very excited about this time of year, and she's anxiously awaiting a visit from the jolly, bearded guy in a red suit…and I don't mean Sugar Bear in July!
The breakout reality star may have catapulted to super stardom this year thanks to her hit show Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, but Alana Thompson is just a regular girl when it comes to celebrating Christmas, and Mama June has made sure to keep her youngest daughter very grounded. On the heels of being named one of Barbara Walters' Ten Most Fascinating People, Alana is focused on the same thing that all children are excited about this time of year–the holidays!
Sorry, Adam Levine! It seems you may be in the minority regarding your thoughts on Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. In fact, Barbara Walters (did you know she's 83? Wow!) just named Alana "Honey Boo Boo" Thompson as one of her Most Fascinating People of 2012. That's quite a designation.
While many people are turned off by the forklift foot, sketti recipe, and dumpster diving, that's just what this family does…it's not who they are. They are gross, but they truly seem to care about one another while not caring a lick about what anyone else thinks. I find that totally refreshing. Remember, different doesn't mean bad. I've been redeckognizing since the first episode!
"Seriously, Honey Boo Boo is the decay of Western civilization. Just because so many people watch the show doesn't mean it's good. So many people witness atrocities and can't take their eyes away from them, but that doesn't mean they're good. That show is literally The. Worst. Thing. That's. Ever. Happened."
"It's complete f–king ignorance and the most despicable way to treat your kids. F–k those people. You can put that in the magazine: F–k those idiots. They're just the worst. Sorry, I'm so sensitive to that — like, I don't know, man, it's upsetting. Just to clarify, I said, 'F–k those people!'"
I don't know about y'all, but there is a part of me that is still mourning the fact that Alana Thompson couldn't keep Glitzy the pig. However, it warms my heart to know that she's got a new pet to pamper. What animal wouldn't want to make its home among the Here Comes Honey Boo Boo family?
Now the young pageant princess has a new pet to love on in a way only Smoochie can. Alana now has a pet chicken that she has affectionately named Nugget. She is so ironic. Of course, I'm sure you think can of an animal rights group who is going to use this little girl's pet as a platform for its agenda. Any guesses?
RosieO'Donnell recently declared her love for Alana Thompson and her family. I'll admit… I'm one of the few around here who compares Here Comes Honey Boo Boo to a train wreck. It doesn't feel right to watch it, but I cannot look away. I still do not know if the show gives me the warm fuzzies or the heebie jeebies.
Rosie admitted Here Come Honey Boo Boo took some getting used to. "For the first 10 minutes, I was kinda stunned," Rosie said. "For the second 10 minutes, I was touched. And for the last 10 minutes I thought, this is really revolutionary TV in a way most people won't understand." Rosie was so enamored, she offered to buy the family a new house!
June Shannon finally responded to Rosie's offer. She told Rosie the same thing she told TLC – they love their house, railroad tracks and all. After acknowledging Rosie's kindness, June said, "We're not looking for a hand out, but we do want to renovate our house."
"We're in," Rosie told People in response to June's not-so-subtle hint. "Are you kidding me? Of course!"