Bringing you an all new weekend photo post… Jersey style!

Real Housewives of New Jersey families — Manzos & Lauritas — attended the wine tasting at Stew Leonards Wines on December 16, 2011 in Clifton, New Jersey. Above is a shot of Caroline Manzo and Jacqueline Laurita. More shots below of the ladies and their families!

Also below, Teresa Giudice and her husband Joe Giudice attended a flash mob in Times Square in New York City featuring their daughter Gia Giudice And True Dance Crew Troup!

And finally, Melissa Gorga and Kathy Wakile also attended a birthday celebration! All the photos are below!

[Photo credit: Dave Kotinsky/Davekotinsky.com]

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Teresa Giudice in Times Square in New York City attending a flash mob featuring daughter Gia Giudice And True Dance Crew Troup on December 10.

Teresa Giudice carries eldest daughter Gia Giudice!

Tre and Juicy Giudice!

Teresa with daughter Audriana Giudice

The Giudice Family

Caroline Manzo attended the wine tasting at Stew Leonards Wines on December 16, 2011 in Clifton, New Jersey.

Jacqueline Laurita

Chris and Albie Manzo

Jacqueline and Chris Laurita

Caroline Manzo with her sons Albie and Chris

Melissa Gorga attended the 40th birthday party of Heather Robinson, wife of former NBA star Clifford Robinson.

Kathy Wakile and hubby Rich!

Rich Wakile and Joe Gorga

Kathy and Rich

Another shot of Mel

[Photos Credit: Dave Kotinsky/Davekotinsky.com, Bergen.com]

The lawsuit, which was filed yesterday in the U.S. District Court in Los Angeles, names BLK Brands LLC. (“BLK”) and it owners — Albie Manzo, Chris Manzo, and Chris Laurita as well as Jacqueline Lauria and Louise Wilkie, as defendants.

The suit, filed by Canadian design and marketing company Creative Thinkers, Inc, alleges the Wilkies entered into an agreement with Creative Thinkers to bottle BLACKWATER(TM), a specialty health water infused with a proprietary blend of fulvic and humic acid. However, instead of working with Ivan Solomon (the owner of Creative Thinkers), his partner Gordon Jung, and their corporation, Blackwater Innovations Corp., the Wilkies allegedly stole the idea and trademark and marketed the product with the Manzo-Laurita family.

“One of the core premises of trademark law is the right and ability to protect one’s name against imitations and customer confusion,” said Bobby A. Ghajar, one of the attorneys representing Creative Thinkers. “This case goes to the heart of trademark law.”

In July 2011, Blackwater Innovations Corp. sent a cease and desist letter to BLK after the Wilkies claimed they developed the idea for the product after they witnessed the water heal their sick mother. However, the suit alleges the defendants received confidential information about the Blackwater specialty product in a November 2009 agreement, and agreed to keep information about the health water confidential.

The court documents allege the Manzo-Laurita family inappropriately used their reality TV fame to sell a false story about how the idea for the blackwater drink originated. Creative Thinkers insists that the family stole the idea after attending a food industry trade show. At the trade show, the Manzo-Laurita family allegedly saw the BLACKWATER(TM) product and conspired with the Wilkies to steal the product, marketing and distribution plan.

“We are confident that the evidence will prove that the Manzo-Laurita family and the Wilkies stole the BLACKWATER(TM) specialty concept,” said Mark D. Litvack, one of the attorneys on the case. “The Manzo-Laurita family has wrongfully used its fame to steal another’s idea, and this suit seeks to restore ownership of BLACKWATER(TM) to its true originator.”

Creative Thinkers, Inc. is now seeking to “have its stolen property returned, to recover the monies and good will wrongfully taken from it, and to prevent the defendants from wrongfully profiting from their theft, deception and infringement.”

Blackwater Innovations Corp., Solomon, and Jung have also filed a countersuit responding to claims by BLK that they had infringed the company’s trademark rights. BLK had originally filed their lawsuit as a response to the July 2011 cease and desist letter they received.

[Photo Credit: Bergen.com]

TELL US – THOUGHTS? DO YOU BELIEVE THE LAWSUIT?

If you remember the blog AllAboutTRH interviewed Angelo Vrohidis who was the manager of Lookers where Melissa worked possibly as a bartender (according to her) and possibly as a dancer (according to him). Melissa was so enraged by this accusation she accused him of being a drug addict on Twitter and then threatened to sue any media outlets who claimed she had danced. Even going so far as to have her ex-manager speak out saying she was a bartender and having the owner of Lookers, Chris Kontos, sign a sworn affidavit corroborating those claims. She also promised she would get payroll sheets proving she was merely a bartender.

Well, they’re heeeere! See, in his interview Angelo explained the payroll system claiming strippers were paid as independent contractors and other employees were on the bar’s payroll. “You have to understand, bartenders got paid by checks. Dancers were independent contractors that did not get paid by the establishment,” Angelo described. “Its different now but she worked a long time ago and that’s how it was back then. When Melissa worked, we didn’t pay the dancers and they didn’t pay us.”

And now Melissa AllAboutTRH has produced paystubs that verify she worked 7-hours per week for about one year (literally Jan 2003 – Dec 2003) as a part-time bartender. While, this does verify that Melissa bartended, some of her story doesn’t add up. Melissa claimed she worked at the club as a bartender for a few months and her manager, Larry Guarino, was quoted as saying: “She was a bartender for a couple of months years ago, it was such a short time. She was never ever a dancer.” Angelo also said she worked at the club for less than a year.

The payroll sheet clearly shows she was employed at least a full year. Some commenters wondered if the paystubs could be made up to substantiate Merlissa’s claims. And some fans wondered if Melissa could have been both dancing and bartending? While it really doesn’t matter and it was years ago, the stories still don’t add up for Melissa.

Moving on, things are apparently getting better between Dina Manzo and Caroline Manzo as the two sisters are planning to spend Christmas together! Wetpaint Entertainment spoke to the Manzo spawn: Albie, Chris and Lauren (I’m sure Greggy was lurking around somewhere too) who revealed Dina would be part of the family Christmas festivities. “Christmas Eve is bigger for us than Christmas Day,” Lauren explained. “My mom is one of 11 kids. We have everyone over and we have a five-course meal and tons of presents. The whole great room is filled with presents.

“She’s part of the family. At the end of the day, we’re family and we love each other, no matter what happens on the show,” Lauren added. While they were excited to talk Christmas, the Manzo siblings were less enthused about the upcoming fourth season of RHONJ.

“It’s funny, but Season 4 is going to go a little bit backwards,” Albie revealed. “They showed some of the footage in Season 3 – the part where the cookbook comes out. But Season 4 had already been shooting and starts even before that.”

“The cookbook isn’t what started all the problems, it actually came in the middle of all the trouble,” Albie continued. “So in Season 4, you’ll see all the events that led to it.” And speaking of the climactic Posche Fashion Show, Lauren describes it as a “disaster,” confirming that everyone is mad at Teresa Giudice!

While Dina may still be working on her relationship with her sister, she’s getting along swimmingly with Teresa as the two friends had a girls night out in NYC! Dina posted on Twitter that she had a “no drama” dinner with Teresa and another friend this Friday night and included a picture. A copy of the photo is below.

Teresa talked the dinner on her personal website and explained the third friend, Jackie, was Dina’s Maid of Honor. “She’s actually the one who first introduced me and Dina,” Teresa wrote. I bet Caroline loves that Jackie!

“It’s soooooo nice to be able to hang out with my girlfriends again without cameras around for a change,” Teresa continued. “We’ve promised to do it at least once a month… ” While it’s great that she wants to pursue friendships away from cameras is she going to post about it every month on her website because to me that’s pretty much the same as having cameras there!

Unfortunately for Dina she took a lot of heat on Twitter from some fans that accused her of being disloyal to her sister by continuing a friendship with Teresa. Dina responded, Tweeting: “To a few of u who just won’t give it up, just because I had dinner with a friend doesn’t mean I hate my sister. Get over it, it’s a TV SHOW!” Good point! She also pointed out to fans that Teresa was the one who reached out to her to rekindle their friendship, adding: “It works both ways doll.” Twitter… ruining the lives of C-List celebrities everywhere!

[Photo Credits: WENN.com]

DO MELISSA’S PAYSTUBS PROVE SHE WASN’T A STRIPPER OR IS THERE MORE TO THE STORY? SHOULD DINA CONTINUE HER FRIENDSHIP WITH TERESA DESPITE THE FEUD?

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YOU CAN CLICK ON THE IMAGES TO MAKE IT BIGGER!

A close up of Melissa’s Paystubs. Melissa is listed as Melissa Marco – her maiden name.

Payroll sheet for Melissa’s full year of employment at Lookers.

Teresa, Dina, and Jackie this Friday enjoying a “no drama” dinner together.

Another picture of Teresa and Dina at dinner.

Finally, a positive Real Housewives of New Jersey story to report on!

In today’s photo post, RHONJ stars Caroline Manzo and sister-in-law Jacqueline Laurita visited South Beach, Miami during the Nov. 18 weekend with their families in tow!

The Manzo-Laurita clan were there to help promote Albie Manzo and Chris Laurita’s company BLK Water (water enhanced with trace minerals and elements, powerful electrolytes and antioxidants). Also on the trip were Albert Manzo, Christopher Manzo and Lauren Manzo. Photos of the families are below!

Meanwhile, Melissa Gorga, pictured above with hubby Joe Gorga, attended the Zenvo ST-1 50S launch at the Liberty House Restaurant last week in New Jersey! Melissa helped launch the Zenvo ST-50S automobile. Produced in Denmark, the car is worth a cool $1.8 million!

Below are more photos of Melissa and Joe with the car! And finally, Dina Manzo got a new tattoo and a picture of that is below as well!

[Photo credit: Dave Kotinsky/Davekotinsky.com]

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Caroline Manzo with hubby Albert Manzo in Miami Beach!

Jacqueline Laurita

Albie Manzo and Christopher Manzo

The Manzo and Laurita clan!

Jacqueline Laurita and husband Chris Laurita shop in Miami Beach on Nov. 19.

Melissa Gorga attends the Zenvo ST-1 50S launch at the Liberty House Restaurant in Jersey City, New Jersey.

Melissa Gorga poses in front of the Zenvo ST-1 50S car worth $1.8 million!

Another shot of the Gorgas!

Dina Mano tweeted this week: “Guess what I did tonight?? First homemade pasta then a tattoo…I’m well rounded : )”

Dina described her Tattoo as a “Ying & Yang ladybug.”

[Photos credit: INFphoto.com, Dave Kotinsky/Davekotinsky.com]

The drama surrounding Real Housewives of New Jersey continues to explode! Melissa Gorga and Caroline Manzo are scrambling to get their sides’ of the story heard while ostracized castmate Teresa Giudice is indisposed filming Celebrity Apprentice.

Or perhaps they are just responding to the latest round of stories reported by In Touch Weekly, which are rumored to have been planted by Teresa, herself!

Speaking out on New York Live, Caroline did not hold back! “I noticed a change [in Teresa] when other ladies joined the cast,” she revealed. “We were acquaintances, not friends. Off camera, there was nothing — no interaction,” she insists.

“It has been an unbelievable experience. A growing experience, a learning experience, but I’ve had a lot of heartbreak because of it,” she explains, alluding to her rift with Dina Manzo, which she seems to believe was caused or at least exacerbated by Teresa. “So much I won’t say, because I don’t want to hurt anyone. I’m not going to blame the network. For a TV show, I’m not going to hurt someone. I’m not going to do it,” she declares.

Caroline is also still reeling from Teresa’s attacks against her children, who in her mind have never crossed the threshold into adulthood or something. “My children didn’t sign up for this. We put ourselves out there and have no idea.” Caroline insists, claiming they had never seen reality TV before joining the cast and were not prepared for the negativity.

Caroline also joined Melissa and Kathy Wakile for an interview with The Insider where they spoke about, what else – Teresa! Oh, and the upcoming Season 4 drama!

“Why should I feel sorry for someone who walks away from love?” Caroline asks, referring to castmate and never-really-friend Teresa. “You don’t have the right play the victim, when you’re the one doing all the hitting,” she admonished.

Describing her relationship with Teresa prior to the reunion and the explosive stripper-gate incident supposedly filmed the night before, Melissa expresses her shock over Teresa’s behavior. “I get very disappointed in her,” Melissa laments. “When we’re so good, why would you take that chance?”

“We were great, probably better than ever. And I owe a lot of that to Bravo” Melissa explains, claiming that the interaction required for the show brought them closer and helped a positive a more relationship develop.

As for the friendship between the other castmates, Melissa describes: “It’s just easy, there’s no insulting going on.” Caroline and Kathy echo those sentiments, claiming they are supportive of each other, not competitive, and they “help each other” by offering opportunity and support.

Melissa also spoke to Hollywood Life about the reunion and dealing with the sister-in-law from hell on national television. And she believes the other ladies did not gang up on Teresa!

“Everyone was upset with her,” she states. “We had an explosive night the day [before the reunion] — that was a lot of the reason for the bad blood that you saw,” Melissa reveals, refusing to give any more details about what may have happened.

“I felt the pressure she was going through,” Melissa mentions, claiming she tried to keep a low-profile since Teresa and Caroline were embroiled in so much animosity. “Obviously you saw the commotion between her and Caroline, so I didn’t want to sit there and her think that we were ganging up on her. That was not the intention at all. We’re not trying to team up on her. We are addressing the issue. That’s what the reunion is.”

Melissa also agreed that poor plagued by stripper-rumors, Jacqueline Laurita would not have been able to pull herself away from Twitter handle the reunion! “It was something that Teresa has done that Jacqueline does not agree with,” Melissa cites “She just wouldn’t be able to handle a nine-hour filming session.”

As for how Teresa could make amends with her family and her former (maybe never?) friends, Melissa thinks a simple apology will suffice. “We all do things wrong, we’re all not perfect; she just needs to be able to say ‘you know what, I’m sorry.’” Although Melissa confirms: family is family. “I’m always going to be here to support her and her children.”

My Thoughts: Caroline’s new-found relationship with Melissa and Kathy seems eerily similar to her prior fauxlationship with Teresa! And for someone who was merely an on-camera acquaintance she certainly played up the “like family/thick as thieves” angle in S2 and off camera in interviews and appearances. Which is interesting because Caroline emphatically states over and over that she does not lie. Now, I am 100 percent certain Bravo demanded their relationship seem authentic, but Caroline did a mighty good job of convincing us that it was! Also, Teresa’s reactions at the reunion seemed to indicate she believed they had an authentic relationship (although it’s hard to be sure with her).

Second of all Caroline’s children are adults and have been for the duration of filming. Therefore they did sign up for this show – they knowingly signed contracts, agreed to film, and were compensated for their involvement. Does that give Teresa the right to insult their ideas or behaviors in a cookbook for her own financial gain? No, of course not. But the Manzo children are not innocent by-standers in the situation. They insulted Teresa plenty this season and did not seem to have any qualms about their behaviors. The children who truly did not sign up for this show are those of the Gorgas, Giudices, and Lauritas (save for Ashlee).

THOUGHTS? DO YOU THINK THERE IS HOPE FOR TERESA RECONNECTING WITH HER FAMILY AND CASTMATES? DO YOU BELIEVE CAROLINE, KATHY, AND MELISSA HAVE A GENUINE RELATIONSHIP? ARE CAROLINE’S CHILDREN INNOCENT VICTIMS OR IS SHE OVER-REACTING?

Above is a photo of Bravo Housewives Alex McCord, NeNe Leakes, Melissa Gorga and Marysol Patton as they attended The Real Housewives Tour in Atlanta, GA, at the Cobb Energy Center, on October 16. The ladies walked the red carpet before taking to the stage and chatting with each other and audience members.

Below, Teresa Giudice photographed filming Celebrity Apprentice! Caroline Manzo steps out to support son Albie Manzo! And speaking of Albie, he stepped out with his new girlfriend! Kelly Bensimon is pictured with rapper Jay Z, Bethenny Frankel takes a walk with Baby Bryn, Taylor Armstrong tapes a new interview for Extra, plus more photos of Nene Leakes , Melissa Gorga & more!

Also below, Kim Kardashian, Snooki, Robert Kardashian, The Situation, Holly Madison, Kendra Wilkinson & more!

Photo credit: Dan Harr / Splash News

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Melissa and Joe Gorga at the Bravo Real Housewives Tour in Atlanta, GA, at the Cobb Energy Center on October 16. Credit: Dan Harr / Splash News

Nene Leakes at the Bravo Real Housewives Tour in Atlanta, GA, at the Cobb Energy Center on October 16. Credit: Dan Harr / Splash News

Former RHONY star Alex McCord at the Bravo Real Housewives Tour in Atlanta, GA, at the Cobb Energy Center on October 16. Alex replaced Jill Zarin who decided to drop out of the tour after Bravo fired her let her go. Credit: Dan Harr / Splash News

Kelly Bensimon arrives at the 18th Annual QVC “FFANY Shoes on Sale” Benefit for Breast Cancer Research and Education on October 13. Credit: Janet Mayer / PR Photos.

Kim Kardashian and pimpmomager Kris Jenner attended the Grand opening of Millions Of Milkshakes at the Dubai Mall, the largest shopping mall in the world Dubai, UAE on October 14. Credit: WENN.com

Former Playboy Playmate and reality TV star Kendra Wilkinson arrives at the Ivy to promote ‘Kendra’ Sydney, Australia on October 17. Credit: WENN.com

Holly Madison arrives at the Chateau Gardens Grand Opening Weekend 1st Night/Nick Cannon’s 31st Birthday & Holly Madison’s DVD Release Celebration on October 14. Credit: PRN / PR Photos.

Holly Madison closeup. Credit: PRN / PR Photos.

Taylor Armstrong made a rare public appearance at The Grove to film an appearance for the entertainment television news programme ‘Extra’ in Los Angeles, California on October 18. Credit: Josiah True/ WENN.com

Kyle Richards and her daughters Alexia and Portia attend a charity event at the Gavert Atelier hair salon in Beverly Hills in aid of breast cancer on October 14. Credit: Michael Wright/WENN.com

Kim Kardashian Arrives at the 2011 Angel Ball on October 17. Credit: Charles Norfleet / PR Photos.

A closeup of Kimmie and her 2,000 pounds of flawless makeup! Credit: Charles Norfleet / PR Photos.

Rob Kardashian Hosted the Evening at The Bank Nightclub in Las Vegas on October 14, 2011. Credit: PRN / PR Photos.

Jersey Shore’s resident instigator Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino Launched His New Self Designed Couture Pop at Sugar Factory Las Vegas on October 15, 2011 with his family: Linda Sorrentino, Frank Sorrentino, Melissa Sorrentino, and Marc Sorrentino. Credit: PRN / PR Photos

Caroline Manzo supports favorite son Albie Manzo, along with New Star Group, as they hosted the New Jersey launch of Tributo Tequila at the Chandelier Room at the W Hotel in Hoboken. Credit: Bergen.com (Photo by Robert Pytel)

Lauren Manzo, Albie Manzo, Lindsey A. (Albie’s girlfriend), and Caroline Manzo. (Photo by Robert Pytel)

Greg Bennett, Lauren Manzo, and Albie Manzo. (Photo by Robert Pytel)

Albie Manzo with new girlfriend Lindsey Andrews! (Photo by Robert Pytel)

Jersey Shore’s Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi cleans up nicely (well from the neck up) while at The Grove for an interview on ‘Extra’ in Los Angeles, California on October 17. Mandatory Credit: Michael Wright/WENN.com

DWTS’ Kristin Cavallari attended P.S. Arts’ 20th Anniversary Celebration hosted by David Yurman at Sunset Tower West Hollywood, California on October 18. Credit: Nikki Nelson / WENN.com

Bachelorette winner JP Rosenbaum and Bachelor Pad star Graham Bunn toasted with Tequila Maker, Inaki Orozco on his big move to NYC while celebrating Rizaul Tequlia’s 3rd Anniversary Party Held at Bryant Park Hotel’s Cellar Bar last Wednesday. Photo credit: Rob Loud.

Fired RHONY star Kelly Kra-kra Bensimon got chummy with rapper Jay Z! Care to caption Jay Z’s thoughts? The two were attending the Johnny Love Fashion Show in NYC at the Rivignton Hotel Penthouse on October 12. Credit: CelebrityVibe / Splash News

Bethenny Frankel with her adorable daughter Bryn walking around SoHo in NYC on October 18. Credit: Asadorian-Mejia/Splash News.

Teresa Giudice is seen here on the set of Celebrity Apprentice as she checked into the Trump International Hotel on October 12. She will be staying there with other cast members for the new ‘Celebrity Apprentice’ including George Takei, Arsenio Hall and Dee Snyder. Credit: Lawrence Schwartzwald.

In light of all the real-time drama of the past few days, I felt very sad watching last night’s episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey. Teresa, Kathy, The Joes, and Melissa all made-up and seemed to be working positively towards the future, but current drama lets us know it doesn’t last!

These women have sold their integrity and self-respect, and in the process destroyed their families and friendships for a small piece of fame and little bit of extra money. I hope it was worth it. And when no one remembers who they are, except for the fleeting memories of how they once appeared on our TV screens to embarrass themselves for amusement and some designer shoes; I hope the little bit of extra money they earned is at least enough to pay for their kids’ therapy. Lord knows, they’ll need it!

Full disclosure: I don’t believe Teresa set Melissa up. 1) I don’t believe she’s capable of masterminding something that involved. Or keeping it a secret long enough for it to pan out. 2) She seems to really love her brother. I do believe she wants a relationship with him at all costs. As to what happened, I suppose maybe time will tell, and maybe not.

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The episode begins at the tail end of the Kathy and Teresa fight about who is a worse mother, Teresa or … no one. Richie decides to be the bigger man and go talk to Joe Giudice. Joe admits Teresa is “hot-headed” and get’s riled up over nothing. Joe and Richie are completely fine two seconds later and having a normal conversation, as if their wives didn’t practically come to blows a few minutes earlier. Aaahhh… men. They’re kind of refreshing that way, they just snap at each other and move on.

Jacqueline and Chris decide to take a walk and escape the drama cesspool. They are very cute and lovey-dovey together. Jacqueline expresses her frustrations about dealing with Teresa’s family drama and doesn’t want to get involved. Chris agrees that she shouldn’t. After their heart-to-heart, Jacqueline gives him a piggy-back ride and he holds onto her boobs for stability.

The Manzo spawn and their Greggy go Guidice hunting. These full-grown adult men, who act like toddlers, hide outside the bathroom window waiting for Joe in the hopes of over-hearing something, I suppose? To be honest, I sort of tuned it out. Then they spy on Teresa through the bathroom window and wonder if she is pooping. Perhaps if they had jobs to occupy their time they wouldn’t be so wrapped up in houseWIVES drama. Perhaps…

Teresa changes swimsuits for dinner and is now wearing gold. Yes, that’s all. She dipped her boobs and crotch in 14k gold-plate and tied a curtain around her shoulders. Then she starts spinning around gleefully yelling: “I’m a goddess!” It’s straight out of a vintage Summer’s Eve douche commercial – which is ironic considering she is surrounded by douches in the form of her husband, the Manzo spawn, and Greggy. Then her husband actually calls her a “crazy bitch.” How charming. So charming in fact, he allegedly has TWO women that want him. Gross.

Jacs comes over to see how Teresa is doing following the argument with Kathy. Teresa wants to act like nothing happened, which is the problem according to Jacqueline. As Teresa approaches the dinner area she ignores Kathy and goes about her business. Kathy thinks Teresa is doing it on purpose and the Wakiles decide to go back to the hotel after dinner.

The rest of the gang go out to a bar, get wasted, see which incredibly short man is less short, pull their penises out, and get into a bar fight. Wait… a bar fight … yeah Bravo never aired it! After a fun evening, Teresa and Joe G-to-the-Orga make-up and hug and seem to in a great place. Shockingly Joe G-to-the-Iudice and Joe are also having fun together, and Giudice admits at the end of the day they’re family and he only hates Gorga sometimes. It was genuine and cute. I wish these family members got along, because I enjoy watching them have fun and hang out – not punch each other at christenings. How fun was the group hug?! Be fun, Jerseies!

The next morning, after a long hiatus from Teresa, The Caroline feels better, but warns us if Teresa doesn’t relax she will be having a lot of headaches. More headaches would be good, Caroline – go ahead with that – the less we see of you with poop in your pants, not having any fun, the better!

Melissa and Joe are doing something in the shower that should not be on TV. Meanwhile the Manzo boys, who seriously have an issue with spying on people in bathrooms that I am pretty sure is illegal in the good ol’ USA, barge into their hotel room and interrupt some husband and wife bonding. And of course, Joe Gorga had to show off the goods by offering us a teeny weeny peenie sighting. The only comment I have is: Joe Gorga wears a bandana in the shower?

Teresa and the ladies are off to the market, but The Caroline is confused about why Teresa is dressed for Malibu Barbie’s prom in a stripper ballgown. Oh, is stripper a bad word in this bunch? Whoops! Teresa reveals the shopping will actually be at a local outdoor market, because she is doing research for her Italian-Italian Fusion cookbook. Kathy wishes they were doing something with clubs instead, but she wouldn’t hit Teresa – not at all. Ok, was anyone else having a total Serial Mom moment during her confessional?

In the cars the respective, camps discuss the argument between Kathy and Teresa. Teresa insists she is over it, but Caroline informs her that she is not. Kathy and Melissa, after commenting on poverty from their Escalade limo, just don’t understand how Teresa can be so dumb. Join the club, ladies!

At the market, there are lots of dead carcasses, including one labeled: “Teresa’s Relationship With Her Family and Friends.” Teresa chases Jacqueline down the street with a raw chicken and Melissa has a nightmare when she gets blood on her Gucci’s. Teresa attempts to communicate about spices with the shopkeeper, and then resorts to yelling: “Does anybody speak English?” Nope, no one including, Teresa speaks English. Nor have they heard of her cookbook, Skinny Italian. Which was on the NYT Bestseller list, in case you didn’t know, and that makes her the authority on all things cooking.

While the ladies (and Greggy, who went along to protect his Kathy) explored Dominican culinary arts; the men go golfing, and by golfing I mean show off what a$$es they are – literally. Joe Giudice in a tanktop – put it away, drunkard.

Back at the hotel, Albie, Chris, and Greggy are talking the launch of BLK water over pre-dinner drinks. Albie is trying to sound like he has a real job and is a serious businessman instead of a law school drop-out, by expressing concern over being on vacation six days before a major event. Chris isn’t worried – drinks, anyone?

On the way into the restaurant, a strangely affectionate Joe Giudice kisses his wife and her bubbies. Getting along with people does wonders for his disposition. Kathy is still (yes, still) upset about her issue with Teresa. I guess she didn’t inherit the Gorga gene of freaking out and then forgetting about it 5 minutes later.

The Manzo spawn decide now is the perfect time to ruin a wonderful evening, by suggesting an impromptu Punta Princess Pagent. Jacqueline is annoyed that they are encouraging the competition between Melissa and Teresa. Teresa looks upset preemptively, as if she is expecting everyone to either vote Melissa the winner hands-down or take the opportunity to rag on her some more. Juicy, who is being very sweet, declares she is his Punta Princess no matter what.

Luckily the pageant is all in fun, and all the ladies get some props and then in the category of intellect, no one in this bunch can remember the VP of the United States. Seriously! Melissa votes for Dick Cheney, and wins for being the closest! She also gets a point for announcing that Egypt is in Antarctica. Richie was right – intellect is not a good category for this group.

On the final day of the trip, Teresa’s lost jewelry bag arrives and she is overjoyed! Finally her precious jewels have been returned to her. Kathy wonders if the plane ride home would be a good time to discuss her argument with Teresa, but Richie talks her out of it citing that Teresa’s screeching may cause the pilot to crash the plane! Melissa quips that now that Teresa and Joey are on good terms, she’s not really all that concerned with Kathy’s relationship with her cousin.

Besides – she has bigger things to worry about, like her big singing debut at the BLK Water launch! Especially since she can’t really sing … or dance.

When Melissa and her groupies (aka her sisters) tour the performance venue, she is a little disappointed to be starting her career in some rinky-dink club instead of Madison Square Gardens. And takes it out on the poor club event planners by being sort of snippy about all her demands. She’s a big star, you guys. Like, huge! So huge, her husband is planning to rent tigers to chain to the stage during her performance. Because not only is she a big star (huge), she’s also a tiger – her song says so! Was she seriously trying to make herself look as stupid as Teresa with unprofessional comments like that?

Melissa meets with her choreographer and the back-up dancers, who look disgusted to be dealing with such an amateur. Melissa is acting bitchy and unprofessional during rehearsal, and for an ex-stripper, she has no rhythm. Maybe that’s why she only worked there a few weeks!

At the club rehearsal – yikes… girl needs the AutoTune. Albie is scared about the launch after hearing Melissa live – well, perhaps that was your first poor business decision, Albie – hiring a musical act you’ve never heard! Melissa is over practice and needs to get to hair and make-up, much to dismay of her hubs, who thinks practicing is more important than hair.

At the launch, Chris Laurita is happy about the turn-out and impressed. It is Kathy’s first time seeing Teresa since Punta Cana and she believes Teresa thinks she won the battle, but wants her to know if you alienate people you lose. Caroline LOOKED TERRIBLE.

Teresa and Jacqueline talk about Ashley. Jacqueline, admits she keeps her mouth shut to avoid arguments. Backstage, Melissa is calling her performance half-assed and lamenting that you have to start somewhere. Before the show, she gets down on her knees and thanks Jesus and her father for the opportunity, while wearing her leather cat suit.

On stage, she was definitely lip-syncing, but the performance was pretty good with the addition of digital enhancements. Joe Gorga is very proud of her for pursuing her dreams. Also very sweet, was Juicy’s gracious and kind toast congratulating her! It was so nice! It was like the magnanimous old Joe and T had been returned to us from Season 1! Teresa and Melissa hug; hoping for a fresh start! Even Teresa’s little joke about Melissa’s cleavage being “On Display”, seemed like friendly teasing instead of a jab.

In the spirit of togetherness, Teresa apologizes to Kathy for the argument in Punta Cana as Rosie watches on to make sure no shenanigans occur! Kathy tells Teresa she is proud of her cookbook for bringing their family recipes to the world and acknowledges the problems have not been all Teresa’s fault. Teresa says she doesn’t want to hold grudges any more and everyone hugs – even Teresa and Richie! Oh, so sad that that’s not where things end!

Next week: Season Finale (finally!) Ashley gets tattoo, Richie threatens to break some sensitive areas, Caroline is back on the radio. The Gorgas take a family photo. And Teresa insults Caroline in her new book – and the root of the feud is emerging! Juicy (in the non-Joe, way of course)!

Watch What Happens Live: The Guests are Caroline and Simon Helberg from Big Bang Theory. The Drinking Game word is: Bang. Andy shows a clip of Teresa’s swimsuit modeling in Punta Cana and announces today will be the last day he airs the G to the Eeya modeling clip. *tear.

Simon is against Teresa in the feud. Viewers want to know what is going on with Jacs, Tre, and Melissa after last week’s Posche fashion show, but Caroline isn’t giving any information away! Oh and Jacs is fine. Andy probably forced Caroline to say that. Caroline reveals she saw Kim G and she thinks, Michael Lohan in the parking lot when she was getting coffee, but hasn’t seen Danielle!

Caroline also blames past-season’s Albie’s thinner hair on Adderall, but now that he is not taking the drug his hair is thicker. Hair plugs (ahem…) Caroline also refuses to reveal the current status of her relationship with Teresa, but calls the reunion “epic”. Simon plays Marry, Shag, Kill with the Jersey housewives and wants to marry Caroline, hate pound Teresa, no word on who’d he would off.

The game is Jersey’s Big Bang Query. Caroline is asked if she would rather bang Chris Christie or Jersey’s former governor, but she pleads the fifth because she doesn’t want to get in trouble… because of the drama with her hubby? She is a boring guest.

The poll Question: What Did you Think of Melissa’s Performance? Awful or Awesome? Melissa’s performance gets an Awesome… barely! Only 52%! Ooohh…not looking good for your future pop star status!

Next week’s guests will be Joe and Melissa Gorga oh and Jay Mohr! Again, Juicy (in a non-Joe way)!

Thoughts on the episode? Was it difficult for you to watch considering all the recent drama? Are you sad that the Gorgas and Giudices have not made up after seeing how much fun they all have together? Did Caroline annoy you on WWHL or was that just me?

Preparing for a luxurious 5-day kid-free stay in Punta Cana on Bravo’s dime, at The Gorga Marble Compound, Joe, after stuffing his children in a suitcase, begins personally inspecting all Melissa’s stripper bikinis by sniffing the crotch. In front of his mother-in-law and his children he is sniffing the crotch of his wife’s bathing suit while she dangles another hoochie mama confection in front of his face.

At the Giudice marble mansion, Teresa has raided the Victoria’s Secret Swimsuit Catalog from 1993 and is packing every sequined string bikini in the land. Melania takes this opportunity to assault and batter both her sisters. Um… where is Gabriella? Was she taken away by family services or something – I haven’t seen her all season. Maybe she’s already too embarrassed to be participating in this show. Joe promises to try and have a good time – Gia echos what we’re all thinking when she gives him a disbelieving look.

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The Caroline listens to Lauren prattle on about all the extraneous stuff she is bringing to try and compete with the Twin Bratz Dolls for most bedazzled everything. Caroline hopes everyone will realize how foolish they are being and this trip can bring out the happy again. Lauren makes a funny about Teresa and Melissa being eaten by sharks with all their shiny – oh, we could only be so lucky, Lauren!

Jacqueline is packing her “wishful thinking” bathing suit so she can prove to Melissa that she was once a MILF too. Poor Jacs is lamenting that she is too fat to fit into the fabulocity swimsuits of the tacky twins. Ashley will not be attending this trip (good – I’ve had enough of her this season!) because she was too lazy to get a passport photo. It was probably because they told her she couldn’t dye herself orange and wear droopy crocheted doilies on her head in the photo. Caroline snips that since Jacqueline can’t take the picture for Ashley it was never going to happen.

Kathy’s her mom is helping her pack tissue paper. Kathy is hopeful the trip will mend fences and Teresa will cease to be herself and get along with people. Kathy reflects on Gia’s song and explains that sometimes adults need a child’s innocence to open their eyes. She wants Teresa to recognize that not everything is about her.

And everyone is off with their leopard luggage in tow! Richie lets Joseph know he is excited about getting drunk. And file that under: “Awesome parental role modeling!” Joe G-to-the-Orga is excited about Sex. Lotsa Sex and Melissa promises to make him very happy while giving him, what I assume she thinks is sexy face. It’s not. It’s creepy face. Stop it. Teresa believes this trip will be like old times and Melissa just wants to move forward. Me too – I want a NEW STORYLINE! At the airport, everyone immediately starts drinking and Teresa discovers one of her leopard bags has been lost – the one with the shark food in it! Joey G-to-the-Orga promises that she can borrow his jewelry.

In the Escalade entourage to the hotel, it’s very sweet to see Teresa and Joey hanging out, acting like siblings again by bickering and teasing each other. They all seem excited to have a great trip and move forward. We want to see more of that Gorgadices! Joe G-to-the-Iudice asks the driver to pull over so he can take a leak. He is an anomaly in that beer makes him pee a lot, but unfortunately he can’t hold it like most normally functioning adults. Because you can take the trash out of Jersey, but you can’t take the trash out of Jersey; all the adult men on the trip hop out of the car to pee by the side of the road.

The Caroline explains they rented three villas and she and Albert took one for the team by agreeing to be stuck with the Giudices. But she wants a pay raise.

Walking into the hotel, Joe G-to-the-Iudice is at it again with the gay slurs. He and Richie need diversity training. Seriously, Bravo get on this. Joe refers to the Manzo boys as looking like “two butt budies.” Thankfully both Teresa and Melissa chastise him and defend the boys by explaining they are good brothers to each other, although Teresa warns everybody to wait until one of them gets married. Melissa believes Teresa has an angel and a devil on her shoulders and that she will try to listen to the angel this week instead of the darkside she generally follows.

When they get to the villas, the Gorgas and the Wakilies, who aren’t used to vacationing with Bravo are super impressed. Albert resigns himself to being stuck in the room next to the Juicys, who will be doing it like rabbits. Luckily for him, he is spared by a visit from Teresa’s Aunt Flo who puts the kibosh on the non-stop sexacapes!

Lauren and Albie fight for the single room and he loses – getting stuck with Christopher and his messitude. Where is Greggy? Oh, heeere he is! Thank goodness, I was wondering how I would make it through an episode without his witty, brilliant observations? #sarcasm. Lauren fetches drinks for the boys while Greg leans over his Evita balcony to address his people. He already has a Twitter to speak to his masses and frankly that’s more than enough!

In their respective villas, everyone is in agreement that things are going well – so far. Melissa thinks they should just move to Punta Cana where they all get along. I co-sign that – Andy can hire all new RHONJ! Kim G for the win! Joe agrees to try and get along with Teresa’s family if he respected, but then he starts threatening to hurt little Joey Gorga. The Caroline inwardly screams, while Teresa tries to pass it off as a joke. Back at the Gorga/Wakile villa, it’s Richie who isn’t feeling so optimistic about having a blissful vacation.

Teresa is getting ready for a day on the boat Albie and co. rented by hosting a bikini fashion show during breakfast! Caroline has a booming stripper-Barbie induced migraine and needs to stay home to recuperate before evil Caroline with a propensity for drunken, belligerent rampages emerges! Was she wearing clear bra straps?! Oh Caroline, if you can’t do strapless right, you don’t do strapless!

Luckily, there were other fashion monstrosities for me to scorn, as Teresa began her hooker fashion show. Here comes sequin mermaid, and then comes oh god, I don’t know tacky ocean blue, and then more sequins; all with horrid cover-ups and gold heels! I’m glad she was so excited. And confident. And I’m glad she has such bad taste so I can laugh at her! While Teresa obliviously prances out in what she classifies as swimwear, Lauren sits there bitter and on her period. Lauren is so Caroline’s daughter. They both inherited the cranky gene. Jacqueline is supportive, but wants Teresa’s ass, although she doesn’t want to buy one – she wants a real one. Well, there’s always exercise!

Greggy perpetuates the feud by insisting Teresa is worried about how good Melissa will look. When did the entire Manzo clan and their affiliates become so anti-Teresa? Melissa is dressed as a skanky tennis player. While her husband is getting a massage, she starts dancing for Tarzan who is up and excited for his hot wife. They are so disrespectful. Richie also makes an inappropriate boner comment, but Kathy is not having it.

As the gang at the GiuLaurManzo villa departs, they makes sure to be as loud as humanely possible and Lauren fawns over The Caroline, bemoaning being away from her mommy for three hours.

At the dock, a ridiculous Punta Princess photo-petition occurs with Melissa and Teresa doing their versions of Maxim Magazine poses. Bad versions. Kathy surprises me by looking classy as opposed to Melissa’s Rock of Love contestant get-up! Jacs feels like a double-stuffed Oreo in her mom suit next to the Tacky Twins, but Chris reassures that her she looks great. I love Chris. And then there is Juicy; wearing the bathing suit equivalent of a clown costume.

In the fat, depressed corner of the boat Lauren is sulking and decides to make a toast to her ailing and absent mother to start the day.

While on the boat Albie informs us he had cancer as a child and that explains the scar on his shoulder. And following that touching confession is a trashy MTV Spring Break dance-off between the Gorgas and Giudices. Teresa’s not competitive – she’s, like, super sexy! Albie introduces the Cuchracha drinking game, which consists of a toy cockroach and Tequila. Joe and Joe manage to find something they can bond over – drunken antics. Kathy doesn’t understand the Juicy thing, because she like us, thinks Joe is all dried up.

After downing Tequila, the Joes, Greggy, Chris, and Richie decide to have a cockfight. Joe G-to-the-Orga teases Joe that it’s always the guy with the little c*ck that wants to chickenfight, which Teresa takes offense to – Joe’s member is very active! Calling Melissa out, she reminds her that Joey talks about sexytimes allll day long. I mean, he’s a Gorga after all. I swear, they have TMI in their genetic code. Gorga wins the chickenfight and celebrates by mooning the entire viewing public. Thanks for that, Bravo.

Making up for his loss, Joe proves his Juicitude by doing push-ups with Greggy and Jacs on his back. The boat docks at the beach for dinner and Teresa is surprised Richie isn’t annoying her, yet! Albert tries to block out the horror of the day by CrackBerrying, but the horror has just begun!

While everyone is freshening up in the bathroom, Joe G-to-the-Orga decides its time for a little action of the sexual kind. Melissa TMI’s that Joe thinks the shop is open the whole time they are on vacation. And then they start going at it in the bathroom stall with Jacs washing her hands right outside the door! The Manzo spawn run to the window to penis gawk! Sadly it’s a wee little thing. Joe tries, in vain, to convince everyone they’ve got the wrong Joe. I am officially GROSSED OUT, BRAVO!

Meanwhile on the beach, Juicy, Albert, and Richie are talking opening a restaurant. Juicy is starting a restaurant that serves Teresa’s recipes. Albert is frustrated by the conversation, because he is sober (and rational); when he tries to insert some reason into the latest Juicy dream, like: How are you going to pay for this and do you realize how much time is involved in the restaurant business, Juicy is dismissive. Richie explains Joe will lose interest in the restaurant, just like he loses interest in everything. Like that Pizzeria he already sold.

Richie tells everyone about the catering business he and Kathy are starting and Kathy explains that a restaurant isn’t for her because she wouldn’t want to be detached from her children. Teresa is immediately offended and blows up; launching into a huge argument which all the sudden is about the Christening and how Audriana was left unattended in the stroller, where Kathy found her. Neither lady is willing to back down.

Greggy becomes offended that his beloved Kathy is being attacked. Get over yourself, Greggy – you’ve known these people like 5 minutes and you are now trying to get your 15-minutes.

Kathy acknowledges Teresa is a good mom and she wasn’t implying otherwise. Kathy is annoyed that Teresa always makes everything about her. Finally Joe Giudice, after getting the word from Chris, barges in like an ogre and ends the argument by screaming “Shut up!” at everyone. Then Joe and Teresa leave!

When Melissa and Joe G-to-the-Orga return from their quickie, Kathy is furious and lets Melissa know with a bug-eyed eye roll, crazy hand to the head, that Teresa is “cuckoo!,” and irrational. And that visual is priceless! Jacs and Chris looked so over it. Joey seeks solace in Albert, who tries to moderate by commiserating about what an awful situation it is; and then surprisingly explains Teresa’s perspective and wow – he is excellent at interpreting Teresa! Albie muses that he is so used to the drama, that he knows other people having this same conversation; except as Greg points out they are having it in third grade language.

Surprisingly, Teresa and Joe are using at least eighth grade speak to rehash the fight and Teresa decides, summarily, that she is DONE with Kathy. Again. Except they are stuck on an island together for the next four days. Oops.

Next Week: The fight continues. Kathy gives up hope on a relationship with Teresa. Joe, Melissa, Teresa make–up and hug. And Melissa performs. Get your earplugs ready!

Thoughts on the episode? Was Teresa out of line during the argument with Kathy? Who won this round of the Punta Cana Princess Competition? Melissa or Teresa?

Last night’s episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey was about forgiveness. Teresa and Joe work through the text-pocolypse and realize family includes their children, and perhaps it is time to put the petty bickering aside, but not before cheating their way a through a charity marathon! Oh, who am I kidding – last night’s episode was boooor-ring! It seemed to drag along for so long I couldn’t believe it was only on an hour! Maybe that’s because they talked about the same things for the thousandth time!

The episode begins Jacqueline and The Caroline talking fitness – they have big plans to “participate” in a 5K, because Caroline wants get in shape for Punta Cana – which is a week away. Nothing like last minute! Jacs is thinking she’ll just wear Spanx and work out for the trip by upping her tolerance sitting at home by guzzling wine. After exhausting the work out topic, they talk Teresa and The Caroline has a few snarky comments to make about that! Since they are talking about her, when they arrive at Jacqueline’s – who is there unannounced with her ears ringing, but Teresa wearing a pair of giant fur shoulders and heels for a snowstorm, but no coat! Caroline, who told us that while she may have lost 25lbs, she is still completely made of lasagna, tiramisu, and mozzarella, because she is in terrible shape. So, instead of exercising they sit in Jacqueline’s kitchen and eat while discussing the latest Gorgadice dramz. Well, if anything will drive you to dessert it’s hearing Teresa and Melissa out-screach at each other about stupid Joe nonsense.

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Teresa immediately tells Caroline and Jacqueline about the book signing and text war between Joe and Joe. The Caroline compares the Joes to high school girls and gives us ladies at home a little tip: “Real men don’t fight over text.” Got it! Describing the texts, it’s obvious Teresa didn’t see them all or she is completely fine with her husband threatening to break her brother’s jaw and wire it shut. To settle things, The Caroline, missing her heyday as local radio’s advice queen, demands Teresa call Melissa Right Now! Teresa gives Melissa a call on speaker to tell her they both should talk to their hubs so there is no drama at Melania’s upcoming birthday party. Almost immediately it descends into Melissa yelling! Despite the drama, Teresa believes everything will be just fine at Melania’s party… ’cause they’re fam-uh-lee and the looove each othr, riight!?

Since it is part of their Bravo contract to participate in a 5k run for an undisclosed charity (who is too embarrassed to be associated with this trash), Kathy and Richie, et al will be joining the pack. But unlike everyone else, Kathy plans to run and finish – oh and she actually looked up what the event is for: people with disabilities (who have no intention of tarnishing their image with Housewives). Jacqueline, on the other hand, put a zebra on her head and is planning to walk. Also, she has no idea what this charity is for… like people who ummm.. don’t have stuff, maybe? And since she is so lazy, she just wants Chris to write a check so she can go back to sleep. Maybe it was just too early in the morning or something, but that scene totes made me think “Like mother, like daughter” given Ashley’s propensity for laziness!

At Teresa’s they are running late, because Juicy and his scary manties can’t get out of bed (hungover?). Teresa has been up for hours running – to the bathroom! Because, of course, she has the runs. Teresa is worried about running with the runs and theorizes she’ll have to burst into random people’s houses during the race to demand toilet facilities. Ok, what is it with The Giudices… every time there is an important event one of them has diarrhea! Since Joe is completely unmotivated to wake up, Teresa gets him moving by sitting on his head with her diarrhea butt! Don’t worry – she was wearing pants, but still…

At Jacqueline’s while the Manzos and the Laurtias are in the middle of complaining about exercise, Chris Laurita receives a phone call from his buddy Juicy. And what is Juicy doing at 7 am, right before a 3 mile run? Making sausage and grabbing a bottle of wine! Breakfast of Champions – Juicy style! Did I mention it’s 7am and they are about to RUN A RACE FOR CHARITY?! You would think, because the Giudices can’t afford to write a check for the donation, they’d at least be willing to workout for it!

On their way to do something nice for those in need, the Spawn of The Caroline and the Mister, Greg (Why is he now a character on this show? Is it a rule now that every HW cast must include a “gay husband”?) spend the entire car ride theorizing about what Teresa’s next best seller will be titled. Walking Italian: The Charity-ish Way. Jealous Italian:Why I Hate My Sister-In-Law (I’d read that one!) Drunken Charity:How My Husband Gives Back. Stupid Italian. F*cking Italian: A Kama Sutra Guide for the Drunk Guido. Hey, what ever makes that bankrupt broad some money!

When everyone arrives at the race site a Joe on Joe stand-off occurs, with neither one of them acknowledging the other. Ok, that entire racing party was a cacophony of “What Not To Wear” What was Melissa’s fur thing? What was Caroline’s dumpy sweatsuit? What was on Jacs’ head! And Teresa’s leggins?! After the race starts, the on-task and really dedicated to charitable causes RHoNJ cast, realizes they haven’t even signed in yet. When they finally get their numbers, Teresa takes off – but it looks like she is going the wrong way! Isn’t that the perfect analogy for her life? Teresa isn’t worried about Team Juicy finishing, because Joe is apparently in good shape between the sheets (just no where else).

Proving she is really into getting in shape The Caroline, along with Melissa and Lauren drop out after 5 minutes since Caroline knows when she’s beat. Ummm…really? They can’t handle walking a 5k, which is like 3 miles!? These ladies walk around the mall 5 times a week buying designer shoes – which is probably farther than a 5k. I guess all the screaming and yelling they do has done nothing to improve their stamina – surprisingly!

Teresa and Kathy are taking one for the team – both of them are actually RUNNING! Even if they are competing against each other, at least they are doing something besides complaining and sitting on the sidelines inappropriately flirting with each other. What is that doing for charity, Greg and Joe G to the Orga? Melissa may have a point when she accused her hubs of liking the boyz. After hours and hours, the Juicys finally show up (search and rescue was apparently called) and Joe G to the Orga is cheering Teresa on as she sprints through the finish line third to last! And bringing up the rear is– Joe “The Juicy” Giudice, who immediately whips out the water wine for some hydration after an exhausting run. Good job Team Juicy!

Since they are both secretly fighting for Greg’s affections, Joe and Melissa pay a visit to the (un)bachelor pad of Hoboken; where all the girls come a ‘runnin to step and repeat on the faux red carpet and pet their Chiuaua in her hot pink life jacket. Christopher believes Greg lives vicariously through Melissa, ’cause he’s in love with Joey. When the Gorga’s arrive, Melissa whips out her new CD and asks the boys to give their opinion, since straight Italian guys living in a bachelor pad with a gay biffl is her target audience. And choking on their words, the Manzo boys pretend to like it. And suddenly our musically gifted housewife will be performing her soon-to-be-hit single at the launch of Black Water. Yeah, Bravo wasn’t involved in that machination at all. Not at all.

After torturing everyone with “On Display” our motley crew goes out on the town and as soon as they walk through the door, the club transforms into Joboken! Joe, wanting a better look at the hotties on the dance floor, hops up on Joe’s shoulders. Awwww… Greg has so many little friends – his doggy, Albie, his Guidorilla Joe. Greg who apparently will be attending the Punta Cano trip (what’s his job again?) will be accompanying Melissa bikini shopping for the trip so she can look better than Teresa, but Melissa’s not worried – she’s got it in the bag. Did I hear correctly that Joboken, at one point encourages Greg to fondle Melissa? And Melissa is rightfully annoyed by his overly sexual comments. But Joe just loves Melissa and wants to share the love – his wife is a beast (that is his idea of a compliment?). She is also like a tiger and he is a lion who attacked his wife and won. Good lord – I wonder what Shakespearean play he got that analogy from.

Meanwhile, in Franklin Lakes, Lauren and Vito are having a wild night of their own, pretending to be Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze in Ghost, except with cheese. Christopher calls their relationship of hanging out at his parent’s house and never going out his nightmare, which is funny because hanging out with a drunk Joe is my nightmare! Lauren and Vito have some sexytimes making homemade mozzarella and then after Lauren complains about her weight, they eat it. Ok, not to be rude, but didn’t Lauren cop out on finishing a three mile walk a couple of days ago?

From one wild event to another, it is the day of Queen Melania’s birthday and she and Teresa are fighting over the big crown. It’s not Melania’s fault – she just wants, what she wants! That child certainly has Teresa’s DNA. After poufy dress wars, Melania laces up her hightops with her fanciest lace confection and heads over to Joe’s pizza parlor for her fabulous 5^th birthday party! Teresa explains that while she spent thousands on parties in the past, ever since the bankruptcy she is saving by not spending money (isn’t that the very definition of saving?). Anyways, according to her: the love you put into a party shows how extravagant it is. I guess not where vow renewals are concerned! I also noticed while driving her Mercedes to the party Teresa was wearing her fur. Saving $$ my a$$!

Melania’s party actually looked really fun and perfect for a bunch of little kids – I loved watching Joe teach them to make pizzas! And I want a pizza cake! Kathy arrives with her family, and Teresa and Kath exchange genuine seeming hellos. Kathy and The Caroline talk Punto Cano and since The Caroline is being forced to she is getting her own cabana, and avoiding drama. Kathy looked really upset that Caroline was lumping her into the trashy Gorgadice mix. Proving he is truly a Gorga, Joe and Melissa are super late and Teresa is waiting to cut the cake until they arrive. When they finally get there, Joe G to the Iudice hightails it into the kitchen complaining he is “hot,”(hot-headed maybe) to avoid saying hello to them.

Avoiding Joe Giudice the festivities, Richie and Joe hang out outside with mysterious red plastic cups plotting knock out another of Juicy’s teeth to give him the complete Beverly Hillbilly’s make-over. Did anyone catch Richie calling Juicy a “maricon” (a gay slur in Spanish)? Classy. With the Joes ignoring each other, things are going fine and after cake, Gia sings a special song she wrote for her sister. Oh my gosh – So cute!!!!

Gia has another surprise: a song she wrote for her mom and her Tio Joe, lecturing them on how to behave like adults. Actually it was a really heart-felt song that made me tear up. Before she starts to sing Gia bursts into tears because she is so upset her family is not getting along. When she is finally able to get through the song, all the adults are spellbound and start to really re-evaluate their behavior. Kathy explains the kids sometimes have to teach the adults. Teresa and Joe G to the Orga hug and kiss and playfully bicker over who wonderful Gia takes after more (can I go with neither of those two nut jobs?) And most exciting of all: A Joe on Joe hug!! And Teresa even forgives her stalker, Richie, giving him a kiss! Fake it til you make it, Gorgadices!

Next week Punta Cana gets Jersified – the hoochie bikinis and the claws come out! Teresa and Kathy bicker til Joe can take no more!

TELL US – THOUGHTS ON THE RECAP & EPISODE? IS MELANIA IN NEED OF HER OWN SPIN-OFF SPOILED? WERE YOU SAD TO SEE GIA CRYING OVER THE FEUD?

A Chicago cop has filed a lawsuit against Teresa Giudice and Caroline Manzo and other members of the Real Housewives of New Jersey.

This all stems from the widely reported brawl that took place earlier this year when the RHONJ cast visited the Dominican Republic for a vacation which was being filmed for the Bravo hit show.

Adolfo Arreola (pictured above), an officer with the University of Illinois at Chicago’s police department, claims he suffered a broken arm, blurred vision, cuts and bruises after some members of the cast “savagely beat, kicked, punched, scratched, jumped” on him and smashed glass on his head, according to his lawsuit.

His cousin Jason A. Gomez (pictured below) also claims he suffered a broken leg and a torn MCL after he came to Adolfo’s defense.

In the lawsuit uncovered by the Chicago Tribune, Adolfo, 42, and his cousin allege that on the early morning of Feb. 23, they and their families were dancing and socializing at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino bar in Punta Cana when Teresa sprayed champagne on Adolfo’s mother-in-law and mocked the 53-year-old woman as she tried to wipe the alcohol from her eyes. They allege other cast members stood around her laughing at the incident.

Adolfo states that after that, he confronted Teresa, and was attacked by cast members that included her husband, Joe Giudice, and sons of Caroline – Albie and Chris Manzo. Bravo is named in the lawsuit as well as Albie & Chris’s roommate Gregory Bennett. The earlier reports that came out stated Joe was “beating on the guy” and struck a male patron with glass.

However, this is where things get a little tricky as Adolfo acknowledges in the lawsuit that two days after the encounter on Feb. 25, he and his cousin signed an agreement agreeing to drop the matter in exchange for $25,000 apiece as long as they agreed never to sue or talk about the incident publicly.

In fact, the cousins immediately paid $8,000 to their Dominican lawyer though they claim they never cashed their $17,000 cut. Adolfo and Jason are however now claiming they signed that agreement under duress so that they could get their passports back and leave the country. Their lawyer is asking a court to declare the release invalid. It’s not clear where the money came from but it might be safe to assume it came from Bravo. It was also reported a while back that the network had no plans to air any of the fight footage.

Adolfo claims he underwent surgery on his right arm and is now undergoing physical therapy. And as for those reports that stated he punched Teresa in the face, Adolfo denies those claims.

More pictures below of Adolfo and his cousin Jason’s injuries.

TELL US – THOUGHTS ON THE LAWSUIT? DO YOU THINK IT HAS ANY MERIT?

Adolfo Arreola

Adolfo’s cousin Jason A. Gomez