Albie Manzo

Meat & Cheese

Last night on Manzo’d With Children the Manzos and the Scalias traveled to Italy for a little conjoined family bonding. Almost-married Lauren Manzo got her Teresa Giudice on as she shopped beyond her means all throughout Sorrento. OK, well she mostly bought cheese – does that count? The Manzos are more dense and smothering than a pizza with extra cheese. 

Caroline Manzo justifies the trip as a great experience for Lauren and Vito Scalia to learn to fly on their own as Caroline and Al remain “waiting in the wings” – or first class rather. They upgraded, but left the rest of peons back in coach. “It’s a farewell to Lauren Manzo,” describes Ma Smothers, as she hunkers down with her popcorn to watch the disaster of Lauren Scalia unfold. Don’t worry mommy is always waiting in the wings (or the hallway) with a hamper to help scoop up the mess! 

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Manzo'd With Children - Albie & Chris With Pot

Last night on Manzo’d With Children Bravo’s bootleg version of Cheech & Chong traveled to Colorado for a “Cannabis Tour.” 

Businessman eccellenza Albie Manzo is marketing his grow-fast plant spray but business is “all about relationships.” Apparently spuriously calling pot growers from the phone in mommy’s craft room does not gain one customers. 

Therefore Albie heads to Colorado with No. 1 sidekick Christopher. If you, in your mind, were imagining escapades, prepare to be disappointed. There were neither debaucherous hi-jinks, actual drug use, or attractive men boys. 

Christopher envisioning that weed distributors are much like Tony Montana is bringing mace and a rape whistle. Albie tells Caroline not to worry: “If you ever want to see me get out of this house, this trip is my opportunity.” As Albie utters these ominous words, the beginning chords of The Beastie Boy’s ‘SABOTAGE’ starts playing in my head. Because… Newsflash! Caroline doesn’t ever want to see Albie leave her nest. Which is why he’s still eating off a monogrammed placemat and storing his sweaters in his childhood toy box. 

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Lauren Manzo's

Last night on Manzo’d With Children there were bachelorette shenanigans in Atlantic City, the less classy red-headed stepchild of Vegas. Apparently Adrienne Maloof is no longer doling out free passes to The Palms. 

With Lauren Manzo‘s wedding to the human lump of smothered ricotta known as Vito Scalia approaching, her bros without hoes Albie and Christopher decide they should be in charge of the “send-off” so they whisk Lauren away to Atlantic City for a “Snatchelor Party.” There they hide her away from Vito for the sanctity of family unity.

The idea for “Snatchelor” is hatched when Chris and Albie are excluded from Lauren’s official girls-only bachelorette. Hosted by Greggy Bennett. Naturally he has corralled a party bus to escort this fine delegation in style. Apparently L.A. does not hold all the fascinations of a Manzo fambly event. 

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Vito Scalia bathrobe

Last night’s Manzo’d With Children was brought to you by the letter V. V as in Vito Scalia, but also for “Vessel,” losing your Manzo Virginity, and Visiting the library. But mostly V is for Vito and all the ways he is passive aggressively trying to use his voice. (V is for Voice). 

Lauren Manzo‘s wedding will include 300 hundred people and 300 hundred Italian traditions, but only one corsage. Vito’s mom, Denise, comes over, pushing her dog in a stroller, to see where her son will be spending the rest of his remaining days. Lauren asks her if she wants a corsage at the wedding – of course she does! She’s the mother of the groom and that is an honor that must be signified. Caroline Manzo “wouldn’t be caught dead in a corsage.” She describes Vito’s mother as a “firecracker” and explains they’re different, yet the same.

Time for some standardized test prep! Different, but similar-style with Caroline and Denise.

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Reality TV Stars Shannon Beador

Our favorite reality TV stars cannot get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to social media to share even more of their lives with us. And we would not have it any other way. Here’s a roundup of some of our favorite snapshots and selfies from the week. Enjoy.

Real Housewives of Orange County star Shannon Beador shared, “David surprised me with an anniversary dinner where we got engaged! #thoughtful #lovehim”

Below you’ll find pics from Kim Kardashian, Vicki Gunvalson, Kenya Moore, Heather Thomson, Stassi Schroeder, Kyle Richards, and more.

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Lauren Manzo Bridal Shower

The countdown to Lauren Manzo‘s wedding is on. And it’s bridal shower day on Manzo’d With Children

Caroline Manzo is hosting Lauren’s shower at Casa de Smothers because no Manzo ever, like ever, leaves that house. Seriously it is the black hole of adulthood. Their family motto is probably “We Fail To Launch Here!”

Ever since Lauren first got a salami-scented whiff of Vito wafting from across Albie’s dorm room, Caroline has been buying vintage tea cups on Etsy. For whatever reason they’re hot glue gunning tea cups to saucers and hanging them from chandeliers and floating them across the pool in parasols to create a tea party theme. 110 people are attending. Dina Manzo was invited, but is in California. Sadly, the grinning face of Greggy Bennett will not be appearing. Or so we’re led to believe…

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Reality TV Stars Porsha Williams

Our favorite reality TV stars cannot get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to social media to share even more of their lives with us. And we would not have it any other way. Here’s a roundup of some of our favorite snapshots and selfies from this week. Enjoy.

Above: Real Housewives of Atlanta star Porsha Williams joked, “Oh just another day at work with a guy under my skirt! LMAO!”

Below you will find shots from Ramona Singer, Mariah Huq, Yolanda Foster, Caitlyn Jenner, Amber Portwood, Erika Jayne, Adam Levine, and more.

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Reality TV Stars NeNe Leakes and Giuliana Rancic

Our favorite reality TV stars cannot get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to social media to share even more of their lives with us. And we would not have it any other way. Here’s a roundup of some of our favorite snapshots and selfies from this week. Enjoy.

Above: Giuliana Rancic shared, “Having sooooo much fun with NeNe Leakes on Fashion Police.”

Below you will find pics from Lisa Rinna, Craig Conover, Bethenny Frankel, Khloe Kardashian, Yolanda Foster, Quad Webb-Lunceford, and more.

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