On last night's episode of Real Housewives of Orange County we met new girl Lydia McLaughlin. Lydia's kinda like Rainbow Bright on acid, isn't she? She also sort of looks like a Bratz doll. She was bringing all my 1990's childhood cartoon flashbacks to life with her little squeakerton voice and her goofball expressions. Whatever – I fully expect her to go SheRah Princess of Power on these bitches before the season's over. Watch it blondies!
Things begin, oh where did they begin? With all the bad dye jobs and bad plastic surgery blurring together sometimes I lose track of where things even started. And speaking of plastic surgery things began with Vicki Gunvalson and Alexis Bellino. She and Vicki are BFF now since everyone hates their significant others and what better way is there to bond, I s'pose? I mean it worked for Alexis and Gretchen Rossi for two seasons, so Vicki picked up where Gretchen participated in a gang intervention. And girls who share plastic surgeons together, stay together!
Bravo's original housewives franchise is back in full force, and the women of the O.C. are going to bring the drama without question. After saying she wouldn't be returning for this season,Alexis Bellino is back with a vengeance to confront her "bullies." I was convinced that she'd actually been fired, and was just saying she'd quit to save face. Even her husband Jim "the Chin" Bellino was vocal about how much he didn't want his wife onReal Housewives of Orange County.
Now that she's back, Alexis claims she didn't want her kids to think she succumbed to bullies. While I don't agree with how the ladies ganged up on Alexis last season, she needs to quit it with the bully talk. She's a woman who gets paid to be on a show that perpetuates drama. It irks me that Alexis keeps saying she was the victim of bullying because I think it takes away from people who are actually bullied. Let's be honest, Alexis loves being on television, plain and simple.
In her Bravo blog for the second episode Gretchen explains why she thinks Vicki is being fake and playing the Vick-tim card, and also lying about her relationship with Brooks Ayers to save face!
Gretchen shares that she's happy Vicki and Tamra are working on their friendship but what Tamra was saying to Vicki and about Vicki are two different things! acknowledges.
"Hearing them talk in the wine cellar was actually a surprise to me since Tamra had voiced such a different tune to me for the last nine months about Vicki," Gretchen remarks. "However I was glad to see they could talk and try to work through their issues."
Last night on Real Housewives of Orange County bad behavior along with Vicki Gunvalson's swollen face and insane hair continued to haunt us. She got allll that work done on her face and she couldn't throw in a keratin treatment to deep condition that straw weave she had attached to her head? Dyed-N-Fried.
With all the renovations and double-dealing and lies and dastardly deeds and attention seeking manipulation plots she was accused of, Vicki didn't have time to get her nose done AND her hair. To think all this time I thought she was just a neurotic insurance salesperson. No rest for the wicked, eh?
We resume at Heather Dubrow's glambake. Heather instructs Tamra Barney on how to eat a lobster. Of course since Tamra is saltier than lobster brine she has to make a sex joke out of Heather's instructions when she says to bite on the lobster leg until it "comes in your mouth." Tamra brays across the table like a donkey with a bullhorn about how FANCY PANTS MADE A SEX JOKE. Why doesn't she just wear a sign that says: 'I'm desperate for attention and have no manners!'
Discreetly Heather crosses Tamra's name off the future invites list. Vicki may look like a mutant person with the face of Bride of Frankenstein but at least she talks quietly and uses inside voices at Heather's!
Our favorite reality TV stars can’t get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to Twitter to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here’s a roundup of some of our favorite photos from the Twitterverse this week! Enjoy!
Above: Michael Strahan tweeted, "Thank u for coming on @KellyandMichael and showing us your moves Lisa Vanderpump. Good luck the rest of the season!!"
Alexis Bellino revealed that she and Jim have purchased yet another fabulous pad. The Real Housewives of Orange County gave Bravo a tour of the newest digs and went into detail about all the rare artifacts their home has. Rare means like rich.
Starting with the kitchen Alexis regales us with the tale of rare stone that makes up her island. She doesn't know what kind – we'll have to ask Jim. I'm guessing it's the kind he hauled out of the rock quarry on his four-wheeler. Another fabulous feature, the enormous chef's stove which Alexis needs cause she cooks "90% of the meals." She's the mom she reminds us.
We haven't met her yet, but Lydia McLaughlin will appear on the show next week as the fabulously rich Christian business woman and mother who is all Alexis Bellino wishes she could be. Shockingly Lydia is actually a friend of Alexis' and joined the show in part through that relationship. Well that just blows the lid of Heather Dubrow's theory that Alexis is searingly jealous of her lifestyle, amirite.
Lydia recently did an interview with U-T San Diego where she talked her decision to join the show, who she didn't really like, and what we can expect from her this season.