Oh Alexis Bellino… why? Why you do this to me? Who will be the burst of ridiculous in a sea of bitches who take themselves way, way too seriously? I blame Gretchen Hiss-tine Bootay for this! To commemorate one of my favorite delusional blondes with boobs as big as the Hollywood Hills I now present, Jesus Barbie: A Retrospective. Let’s recap some of Alexis’ greatest moments, shall we?
While her emerging fan base will be sad to see her go, the trampoline dynasty will surely be thrilled to hear the latest Real Housewives of Orange County news! Alexis Bellino has announced that she won't be returning next season…by her own choice.
Those last three words, for me, are hard to swallow, as I can't see Alexis, as nice and clueless as she may appear, stepping out of the limelight of her own accord. In the past season, Alexis became the brunt of most of the ladies' drama, although she did kind of shoot herself in the foot by acting so pretentious and holier than thou. But that's just me. At least she has a bounce kingdom to oversee…it's the small things, right?
I'm going to go out on a limb here, but I'm guessing that there will never be any love lost between Tamra Barney and Alexis Bellino from Real Housewives of Orange County. In the wake of the news that Tamra has snubbed another season of the Bravo hit to focus on her family (um, prioritize much, Alexis?), Tamra's acrylic French tip claws have come out in full force!
As we've reported, Alexis is sticking to her claims that Bravo is desperate for her to return for season 8, but she just can't continue to put herself in a situation where people question her fake engagement ring, rental home, outrageous news anchor claims, and her husband's chimplant. Er, I mean, she just doesn't want to be bullied anymore. I can't say I blame her there…Alexis certainly get the brunt of hatefulness from her cast mates for purportedly being phony. Fake or not though, no one deserves to be subjected to other's petty bad behavior.
We're not holding our breath, since she's been changing her story for months now. These "sources" tell Us Weekly, "Alexis was really tired of being bullied and chose home and family life over celebrity. She wanted to go back to her simple life in Orange County."
Now, there are so many different tabloid rumors swirling about the uber-wealthy housewife, from her crumbling friendships to her faltering empire to her headline-making divorce. Are things ever going to go back to normal for the woman I once considered to be too down-to-earth for the over-the-top franchise?
I can't. I just can't. The Real Housewives of Orange County may be the original housewives (although most aren't, in fact, wives), but sometimes they are also the most ridiculous. Let's take Gretchen Rossi, for example. She's not a wife–and with Slade Smiley as her beau she may never be one–but, like her counterparts, she loves to talk about whatever it takes to keep her in the spotlight.
For example, last week, Gretchen was yapping about how former best friend/current nemesis Alexis Bellinocopied her hairstyle…because that's news. This week, Gretchen is sharing with us her workout routine while applauding herself for overcoming bulimia. Wait…didn't Alexis say she struggled with bulimia growing up when the ladies took a quick trip to Texas during season six? Who is the copycat now, Gretch?
Today in the real life of eighth gradersAlexis Bellino decides to remove her extensions cut her hair short after years of Barbie locks and Gretchen Rossi insists Alexis is a copycat because she got a short haircut first! And everybody knows Gretchen is the only person in the history of the world who has ever gotten a haircut, right?! Nevermind that their hair cuts actually look nothing alike except for the blondeness. Minor details!
Alexis took to Facebook and Twitter to exclaim about her new bob and I think it looks absolutely adorable. ”The NEW me! I’m SO happy! I’ve wanted to do this cut for over a year and after last season nothing scares me! Ha!,” Alexis jubilantly wrote on her Facebook Page. A photo is below!
Sadly, because this is Real Housewives of Orange County no one can be happy for her and almost immediately Gretchen hopped on twitter to retweet a bunch of comments suggesting Alexis pulled a “single white female” and stole her hairstyle. But not Slave Smiley, right?
CLICK CONTINUE READING FOR PHOTOS OF ALEXIS’ SHORT HAIR!