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Amber Marchese

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You’ll never catch a Gotti in a lie, but you will catch an Aprea in one! Victoria Gotti has been under fire for starting a rumor about new Real Housewives Of New Jersey cast member Teresa Aprea‘s husband Rino sleeping with his mother-in-law. To prove she’s not making things up, Victoria voluntarily took a lie detector test on October 3rd! However, the most interesting twist of all is that Victoria claims it was a little birdie who coerced her into spilling the secret in the first place! #HurricaneJimStrikesAgain

According to the lore of Victoria, or in my mind the defacto law of New Jersey, TerESa’s husband Rino Aprea was telling tales that he hooked up with his MILF-y mother-in-law Santa and that is why he and Teressssssa divorced. Teresssssssa and sister Nicole Napolitano have been wishy-washy about denying the rumor, but finally came out and said it’s absolutely not true.

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teresa giudice does not think she owes teresa aprea an apology

Last night on Real Housewives Of New Jersey things returned to some familiar territory: everything is all Teresa Giudice‘s fault! Now, generally I agree that Teresa is to blame for pretty much all atrocities ever bestowed upon RHONJ (except for Jim Marchese, of course, that’s all Amber!), but I do fail to see how she is to blame for Victoria Gotti telling a salacious story about Teressssa Aprea‘s mother and husband.

Who exactly was Teresa gossiping about it to, again? Dina Manzo? I mean, if you’re gonna blame anyone, blame Rino – he’s the one who told the story to begin with! I guess everyone is afraid to blame Victoria!

Jacqueline Laurita is back and she’s hasn’t changed a bit – still bringing both the maturity and the class! She’s slurping wine through a straw and getting as my husband calls it “loadie” (drunkboots). So loadie she forgets how many kids she has… And we all know what happens when Cacklin’-Jacqueline gets tipsy: drunk lips, sink ships! Or in this case drunk lips, might mean mob hits. 

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amber-jim-marchese

Amber and Jim Marchese were Andy’s guests tonight on Watch What Happens LiveThe Real Housewives of New Jersey stars were candid about their first season on the show and Jim made us cringe three or four times.  Just another day with the Jersey crew….

Andy starts the show telling Jim he’s brave for coming.  Andy received thousands of tweets asking him to tell Jim that he’s a douchebag. Jim laughs, “I’m completely shocked, I have to be honest.”

Teresa Aprea in Florida

If you’ve had the displeasure of reading Amber Marchese‘s term papers about the Real Housewives of New Jersey, you know she blames Teresa Aprea and Dina Manzo for the drama in Florida.

Interestingly, Teresa claims she isn’t angry with Jim Marchese for throwing the cheating rumor in her face. He was just the “drunken messenger” she says.

Teresa‘s beef is with Teresa Giudice. She blames Teresa G for Victoria Gotti being on the show. And she feels Teresa should have showed compassion for her family after she heard the rumor

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Amber and Jim Marchese

Once again, Amber Marchese has a lot to say about the latest episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey. Their trip has come to an end, and while it didn’t even compare to scary island, there was no shortage of drunken drama. Amber continues to blame Teresa Aprea and Dina Manzo for every single thing that went bad in Florida. Amber also thinks Dina‘s jealous of her great marriage.

“Florida… let me start by reminding you I was there to celebrate being five years cancer free! Did I ever mention that I was diagnosed with breast cancer? Just in case you missed it. We had just had one hell of a scare and I wanted to go to Florida to celebrate,” Amber shares. “Jim wanted to celebrate also, but was not at all happy about my choice of venue, but as a good hubby, he came along.”

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Dina Manzo in Florida

Rejoice, Real Housewives of New Jersey fans! We have survived Florida!

I mean, I never saw it get scary island levels of crazy and I still have no idea why Dina Manzo needed therapy afterwards, but it is over. Can we move on now? Is it too much to ask for entertaining and free of the virus that is Jim Marchese?

Dina is ready to move on from the Florida trip too. She kept her blog short and sweet this week, poking fun at Amber Marchese for her victim complex and asking fans to send positive and warm thoughts to Joe and Teresa Giudice.

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amber marchese turns to smoking to deal with jim

Oh Florida – poor state victimized by Jersification at the hands of Real Housewives Of  New Jersey. They spewed their drama all over your pure Boca beaches and left nothing but the reeking wreckage of poison, Dunkin’ Donuts cups, purloined Virginia Slims, and deflated twins. 

Jim and Amber Marchese are holding the living room hostage and Bobby has finally emerged from the bathroom. What a good little trooper! Mommy wiped his tushy and he skulked downstairs to be polite. Bobby is afraid of a pissy Jimonster revealing his secrets – like that secret girlfriend he has stashed away! And Jim has seen photographic proof! 

Bobby denies it, then stomps back upstairs to hide in the bathroom. But not before yelling “Figaaarooooo” from the top of the stairs. Bobby the expression is, “It’s not over til the fat lady sings.” Unfortunately your IQ under 12 misinterpreted that as, “It’s not over until the stumpy guido bellows off-key.” Lucky for Bobby he has ever-desperate ever-loving Nicole Napolitano to hold down the fort from Hurricane Jim. She fails. Big time. 

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rhonj-jim-marchese-amber-marchese

Can I interest anyone in another riveting Real Housewives of New Jersey blog written by Amber Marchese? Of course I can! It’s been a while since we chatted about the Real Housewives of New Jersey, no? ;)

Amber took to her blog to walk us through her take on the drama that ensued in Florida. Basically nothing is Amber’s fault and nothing is Jim Marchese‘s fault. And Bobby Ciasulli is arrogant because he didn’t bow down and kiss Jim’s feet, Teresa Aprea is a nasty woman, and Dina Manzo is guilty of setting up a blood bath in Amber’s honor.

“This is a difficult blog for me to write, because it will be a lot of explaining Jim’s perspective as I was outside with Dina and trying to get Bobby to come out of the bathroom,” said Amber. “I can say, I wish that none of it happened and feel that it was a mistake to mix alcohol with friends that have so many unresolved issues. Jim does not think any of these people are my true friends and thought I was being set up plain and simple. And now seeing how Dina told the twins, his hunch was damn accurate.”

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