“Florida… let me start by reminding you I was there to celebrate being five years cancer free! Did I ever mention that I was diagnosed with breast cancer? Just in case you missed it. We had just had one hell of a scare and I wanted to go to Florida to celebrate,” Amber shares. “Jim wanted to celebrate also, but was not at all happy about my choice of venue, but as a good hubby, he came along.”
Dina is ready to move on from the Florida trip too. She kept her blog short and sweet this week, poking fun at Amber Marchesefor her victim complex and asking fans to send positive and warm thoughts to Joe and Teresa Giudice.
Oh Florida – poor state victimized by Jersification at the hands of Real Housewives Of New Jersey. They spewed their drama all over your pure Boca beaches and left nothing but the reeking wreckage of poison, Dunkin’ Donuts cups, purloined Virginia Slims, and deflated twins.
Jim and Amber Marchese are holding the living room hostage and Bobby has finally emerged from the bathroom. What a good little trooper! Mommy wiped his tushy and he skulked downstairs to be polite. Bobby is afraid of a pissy Jimonster revealing his secrets – like that secret girlfriend he has stashed away! And Jim has seen photographic proof!
Bobby denies it, then stomps back upstairs to hide in the bathroom. But not before yelling “Figaaarooooo” from the top of the stairs. Bobby the expression is, “It’s not over til the fat lady sings.” Unfortunately your IQ under 12 misinterpreted that as, “It’s not over until the stumpy guido bellows off-key.” Lucky for Bobby he has ever-desperate ever-loving Nicole Napolitano to hold down the fort from HurricaneJim. She fails. Big time.
Amber took to her blog to walk us through her take on the drama that ensued in Florida. Basically nothing is Amber’s fault and nothing is Jim Marchese‘s fault. And Bobby Ciasulli is arrogant because he didn’t bow down and kiss Jim’s feet, Teresa Aprea is a nasty woman, and Dina Manzo is guilty of setting up a blood bath in Amber’s honor.
“This is a difficult blog for me to write, because it will be a lot of explaining Jim’s perspective as I was outside with Dina and trying to get Bobby to come out of the bathroom,” said Amber. “I can say, I wish that none of it happened and feel that it was a mistake to mix alcohol with friends that have so many unresolved issues. Jim does not think any of these people are my true friends and thought I was being set up plain and simple. And now seeing how Dina told the twins, his hunch was damn accurate.”
Jim and Amber Marchese, seemed like they were joining their friends to mend fences and have a relaxing time in the warm embrace of Florida. But, from the moment they walked in the door, the s**t hit the fan, with Jim seemingly stirring the pot, much to his wife’s dismay.
“Have you ever heard of an empath? Well I am one of the many roaming the earth; I absorb feelings and emotions around me, and let me tell you, the range of emotions in this Boca house was off the charts,” explains Dina.
Last night Hurricane Jim hit the shores of Florida (well Boca anyway) and he destroyed all Real Housewives Of New Jersey stars in his wake. Teresa Giudice must have had advance notice that dirty secrets were going to be strewn far and wide which is why she stayed home to color pitchurs, mispronounce her own last name, and respond to texes.
Things started out innocently enough. The Florida division of the RHONJ ladies went swampin’ in their most appropriate of appropriate boat shoes: high heels. Those twins – they sure know how to work a look. #sarcasm On the gator farm, Dina Manzo meets her future pet soulmate: a tailless baby alligator whom she smuggles into her purse and clutches for zen-renity (zen serenity) throughout the night’s escapades.
It is well known that Dina is psychic she feels something is about to rock this boat. And Dina has a little inkling its last name is “Marchese” and it has to do with this little secret she was tasked with guarding and protecting. As the group was about to find out, the gators were the least dangerous thing they were to encounter in Florida.
Recalling the last two episodes, Nicole shared, “The scene that I found most annoying was Amber being so nosey and prying into Teresa Giudice‘s business. It was bad enough to bring the cameras into church on a solemn day to show how holy the Marcheses are (how Pharisaic), but then she leaves the church to make a phone call to Teresa Giudice. It was almost embarrassing how Amber could not take the hint that Teresa did NOT want to speak about it.”