According to the lore of Victoria, or in my mind the defacto law of New Jersey, TerESa’s husband RinoAprea was telling tales that he hooked up with his MILF-y mother-in-law Santa and that is why he and Teressssssa divorced. Teresssssssa and sister Nicole Napolitano have been wishy-washy about denying the rumor, but finally came out and said it’s absolutely not true.
Who exactly was Teresa gossiping about it to, again? Dina Manzo? I mean, if you’re gonna blame anyone, blame Rino – he’s the one who told the story to begin with! I guess everyone is afraid to blame Victoria!
Jacqueline Laurita is back and she’s hasn’t changed a bit – still bringing both the maturity and the class! She’s slurping wine through a straw and getting as my husband calls it “loadie” (drunkboots). So loadie she forgets how many kids she has… And we all know what happens when Cacklin’-Jacqueline gets tipsy: drunk lips, sink ships! Or in this case drunk lips, might mean mob hits.
“Florida… let me start by reminding you I was there to celebrate being five years cancer free! Did I ever mention that I was diagnosed with breast cancer? Just in case you missed it. We had just had one hell of a scare and I wanted to go to Florida to celebrate,” Amber shares. “Jim wanted to celebrate also, but was not at all happy about my choice of venue, but as a good hubby, he came along.”
Dina is ready to move on from the Florida trip too. She kept her blog short and sweet this week, poking fun at Amber Marchesefor her victim complex and asking fans to send positive and warm thoughts to Joe and Teresa Giudice.
Oh Florida – poor state victimized by Jersification at the hands of Real Housewives Of New Jersey. They spewed their drama all over your pure Boca beaches and left nothing but the reeking wreckage of poison, Dunkin’ Donuts cups, purloined Virginia Slims, and deflated twins.
Jim and Amber Marchese are holding the living room hostage and Bobby has finally emerged from the bathroom. What a good little trooper! Mommy wiped his tushy and he skulked downstairs to be polite. Bobby is afraid of a pissy Jimonster revealing his secrets – like that secret girlfriend he has stashed away! And Jim has seen photographic proof!
Bobby denies it, then stomps back upstairs to hide in the bathroom. But not before yelling “Figaaarooooo” from the top of the stairs. Bobby the expression is, “It’s not over til the fat lady sings.” Unfortunately your IQ under 12 misinterpreted that as, “It’s not over until the stumpy guido bellows off-key.” Lucky for Bobby he has ever-desperate ever-loving Nicole Napolitano to hold down the fort from HurricaneJim. She fails. Big time.
Amber took to her blog to walk us through her take on the drama that ensued in Florida. Basically nothing is Amber’s fault and nothing is Jim Marchese‘s fault. And Bobby Ciasulli is arrogant because he didn’t bow down and kiss Jim’s feet, Teresa Aprea is a nasty woman, and Dina Manzo is guilty of setting up a blood bath in Amber’s honor.
“This is a difficult blog for me to write, because it will be a lot of explaining Jim’s perspective as I was outside with Dina and trying to get Bobby to come out of the bathroom,” said Amber. “I can say, I wish that none of it happened and feel that it was a mistake to mix alcohol with friends that have so many unresolved issues. Jim does not think any of these people are my true friends and thought I was being set up plain and simple. And now seeing how Dina told the twins, his hunch was damn accurate.”