Since Jenelle Evans is the reigning train wreck on Teen Mom 2, someone needs to step up to the plate in the original franchise…especially with Amber Portwood stories at a lull due to her incarceration. Leave it to Farrah Abraham to take over the role as most idiotic Teen Mom. Speaking out about her recent DUI arrest (you know, the one where she blew nearly twice the legal limit!), Farrah wants to set the record straight about what happened. Clearly, it wasn't her fault.
Blaming her sister, mainly, and being sick, in part, Farrah wants everyone to believe she didn't do anything wrong. I'm actually insulted that she truly thinks that people will be dumb enough to buy into her ridiculous story. Add in the arrogance of seeking out a media outlet to spread her crap, and I'm totally befuddled by little Miss Farrah. Geez.
While Amber is serving a five year sentence in the slammer, Gary has been raising the pair's four-year-old daughter Leah in a 1,500 square foot house in Indiana. Unfortunately for Gary, he's been forgetting one tiny detail…rent! If he's short on cash, perhaps he should start wearing some tacky clothing line again, so the company will pay him to stop wearing it. Hey, it's worked before!
Sad news, Teen Mom fans. The whirlwind romance between Jenelle Evans and Courtland Rogers has come to an end. Last week, Jenelle gushed about their "perfect couple" status. "We are moving into our own house and are very happy about this decision," Jenelle boasted. "We get along great. We haven’t argued yet and have been living together for 2 weeks!”
Where did they go wrong? Let me count the ways…Jenelle hasn't said much… yet. It's only a matter of time before she famously over shares the details via Twitter, smoke signals, Sulia, messenger pigeons, Facebook, and her blog. For now, though, Jenelle simply wrote, "I'm single once again. I ended things and didn't think things were working out between me and Courtland. I rather not go into detail why but I'm happy with this decision."
The gossip blogs have started speculating on which ex the Teen Mom 2 star will rebound with – Kieffer Delp or Gary Head. How do you choose between two such upstanding men? First you have Kieffer, who is threatening to release a Jenelle and Kieffer sex tape. On Thursday, Kieffer tweeted, “When this vid comes out shes gonna cwy like the CRYBABY she is." Lovely. Then, there's Gary, the alleged abusive drug addict. Hopefully, Jenelle will take notice of the other (little) man in her life and rebound with (only) him. Note to Janelle: His name is Jace, and he calls you Mommy.
I braced myself for intense feelings of anger and/or sadness, turned on my TV, and listened as Dr. Drew Pinksy interviewed Amber. Behind bars. Much to my surprise, I actually found Amber to be likable. Possibly for the first time ever. I also came to respect her decision to enter prison.
Dr. Drew began the interview with, "You're not loaded?!" I giggled and cringed at the same time. "Nope, not loaded, but I feel a little bit nervous," Amber said.
To recap: Amber has been in prison for four months now. And in therapeutic community, which is like rehab in prison, for two months. Amber admitted she resisted the move into rehab. But they forced her, because she's in prison and doesn't get to make decisions. Dr. Drew asked, "Why prison?"
CLICK CONTINUE READING FOR THE REST OF THE INTERVIEW!
I know I can be overly snarky, and I realize that sometimes my sarcasm is too much. However, I am being dead serious when I say that someone needs to intervene with poor Leah Shirley. The precious toddler has been the rope that Teen Mom'sAmber Portwood and Gary Shirley use to play their crazy game of tug-of-war, and it's so depressing. I don't doubt they both love their daughter with everything they have, but seriously, this is just too much.
The newest news from this pair stems from a "behind bars" interview that Amber gave to Dr. Drew Pinsky as she serves time for parole violations in an Indiana penitentiary. I mean, is this man even a real doctor? I saw a few episodes of "Loveline" back in the day, but should someone who used to pal around with Adam Corolla really be giving advice to incarcerated teenage mothers? What genius at MTV thought this was a good idea? These sad people aren't characters or cash cows, but yet…Sorry. I will step down from my soapbox now.
Personally, I thought the series finale and Dr. Drew's reunion special (part oneandpart two) were send off enough. However, despite the inevitable spin offs to come, somebody (starts with a 'm' and rhymes with 'teevee') isn't ready to cut the cord.
MTV has announced three new Teen Mom specials. Perhaps the most unexpected one, though, is a half-hour interview with Amber titled Amber Behind Bars: An MTV Special set to air on October 9!
MTV's press release:
In this exclusive half-hour interview, Dr. Drew sits down with Amber Portwood inside the Rockville Correctional Facility for an intimate discussion about what life has been like behind bars, the status of her relationship with her daughter Leah, ex-boyfriend Gary, and her family, and her hopes for the future. As Amber reflects on her situation, she gives viewers an open, honest look inside the intense ups and downs she’s faced during this journey.
Part two brings us the rest of the original cast. Well, almost. Amber Portwood is still at summer camp. <wink, wink>
Maci and Ryan… Sitting in a Tree…
Before Dr. Drew obsesses about Maci Bookout andRyan Edwards living happily ever after, heasks Maci about college. She says, "I'm doing good now. After my first two years, I just realized how fast it was going by. I stopped making excuses. Aside from Bentley, that should be the most important thing." Maci adds she is done wasting her time and money. Also, she travels at least once a week to speak to teens about teen pregnancy.
When Dr. Drew glosses over Amber's absence, I know that this was taped a while back. I mean, "legal and personal issues" and "voluntary five-year prison term" aren't even in the same ballpark. If the "reunion show" isn't going to be taped in real time, I think it's kind of pointless.
Before we get into the meat and potatoes of the reunion, ha, who am I kidding? It's Dr. Drew. Let me start again.
Before we get into the limp lettuce and soggy potatoes of the reunion, Dr. Drew reminds us what happened this season on Teen Mom, as if it isn't already permanently burned into our brains. (I'll show you my scar tissue, if you show me yours.) Alas, the highlights…
Amber and Gary Shirley fight. Amber enters rehab after she threatens suicide. Rehab takes away Amber's fake eyelashes and spray tan but not her drugs. Amber goes home. Amber and Gary fight. Gary gets sole custody of Leah.