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Andy Cohen

On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, the ladies just couldn’t seem to get along and Brandi was again an outsider with only Adrienne and Taylor willing to be her friend – but only when no one else was looking! It kinda reminded me of Heathers! Watch your drink, Kyle!

Game night continues to rage on at Dana’s. Brandi tries to call a “Time-Out” but the Richards are in full attack mode, Winston Churchill be damned; they subscribe to Napoleonic tactics! Kyle is still upset Brandi let her son pee on Adrienne’s grass – ok, it’s tacky, but c’mon! Brandi is furious that Kyle is talking about her kids, but Kyle is actually talking about Brandi’s bad mothering!

Camille admits Kyle can be a B-I-T-C-H. Sick of the Richards’ superior attitude, a sniffling Brandi snaps that everyone else is trailer park and they’re Queens of England. Um…no, Kim redirects, only Brandi is trailer park! And Kyle’s not wearing a tiara! Duh! Well, I kinda think Kyle wears one at home when no one is looking, don’t you?

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Last night’s Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion from hell gave me stress-induced anxiety, like for real! I could not guzzle the wine fast enough! The rage was palpable and the ladies were down right dirty. This made RHONY’s reunion seem almost tolerable. Did I just type that?!

First of all, does anyone remember that notorious website Socialite Rank? Well, I wish we had a website devoted to Housewives Ranking, called of course, Housewives Rank, because if we did The Caroline and Teresa would be neck and neck for bottom of the heap after last night’s dreadful performance! Melissa had her moments of dirty as well, and for the most part Kathy kept her hands clean and imagined beautiful beaches and escape. Me too, Kath!

*Simple Disclaimer – I am a woman without a housewife – I play no favorites. I participate in equal opportunity snarking. All the ladies are ridiculous to a degree (yes, some more than others) and I like to spread the snark around!

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On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, the ladies went back in time to West Beverly High to relive their high school days of catty drama, cliques, and mean girls. Oh, I love a good time warp! The only thing missing was some killer acid wash jeans and a pouf bang!

Lisa and Ken are preparing for a dinner party to celebrate the return of Pandora and Jason from NYC. Lisa is cooking dinner (yes, it appeared that she was actually preparing food sans chef) whilst Ken assisted with the wine tasting. Lisa’s son Max got on the phone with his girlfriend and dropped an “I love you” leaving Lisa in a tailspin. While she is all but marching Pandora down the aisle, she isn’t sure about some other girl stepping on her toes where Max is concerned!

From domestic divas to people who don’t know what their microwave looks like, Taylor is making cookies from a box and needs Dana’s help. Both ladies don aprons and then poke at a bowl of unconvincing looking batter while lamenting about Adrienne’s BBQ where the notorious c-o-c-k incident occurred! Taylor mentions the upcoming “Game Night” she was supposed to host at her house but asks if Dana can take over since she has too many … issues going on. Event planner Dana is fine with hosting the big event, but will be outsourcing the planning cause she’s too busy. Keep in mind, Dana’s career is Event Planning and she supposedly has put on events like the Grammy’s.

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Well, finally – finally – we reached the season finale to the arduous, tortuous, never-ending season of Real Housewives of New Jersey. And it was kinda disappointing, no? Maybe cause we already knew what was happening real time.

Things start off with Melissa meeting with Teresa’s her stylist, because she is an over-the-hill wannabe pop star and over-the-hill wannabe pop stars need to look good! Really booby and trampy apparently = good. Melissa’s stylist, or is it Teresa’s stylist, suggests she wrap a scarf around her boobs and wear it as a shirt. Right. Let me get this straight: TWO WOMEN are paying this woman money to make them look like hookers and fighting over who she styles? There is some issue about how Teresa didn’t want her to also style Melissa. Maybe she wanted Melissa to actually look good?

While Terlissa’s stylist is there, Melissa gets a call from Teresa about the family photoshoot they are planning. Melissa claims this is the first family photo shoot she and Joe have been invited to and she is excited to put the past behind her and move forward. Why do I not believe her?

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On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, we met newbie Dana Wilkey who is very … well, ok she is tacky. Adrienne threw a Bar-B-Que for the ladies which also ended up being tacky thanks to Brandi – who is still having issues with Kyle. Lisa provided CNN with coverage of The Royal Wedding and Kim added to the speculation that she may have some substance abuse issues.

Kyle and Taylor are headed to Dana’s house for lunch. Dana and Taylor met while a nine-months pregnant Dana was driving a Lamborghini. Dana answers the door wearing a tiara. And a hooker pagent dress. Seriously, she looked like a busted up Miss America, with fake boobs up to her eyebrows. As Dolly Parton said: “It takes a lot of money to look this cheap!” Taylor describes Dana as liking things over the top. She seems nice, but desperate. And she gives me a grifter vibe. Maybe it’s her friendship with Taylorexic?

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Patti STanger
Is Patti Stanger having a nervous breakdown? Or maybe she is just totally nuts! Or maybe all the plastic surgery has been effecting her brain…

After making several homophobic comments and accusing gay men of being incapable of monogamy on Watch What Happens Live that resulted in a public apology and a chastising statement from Bravo, Patti did it again on The Joy Behar Show! Seriously!

This time the Millionaire Matchmaker (whose client base is probably invisible at this point!) insists, “Gays don’t have a lot of testosterone.”

“I’m talking about that they use both sides of their brain. Straight men only use one side,” Patti, the bio-geneticist continued, explaining how the gay brain works to Joy Behar. “Gay men are very bright, very handsome … they put themselves better together,” Patti asserts. “They dress good, they decorate, they clean, they cook.” Is that maybe a compliment? I’m not sure – I need someone to analyze how the Stanger brain works! Or, actually… maybe not!

Patti offered no excuse or apology for her behavior, nor has Bravo released a statement about this latest incident, but a friend of Patti’s told The Huffington Post, “She finally understands what she has done and instead of continuing to dig herself deeper [into] trouble, she has decided to flee to her family.”

“She’s going to hide out for a while but has learned her lesson,” according to the friend. “From now on she is going to try and be much more careful about what she says.” Well, it may be too late now, Patti!

Are Patti’s comments totally out of line or was she just trying to be funny? Should Patti’s show be canceled after all her insensitive comments?

In light of all the real-time drama of the past few days, I felt very sad watching last night’s episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey. Teresa, Kathy, The Joes, and Melissa all made-up and seemed to be working positively towards the future, but current drama lets us know it doesn’t last!

These women have sold their integrity and self-respect, and in the process destroyed their families and friendships for a small piece of fame and little bit of extra money. I hope it was worth it. And when no one remembers who they are, except for the fleeting memories of how they once appeared on our TV screens to embarrass themselves for amusement and some designer shoes; I hope the little bit of extra money they earned is at least enough to pay for their kids’ therapy. Lord knows, they’ll need it!

Full disclosure: I don’t believe Teresa set Melissa up. 1) I don’t believe she’s capable of masterminding something that involved. Or keeping it a secret long enough for it to pan out. 2) She seems to really love her brother. I do believe she wants a relationship with him at all costs. As to what happened, I suppose maybe time will tell, and maybe not.

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Following a stint on Watch What Happens Live that left host Andy Cohen visibly disgusted in response to her homophobic and anti-Semitic remarks, things are getting worse for former reality star Patti Stanger!

Now one of Patti’s former clients (who left the club after being dissatisfied with the service she received) is speaking out about the behind the scenes workings of The Millionaire Matchmaker. And surprise, surprise – Patti is just as abrasive off camera!

Bryce Gruber, who appeared on the show as a Millionairess in season four, shares her experience working with Patti and the club. According to Bryce, Patti (who is Jewish, herself) insulted the Jewish-American founder of The Luxury Spot.com, by telling her she looked “too Jewish.” Um… seriously?

“She mentioned several times that my curly hair was ‘too Jewish,’” Bryce continues. “And asked me why I didn’t get my nose fixed for my Bat Mitzvah.”

In addition to basically calling her unattractive, Patti described Bryce – who if you remember from the show was very reticent on her date – as “uptight” during her most recent appearance on WWHL.

And as for Bryce’s match – guess what?! It wasn’t successful! “She didn’t listen to me when I said what I wanted,” Bryce relays of Patti’s matchmaking skills. “She got upset with me when I said I didn’t like any of the men she picked and, off-camera, she pulled me aside and said, ‘If you want to look like a sweetheart to America, you’ll pick the teacher.’ She coerced me.” Wow! Patti is losing credibility (if she ever had any to begin with) by the minute!

Patti’s former assistant of eight years, Chelsea Autumn, is also giving her opinion about working with Patti! Chelsea, who left what she previously called the “claws of Stanger” in 2010 to start her own matchmaking service, Queen of Hearts, explains of Patti’s attitude and behavior: “I think she has a lot of deeper issues that she’s never really dealt with.”

And This isn’t the first time drama concerning Patti’s treatment of others is making headlines! Shortly after leaving the show, Chelsea’s rep gave a very harsh statement about the “constant abuse” associated with working with Patti, which was corroborated when TMZ featured a recorded conversation of Patti berating a stylist!

“I don’t think she loves herself, and if you don’t love yourself, no one else is going to be able to love you,” Chelsea describes, painting a sad picture of the woman who claims she can help anyone find love.

Are you shocked that Patti’s treatment of her clients is even worse behind the scenes?! Do you think Chelsea’s description of Patti is accurate or does she have an ulterior motive? Do you expect there to be another season of The Millionaire Matchmaker?

Photo Credit: Adrian Rand

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