Last night was the finale of everyone's favorite Big Ang. Ang opened her tanning salon and she bought her own engagement ring (courtesy of Neil), and it was fabulous! Thanks for not disappointing, VH1, and happy Labor Day weekend to all of our fabulous readers!
Ang and her chest go jewelry shopping. It's like her therapy. Ang has a giant gem stone she wants to have set. She tells Linda that she really wants an engagement ring…she and Neil got married so quickly that they had to forgo the rock. Of course, now Ang is all about trying on the most gigantic diamonds she can find. She finds a 15 karat canary diamond for a mere $750K. Since Neil is only a sanitation worker, she wonders how he'll ever afford it.
Last night we were treated to episodes of Big Ang! Christmas in August? I don’t mind if I do…
The first episode centered around Ang‘s birthday, and her husband Neil decided to celebrate her big day by having her face tattooed on his body. If that isn’t love, I honestly don’t know what is. We learn early on that while Ang loves that Neil and her son A.J. have such a strong relationship, Neil grates on her last nerve. She’s not impressed that he’ll be tatting himself as her birthday gift until she learns it will be a portrait of her. Ang decides she gets to pick the picture he’ll use. Well, duh.
It was a Big Ang birthday last night! Ang planned a surprise shindig for her sister Janine, but both she and pal Linda celebrate their big days during the same week.
Linda comes to visit Ang’s chest at the Drunken Monkey. Anthony arrives with his new motorcycle. Linda manages to make sitting on a motorcycle pornographic. Of course she does. Ang is terrified at the thought of riding a motorcycle…something tells me that is foreshadowing. Later, Ang has her friends over to enjoy some bubbly and a very dirty pool. Kilo is breathing all over Lil’ Jen. Ang hates shoveling leaves out of the water, and she decides she’s going to get herself a pool boy for her birthday. He can fill her champagne glass, massage her head, and fetch her towels. No mention of cleaning the pool though…
Last night’s Big Ang episode wasn’t as lighthearted as the show usually is. There were no jacuzzi spills or drunken bus rides. It was all about A.J.
Ang is beside herself that A.J. is at Riker’s Island for “allegedly” selling drugs. Until he makes bail, she’s watching his allergy ridden dog Kilo. His dog is named Kilo? Again, “allegedly” selling drugs. Perhaps A.J. is just a fan of measurement. Poor Kilo is shedding, and itching, and blind. Ang can’t wait for A.J. to come home and claim his dog.
After Ang threw financial caution to the wind on last week’s episode, I couldn’t wait to see what Big Ang had to offer last night! This show has been ebbing and flowing all season in my opinion. Fun times, boring times, over-the-top times, and more dull times. I love Ang, but I need more drama. Does anyone agree? Of course, I didn’t want said drama to be the arrest of her son A.J.
Ang’s house is finally getting furnished. She actually paid $5,000 to have her sofa upholstered in black patent leather. I can only imagine how sticky and noisy that will be for the people who are brave enough to sit on it. Comfy! As more furniture is brought in, her house is looking more and more like what I imagine a porn set would look like. Neil just watches in dismay as his wife barks orders. Ang is hoping that now that the house is complete, A.J. will want to move back home with her.
It was vacation time on last night’s Big Ang. For Ang, that means packing up her custom made bikinis and heading to Florida to party with her friends and “spend all the money.”
Ang invites Lil Jen and Linda over for breakfast and mimosas to plan their big to-do. Ang reveals that it’s tradition to get drunk the day before vacation so the plane ride won’t be as bad…don’t worry, they plan to get drunk on the plane as well. Later (but hopefully filmed earlier), Big Ang goes to get filler put in her face so she’ll be looking over the top for her trip to Florida. She isn’t thrilled when her dermatologist reminds her to be careful in the sun, and she’s also disappointed that she can’t come to get filler more frequently. Ang says she likes her plastic surgery regardless of whether she can afford it.
On last night’s Big Ang, we were treated to house parties and dog shows, with a little emergency care mixed in for good measure.
Ang takes Louis to be groomed. He is adorable, but he turns into a little gremlin when they put the hairdryer on him. He’s trying to bite people left and right. Ang needs Louis to be a beautiful pooch because she’s planning to enter him in a dog show.
Janine was able to get Ang her dream house, but moving and Big Ang don’t get along. Lil Jen is helping her get settled, but her stuff seems to be multiplying. As Jen says, Ang has enough furs to start a zoo.
Ang’s husband Neil is getting a third chance, as Ang allows him to move back into her house. He hopes his wife will welcome him home with a delicious dinner. Ang is too busy being stressed by the amount of boxes he’s unloading. She and her ginormous breasts tell Neil that third time has to be the charm or he’s done for good.
At her sister’s request, Ang goes to the cardiologist. She says a lot of stuff that I think warrants subtitles. I may have picked up on the fact that she has to monitor her stool at home, and Ang is appalled about having to place her poop (my word, not hers…duh) in the mail. I hope I’m wrong. She chats with her doctor and reveals that she’s there because someone mentioned that she looked like a heart attack waiting to happen. Her doctor explains that her check-up was fine, but she really needs to quit smoking. Judging on her voice alone, he can tell that she’s a longtime smoker. Ang gets a huge kick out of this revelation and rewards him with a raspy laugh. He warns her that a heart attack or cancer will be the least of her concerns if she doesn’t quit. I think he may want her to lay off the tanning as well until I remember it’s of the spray variety.