Last night’s show starts where last week’s left off, with Ang preparing to snap Renee’s neck. New Natalie DiDonato can’t believe she’s hanging out with a new and crazy group of women, but she’s kind of intrigued so she’s not going anywhere. Karen Gravano tries to wrangle Renee as she screams at a retreating Ang. Keep in mind that Ang isn’t fleeing because she’s fearful of Renee, but because she’s worried what she’ll do if she stays. It’s always a litmus test for insanity when Karen is the voice of reason. Poor Drita D’avanzo just wanted to have a nice party to promote her store.
Should the ladies of Mob Wives invest in some sort of vermin extermination business. They certainly hate rats would love nothing more than to get rid of all of them! Last night’s episode begins as Karen Gravano heads to Renee Graziano’s house and I’m terrified of Renee’s hat. The women are discussing Junior’s latest betrayal. Renee is appalled that her ex-husband has now turned in Big Ang’s cousin who may now face life in prison. She hates that she and AJ have to continue paying for Junior’s crimes. Even though she know Junior is a rat, Renee warns that her friends better not say as much as that is AJ’s father.
Speaking of rats, Drita D’Avanzo and Big Ang are ready to confront Natalie Guercio to find out once and for all if she’s a cop caller. At Nicole’s apartment, Drita and Ang are facing off against Natalie. Drita cuts right to the chase, and she tells Natalie about her encounter with Natalie 2.0. Both ladies are spitting mad about their hatred of rats. When Drita relays the story about Natalie allegedly calling the cops on her ex-boyfriend, Natalie admits to be a cop caller. She explains that the relationship was toxic, and she called the police when her ex got violent during a fight. Ang and Drita back track a bit, and they tell Natalie that being endangered is the only reason to call the police. Natalie wants new Natalie to say these rumors to her face. Drita agrees that it’s the best tactic. She’s season one Drita with all her big talk about punching people.
Wow. Last night’s Mob Wives was like something out of the cartoon movie The Secret of NIHM. Am I aging myself? Probably. But gracious! Both have a lot of rats! It begins with Big Ang and Renee Graziano hashing out their issues, but Ang has invited a surprise guest. It’s Darryl Hannah from Splash! Sure, she’s a little older and she’s wearing a suit, but the hair is the same! Renee tries to raise an eyebrow (damn, Botox!). She has no issues with Victoria Gotti, but the Gottis and Karen Gravano’s family have beef. Renee wonders why Ang would invite Victoria knowing that her loyalties lie with biffle Karen. Ang is hoping that Victoria and Renee’s past will make Renee listen to what she has to say. Immediately, Renee wants to know Victoria’s opinion on outsiders. “Hate ’em.” Check!
Renee feels like she may have an ally and tells Victoria that an slime ball outsider is slandering her all over the Twitterverse, yet Ang stays friends with her. Ang reminds Renee that she’s the one who brought Natalie Guercio into the group. Ang doesn’t have issues or drama with friends. In fact, Renee is the only one of her friends who consistently decides to hate people. It’s exhausting. Renee babbles on about loyalty, but Ang wonders why they can’t just be ladies and not gangsters. Victoria sees Renee’s point (Renee is so excited to think that Ang’s plan has backfired). Ang brings up the fact that Renee has disrespected her family and also called her a clown. Victoria reminds the women that they are closer than friends…they are family. She should get her own therapy themed reality show. I’m kidding, VH1! Don’t even!
The polls are closed and the votes are tallied in our First Annual Reality Tea Readers’ Choice Awards! Stay tuned today as we unveil the winners for each of the categories you voted in over the past two weeks. Some of the results might really surprise you!
Oh, the progression that is Mob Wives! The students have become the teachers. Just a few short seasons ago, some of these women were one bitch slap from an assault charge, and now those same ladies are the voices of reason. That’s growth, y’all!
As we return to the scene of the rat race, er, girl fight, Karen Gravano is shoulder checking Natalie Guercio into a brick wall. Kudos to Karen for an often under-utilized move! Next year, poor Big Ang will be celebrating the one year anniversary of the time that the bar’s seven year anniversary was one upped by a spandexed Natalie trying to assert her toughness. Bystanders quickly intervene, and Drita D’avanzo likens it to better than cable. Storm wonders why his girlfriend had to go after Natalie after London already admitted (and hugged it out regarding) all of her faults. At home, Drita is excited that things are going so well with Lee. While he still won’t appear on the show, they burn through their cell phone minutes. His girls adore having him home, and he’s happy to play tutor to his two daughters. Lee admits that it’s hard being on the outside, and the pair is working so much that it’s hard to make time together. He urges her to make plans for an upcoming date night.
First, my apologies for the tardiness of the Mob Wives recap. Someone forgot to set the season pass on her DVR. Second, holy craziness, y’all! They are going all out with the drama this season and we’re only two episodes. Wowsers.
Last night began with Karen Gravano in a music studion. No. Just no. Please tell me she’s not making a record! She reveals that she’s ready to move back to New York so she can be closer to Storm and that her daughter is ready to make the move with her. Renee Graziano stops in for a visit, and thankfully we learn that Karen is just listening to music…not making it. The women rant about Drita D’avanzo wanting to crack Renee’s skull because of a rumor started by Natalie Guercio that Renee didn’t even say! What’s worse? Natalie is total cop-caller. You gotta hate a cop caller! Karen reveals that Storm ran into Natalie’s boyfriend London at a night club, and they had a total man conversation about the girls’ drama. I imagine that’s close…I bet they ran into each other at a strip club, Storm bought London a shot, they dished about the rack on the dancing girl while playing a game of “My girlfriend’s crazier than your girlfriend.”
Over drinks, Natalie and London are rehashing Karen’s rat lifestyle. I am so glad I didn’t self-impose a drinking game with the road rat, because I’d be wasted after those fifteen seconds. London reminds Natalie that they are going to have to see these people given they’re on the same show, and he begs her to take the high road. He’s not bothered by Storm. Natalie talks a big game about how she isn’t scared of Karen, but she also used the phrase “beefin’ on social media” so I just can’t take her seriously.
I think someone is starting to realize that she may not be mean and scary enough to channel her inner cage fighter, which makes her not the best match for a reality show like Mob Wives. We’ve all seen last season’s spandex wearing newbie talk a big game, but Natalie Guercio doesn’t seem big on the face-to-face confrontations and physical altercations. Of course, that’s not a bad thing (dare I say it’s normal?), but it doesn’t mesh with the actions (and right hooks) of her counterparts.
Season five premiered on Wednesday, and Natalie, at least in the beginning, has seemingly aligned herself with the lovable Big Ang and the foul-mouthed, face crushing fighter with a heart of gold, Drita D’Avanzo. I do adore that pair! Of course, Renee Graziano, currently hating everyone except for Karen Gravano, is out for blood when it comes to Natalie. What does Natalie have to say about things?