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AshLee Frazier

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Bachelor fans, are you ready for the most amazing journey featuring one (hopefully shirtless) Sean Lowe and 26 (hopefully tipsy) Bachelorettes? As always, each lady is desperate to find love and most definitely there for the right reasons.

Chris Harrison is on hand, as well, to keep every single most dramatic rose ceremony running smoothly. Not on hand? Emily Maynard. She broke Sean's heart on the Bachelorette and, for the sake of my sanity, needs to stay far away from this season.

Sean has fully recovered from his heartbreak and is ready to try again on the Bachelor. Clearly, he's a fool. He says the idea of possibly meeting his future wife during this journey (drink up, my friends) is kind of exciting and kind of intimidating.

Sean adds, "I want the end result. I want to protect my woman. I want to love my woman. I want to honor her. I want to love her with everything I have, and I want to be the best possible man I can be for her. I want to be rich in love." 

Because ABC doesn't completely hate me, Arie Luyendyk, Jr. stops by Sean's pad to help him prepare for what is to come. Mr. Holy Hotness schools Sean on how to properly kiss a woman: Eye contact. Use your hands. Touch her hair. Touch her face. Tease her with your tongue. No lizard tongue. Use your  whole body. #coldshower

Curse you, Arie, for not signing up for this train wreck of a show solely for my entertainment.

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