Ashlee White

Princesses: Long Island continues to be a train wreck of epic proportions.

This week, Amanda Bertoncini and Joey Lauren hawk their "ticket to easy street" inventions, the Drink Hanky and Kissamint, and Ashlee White thinks she's adorable when she drops $5300 of her daddy's money on high heels.

Meanwhile, "independamint" Chanel Coco Omari "spontinuitly" decides that Erica Gimbel needs some "interventioning" and "inspirational magnet" Casey Cohen and her "B-Mercedes-W" agree to assist.

Huh? Exactly! Twitchy's above facial expression perfectly captures how I look and feel throughout each and every episode of this ridiculous show.

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Princesses: Long Island tells the same story every week. This week's Jewish husband finding adventure – with a side dish of Erica Gimbel was too hot to handle in high school – begins with Amanda Bertoncini and Chanel "Coco" Omari shopping for dresses for Ashlee White's upcoming 30th birthday bash. 

First, Chanel tells Amanda that ex-boyfriend Michael, who dumped her twice to hook up with his 19-year-old ex-girlfriend, is trying to weasel his way back into her life. Chanel vows to never let that happen again. Amanda tries on a tank top and pretends that is a "super hot" dress. Oy. She best not show too much vagina or her boyfriend will run away. Finally, the princesses try on a few more dresses and get "Coco Bootylicious" in the store.

While having her hair done for the party, Ashlee jokes about turning 30 while looking 4. HAHA. Can someone please explain to Ashlee that "too little to ride alone at Disney" does not equate "looks 4 years old"? She looks like she's pushing 40. Ashlee goes on to to brag about her "huge" party because she's annoying like that.

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This week on Princesses: Long Island, Chanel "Coco" Omari invites the princesses, including newcomer Casey Cohen, to the Hamptons to experience a traditional Shabbat dinner. Also, to search for husbands, because their wine-soaked ovaries are not getting any younger. 

But first, Amanda Bertoncini and Joey Lauren must kinda, sorta, not really deal with the fallout from last week's drunken pool party. Amanda's annoying voice opens the show, sharing, "A slap in the face heals but a harsh word is always remembered," adding, "I'm surprised that half the girls in Long Island don't have black eyes." #lifelessonsbybravo

So, Joey meets Amanda to talk about the Jeff/Sara/Facebook drama, and she kind of apologizes for, um, something. However, Joey refuses to accept any responsibility for the hurtful words that were said or the drinks that were thrown, and Amanda still believes that Joey should have at least asked her friend to leave the party. In the end, Amanda accepts Joey's apology, but she vows to keep her eye on her in the future. 

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Bravo sure does love a train wreck. I mean, what was THAT?!  

Princesses: Long Island follows six young (on paper) women from affluent areas of Long Island who "live pampered lifestyles in the comfort of their parents' homes and at the expense of their bank accounts." It's like a bizarre mix of Jersey Shore, Seinfeld, and Real Housewives of New Jersey. 

We meet Chanel (Coco) Omari, the headband loving social connector of the group, Erica Gimbel, the wild child who drinks too much, Ashlee White, the "if I can't wear stilettos, I can't go" character, Amanda Bertoncini, the one who met her creepy older boyfriend on a train, and Joey Lauren, the "poor" girl from the "ghetto" of Freeport.

Casey Cohen, the sixth princess, reportedly shows up next week. 

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