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Ashley Laurita

We are now onto the 12th episode of the Real Housewives of New Jersey, and while it wasn’t as good as next week’s episode will be, it was still very interesting to say the least.

There are two angles one can go with in doing this recap. One is we finally get to meet Tom Staub, the man behind the legend, you know the man who decided Danielle Staub was fit to be his wife and the mother of his children. The other angle is Teresa Giudice of course, who was one of the most searched people on the internet yesterday thanks to the news of the impending public auction of her home items, and her thirst for diamonds, you know considering this episode was taped just a few weeks after she signed off on the bankruptcy documents. Oh what the hey, I say let’s go with both angles!

The episode starts off with some precious family time with the Giudices as they do monopoly night. When Joe wasn’t busy threatening to kick one of his daughters, Teresa decides to bring up their upcoming 10th anniversary. Teresa can’t believe she and Joe have been married for 10 years because “it feels like 5.” Teresa asks the kids for anniversary gift ideas and one of their daughters suggests chocolate and flowers, but bankrupt Teresa makes it clear that’s not good enough. Joe has an even better suggestion, when he jokingly suggests the $100 luxury tax ring, before retracting it, joking saying that he couldn’t even afford that. Must say the financial jokes by Joe are very telling. Notice how they seemed to start just a few episodes ago? Teresa however makes it clear there will be no hanky panky for one month if Joe doesn’t come through, and I can’t help but wonder if Teresa can even go a week with no hanky panky from Jiucy Joe.

Danielle decides to meet up with her friend/party planner to plan a party for herself her daughter Christine‘s sweet 16. Danielle then lets us know she plans to make this a memorable party for herself Christine because she never had a birthday party “thrown to” her until she was 47-years-old. Really Danielle? Not even a party at 1? 10? 16? 18? 21? 30? 40? 45? Well since Danielle is not known to ever lie or exaggerate, I will go ahead and take her word for this.

Christine reveals her idea to donate all proceeds from her party to a charity and Dirty D decides this is a perfect moment to take credit for Christine’s idea because that’s her daughter and she gave birth to her. And I take a moment to ponder how Danielle’s daughters seem to have turned out amazing and well grounded in spite of their mother. Danielle asks Christine if she wants to invite her father and Christine answers yes. Danielle then lets us know that Tom hasn’t been the best father in the world to his daughters, and I can’t help but wonder if Danielle is being truthful about this, or just trying to paint her ex in a bad light out of vengeance, not that this is Danielle’s MO or anything.

Jacqueline and Caroline meet up and yet again Caroline is making perfect sense when she advises Jacqueline to distance herself from the three-faced Kim G. and focus on her daughter.

The Giudices and the Lauritas have a get together during which Joe, who looks rather stressed, ponders what to get his wife for their upcoming 10th anniversary. Joe mentions the 10-year gift has to be a “big one,” bankruptcy be damned. Teresa, who just signed off on bankruptcy papers to the debt of $11 mil a few weeks earlier, is then shown having a conversation with Jacqueline. “I love diamonds, diamonds and diamonds and diamonds,” says the bankrupt Teresa when asked what she wants for her anniversary by Jacqueline. And how genius are the show’s editors for choosing the oh so perfect background music for this ridiculous scene.

And it’s now that time of the show, when we get to see the hotness known as Albie Manzo. This time around, Albie is sporting a buzz cut, which might or might not be slightly taking away from his hotness, and we find out Albie has joined the police academy while waiting to get into a new law school. Must say it’s nice to see a Manzo with ambitions that go beyond the Brownstone.

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Apologies in advance for the poor embarrassing tragic photoshopping skills. With that being said, let’s get right to the recap of episode 11 of the Real Housewives of New Jersey, brilliantly titled – Staub Wounds.

The episode starts out with a scene of Teresa and hubby Juicy Joe, as they get the girls ready so Joe can take them out. For a minute there, I was touched at the thought of Joe being a good father to his little girls, well that is, until Teresa casually mentions that Joe threats their daughters like boys, you know because he hasn’t been able to get the son(s) he wants after 4 tries…

Things then take a disturbing turn when Joe makes his very young daugthers fight each other after their karate lesson. I just found this scene to be all kinds of wrong and disturbing. Nothing wrong with putting his daugthers in karate/taekwondo, but the making them fight each other was just wrong and icky to watch.

We move on to victim Danielle, who has decided the best way to protect her weave self is to take self defense classes, at the suggestion of her ex-con rumored bed buddy Danny, who spends the entire time standing back in ring glaring at Dirty D. Danielle of course is involving her two daugthers in her quest to be the ultimate fighter. Danny suggests Danielle picture Teresa and Jacqueline in front of her as a means to add more fuel to her fighting fire. The Bravo cameras then pan to Danielle’s daugther Christine, who looks pretty embarrassed and would probably rather be back home doing homework at this moment.

Danielle gives us her best dose of crazy during her 1 on 1 interview when she declares, “Walking away is not good enough for them. They want to make you feel like the prey. And then they sit there and they go, I don’t know why you keep you saying you’re the victim. Well Bitch cause I am. Stop effing chasing me!”

The former prostitution coke whore then declares, “It only takes one good smack to the head to make a person never walk again.”

We see Jacqueline at home, and Kim Granatell, who is arguably the most two faced person in the universe, decides to pay a visit. I’m just going to refer to Kim G. as the newest housewife from here on out. I don’t even think she’s auditioning anymore for a slot on the show, she has obviously replaced Dina. No need to wait for a press release from Bravo. So why exactly did Kim G. show up to Jacque’s? Well to stir up the drama pot of course! The two rehash the country club drama and Kim G. informs us clumps did indeed come out of Danielle’s head.

Next up, we see Mama Bear Caroline making individualized eggs for all three of her very adult children. Two of the kids leave to go to work and Caroline and Albie McHottie Manzo discuss his future. Albie informs his mom that he needs to get a recommendation letter from his old law school before he can get into a new school.

Teresa, who filed bankruptcy just a few weeks before this episode was filmed, is shown going into Kim DePaola’s boutique Posche to do some shopping, but then again Teresa is never really shown shopping, but rather talking during her time there. Teresa once again assures the world her house is absolutely not in foreclosure. Stalker Wannabe new housewife Kim G. then randomly shows up, wearing a very age inappropriate sleeveless fur attire. Teresa once again states that she meant well in trying to strike up a conversation with Danielle, despite admitting on last week’s episode of Watch What Happens that her intention was to confront Danielle on some of the rumors she was spreading about her.

Teresa then makes a funny, the funniest quote of the night actually, when she states, “The only thing I regret about that night was pushing Kim G. because she is an older woman and I do respect the elderly.” Hilarious, especially considering that it came from the very unintelligent Teresa. And how old is Kim G. by the way? She can’t be a day younger than 70 60, no?

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“Do not let her win this time. You win by doing nothing.” – Caroline Manzo (Episode 9)

“She got exactly what she wanted. She wanted everybody to say, ‘See, mean girls. You see the mean girls? You see what I have to deal with?’ And you gave it her.” – Caroline Manzo (Episode 10)

The fight club scene of the Real Housewives of New Jersey aired last night and it definitely lived up to the hype. Perhaps this episode was a gift from Bravo, you know, for putting us through one of the most boring seasons ever of a housewives franchise.

I started watching the episode just ready to feel sorry for Danielle. I mean I just knew I would end up feeling sorry for Danielle, who after all was going to be attacked, oops I mean assaulted, by Ashley Holmes, but within the first 10 minutes of watching the show, I quickly realized that would not be the case. The reason? Well you’re just going to have to read the recap :)

So the episode begins where Bravo left off 2 weeks ago, with the Danielle and Teresa conversation turned confrontation. I tried to give Teresa the benefit of the doubt two weeks ago, thinking she perhaps meant well in trying to talk to Danielle. But after watching the events that unfolded, it’s pretty clear Teresa’s intentions were to stir things up. Even Teresa herself admitted on WWH last night that Danielle had been going around town spreading rumors about her, and she intended to confront Danielle about those rumors.

The confrontation continues and evidently in New Jersey, Paterson to be exact, “Don’t call me honey,” are fighting words. Watching this scene made me see Teresa is a whole new different light. I always knew she wasn’t the brightest bulb of the bunch, but her behavior made her appear extremely immature and downright moronic. The excessive head twisting and “Don’t forget girlfriend, I’m from Paterson,” comment was beyond ridic! Is this woman serious? Surely she jests.

Things take a turn for the worse when Danielle uses the F word. In case you’re wondering, the F word stands for Foreclosure, at least when it comes to the housewives of Bravo. Danielle, perhaps referring to the foreclosure story that came out about the Giudices last year, tells Teresa her home is in foreclosure, and boy o boy, did she unleash the kraken! The truth foreclosure comment hit a major nerve with Teresa, and Danielle decides to start running for some odd reason. Really, why is Danielle running? Teresa, being the Paterson badass that she is decides to chase after Danielle.

Back to the foreclosure story. Danielle was actually correct, well sorta. A story came out last October stating Teresa and Joe’s home was in foreclosure. It however turned out the foreclosure was for a property they owned and not for their mansion. What’s even more interesting? Well according to police documents, this “fight scene” actually took place on November 11th. Just 2 weeks after Teresa and Joe filed for bankruptcy on October 29th. This might explain why Teresa went nuts with the comment. You know what they say, the truth hurts. This also makes me think the whole housewarming party took place sometime after the bankruptcy filing, yet before the Kim D fashion show, which if true, is quite unbelievable.

Now back to the show. I was certain I was going to feel sorry for Danielle because Teresa was the aggressor and instigator this go around. However, her over the top acting, antics, and just all around hysterics were extremely ridiculous. I mean seriously Danielle? When you think about it, there wasn’t a change in Danielle’s behavior and reaction before and after being attacked by Ashley. Teresa decides to pick an argument and that means she needed to take off running? I ask again, why was she running? She even had a bodyguard with her. Teresa and Jacqueline never touched her, so why the hysterics?

Well I’ll tell you why. Danielle is a perpetual victim who relishes in playing the victim role. Some people aim to be survivors while others accept the victim role, and get very comfortable in it. Danielle is the later. And speaking of roles, did you know Danielle has an acting background? Yes, years before embarking on a porn career, Danielle was an actress and even had a tiny role on the ABC soap – All My Children. Caroline said it best when she later told Teresa and Jacqueline, “She got exactly what she wanted. She wanted everybody to say, ‘See, mean girls. You see the mean girls? You see what I have to deal with?’ And you gave it her.”

The best part of the show comes in the form of the random blonde lady for yelling out, “This is such f*cking bullsh*t,” right into the cameras. Someone please get this woman a reality show asap!

Danielle is now outside and hysterically crying because having a co-star and former friend yell at you during an argument calls for hysterical crying. The third best part of the show comes when Kim G. tries to calm Danielle by yelling at her, “Calm down!” All that was missing from this scene was a calming slap across the face ala Airplane.

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More drama this week on the Real Housewives of New Jersey.

The episode starts off with Caroline Manzo auditioning two of her sisters to be Dina’s replacement. No, just kidding! But oddly enough, the two sisters look more like Dina than Caroline. Albie’s law school dilemma is brought up and Caroline shares she is at a crossroads in her life, as her kids are now getting older and getting ready to move out of the house. It seems Caroline, who has devoted her entire life to her kids and family, is now starting to realize it’s time to start stepping back on the mama bear role.

Teresa and Jacqueline meet up for lunch with Kim D. who does her best Kelly Bensimon impression when she utters a “Hiiiiii” as she walks in late. And did you know Kim D. and Kim G. are sister in laws? Yep I just found that out today. Definitely puts things into perspective. Teresa brings up a good point when she asks Kim D. if she can be trusted since she talks about Danielle behind her back, only to turn around and hang out with her. Kim D. invites the ladies to her fashion show and informs them Danielle will be in attendance. Jacqueline is hesitant to be in the same room with Dirty D (excellent nickname given to Danielle via our awesome commenters), while Teresa seems on-board.

Next up is New Jersey’s equivalent of Kelly Bensimon, except Danielle, even at her worst, still seems very sane in comparison to Kelly. Danielle shares she’s received text messages from 16 ex-cons people informing her that Kim D. has invited her enemies to the fashion show. Dirty D then storms into the Posche boutique and demands to see Kim D. Danielle immediately decides the front desk lady, Donna, isn’t bowing down to her, thus causing her to storm out of the store. Danielle proceeds to once again involve her young daughter in her adult issues via a phone call. Danielle then decides to head back into the store and commands Donna to have Kim D. give her a call. Donna has the best reply as Danielle storms out again: “Didn’t catch your name.” The only thing missing from this scene was Danielle screaming out a ‘Don’t you know who I am!’

Kim D. returns to the store and calls Danielle, who accuses Donna of being rude to her and putting up her finger at her. I went back to watch the footage and at no point did I see Donna raise a finger at Danielle. Dirty D then proceeds to return to the store to stir up some more drama. When Kim D. doesn’t bow down to her, she threatens to stop shopping at Kim D’s store because it would “ruin” their friendship. Perhaps someone should inform Danielle the only reason Kim considers her a friend is because of her wallet. Kim D. realizes she no longer has to pretend to be Danielle’s friend, you know since Danielle is no longer a paying customer, and politely kicks her out of the store.

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With the departure of Dina Manzo, life goes on for the Real Housewives of New Jersey.

We start off this episode with an awkward dinner or lunch or something between Caroline, Teresa and Jacqueline. The ladies discuss Dina’s exit from the show and of course Danielle’s name is brought up in the conversation. The only part that stands out in this scene is when Caroline says, “I feel so bad for Dina. She’s going through so much.” Come again Caroline? Dina’s going through so much? Like what exactly? As we the viewers haven’t been privy to any of Dina’s problems, infact we have been led to believe Dina’s life was all unicorns, lollipops and rainbows with the exception of the Danielle drama.

I thought Caroline’s comment was interesting to say the least. Reason #192 by the NJ cast sucks? Well thanks to the ladies focusing on the Danielle drama so much, we don’t get to hear about or see their own personal issues and drama. The ladies decide they need to watch out for Danielle because “she’s capable of anything,” and the dinner/lunch/brunch or something scene ends.

Next up is Danielle‘s visit with a plastic surgeon. Was I the only one who noticed some lights were out on the sign for the plastic surgery office? Not sure that I would be putting my life on the line in what looks like a motel reject but Danielle is more than ready to fix her wonky tits, so she will take the chance! And thanks to the now infamous sex tape she made before this revision surgery, we can all affirm her boobs were indeed deformed.

Danielle then once again breaks out her her boo hoo story about feeling so undesirable due to her wonky tits, and I can imagine a good percentage of viewers are rolling their eyes at this point.

We then get to see Lauren Manzo doing makeup at her makeup school, and overbearing mama Caroline of course pays her daughter a visit. Don’t get me wrong, Caroline seems like a great mother, but she just appears to be way too involved in the lives of her children. It appears she has nothing else going on in her life other than her children and family. At this stage in her kids’ lives, it might be time for Caroline to began pulling back, and perhaps work on finding a hobby that doesn’t involve her children. Someone commented a while back, saying they already feel bad for Caroline’s future daughter-in-laws, and can’t say I disagree.

Ashley decides to pay her parents a visit and apologizes for her bratty behavior at the poker game. Ashley informs her parents she wants to come back home, which I think is great, because she had no business living on her own to begin with. She simply lacks the maturity needed to make it on her own at this point in her life.

Next up is Teresa and she informs us she is having a housewarming party for her new home. We finally get to meet nutty party planner Elvira Grau, who immediately scolds Teresa for not having help or a pool for that matter. Something about Teresa was off this episode. She just seemed a bit more laid back and more quiet. I’m guessing this was filmed at the peak of her financial problems. When you think about it, Danielle made her sex tape in September 2009, before her visit with the plastic surgeon in this episode. Teresa filed for bankruptcy in October 2009, meaning this episode was definitely filmed right before or right after the bankruptcy filing.

Back to the show, Teresa and Elvira have an interesting exchange.

Elvira- Why don’t you have a pool?

Teresa - (Awkward pause) Because I have a beach house. (Quick thinking there Teresa!)

Elvira - I have a beach house, I have a pool.

Elvira once again scolds Teresa for not having help, and at this point it’s pretty obvious Kim D. and Kim G. are not the only ones auditioning for Bravo. It however seems Elvira has her sights set on something bigger than just the Housewives’ franchise. The annoying, rude and overbearing party planner is aiming for her own Bravo spin off!

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There’s a lot to report on the Real Housewives of New Jersey, plus the preview of tonight’s new episode, so we will get right to it.

While Bravo housewives are notorious for being indulgent, this week’s episode goes to show just how much they love to pose entertain. As Teresa Giudice, who’s $11 million bankruptcy filing was recently unveiled, decides to break in her new home by hiring a party planner to throw a housewarming party. And yes, this is the same home that was briefly put on the market a week ago and is rumored will soon be in foreclosure.

The over the top party will include an extravagant red carpet and fire eaters. Clearly, excess is not an issue in the Garden State. Meanwhile Caroline must face the fact that her son Albie Manzo might get kicked out of law school due to bad grades. The new episode airs tonight at 10/9c.

Dina Getting Replaced? – This has been all the buzz this weekend, when rumors hit that Elvira Grau (pictured above – what is she wearing?), who happens to be Teresa’s party planner on tonight’s episode, would be replacing Dina Manzo for the remainder of the season. The Dish Rag however shuts down the rumors, even saying there will be no replacement for Dina this season. What a bummer. I guess the women vs. Danielle drama will continue to be the main plot for the show. Bravo really dropped the ball with this one. It would have been perfect timing to introduce a new housewife, and change things up.

Danielle Stalking Ashley? – Those are the claims of Ashley Holmes, daughter of Jacqueline Laurita. Ashley tweeted the following this weekend:

“just found out that @daniellestaub came by my work yesterday “looking for me”.. WTF.. what a crazy STALKER !! GO AWAY!! & get a life.”

Judging from Danielle Staub‘s actions this season, this doesn’t come as a surprise. Ashley also tweeted that the sex tape queen must not be struggling anymore since her bill from Ashley’s workplace came to $500. Ashley added, “how are you liking your new condo at ‘The Watermark on Hudson’ ?..where does a struggling single mom get all that money?”

A quick look at The Watermark condos show condos ranging in price from $800,000 to $3,100,000. If true, then it’s safe to say her sex tape is doing well on the market. Good to see selling her soul sex tape is paying off financially. Let’s all hope Danielle saves some of the sex tape dough for the therapy she badly needs.

TELL US – WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THESE STORIES AND TONIGHT’S NEW EPISODE?

Tonight marks an all new episode of the Real Housewives of New Jersey, and as Bravo promises, we will see one of the NJ housewives leave the show for-ever! (cue up dramatic music).

So what else can we expect tonight? Just after Ashley moves back home, the drama starts back up with mom Jacqueline.  While the guys try to enjoy a relaxing poker night, Ashley refuses to speak with her mother.  Danielle’s sex tape drama will also be brought up in tonight’s show.  You know, that other sex tape involving her and her ex Steve Zalewski, who will be appearing once again on tonight’s show.

Teresa Takes Home Off The Market – In other NJ news, just 24 hours after her home appeared for sale on multiple Realtor websites, Teresa Giudice tweeted to her fans that her home was “NOT FOR SALE.”  Surely enough, the listing for Teresa’s home was yanked off these websites. So what gives? Well no one knows, perhaps Teresa and hubby Joe received some more “assistance” from their family members who reportedly supply them with $10,000 a month.

One of our smart readers however pointed out that “a broker is not going to place a property in the MLS, without a listing agreement from the seller,” meaning Teresa and her hubby had to have signed off the listing.


Danielle’s Sex Tape Comes Out Today -  Today is the release date of the infamous sex tape no one wanted to see.  Danielle is described as being the “horniest housewife.”  It will be interesting to see how Danielle’s tape fares on the market considering most of the housewives’ fan base consists of women.  Dina Manzo also did a new interview during which she had some harsh words for Danielle. “This doesn’t shock me,” Dina said.  “I feel horrible for her kids. Horrible. I wanted to start a ‘save Jillian campaign.’ The younger daughter, her face just breaks my heart.”

Dina then goes on to make a good point when she says, “Everything a parent does, they should think of their children first. I know that’s what I do.”

Danielle’s Home On The Market – Danielle’s home has been listed for the price of $1.095 million.  According to the listing, it was ordered by the courts due to Danielle’s divorce settlement.  Once the sale is done, Danielle and her ex-husband Tom Staub, will split the proceeds.

Who’s Leaving The Show? -  This shouldn’t be a spoiler as multiple media outlets have reported Dina Manzo will be the exiting housewife.  However neither Bravo nor Dina has yet to confirm this news.  Dina will also be appearing on Watch What Happens tonight, alongside Ramona Singer.

TELL US – WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THESE STORIES AND TONIGHT’S NEW EPISODE?

Danielle StaubJacqueline Laurita

The second season of The Real Housewives of New Jersey has been filming for months and the drama has apparently been brewing.

Danielle Staub recently went to court in an attempt to get Ashley Holmes, the 19 year old daughter of co-star Jacqueline Laurita, arrested for pulling out her hair extensions during filming last month.

According to NJ.com, Danielle also wants to file charges against Jacqueline, her one-time close friend but with whom she had a falling-out with towards the end of last season. Danielle claims that she had gotten into an argument with Jacqueline, during which Jacqueline’s teenaged daughter Ashley pulled her hair and ripped out clumps of her hair extensions. All of this is revealed in a filed police report.

Ashley confessed to pulling Danielle’s hair but claimed she did it because she thought Danielle hit her mother. Jacqueline denied being hit by Danielle according to the same police report. The report also reveals Police found Danielle “very emotional and rather incoherent” but she wouldn’t file a report. They told her that she could file a simple assault complaint.

Danielle was back in court Thursday afternoon for an hearing that will decide whether or not she can file charges. Teresa Giudice is also said to have been present during the fight, but did not get involved.

UPDATE: Danielle dropped her complaints against Teresa and Jaqueline in court on Thursday. However, the judge issued a summons against Ashley Holmes on charges of harassment and simple assault, both disorderly persons offenses. Ashley was not present in court.

A photo of Ashley is below —

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