Austen Kroll

WATCH WHAT HAPPENS LIVE WITH ANDY COHEN -- Episode 14073 -- Pictured: (l-r) Andy Cohen, Patricia Altschul, Kelly Osbourne -- (Photo by: Charles Sykes/Bravo)

I have no idea why Patricia Altschul isn’t the narrator on Southern Charm, but she really should be. She knows everything about everyone and she has no issue telling it like it is, especially when it comes to her own son Whitney Sudler-Smith.

That’s why I was so happy when she stopped by the Bravo club house to talk Southern Charm with Andy Cohen and throw shade at just about everyone from the cast. I don’t agree with everything she said, but I love her for sharing her truth while she was wearing a caftan with photos of her dog on it. There’s no way that I couldn’t appreciate a person rocking that outfit.

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chelsea

Is it just me, or is this season of Southern Charm getting off to a slow start? I guess we do things at a more leisurely pace down here. Last night’s episode cut out one corner of the Chelsea/Austen Kroll/Shep Rose triangle while educating us on the importance of bro code. Additionally, Thomas Ravenel hosted the crew on Edisto Island. At T-Rav’s plantation, Landon Clements is playing house while she preps for the polo match. She is channeling her inner Goop which brings a sparkle to Thomas’ eye. His last lady didn’t know her way around a kitchen, so Landon is a welcome change. As the pretend power couple awaits its guests, both are equally impressed with the other. Thomas has a plantation and Landon is a refined hostess with the most. My dog’s water bowl has more depth. I sincerely hope these two actually end up together. They deserve each other.

Austen has Chelsea programmed in his phone as “Dream Girl” which makes him even cheesier than I’d already assumed. Bless his heart. However, Chelsea seems excited about the pair’s first date, and they are two of the least annoying of the crew. Yes, I realize they have only been in my face for three episodes, so I’ll reserve my final judgment. On their way to Edisto, Austen questions Chelsea’s relationship status with Shep. She reveals that they are both from Hilton Head and may have engaged in a recent make-out sesh with Shep. Tonsil hockey aside, she still thinks Shep is an idiot. Shep 2.0 is happy to hear this news, despite the irony.

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Southern Charm Shep Rose

After such an epic saga of drama between Thomas Ravenel and Kathryn Dennis, it’s easy to forget that she also got with Shep Rose during the first season of Southern Charm. One person who didn’t forget was Shep himself who remembers that era pretty fondly and has no issue discussing it. Not that Shep really has an issue discussing anything. The man is an open book. He was really made for reality TV.

Shep discussed his upcoming love triangle with new cast members Austen Kroll and Chelsea Meissner– which I cannot wait for since Austen is the only formidable opponent that Shep has faced when it comes to wooing the ladies. He attempted to explain the odd dynamic between him and Craig Conover. And he even reminded us all that there was a person named Jenna in Season 1 of the show.

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cameran-chelsea-southern-charm

After roaming around the peninsula on the previous episode of Southern Charm, the crew was up to new antic’s on last night’s installment, and it included a cameo by Billy Ray Cyrus. Could this show GET any better (typed in my best Chandler Bing font). After the requisite morning montage, Thomas Ravenel dons his Joker glasses to get down to business as Cameran Eubanks and her pal Chelsea Meissner are working out with a trainer after a boozy night. Cameran needs to counteract her gas station diet, and Chelsea dishes on her slumber party with Shepard “Shep” Rose. Spoiler alert, there was no nudity. Cameran is excited her pal may be on the Soulmate Express with the fratastic bachelor, and she encourages Chelsea to keep playing hard to get (ie, no pants dropping) to pique Shep’s interest. He’s used to girls to giving up the goods and is need of a challenge.

Craig Conover meets Landon Clements at Tavern and Table to sympathize over adulting difficulties when there are happy hours to be had. The two giggle over the pronunciation of charcuterie, making a profession out of philanthropy, and hobnobbing with the richest of the rich. Craig is working on an event for his girlfriend Naomie Olindo’s friend’s charity. It’s focus is disaster relief for orphans in Haiti, and Craig has been tasked with ordering the step and release, um, repeat. Landon and Craig bond over how hard they work and how sucky it is when their friends claim they aren’t working hard enough. Please! These tapas aren’t going to eat themselves. Someone has to do it! You can’t spell fundraiser without FUN after all.

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Shep Rose

This season of Southern Charm has just begun, but already the cast interviews are in full swing! While Shep Rose can come across as an arrogant playboy who hates on his inner circle, there is something inherently affable (at least to me) about him ninety percent of the time. His goofy confidence, fratastic lifestyle, and penchant for mailbox money makes Shep fun to watch when he’s not railing poor Craig Conover. As much as it sometimes pains me, I find him incredibly congenial.

Not only is Shep entertaining, those of us lucky enough to live in Charleston know he is also good at finding (and funding) some excellent hot spots. His Commodore Club is a hole in the wall that boasts an eclectic vibe and amazing live music. There is often a line around the block on a Friday nights. Likewise, the Palace Hotel, which burned down last year, was a tiny, nondescript store front with bars on the windows and no sign in sight. The first time I went for dinner, I wasn’t sure if I was opening the door to a new dining experience or a Law & Order set. However, the cauliflower and pistachio tacos (yes they are a thing, and yes, they are DIVINE!) were on point. AND THEY’RE COMING BACK! Shep is dishing on the return of the Palace Hotel…but first, let’s hear his take on this season of Southern Charm!

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southern-charm

Are y’all clutching your pearls yet? We’re the second week into this season of Southern Charm, and it doesn’t seem like much has changed. Cameran Eubanks is still playing the role of narrator and wrangling man children in the form of Craig Conover, Shepard “Shep” Rose, and Shep’s latest protege Austen Kroll. Landon Clements continues to undercut Kathryn Dennis through her giggles while her “is-he-or-isn’t he” Thomas Ravenel surrounds himself with young twenty-something arm candy. Speaking of Kathryn, she’s back with a vengeance and ready to provide hair strands and blood samples and whatever else she needs in order to see her children. Forget the hot mess express, these folks are a convoy of crazy! Let’s dive on in, shall we?

As always, the episode starts with the group in various stages of morning mayhem, whether it’s working or snoozing. Whitney Sudler-Smith visits the Hugh Hefner of Charleston T-Rav, who has been recovering from the big pool party. He’s not ready to get back into the dating scene for fear a fiery siren will come in to rip off the head of some poor college junior. Whitney is enjoying this mellower version of his friend, and he’s ready to rejoin him on the Upper King singles’ scene after breaking off his long term, long distance relationship with that young blonde girl. Thomas is thrilled to have a wing man, and he makes Whitney promise to prowl the bars each night with one goal: close on site. Wait what? Oh, do it in the bathroom! Makes sense. I’ll be re-upping on the hand sanitizer before I head out again on a Friday night.

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Southern Charm Shep Rose

I feel like the Southern Charm cast is the most random grouping of friends on reality TV, but it does work somehow. I’ve been captivated by this show since the very beginning. And now that the new season has started airing, Shep Rose is sharing his opinions about all the relevant plot points.

Shep discussed the aftermath of that awkward (and I think contrived) love confession from Landon Clements, his friendship status with Craig Conover, and his opinions on the never-ending saga between Kathryn Dennis and Thomas Ravenel.

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wwhl

Although I am sad that this season of Vanderpump Rules season is coming to a close, there’s nothing I love more than those reunion episodes and part one seriously brought the entertainment. Not only that, but I got to enjoy the Southern Charm season premiere right after that. You’re probably going to judge me for admitting this, but it was the best Monday I’ve had in a while.

So it obviously got even better in my eyes when eleven o’clock rolled around and Scheana Marie and Shep Rose stopped by to dish on all of the latest gossip with Andy Cohen on Watch What Happens Live. Obviously, Scheana was asked about her rekindled friendship with cast pariah Lala Kent and of course, pretty much every Southern Charm conversation turns to that forever-unanswered question “Did Thomas Ravenel and Landon Clements hook up?”

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