As a writer you are challenged to encapsulate events and people in an exciting or innovative way. As a recapper you are challenged to reiterate exciting and crazy things that have already happened in a funny and innovative way. It’s a tough job.
Last night on Real Housewives of New York there were royal wars and pinot races. And nobody won at the end of an evening serenaded by the worst music I’ve ever heard on Housewives of anywhere – and that is really saying something. So Mazel, Cara Quici.
Things begin innocently enough with a bidet, some croquet, and champagne. Sonja Morgan, washing off the sins of her hangover, sticks her face in a bidet filled with ice. She does know what part of the anatomy a bidet is really for, correct?
Didn’t anyone ever tell Heather you can’t reason with crazy?
On last week’s episode, Aviva Drescher‘s husband Reid – sarcastically, according to Aviva’s twitter – suggested Heather may be “jealous” of Ramona‘s success following her disastrous speaking engagement at the Learning Annex. Well, Ramona definitely didn’t agree with that. Oh, no – Heather isn’t jealous, she’s just insecure.
Things begin with Carole Radziwill (in her nephew’s borrowed Halloween costume), Sonja Morgan (in Indiana Jones’ borrowed hat), and LuAnn (in Princess Diana’s borrowed accent) arriving in London. Heather Thomson and her Yummie Tummie holla-ing team are already there.
Carole is grouchy. And she’ll remind you of it over and over on this trip. Personally, a grouchy and snarky Carole is much more what Bravo was hoping for when they cast her – and she’s a good kind of witty grouchy, not just an out of control bitch.
Bravo switched up this season of the Real Housewives of New York, firing half of the cast. An insider close to the series thinks that perhaps those changes could continue if fans aren’t on board with the newest additions to the show. While an insider close to the NYDailyNews.com reveals that, for now, the franchise is seemingly safe, it reminds viewers that the cast is “constantly evolving.” The source continues, saying that the show itself is “a formula.” Perhaps Aviva Drescher should step up her game!
A Bravo source claims “it is much too early to even think about next season,” while touting that the network is “thrilled with the cast, and this Monday’s episode is high drama.”
Superfan and random twitter invitee Cheryl Minton tweeted a photo of her with Chad at the ceremony. Cheryl was invited via twitter when the recent widow told Chad and Evelyn her 30th wedding anniversary would have been this July 4th! Didn’t Cheryl get the memo that only the bride wears white on the big day?
The lessons of life are hard learned, and Sonja Morgan – executress of the Hard-Knocks School of Life – knows this better than anyone. Sometimes the truth is a bitter pill to swallow and it hurts going down. Sometimes reality is as jagged as the edges of a broken wine bottle.
As Sonja presided over her interns from her UES townhome, all of them looking up at her with searching eyes so full of hope and promise, Sonja shook her head and smiled a misty smile; if only they knew that someday their ambitions would be stuffed in Neimans bag and returned. That they would be deemed unmatchable and undesirable. That the lessons learned in fifth grade would come back to haunt them. That sometimes extending the olive branch only means something if there are olives on the vine.
Real Housewives of New York started out on a beautiful day in Central Park. Heather Thomson and Aviva Drescher are getting together to talk shop. Aviva has something very pressing to impart. She is determined to keep the peace – but more than anything she is determined to be liked by everyone. So, she pushes the childhood insecurities out of her mind and soldiers on.
She tells Life & Style, “We’d love for it to happen. I know Jacques would be a great father.”
When LuAnn was told by her doctor that her changes of having a baby are less than five percent, the forty-seven-year old tried to up her odds. “After seeing my doctor, I started going to a fertility center in New York City that specializes in acupuncture, Chinese medicine and massage,” LuAnn explains. “Apparently, acupuncture increases your chances by like 50 percent.”