Clearly the powers that be at Andy Cohen Headquarters decided to put all the super crazies together to form some sort of cosmic force of intense delusion. The loose grasp of reality that was tenuously tying Ramona, Sonja, Aviva (Ramonjava?) to the world evaporated right there on stage. Of course “IT’S ALLEGATIONS!” that they’re insane. “ALLEGATIONS!”
We open with Sonja Morgan discussing why she needs 9,000 interns. I want to know how many have lodged complaints with OSHA but Andy never asks the hard questions. She claims colleges give credits to these kids spending a semester learning Mac Calendar – scheduling Mrs. Morgan’s busy life of partying on her yacht with P. Diddy is “the hardest thing.” It takes a lot of creativity to completely fabricate Mrs. Morgan’s importance!
It’s Official! George Teichner (Aviva Drescher’s Father) and Dana Lavette Cody (aka “Cody”) married this weekend. The couple celebrated their one-year anniversary by exchanging vows!
In front of what appears to be reality TV cameras? No, no… not Bravo ones – Andy Cohen confirmed they will not be featuring a George anything – but the couple has been rumored to be filming a show together.
The interesting thing is that Aviva Drescher was not present at the ceremony!
“Ramona [Singer] is just a plain liar! Unfortunately for her, we have previous episodes to show the “REALITY.” If I’m a DRAG QUEEN (admirable occupation), she’s Cameron Diaz. . .LOL. Don’t worry we catch her in a lot more crap as the reunion progresses,” LuAnn begins.
“You have to love Ramona and how she deflects things and makes it about her hair when she just flung a wine glass at someone’s face. She tried to defend herself by saying it was plastic, but REALLY? Who throws a glass at your face, whether it’s plastic or not? Who DOES THIS? Ramona. . .with her you never know what your going to get.”
Kristen Taekman was the new girl on the block this season on the Real Housewives of New York and boy did she make her presence known! You do not often see the new girl stand up to the vets and call them out on their BS, but Kristen did. She was not afraid of Ramona Singer— although she probably should have been if Ramona had a glass of wine — and she stood of to crazy train Aviva Drescher as well.
But probably the most buzz-worthy moments with Kristen — minus the aforementioned Ramona wine glass toss — happened between Kristen and her husband, Josh Taekman. These two were not afraid to fight and show their true colors in front of the camera. I for one loved it — that is what a marriage sounds like a lot of the time. But viewers grew concerned. Well in the wake of the reunions beginning to air, Kristen is opening up about what the viewers do not get to see about her marriage.
I finally figured what Sonja Morgan and Aviva Drescher like about each other – they’re both totally and utterly delusional! And they reinforce each other’s delusions. Seriously – was there a psychiatrist waiting in the wings of the Real Housewives of New York reunion?
Kristen Taekman got new boobs. As an anniversary present. Is this like a thing now – getting new boobs for the reunion? Ladies – the suddenly ballooning mummeries does not distract us from the drama.
Of course, almost immediately Kristen and Aviva are at each other’s throats over all of their arguments this season; specifically the time Aviva told Kristen to “Shut the f–k up” in front of their kids. Aviva does not apologize. At all. In fact she denounces Kristen as a “rookie” (I see someone has been rehearsing their insults in the mirror again!) and dismisses the whole things perfectly fine and normal. I mean kids hear the f-word. No biggie. I mean it’s just a word.
After having her career questioned along with her integrity – and having to put up with a season of Sonja Morgan‘s delusions, Carole has had enough and is calling BS on this season’s shenanigans!
First she outs Sonja as a liar who tried to make LuAnn de Lesseps look bad for her own benefit! Carole reveals that Sonja’s revisionist history about her sprained leg and chasing Harry down the street to claim her one true love! “Sonja may have run through the streets of New York chasing Harry (which, she didn’t) but then she fell and sprained her ankle, drunk in the same club with Harry and LuAnn and Heather [Thomson] and Jonathan,” Carole states.
Aviva Drescher feels she has taken a beating this season and feels her character has been impugned. The Real Housewives of New York star takes a sarcastic tone in her new blog this week. Aviva snarks, calling herself a crazy bitch, snooty, and more, while also taking a “woe is Aviva” stance on the lashing she’s taken this season.
Aviva kept her blog entry short and sweet (and salty) this week. She starts off, “This is going to be the shortest blog entry ever. In fact, you can stop reading now and just look at the episode.”
She snipes, “There’s a legal concept (when I’m not a crazy bitch, I’m a lawyer), res ipsa loquitur, which goes all the way back to the ancient Roman philosopher/lawyer Cicero (I’m not just crazy, I’m also snooty). It means ‘the thing speaks for itself.’ This thing does. So don’t listen to me, watch the episode. See crazy/snooty/sarcastic Aviva react to being attacked by the mean girls by banging her fake leg on the table, and see the mean girls react in revulsion at the evidence of my missing limb — led by Kristen’s horrified ‘I’m going to vomit.'”
I’m sure Aviva Drescher is trying to take credit for it, but it was less about a leg being thrown across Le Cirque (seriously was this not the scene from a David Foster Wallace novel, or what?!) and more about the reactions of the other ladies – specifically LuAnn de Lesseps who literally burst into uncontrollable laughter and couldn’t stop.
Before all of that we have to dismantle the curious case of who got hairy with Harry. Sonja Morgan is reclining in bed, surrounded by interns of a frightened nature, one leg is propped on her pillow – tonight’s episode is clearly full of leg drama. Ramona Singer comes over to see her “Sonja-Bonja” which really is the most apt nickname ever. Sonja Bonja. Say ‘Bonja’ out loud and then laugh cause we all know Sonja likes to bone ya! I digress…
Ramona has Kristen Taekman with her because now that Aviva has outed herself as full-scale allergic to sanity, they need a tagalong to pour their wine. Pinot and Commando are adopting, y’all! Hide your impressionable youngish 30-something quarter-life crisis friends.