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It's going to be the most dramatic holiday season ever…I hope you read that in your best Chris Harrison voice!  Not only do we have dirt on tiny Bachelorette Ashley Hebert's wedding to J.P. Rosenbaum (anyone want to do an over-under?  I'm calling two years), but we have an inside look at newest Bachelor dud Sean Lowe's final four.  I'm starting to think that ABC is behind leaking some of this gossip so that the franchises will remain relevant.  After all, Courtney Robertson and Ben "Flannel" Flajnik's break-up isn't going to carry us through until 2013. 

Ashley and J.P. will be following in the footsteps of the original Bachelorette couple Trista and Ryan Sutter.  Not only are they getting married, but they're doing so in a two hour televised ABC special.  Is that part of their contract?  #rhetoricalquestions  Also, we have some spoilers, so if you don't want to skip ahead 9+ episode's of Sean's Bachelor season and make your own betting pools, consider yourself forewarned.

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I'm sure no one is surprised to learn that approximately five seconds after being dumped by Ben Flajnik, his ex-fiance unleashed the crazy that millions of viewers observed on The Bachelor

Courtney Robertson is not only reportedly writing a tell-all about her experiences on the show and with Ben, but she's been out and about complaining about him and slamming him left and right in the press. For all -2 of you who didn't think Courtney was a famewhore looking for her big ticket to stardom before this, her post-breakup behavior pretty much dispels any lingering myth.

In addition to all that nonsense, Courtney has taken a liking to hometown Phoenix-native and fellow Bachelor Nation alum, Arie Luyendyk Jr. Apparently Courtney's behavior has rubbed off on poor too cute for words Arie. 

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Like anyone actually thought Courtney Robertson from dull Ben Flajnik's season of the Bachelor would fade quietly into obscurity…

The Los Angeles based "model" is speaking out about her failed engagement to the wine making dud.  She blames the fantasy-like dates and sheltered existence during filming as part of the problem.  Wait, really?  So you're saying that falling in love in eight weeks while jet setting, swimming with dolphins, and private concerts isn't real life?  Wow.  Color me floored. 

No one really believes that Courtney would have fallen for Ben and his unfortunate hair and Oliver Twist-ish wardrobe in real life, right?  I have to say, I almost respect her more for kind of acknowledging that fact.

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Not too long ago, Dancing with the Stars pro Cheryl Burke expressed interest in being the next Bachelorette. But, when Cheryl started dating hockey pro Joffrey Lupul over the summer, she dropped the issue.

The last we heard, ABC wanted Emily Maynard back for Bachelorette 2013. Emily has yet to respond to ABC's invitation. However, according to one source, a second season is not likely. "Emily tried something new, dating Jef," Emily's pal explained to US Weekly. "She is going back to what she knows and considers safe." That Emily… she really gave the regular folk a try, but it just didn't work out. 

Now, it sounds like Emily has found a new man to play the role of husband in her made-for-TV wedding on her own. Over the weekend, Emily was reportedly spotted out on a date. Her date, Jason White, is a Nascar (ie, known and safe) truck racer. "They were all over each other," a source said. "Jason guided her through the crowd and held her hand as they walked downstairs." 

Now that princess Emily is otherwise engaged and Cheryl is single again, wil Cheryl get the gig?

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Looks like a Bachelor / Bachelorette version of The Brady Bunch, doesn't it?  Well, except for the big red slash through Jef Holm's picture, I guess.

About that No Jef Holm picture… it seems as if someone took the time to create a "Jef Holm's Ex" Twitter page. She (we're guessing) claims to be "one of the many ex GFs of Mr. Bachelorette Jef Holm" and has made it her mission to "warn" the young girls of America that Jef isn't worth the "heartache." 

Honestly, this is why I love this job. I could not make up stuff like this. 

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I know you all still believe in the power of the Bachelor and Bachelorette franchise to find true love, given as it's happened so often!  There are countless examples of how couples have come together, forever, thanks to fairy tale romance, a booze-infused mansion, Chris Harrison, and no hint of the real world.  Works every time!

The most recent couple to find a match made in heaven is Emily Maynard and Jef Holm.  Oh, who am I kidding?  If they can't even bother to keep up the charade, why should I try?  These shows are ridiculous, yet I cannot turn away.  I am obsessed…and even though some insiders are spilling some of the shows' secrets (and by secrets, I mean exactly what you thought producers were doing behind the scenes), I will still be glued to my television when Emily looks for love for the ninth time.

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Could the third time be the charm for Emily Maynard?
 
I can hear you! You're saying, "Melissa, you're kidding, right? Is this your idea of a bad joke?" Ha! I wish.. it is someone's idea of a bad joke though. I hope it's a joke, anyway. RadarOnline reports: Emily's season of the Bachelorette was such a ratings success, the producers want her back.
 
Emily’s ratings were huge and the producers know that she is incredibly popular so they are talking with her about coming back for another try,” a source told Radar. “Even though she has been burned twice, they are hoping that she will be open to the idea because they know it will be ratings gold and they know that she really likes being on TV and actually has fun on the show.” 
 
Emily has been burned twice? Are they delusional? More like, the ice princess has burned two guys. How many fools can they find for the next round, I wonder. 
 
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The racial discrimination lawsuit against the Bachelor and Bachelorette has been dismissed by a judge. Christopher Johnson and Nathaniel Claybrooks claimed racial discrimination after they auditioned for the show in April. As a result, they filed a class action lawsuit against ABC, Warner Horizon Television, Next Entertainment, NZK Productions, and creator Mike Fleiss

Christopher and Nathaniel drew attention to the fact that neither show has ever featured a person of color and the majority of contestants vying for roses have been white. The pair's lawyers argued that the producers of the Bachelor needed to respect the Civil Rights Act and other anti-discrimination laws. In addition, Christopher and Nathaniel wished to force the Bachelor to have persons of color as finalists.

Judge Aleta Trauger ruled in favor of ABC and granted their motion to dismiss the lawsuit.

"The Shows' casting decisions are part and parcel of the Shows' creative content, which the plaintiffs seek to reform. That is plainly an attempt to regulate the content of the Shows, which the First Amendment forbids," Judge Trauger ruled. "In this respect, casting and the resulting work of entertainment are inseparable and must both be protected to ensure that the producers' freedom of speech is not abridged."

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