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Basketball Wives Recap

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This is going to be good, y'all!  The mean girls are back with tagalong Suzie Ketcham trailing not far behind.  It will be interesting to see if Evelyn Lozada, Shaunie O'Neal, and Tami Roman can keep their promise to keep tempers in check.  Newbie Tasha Marbury is also going to be thrown into the craziness, but not this week.  Of course, first VH1 needs to explain away Ev & Ocho.

A bittersweet melody plays as we're treated to a photo montage of Evelyn and Chad Johnson's wedding peppered with redacted police reports and Chad's mugshot.  A somber Evelyn tells of her brother-in-law's death two days after she learned of Chad's cheating and the subsequent head butt that left her with several stitches in her forehead.  She feels like people blamed her for ruining Chad's career.  Is this Basketball Wives or the lead in for a 20/20 special?

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John Salley is back to lead us through the second installment of the Basketball Wives reunion special.  Last night’s portion proved to be more of a train wreck than the first time around which was basically just one giant PR move.  I don’t know about y’all, but I am ready to say good riddance to these “ladies” for a very long time.

John reminds us of Evelyn Lozada and Chad Ochocinco’s relationship.  Besides the Masarati, I wonder if Evelyn can watch this and not see how poorly he speaks to her.  Chad is funny and all, but she is a doormat with him!  Evelyn promotes the couple’s spin-off for a bit, happy she has the opportunity to show viewers a softer side.  John then segues into listing Royce Reed’s relationships throughout the seasons.  Of Dezmon Briscoe, Royce will only say curtly that they are doing “good.”  John reminds her of Dezmon and his baby mama’s twitter drama.  Royce says she chose to stay with him for all the things he did right instead of the one thing he did wrong.  Footage of her fight with her father is shown.  John jokes that Royce is a crybaby, and he pretty much sides with her dad while doling out his own fatherly advice.  John also shows clips from her New York acting debut that ended up on the cutting room floor.  Tami Roman reveals she was pleasantly surprised at Royce’s talent.  John touts that as quite a compliment because he believes Tami is an amazing actress.  Huh?

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Good gracious, last night was the Basketball Wives Reunion, and I must say I was a tad scared to watch it.  The majority of those ladies (bwahahaha!) are seriously unhinged.  Once again, John Salley hosts the parade of crazy.  He begins by introducing the veterans–Evelyn Lozada, Tami Roman, Suzie Ketcham, and Royce Reed, followed by the newbies–Kesha Nichols and Kenya Bell.  John next touts Shaunie O’Neal as their team captain.  If nostrils looks could kill, John would be a dead man.

He announces that Jennifer Williams is backstage, and Evelyn thinks it’s for the best.  What in the world is up with her hair??  John asks Shaunie to address the violence on this season.  Is it just me or does she look like a hot pink penguin?  She hopes that all her cast mates use the show as a mirror, and she believes that each woman takes responsibility for their actions.  Sure they do!  Evelyn is always once to admit fault.  Shaunie throws around the buzz word “balance” several times before reveling in applause.

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Finally, it’s the freakin’ finale of Basketball Wives.  I don’t know about y’all, but this season has been incredibly exhausting, and the Tahiti trip has almost made me lose my cool!

We resume the same place we do almost every week, with Evelyn Lozada mouthing off after Jenn Williams escaped into her bungalow.  Kenya Bell and Tami Roman are listening to her rants about how fake Jenn is, but I can’t take my attention off her hula hoop sized earrings.  Shaunie O’Neal sneaks away to speak with Jenn, but I love that she’s more concerned about Jenn airing the group’s dirty laundry on blogs and twitter instead of Evelyn’s erratic and violent behavior.  Why should everything be about appeasing crazy?  And I’m not a Jenn fan…I think she should let it go, and I think she is extremely and purposefully pretentious, but geez, Shaunie!  She isn’t doing anything worse than Evelyn is!

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It’s Basketball Wives time yet again, and last night the ladies were still stirring up drama and screaming their way around the resort.  I sincerely hope no one else is staying there on vacation!

Jenn Williams and Kenya Bell have arrived in Tahiti.  I wonder if they passed Kesha Nichols in the airport.  Jenn reminisces about her very similar honeymoon with Eric.  On the sunset cruise, Tami Roman is already starting the damage control.  She tells Evelyn Lozada and Shaunie O’Neal she wants to talk to Kesha calmly, like an adult, and hopefully they can coexist.  What a novel concept.  The women are sidetracked when the boat passes Jenn’s bungalow where she is lounging on the balcony.  Why is Tami drinking her beer through a straw?  Tami decides to try to fix the rift between Jenn and Evelyn, but there are huge loyalty issues.

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This season of Basketball Wives has got to be almost over, right?  I mean, I don’t know how much more I can take of these women.  Just a forewarning, this post is more emotional than I tend to be, just because I was beyond disgusted at what I was watching.  I used to really enjoy watching these women.  Where did things go wrong??

Tami Roman is still going off on Kesha Nichols.  Kesha is staying cool, while Tami continues to remind Kesha that she told Royce Reed and Suzie Ketcham she wanted to go off on her.  Kesha walks away and tries to remain calm, as Tami confiscates her pocketbook and refuses to relinquish it until Kesha returns to put her in her place.  Do you kiss your kids with that mouth, Tami?  Tami seems to be mad that Kesha doesn’t know where she comes from, but it’s time to put that excuse to rest.  Tami apparently doesn’t seem to care that Kesha comes from a background where people don’t b!tch slap one another and hold handbags hostage. I want to smack (not really, as I’d be stooping to their level) Shaunie O’Neal, Evelyn Lozada, and Suzie for not intervening.  When Kesha walks away, the other women think that Kesha should have spoken her mind.  Shaunie even laughs that Tami is really going to keep her bag and sunglasses.  Tami, you are a grown woman, and you should be ashamed of your behavior.  Sixth grade bully.

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On last night’s Basketball Wives, the women headed to Tahiti where all hell breaks lose and someone’s anger management backslides…big time.  But first, a little daughter-daddy dramatics!

Royce, Royce, Royce.  We resume with Royce Reed bawling to her father.  She just wants to hear her father say he’s proud of her.  Is that too much to ask?  Can Royce please get a hug?  Geez, her dad was just trying to give her some fatherly advice on how not to look like she jumps from man to man for attention.  Yet here she is, begging her father for attention.  Daddy issues, perhaps?

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Oh Basketball Wives!  An episode with no fighting?  What’s a girl to do?  Don’t get me wrong…I relished in it, but I am just so…so…so confused!

Tami Roman, Nia Crooks, and Evelyn Lozada meet up for cocktails, and Evelyn is appalled that Jenn Williams is giving interviews about the smack situation.  Jenn is dead to Nia, and Tami agrees.  Of course, in Tami’s interview she says that what happened at the race track was between Jenn, Nia, and Evelyn…she will continue to maybe kind of be passive aggressive pals with Jenn.  Evelyn is beside herself.  She realizes that she’s an adult with an eighteen-year-old daughter, and while she should probably be more mature, she wants Jenn’s blood.  It’s a totally normal and mature reaction, right?  Evelyn wants Tami to uninvite Jenn from the Tahiti trip, but Tami is unwilling.  Jenn’s been invited, and Evelyn needs to get over it.  Wow, Tami.  I am slightly impressed.  Evelyn makes sure that Tami knows that she’s in charge of Evelyn not getting arrested in Tahiti.

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