Basketball Wives Recap

Last night’s Basketball Wives was exactly everything we’ve come to expect from this formulaic season.  Ladies gossip, ladies lunch, ladies gossiping and lunching promise to “cut a b*tch” if they ever see said B again, other ladies don’t think it’s a good idea for a group gathering, yet, a group gathering is planned.  Mayhem ensues right as the show’s hour comes to an end.  Lather, rinse, repeat for a season…

Tami Roman continues her deep conversation with her mother.  Her mother is very emotional, and she admits that she too was molested as a child and she’s been going to therapy as well to work through her issues.  The pair seems have a breakthrough which ends in hugs and tears.

Royce Reed is thrilled that Dezmon Briscoe, her NFL playing beau from Tampa Bay, is visiting in Miami.  She immediately begins grilling him about his initial meeting with her father.  I can’t tell if Dezmon is flattered or scared when she begins to compare their relationship to her parents’ forty plus year marriage.  He admits that he is deeply in love, but he also has a lot of “we’re going with the flow” talk.

Tami is excited that Shaunie O’Neal is in visiting because it gives her the opportunity dish on Kenya Bell’s music video.  Tami is disappointed that Kenya didn’t stick up for herself, but she also wishes Kenya could see the importance of listening to constructive criticism.  Both women do a spot-on interpretation on Jenn Williams, who was uncomfortable at the video screening, and it segues into how all the women will behave when they head to the horse races.  Last year, Tami had her own screaming match at the track, so she’s curious to see if they ladies can act maturely.  Sure.  Tami is also concerned, in light of Jenn and Royce’s new truce, if Jenn will change her tune towards Royce if she makes up with Evelyn Lozada.

Evelyn meets with her friend/assistant Nia who also used to be close with Jenn.  Nia is upset that someone she was such good friends with can now pretend like she doesn’t even know her.   Evelyn feels badly that Jenn has hurt Nia’s feelings so badly.  Evelyn vows that is she is around when Nia wants to confront Jenn, she is going to stay out it.  Yeah, I can’t wait to see that happen.

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So where we last left the “ladies” of Basketball Wives, Evelyn Lozada had just hurled a wine bottle at Kenya Bell’s head.  Good times!  Is that a cross ring on her finger?  WWJD?  Not this, I assure you!  Tami Roman is able to pull Evelyn away from Kenya as she threatens death.  Suzie Ketcham feels like she’s in Iraq, what with all these wine bottles and plates whizzing by her head.  Shaunie O’Neal pretends to be distraught at this turn of events.  Tami admits that she wasn’t trying to protect Kenya as much as she was trying to avoid her friend committing homicide.  Classy, Ev!

Suzie is working out with Jenn Williams, and she’s hoping Jenn will give Royce Reed a few minutes of her time in hopes of a reconciliation.  Jenn reveals that she wasn’t so much mad at Royce as her feelings were hurt.  Perfect, exclaims Suzie–as Royce feels the same way!  Not quite…Jenn is still miffed that Royce opted to “work” with her ex Eric Williams on his “movie.”

Meanwhile Tami and Evelyn meet with Shaunie to discuss the annoying bug which is Kenya.  Are they hoping Shaunie will fire her mid-season?  Shaunie definitely thought Kenya was crazy at the dinner.  After all, she was throwing plates and wine bottles not showing any emotion when confronted by Evelyn.  Kenya is not right, y’all!  She just watched Evelyn take off her earrings without fear or concern.  Kenya must be in-flipping-sane!  Shaunie recommends a tropical girls’ trip to Tahiti, and the women question Evelyn if it would be alright to invite Jenn.  Of course it is…just give Evelyn more time to perfect her aim!  Shaunie reminds Evelyn and Tami that Suzie has invited all the women to the race track.  Should be a good time…I hope the horses are betting on which “wife” will fall victim to the first sucker punch!

Kenya and Jenn are going wine shopping.  Is it just me or does Kenya seem even more comatose than episodes past?  Kenya is hoping to purchase some vino to serve at the screening of her new video.  Jenn encourages her to invite the crew.

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I hope none of y’all missed last night’s educational and always classy episode of Basketball Wives.  I learned, among other things, never to wear flip flops with a kitten heel, and to duck and cover if I ever find myself dining with Evelyn in a wine cellar.

We resume with the ladies arguing in a cabana.  Kesha peaces out, and Suzie walks her out, but thinks better of leaving Kenya alone with Evelyn and Tami to spin more lies.  Her word play is ridiculous.  Kenya never SAID that Evelyn was loose, she just said she HEARD Evelyn was loose.  Tami finds Kenya to be very untrustworthy if she can’t remember what she’s said.  Evelyn is stewing quietly, and Kenya decides to cut her losses and leave.  Evelyn then rants about Kenya’s elderly kitten heels and her future a$$ whooping.

Royce is meeting  with JoJo Brim and Talia Coles to discuss a potential hip-hop fitness video.  It sounds like a cool project, and if I weren’t so lazy, I would certainly exercise with a Royce DVD.  Jenn and Suzie come over to Kesha’s for wine, and once again Kenya’s kitten heels are the main topic of conversation.  Jenn hasn’t had any issues with Kenya, as they both talk about their ongoing divorces.  Suzie is appalled her friend may like Kenya, much less think she’s “normal,” and Kesha warns Jenn that she’s being idolized by a cuckoo bird.  Kesha also wants to call the other girl who was in the conversation when Kenya called Evelyn loose.

Over lunch, Evelyn fills in Shaunie on the Kenya/Kesha debacle.  Good gracious, this show is so scripted.  Evelyn no longer cares about Kenya and Kesha’s problems with one another.  She is mad as fire about being called a ho loose.  She is looking forward to speaking to Kesha’s friend, who was present for Kenya’s loose lips.  Evelyn’s ring is super ridiculous, by the way.  Speaking of Kenya, she meets up with her “favorite girl” Jenn.  Jenn totally relates…she’s her own favorite girl.  Kenya is able to schmooze her way into Jenn’s good graces.  It’s like Kenya is to Jenn what Jenn used to be to Evelyn, no?

Royce visits Tami to talk about her upcoming play.  Tami is proud of her friend and having fun until Royce mentions Suzie. Royce hadn’t heard about the food stamps comment.  Tami reveals how difficult it is working with Kenya, and Royce jokes that she brought this upon herself.  Tami informs Royce that she will be joining Tami to listen to back-up choirs for Kenya.  Royce is not on board, but she’s willing to do it for Tami.  I do think their friendship is extremely genuine.

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It’s like, if they aren’t causing drama, they would shrivel up and disappear (and would that really be so bad?)…that’s right, I am referring to the ladies of Basketball Wives.

Last night’s episode started where last week’s left off, as Shaunie has tried to separate a steaming Evelyn and a holier than thou Jenn. Evelyn has grand plans to go wait around the corner, pretending that she left, and jump Jenn when she leaves the restaurant. Someone is taking a page right out of the Love & Hip Hop playbook, isn’t she? Oh, Kenya. Kenya, Kenya, Kenya. She intervenes in hopes a story about her best friend from fifth grade will calm Evelyn, much to Tami’s chagrin. Tami is sure that Evelyn doesn’t want to hear Kenya’s nonsense. While Kenya agrees, she keeps talking anyway. Tami found the whole party very entertaining, even if it wasn’t what Shaunie had hoped.

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Last night’s Basketball Wives finally gave us some new venues for the ladies one-on-one and two-on-one chats. There is farm scenery and four-wheeling. Cocktails are enjoyed on a balcony, walks are taken on the beach, and I think I even saw some roller blades. Sure there were the regular bar and restaurant chats, but gracious, if they are going to stick to this format, I am thankful they mixed it up just a little.

The women are back in Miami, and mean girls Evelyn and Tami meet with their leader Shaunie to brag about their Kesha bashing dinner. Evelyn touts her $h!t sniffing abilities when it comes to getting the dirt on people. At least the first part sounds about right. Shaunie is having a birthday dinner and wants all the ladies in attendance. She admits to Evelyn that Jen will also be at the celebration. Evelyn knows she’s going to be uber-uncomfortable, but she’s willing to be in that situation for her friend…just don’t let her have more than two drinks. Tami asks to be seated across the table from Jen and Evelyn so she can watch all the drama unfold from the front row.

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