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Basketball Wives

I hope all of our U.S. readers had a wonderful Thanksgiving with family and friends, and I hope that you're all recovering from your food comas better than this girl.  Good gracious!  I'm still uncomfortably stuffed (but happy!) from a giant delicious meal with twenty-five of my favorite chosen family, and I'm thankful that Evelyn Lozada never fails to make me giggle…when she's not throwing wine bottles.  Bless her heart.  Seriously.  Bless it.

The Basketball Wives star loves being controversial (and violent), but she's also a bit of a narcissist (understatement) which leads to countless funny stories about the high regard in which she holds herself.  This time around, Evelyn is patting herself on the back for being the subject of one of pop superstar Rihanna's latest songs.  I'll let you stop laughing before I continue.  Maybe it's not totally inconceivable, given that the pair does know each other, but I still think it's a stretch.

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Oh my.  This is good.  I mean, when I say this is good, y'all, this.  Is.  Good.  It speaks volumes to the characters of the women from the original Basketball Wives.  VOLUMES!  As you know, Shaunie "Nostrils" O'Neal, after a face-saving attempt to seek counseling from her pastor at the end of last season to end the show's violent ways, is bringing back her two explosive, bullying best friends Evelyn Lozada and Tami Roman

Evelyn and Tami want to use the fifth season for redemption after all of their heinous behavior in seasons past.  Well, they are off to a great start, I tell you!  The two ladies are hoping to revamp their images, and Shaunie and Suzie "Both Sides of her Mouth" Ketcham are also along for the ride.  Guess how the four ladies are planning to show that they've changed for the better??  Why, they're planning a walk out if they don't get their salaries hiked!  They truly have changed.

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Can I get a slow clap for Shaunie O'Neal?  She said she was going to clean up the violence and drama on Basketball Wives, and by God, she's going to deliver.  Oh wait.  Nevermind.  Instead, Ms. Nostrils O'Neal fired the calm ladies and kept her violent, bullying friends for the fifth season.  They say they want to redeem themselves.  I think Kenya Bell needs to duck!

That's right, folks!  Both wine bottle tossing, table jumping Evelyn Lozada and purse snatching, in-your-face screaming Tami Roman will be back for another round.  Apparently, they've "grown" in light of recent circumstances and deserve a fifth second chance.  Tami suffered a mild heart attack, so she has a new lease on life, while Evelyn had a short-lived marriage that ended in a head butt from Chad Johnson, so surely she's learned that violence isn't the answer.  Right?  Hello?  Anyone believe that?

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Another day, another Basketball Wives LA casting rumor!  Seeing as Shaunie "Nostrils" O'Neal has several spots to fill, I'm sure it won't be the last gossip we hear about women who may be making an appearance.  We've heard multiple things about a casting shake-up among the ladies, with the most recent being that only Jackie Christie and Draya Michele will be returning.  That should be entertaining to watch…of course, anything would be more entertaining than the current season!  It's now being speculated that Karrine Steffans will be joining the as yet unknown cast.  She better prepare herself though…we all know the newbies never last.  She needs to get on boss Jackie's good side fast. 

I don't know about y'all, but I predict that two seasons from now, this show will actually become The Jackie Christie Show, name change and all.  If I'm right, mark my words, the entire season will be vow renewals, Jackie dressing in slutty pirate Halloween costumes for family gatherings, and her participating in poetry slams.  The poetry slam part is key, given that she won't have any other cast mates with which to interact.  In all honesty, I would much rather watch Wacky Jackie in beret doing beatnik spoken word open mic nights than watch these ladies continue to meet up for coffee/lunch/cocktails/martial arts.  Am I the only one?

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I'm sorry, but I'm kind of at a loss for words with this one.  People aren't really this stupid are they?  I mean, Chad Ochocinco Johnson found another idiot to date him?  What gives with these women?  Not only does Chad have a new girlfriend, but he apparently wants to marry her AND she's feuding with his ex-wife Evelyn Lozada on Twitter.  Okay, so maybe that last part isn't all that shocking. 

Given that Chad and Evelyn met on Twitter, I guess I shouldn't be surprised that they are both still lurking in one another's Twitter feeds.  However, given the fact that the world watched how Chad treated Evelyn on Basketball Wives, then saw their marriage crumble after an alleged head butt, it's a wonder that anyone would want to get mixed up with either of these two.  Add in Chad's serial cheating and both of their penchants for violence, and any sane person should be staying as far away from them as possible!

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Royce Reed

Well it finally happened! Royce Reed is officially dunzo with Basketball Wives. Amid rumors that she along with Jennifer Williams had been fired from the show after the tumultuous season 4, Royce confirmed yesterday that she is, in fact, leaving the show. 

Royce announced the news on twitter where she explained to fans she won't be returning next season. 

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Oh, what's a reality show without a meltdown? I mean really. Can you imagine? There have been big ones, little ones, and epic ones and we here at Reality Tea mostly care about the epic ones.

You know, the meltdowns that result in flipped tables, country club stalking, slapped faces, thrown bottles, and wardrobe malfunctions. A fractured relationship doesn't hurt either! 

Below is our list of top meltdowns. Be warned: these are all of soap opera proportions!

Above, the Jersey Shore ladies lose it as Snooki and JWoww double-team poor Sammi

[Photo Credit: MTV.com]

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TELL US – WHAT ARE SOME YOUR FAVORITE REALITY TV MELTDOWNS?

Happy Election Day, dear readers! Since everyone is in a voting state of mind we decided to have a little fun on this ever-so important day.  Reality TV stars are always campaigning for favoritism (and sometimes buying their fans on twitter), so we got wondering, what stars could we – in our wildest dreams – see make it to the White House?

So cast your ballot for one of these fair candidates below. And remember this is all in fun so keep it funny, snarky, and apolitical! 

1. Caroline Manzo: She ruled Real Housewives of New Jersey with an iron fist – until Teresa Giudice went rogue!

2. Kris Jenner: The pimpmomager is a PR machine who is constantly juggling a thousand things. Plus, the Keeping Up With The Kardashians folks have as many skeletons in their closet as any good politician. 

3. Abby Lee Miller: She will frighten and intimidate foreign leaders into staying in line – or else! 

4. Donald Trump: Our national embarrassment (that hair!) might as well take it all the way. Plus, he could hopefully pay for his own campaign. 

5. Shaunie O'Neal: The HBIC of Basketball Wives knows how to dodge flying wine bottles, flinging insults, and a whole host of unruly people with a half-smile. I think she could whip congress into shape without so much as smudging her lipstick! 

[Photo Credit:Caroline Torem Craig/ WENN.com ]

CAST YOUR VOTE BELOW!

 

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