BBW

somaya jackie

Don't lie. Y'all have missed Somaya Reece since she departed from Love & Hip Hop. I know I have, and I certainly didn't have to refresh my memory as to what she looks like or the drama she caused during her tenure on VH1. Clearly it wasn't much or she'd likely still be on it!

I have to commend her from taking a break from scripted cat fights, girl drama, and drink tossing that has become synonymous with all VH1 reality shows.  But it begs the question…what is Somaya doing now?

The singer and former reality star recently checked in with the folks of The Jasmine Brand.  While Somaya is no longer gracing the small screen on L&HH, she's mastered the art of reality television stardom: do everything! Whether it's schlep a cocktail with your name on it or taking credit for some ghostwriter penning your life story, do it! I kid.  Kind of.

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bbw tami shaunie

Last night's Basketball Wives was purely the set-up for whatever insanity is set to occur in London thanks to Shaunie O'Neal's master planning.  Evelyn Lozada has quit crying and is now excited to sit back and watch someone else design her clothing line.  Suzie Ketcham is still on a high from smacking the beret off of Tasha Marbury, and Tami Roman launches her nail polish sans Big Diva.

Suzie reveals to real Tami that she took Lil' Tami with her to confront Tasha.  The women find it very fishy that Tasha referred to the women as "angry birds" even though she claimed to not have anything to do with the blog stories.  Even after flipping Tasha's hat off of her head, the women decide that it's Suzie who is owed an apology first. Tami always has the little guy's back. She is such a champion for the underdog!

Evelyn has a meeting for her clothing line Vida Lux. It's like loungewear meets the wardrobe department of Kids, Incorporated (you know, back when Fergalicious was just plain ol' Stacey). She's waxing on about patterns and colors and the gap that big bootys create in the waistband of some jeans. Evelyn wants to think international. Her maxi dresses plan to take over the world!  Later Suzie calls Evelyn so that she can continue to relive the swat-fest with Tasha.

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STAR magazine's

Ugh!  Do I really agree with Laura Govan about something?  Surely that has to be a sign of the apocalypse, right?  

Perhaps I don't really agree with her, per se, but I do think it is hilarious to watch her slam Basketball Wives creator Shaunie O'Neal…even if her rant is a tad hypocritical and totally ironic.  Let's get one thing straight though: Laura is not a fan of Nostrils.

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tami evelyn bbw

I know what you were expecting from last night's Basketball Wives.  You were expecting the norm.  A refined and intelligent Suzie Ketcham lunching with a calm and centered Tami Roman, right?  Shaunie O' Neal and her pin-hole sized nostrils supporting friends as Evelyn Lozada empowered women and Tasha Marbury explored genius and well-thought out business plans…sure, we'll go with that.   

We begin with Evelyn and Tami are dishing on all things Tasha and Big Diva. Tami understands what Tasha is trying to do, but she thinks she should perhaps be better advised in her business ventures.  Evelyn jokes about kicking Big Diva in the throat, but at least she didn't say anything about head-butting.  Thankfully, Tami's eyes are free from asbestos poisoning, and she reveals to Evelyn that Tasha tried to come for her when she regretted to the party. Oh, is that what happened?  Evelyn admits that she, Shaunie, and Suzie left long before Tasha arrived.

Shaunie is throwing her son Shareef a thirteenth birthday party that she has dubbed the Bro Mitzvah.  He wants over a hundred and fifty guests, video vixens on each arm, big name rappers performing, and a fiery entrance. Shaunie is going to do her best.  Whatever happened to a sheet cake and a roller skating rink?  And we wonder why kids today are so entitled.  Sorry, I think I morphed into my grandmother for a second there.

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malaysia brandi draya

So, this whole new season of Basketball Wives: L.A. is really going to happen, isn't it?  The Sister Govan are out (they've got their own gig now, y'all!), and Bambi is too busy hanging out with a certain member of the Love & Hip Hop Atlanta cast to rejoin the group.  Thankfully, my three favorites, crizazy Jackie Christie, changling Draya Michele, and the beautiful Malaysia Pargo will be back, and they are going to be joined by two new ladies.

And speaking of new ladies, Basketball Wives creator Shaunie O'Neal isn't too thrilled with newbie Tasha Marbury.  She's used to having people kiss her bum, so I think Shaunie's a bit thrown by the fact that Tasha doesn't seem to give a tiny toot about Nostrils or her posse of puppets.  

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evelyn-lozada-bbw-s5

Well, well, well.  What a funny turn of event, huh Nostrils?  Last season, none of the viewers wanted Basketball Wives to return, but Shaunie O'Neal and her puppets friends were dead set on proving to us all that they'd changed…and for the better, y'all!

Now, the women are back with more tears, minimal violence (so far), and, ironically enough, no desire to continue doing the show.  Not only has Tami Roman hinted that she won't be returning for season six (if there is one), but now Evelyn Lozada is trying to distance herself from BBW and its antics (most of which, I must point out, have been hers).

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For once (I know, I can't believe it either), I am going to reserve judgment on the following interview.  In part, I think Basketball Wives' Tami Roman's chat with the Christian Post is sincere, but I can't help but think that all of these ladies are on a massive PR campaign to spiff up their tarnished images despite the same bad (albeit calmer) behavior this season.  Plus, I don't want to get struck by lightning…

Talking to the magazine, Tami shares that the online petitions created by fans last season to have her kicked off the show caused her to fall into a deep depression.  She says, "I was traumatized. I became an introvert and literally withdrew from everybody that loved me, the people that I worked with and I didn't know how to handle what was happening."  Again, reserving judgment.

It was the power of prayer, according to Tami, that turned things around (perhaps things are still turning? No judgment, Lauren).  She admits, "It caused me to just say, 'ok God help me out of this situation' and I decided to make all the necessary changes," adding, "But I needed to have people really know me, know Tami and not just the imagery that they see on Basketball Wives."

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bbw tasha

I love a Basketball Wives episode that starts back just a smidge before the previous one ended.  VH1 wants to make sure we know how upset Evelyn Lozada is with Tasha Marbury and Suzie Ketcham for their insensitive giggling over head-butting jokes, but they don't take us back far enough to relive Tami Roman losing her cool over a hand gesture.  Shaunie O'Neal just sits back with her puppet strings.

And just like that, Evelyn's tears fall like rain (again) and she exits the restaurant with the Puppet Master running after her friend.  "Am I being dramatic?" Evelyn asks. Finally, a question we all want to answer.

Later, Evelyn is shooting the cover for Vibe Vixen, and she questions Tami as to whether she overreacted to Tasha's joke.  Tami understands why her friend is upset and suggests that Evelyn have a talk with Tasha about her hurt feelings.  She is actually proud of Evelyn as last season's variety would have thrown a drink (or a chair, or a shoe, or a wine bottle) at anyone who looked at her the wrong way.  I guess we all just pretend that Tami didn't just pop off on Evelyn during lunch for a misplaced hand. Okay, I'll play that game.

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