Below Deck

Danny Zureikat fired

It’s no secret that the cast members on Below Deck Mediterranean cannot stand Danny Zureikat. On one hand, he does seem like a pretty annoying person to spend an extended period of time with. On the other hand, the rest of the staff is super uptight and not at all fun, so I’m sure it has to drive him a little crazy to be around them. 

Plus, I’m sure it kills everyone that the more they hate Danny, the more the charter guests love him. And in all honesty there would be no show if it wasn’t for Danny constantly annoying everyone. For that reason alone the staff should be thankful that he is present, but that is really not how they feel at all.

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Below Deck Captain Lee

It has been way too long since Below Deck has been on the air. The show will be back on Bravo in the fall. Until then, we will have to keep up with the cast on social media.

Thankfully, Captain Lee has teased a little bit about the upcoming season. Of course, he was not able to share anything too specific, but he definitely got me hyped up for Season 4.

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Below Deck - Season 3

Well, this is just too strange, dark, and totally shocking to snark about. Apparently, fan favorite Chief Stew Kate Chastain has been busted on a domestic dispute with her girlfriend, whose name has yet to be revealed.

The Below Deck star is out on a $5,000 bond after being arrested for biting and choking her girlfriend, who she was allegedly trying to kick out of the house. She bit her on her arm and leg, then choked her. Her official arrest reads as a “felony domestic violence charge of battery by strangulation.”

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Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Good news – maybe?! – the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills has already been renewed. Bad news – the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills cast won’t change much for season seven. Why can’t we have nice things?

Earlier today, Bravo announced the six new and fourteen returning shows that will fill its summer and fall schedules. Obviously, RHOBH is on the list for fall. It will be a while before the cast is set in stone and revealed; however, when a fan tweeted @ Andy Cohen that Lisa Rinna, Yolanda Foster, Erika Girardi, and Eileen Davidson must go, he replied, “No way!”

Are y’all still with me? If you haven’t taken a sledgehammer to your phone/tablet/computer because of Andy‘s bad judgement Tweet, look below to find out what other questionable choices goodies Bravo has in store for viewers.

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Below Deck Mediterranean

I’m not trying to wish away the year, but I am certainly ready for spring and summer. Luckily for me, the high today in Charleston is a sunny 80 degrees, and Bravo’s line-up is heating up as well! Not only is my guiltiest pleasure, Southern Charm (more on that in the coming days!), premiering on April 4th, Chef Ben Robinson is returning with a new crew (and a new locale) for Below Deck Mediterranean which starts on May 3rd.

Keeping with Bravo’s trusted boating formula of mixing hot crazy people and lots of alcohol in confined spaces, the fresh yachties will face hook-ups and high maintenance charter guests against the gorgeous backdrop of the Greek islands, including Santorini and Mykonos. Ben will be the only familiar face, and I’ll certainly miss Captain Lee, the Stud of the Sea, but I can’t wait!

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reunion below deck crew

“He’s Captain Lee (Captain Lee, Captain Lee), when you crew for him, you’re working hard as can be. Fool around, you’ll scrub the decks till three. He’s rough. He’s tough. He’s alpha to a tee. Captain Lee…he’s the stud of the sea!” Can I get an “AMEN”?!?

We learned a lot of juicy little secrets on the final installment of the Below Deck reunion, didn’t we? Captain HAROLD Lee Rosbach? Respect! The reunion begins where last week’s left off…galley-gate! Raquel “Rocky” Dakota Bartlow is still accusing Kate Chastain of boozing on the clock when the fire started, and Captain Lee reminds her that former chef Leon “Beef Cheeks” Walker said she was and then admitted that she wasn’t. One way or another, he was lying. Amy Johnson skirts Andy Cohen’s direct question as to whether she’s ever seen Kate drinking on charter by responding that she thinks all of the finger pointing is petty. Andy drops the subject and moves onto my favorite Bravo promo in the history of television. Lee jokes that his wife “has gotten a lot of mileage” out of his “alpha to a tee” persona, and the crew reveals he’s a bit of a celebrity…and his first name is actually Harold, which Andy never knew. Lee’s plethora of colorful metaphors is revisited, with “when you get caught with your tit in the ringer” being everyone’s new favorite. Rocky accuses the Captain of showing support to his chief stew and head bosun, but Amy disagrees. She believes he is there for his entire crew, and Lee is quick to respond he’d lay the smack down on anyone–even Eddie Lucas–if he thought it was necessary.

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below deck reunion

“Mental wounds not healing; who and what’s to blame? I’m goin’ off the rails on a crazy train!” What could possibly be to blame? Maybe those sparkly butterflies occupying the ceiling of Eros? I so wanted another boat ballad to steer us into last night’s fun, but a little Ozzy Osbourne never hurt anyone. Plus, a boat is just a train on water, right? I don’t know about y’all, but I think it’s high tide, um, I mean “high time,” that the crew of Below Deck got a proper reunion! And a two-parter to boot! They have clearly arrived by Bravo standards! Andy Cohen has pulled the yachties from the WWHL clubhouse, and he feels like Captain Lee Rosbach has called them all to the bridge of the Eros.

Emile Kotze is sporting his grandfather’s suit, Eddie Lucas is looking adorable with a beard (it almost–ALMOST–makes me forget his douche-esque behavior this season!) and Kate Chastain has foregone the resting bitch face…for the time being. The get together kicks off with the gang recalling their favorite charter guests, and Connie Arias recalls that her roommate Emile would ask her to hit the deck a few minutes early every morning so he could spank the salami (or whatever the phrase may be). Lovely. Andy inquires as to why Raquel “Rocky” Dakota Bartlow is always chatting with her pal the ceiling, and she jokes that there were likely sparkly butterflies and unicorns flying around up there. When Eddie tries to crack a joke, Rocky jumps. Does Eddie want to get into things already? Is his girlfriend there so Rocky can share some of the sordid details of their laundry room hook-ups? 

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Below Deck - Season 3

Rocky Dakota recently gushed about how close she’s grown to all her castmates since Eros docked. Obviously Below Deck watchers were like, uhhhh… something’s fishy because everybody HATED Rocky’s guts about 5 minutes ago. It turns out Rocky’s ‘fake’ interview was just the latest installment in the Rocky Horror Boat Show and Rocky admitted she lied! 

In the cast update, Rocky who has been in a bubble of Dom and Yoga, while flinging her mermaid tail from Paris to Hawaii to Captain Aleksarms yacht, gave a long quote about the friendships she’s formed with several members of the Eros crew, even cooking dinner with Captain Lee and calling Connie Arias to talk bikini tips. Oh yeah, Rocky also claimed Eddie loved her! 

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