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Bethenny Ever After Season 3

Last night was the season finale of Bethenny Ever After. And it really felt like both the end of an era and the beginning of a new one. Julie Plake left, Jason Hoppy and Bethenny Frankel finally moved into their new apartment after a season-long HGTV show of decorating it, and Bethenny announced that the talk show is really happening.

I have to say, I’ve long had a love-hate relationship with Bethenny. I’ve loved her on Real Housewives of New York. I’ve adored her on Bethenny Getting Married?. And I’ve resented her and been in awe of her for complaining about having it all while actually accomplishing it all on BEA.

With that being said, I think it’s time for the Bethenny of reality TV to come to an end. She’s seems done. Frankly, the show seems done. And I think most of the viewers are ready to see the silly, fun Bethenny they fell in love with again. Which hopefully will happen on her talk show.

I can’t say enough about how much Bethenny is willing to let it all hang out – literally and metaphorically – and give us the very best and very worst of herself, but it seems she’s maybe given too much and it’s time to move on. I mean, case in point – do we even care about the revolving door of employees that have now come to dominate the show as Bethenny’s so-called friends and confidantes? Nope. Sorry, Jacs!

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Last night’s episode of Bethenny Ever After felt like the end of an era. Bethenny Frankel rehashed the past and she and Jason Hoppy seemed to be finally moving forward in a positive direction. We were treated to several montages of Bethenny’s life on reality TV over the years and although this isn’t the finale it seems to be setting the stage to tie up a bunch of loose ends in preparation for next week’s final farewell.

Things begin with Jason and Bethenny visiting their new apartment, which is still under construction, but finally seems to be moving along. Bethenny is having some issues with the TV eclipsing the bar and since this is quite literally an apartment built on booze, sweat, and tears – Skinnygirl needs an altar.

Really though, she’s right. Not only does Bethenny Frankel Hoppy love her some libations, but an homage to the glorious liquor gods who made her rich seems fitting. I also think she needs a shrine to Andy Cohen.

We are treated to a montage of Skinnygirl over the years from Bethenny convincing the ever-so-classy ladies of Real Housewives of New York to try a Skinnygirl margarita to learning she’d sold the brand to BeamGlobal.

Next up, Bethenny and Bryn head to Spanish class. Bethenny talks about wanting Bryn to have all the opportunities she didn’t have – namely parents that love and care for her and want to be involved in her life. Bethenny marvels at how perfect Bryn is and how unique. She describes Bryn as her own signature brand and the life of the party. Bethenny tells us her priorities have seriously changed since becoming a mommy and she wouldn’t want to miss a thing. Which is nice. She does seem totally enthralled with Bryn. I hope she always remembers that business is just business.

Side note: I love that Bethenny and Jason walk Bryn so many places.

It’s montage galore up in here! There’s another montage of Bryn‘s life and Bethenny‘s pregnancy. I cannot believe how big Bryn has gotten and how tiny Bethenny has become. Time really has flown.

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Last night’s episode of Bethenny Ever After was all about good-byes and changes as Coordinator of Chaos Julie Plake announced she would be moving home to focus on her own life after years with the Skinnygirl team. Bethenny Frankel also contemplated having husband Jason Hoppy work with her and help run the Skinnygirl empire. Did I mention Bethenny is running an empire, cause she is, just in case you forgot. She’s, like, kinda the biggest deal since, like, sliced bread. Or bottled cocktails – which never, ever existed before Skinnygirl came along.

Ok, I have to admit after a couple of episodes of really liking Bethenny again, last night she was grating on my nerves with her constant pity party and I’m so amazing nonsense. We get it – you built a successful business on your own. You are NOT, Madame Frankel, running the United States from your 3-bedroom- apartment in TriBeCa with only two twenty-something assistants who can barely send an email. Stop trying to pretend you are.

Anyway, things begin with Julie sitting Bethenny down to discuss her future. Julie lets Bethenny know the time has come for her to say good-bye. Julie will be moving home to Pittsburgh and focusing on her relationship with Drew because she’s completely burned out by giving her life to Bethenny. Bethenny is upset, but supportive, and openly admits that while Julie is great at her job – the job is probably not the right fit for Julie emotionally. Bethenny also recognizes what an agonizing decision this has been for Julie. She handled it with class and gratitude – it was nice.

While sharing the news with Jason, Jackie, and Maggie; Bethenny looks like he’s gagging on that Skinnygirl cleanse she’s drinking. Jason is sad and seems genuinely upset that Julie will be leaving their family, but he is apparently pondering leaving his job to join the Skinnygirl team. In Julie’s absence, Jackie and Maggie will be promoted. Bethenny worries if Maggie will be able to handle the ball-busting Skinnygirl team – and the constant chaos. Poor Julie – she is a C.O.C. no more!

Bethenny heads over to Drybar, which is partnering with Skinnygirl to incorporate the classic Skinnygirl ponytail and margarita into their menu. The owner practices the  classic ponytail on Bethenny and even after the re-do it looks like crap. Maybe it’s Beth’s hair, maybe that lady needs Tabatha to take over, but really – that was one sorry, sad ponytail that looked more ‘I just worked out’ than ‘I styled my hair this way.’  Afterwards Bethenny pours up a cocktail and wonders why people don’t drink in the morning. She prefers morning drunk to go with her morning sex and if she gets a blow-out, Jason should get a blow job, but Drybar doesn’t offer happy ending specials.

Bethenny discusses working with your spouse with the owner, who declares that it’s fun combining the two. One could say it’s the fruit in the sangria. Except Bethenny and Jason have a lot communication issues, so Bethenny seems nervous about adding more strain on their relationship. You know, more like adding a cauliflower to your sangria. Nonetheless, she doesn’t completely rule it out!

Next Bethenny meets up with Matt, her sexy Skinnygirl nutritionist or something. The idea that Matt is sexy is not lost on Bethenny who grills him continually on his single life, specifically if he dates and sleeps with models. Cause Bethenny can, like, relate. Nope, she’s not a forty-one-year-old married mother, she’s a single skinnygirl ready to mingle and dammit she’s good at being a bar slut! Oh, Bethenny… Oh Bethenny…  Matt tells her he told hot girls at Nobu (does Bravo have a secret partnership with Nobu?) that he worked for Skinnygirl. Poor Beth had a wistful look on her face as she wished Matt were picking her up at the bars with a Skinnygirl diet bar ad.

Why do all of her business meetings turn into sex talk and personal life convos? Bethenny fills Matt in on how Jason has a passion for working with Skinnygirl and he is very fascinated by the operation. However she worries about mixing marriage and business. Matt feels her pain and echos that it may result in their relationship being all business talk and no break. Which is an excellent point!

Bethenny takes assistant-in-training Maggie to a high-end antique store where she and her decorator Brooke peruse $6,780,000.* vases. *Numerical values inflated for entertainment purposes. Bethenny is in shock over the prices – which are high. Like, gobsmackingly so. I agree with Bethenny – too scary! No $43,000 chair moments for me! And they definitely are not good for people with children.

Bethenny tells Maggie that Brooke didn’t know her when she was broke (well, no one did apparently because she never was. Thanks, Dad!),  so Brooke expects her to spend lavishly like all her other clients, which include a whole host of famous people. And here comes the ‘I was poor and couldn’t pay my rent’ woe-is-me sob story that peppers every episode. After all that shell-shocked nonsense Bethenny discovers some bars that she likes. At $35,000 for the pair, they’re a steal!

Back at the apartment where Skinnygirl lives, the team is preparing for their big Lazy Lingerie photoshoot. Jason, apparently, chose this to be his first day of work with the Skinnygirl crew. I suppose to over-see the shoot (wink, wink). Bethenny is very excited that she has coerced her staff into prancing around her living room in their netherthings while she bounces on the sofa cheering.

Bethenny, again, explains how her business works – it’s like very, very complicated. Let’s talk about how amazing and fantastic and amazing Bethenny’s business is again! She’s so important. She is like the queen empress princess of the whole entire world. Skinnygirl alone is keeping the NASDQ alive. Bethenny’s like patenting stuff y’all. She invented bras! And margaritas! And yoga! Didn’t ya know?! ohmigawd – it’s Bethenny and her empire! It’s just, like, so mesmerizing.

Bethenny announces she is turned on by Julie wearing butt pads while holding Bryn. Dr. Amador is not working. Then she kisses her hairstylist, Stacey, on the lips to steal some of her “jarring” attention hot pink lipstick that oozes sex. Stacey is so getting some – as evidenced by the lipstick and the Skinnygirl neglige. Getting molested by Bethenny is no small fete!

From lingerie to Parenting magazine with an argument about furniture in between. Jason and Bethenny discuss the very real possibility of purchasing $35,000 furniture pieces. Jason makes some valid points about how they have a small child and they actually live in their space, so it will likely get banged up. Bethenny co-signs that she’s incapable of having valuable stuff, but she wants them nonetheless. Hey, I agree with her – if I could afford them I’d be mighty tempted. And they were awesome!

Bethenny then points out that they don’t use their valuables wisely, as evidenced by the expensive bowl being used to store iPod charges. haha. Seriously – that was my favorite scene of last night.

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Last night on Bethenny Ever After, Bethenny felt the pressures of being attacked by the media over the lost at sea scandal. To get her side of the story out there, she makes some talk show appearances. On the bright side, Bethenny and Jason are still connecting and getting along better than ever.

Things start out with a Skinnygirl product placement; Jason and Bethenny are sitting around having Skinnygirl Margies and talking tabloid rage. I want a job where I hang out and drink all day. And I get a lifetime supply of said cocktails. #livinthedream

Bethenny has discovered that the media is accusing her of faking the lost at sea debacle. She is highly incensed that people want to tear her down because she is successful, but I guess that’s the breaks when you become a celebrity. Particularly, one whose celebrity is based on exposing your real-ish life to television cameras.

Proving she doesn’t really want to leave the limelight, no matter how merciless the ‘bloids and the blogs are, Bethenny announces that she has shot a pilot for a talk show produced by Ellen.

Bethenny is going to pick out a bathroom for the new apartment. In the car on the way to the toilet shop, Dwayne, who is more than just a driver, but also a lifecoach now, counsels her on handling the haters. At the toilet shop, Bethenny tries to convince her poor helpless interior designer to pop a squat on the toilets, and then insists her designer is going to get sex with the way she’s dressed. Uhh… why so much crap, Bravo, why so much crap?

Nick shows up to drop off his food blog. He is adorable. So adorable. He looks great and he reads his falafel report aloud whilst being forced to imbibe a Skinnygirl margarita. Nick’s blog is hilarious. Nick is my favorite Skinnygirl accessory. I’m glad he’s able to make light of his harrowing tale of Bethenny forcing him to get threaded. Why must Bethenny constantly harass him? At least she gives him props on his awesome writing. Please, seek other employment Nick. Call Gawker.

Leave it to Bethenny to turn all topics of conversation into sex as she insists Julie admit she’s had a panty dropping cocktail of the Skinnygirl variety. Frankly, I think it’s only fitting that a Skinnygirl Panty Dropper hit the market. I mean Frankelzombies love her sex talk so it’d probably sell like Skweeze Couture and Ramona Pinot… Errrrr… oooohhh… those actually don’t sell much, do they?

It’s Therapy Time! Everybody is looking for a flaw–most specifically Bethenny–and everybody loves to rip apart the successful amongst us. Me included apparently, given this recap and the fact that Bethenny believes bloggers are out to disparage her.

So do we think yoga is working for Bethenny? Zen-not? She is really, really worked up and cursing like a sailor (pun intended!) over these accusations that lost at sea-gate was a ruse. Bethenny has a point that people love to tear you down for small things–that’s true–but she needs to calm the eff down and relax. I agree with Dr. Amador – why continue with all of this if you are so unhappy with the perceptions in the media? Why go farther by adding a talk show to the rotation? I love how much backpedaling Bravo is doing with the whole lost at sea thing. #damagecontrol

Bethenny admits she is a workaholic and says it comes from former feelings of depression, hopelessness, and struggle; believing nothing good would happen for her. Sad. Old Bethenny was consumed by anxiety about not building a happy life for herself. Good thing her looks didn’t go before she snagged Jason! Honestly though, I’m happy she married a man she loves, had a child, and has managed to become successful – so go enjoy it! She did work hard and it has paid off. So, why so much angst?

Back at home, Bethenny continues to be consumed by stress over negative press. Bethenny believes making money has caused people to become “rabid dogs.” She is especially confused by the constant attention, given that she is currently “flying under the radar.”  Flying under the radar by being on TV, starring in a show about her life, and writing books about her life, and hawking products every five minutes? That kind of flying under the radar? That’s, like, so far under the radar, she’s practically invisible.

Bethenny wants to start some gossip of her own in retaliation, and she is furious about tabloid journalists being able to make up stories. And now she is going after them for it! For Forbes sake, of course. Here’s the thing; with every rumor there’s always a grain of truth… The lady doth protest too much!

I get that its stressful handling constant negative press about yourself. Hell, I get stressed out reading negative comments on Reality Tea. And it must suck–particularly hearing negative things from your own mother–to have your life be scrutinized. Later, Bethenny smashes a wall in the new apartment to get out her frustration and build a new closet. She bashes it in the name of lying bloggers or something. She sure has a thing about people lying lately, doesn’t she?

In order to combat haters, Bethenny is making the talk show rounds to get the truth out. Bethenny is upset that her credibility is attacked by these bloggers and the tow boat operator, who accused her of fabricating the emergency. First up is The Today Show.

Bethenny and Jason are have date night. Does Bethenny ever stop talking about herself? She is ranting on and on about the Forbes article being attacked for inflating numbers, and the retractions, and the this and the that. We get it – she’s upset. Do we need an entire hour (45 minutes) of television devoted to this? Jason is supportive of her vendetta and high fives her when he learns a retraction was issued by certain media outlets, although he does point out that that’s what happens when you’re in the public eye.

I have to admit, I love Bethenny and Jason together.  They have a fun dynamic and they get each other’s humor. I think it is so cute that he is completely enamored with her and loves her just the way she is. She should learn to take a compliment–her hubby thinks she’s beautiful and sexy–not meat. They have a cute funny back-n-forth about her tank top being sexy and his beard looking like a crotch hair. Jason is planning Bethenny’s birthday in Mexico and he is treading lightly after last year’s meltdown of epic proportions, which likely goes into the Bravo Hall of Fame for most ridiculous meltdown (Don’t worry – Kelly B‘s still tops it!).

Bethenny reiterates why birthdays aren’t her thing and hopes for something low-key and relaxed. They agree on dinner, Mexico, and margaritas. Sounds perfect to me.

Bethenny and a smallish posse of Skinnygirlians will be going to LA for her Ellen appearance. Bryn will also be coming with mommy. Cute. There was packing drama and no one cares. Bethenny plays with Bryn while everyone else packs for her. Jason dips out after a brief good-bye so she calls him for a better good-bye, which makes Bethenny reconsider how incredibly insane her schedule is that she barely has time for the little important things. It was a nice moment of reflection.

In LA, Bethenny and Jackie prep for Ellen. Bethenny discovers that the mostly silent Dawa is actually very involved in Free Tibet protests. Wow! Dawa = way more interesting than anyone else on this show. Going over her schedule, Bethenny announces she wants to relax and go on vacation, whilst lying in bed eating as everyone else takes care of Bryn and works around her. Oh, to be rich. Why didn’t I win Mega Millions?

Bryn also wants a vacation and says “Mexico”. Bryn is ridiculous cute. Bethenny loves going on Ellen, whom she looks up to and respects. Bethenny explains that the dynamic has changed since shooting the pilot for the talk show and she feels things are different and exciting. She feels at home with the Ellen team and everyone passes Bryn back and forth and coos over her.

Bethenny and Ellen discuss Bryn‘s verbosity and I think we know she gets it from her mama. Bryn shows off her talking skills by saying “All da boats” and “I’m da baby” and Ellen counters that it’s not really sentences. Oh, please Ellen–she’s one–and that’s really advanced for a one-year-old! I like Bryn’s babytalk. Ellen is a ball buster, but it’s all in fun.

Once Ellen cameras are rolling–on stage, that is–Ellen quizzes Bethenny about being lost–maybe stranded–at sea. Ellen and Bethenny have a good rapport about the incident and they’re amusing together. Backstage, Jackie reassures Bethenny that the bit went well and was really funny. Bethenny and Ellen are now friends and she is thrilled to be a part of the Ellen experience. Hey, who wouldn’t be?

Next Week: Does Julie quit? Bethenny and Jason ponder working together? And Skinnygirl does a lingerie shoot.

THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE? WAS BETHENNY OVER REACTING ABOUT THE NEGATIVE PRESS – OR WAS BRAVO DOING DAMAGE CONTROL? DO YOU BELIEVE SHE REALLY WAS LOST/STRANDED AT SEA?


Last night’s episode of Bethenny Ever After was all about team building, compromise, and mummy dearest. The Skinnygirl Team had girls night out, learned self-defense, and got to roller skate around Bethenny‘s new apartment. Bethenny and Jason practiced their lost at sea skills and compromised and communicated. Oh, and they had mouth guard sex, which I’m sure has also happened this one time at band camp. And Bethenny’s mom made an unwelcome appearance via the tabloids.

Bethenny is out to dinner with her girls, who also happen to be her employees. It’s apparently a work dinner, but they are talking about Bethenny, Bethenny’s relationship, and how she sucks at being a girls-girl because she was always alone. I guess Bethenny’s nonsense is paying everybody’s bills! Bethenny reveals that Jason is in denial about his love of therapy and the boat trip was successful in the end because they are communicating more.

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On last night’s episode of Bethenny Ever After, Jason and Bethenny experienced therapy at sea and got lost among the waves. Luckily, their marriage survived intact!

First of all, let me say that the concept of sailing into your future is horrible and cliché. Yuck. Bethenny and Jason pick up where they left off last week, with Jason storming off the heliport. Bethenny just wanted an apology, but for some reason was unable to bring this up at home, before leaving, before the cameras were rolling. Hmmm… I wonder why?

Jason eventually agrees to get on the helicopter and go on the trip. Bethenny apparently spends the ride crying about her life, and when they meet up with Veronica–Bethenny’s “glammy”–in Nantucket to drop off Bryn, Bethenny fills her in on what happened. Question: Doesn’t Bethenny have a full-time nanny? Why is her hairdresser babysitting for the weekend? Why is Bryn always being watched by a zillion different Bethenny sycophants?

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On last night’s episode of Bethenny Ever After, Bethenny and Jason found themselves at an all-time low, as their fighting turned venomous and anguished. Interestingly, we also saw Jason put his foot down, refusing to let Bethenny sell out their marital woes on television. I love integrity in a man. Bethenny also learned that Julie may be thinking of moving on, and her apartment renovations got horribly off track due to miscommunication.

Bethenny is doing a shoot for People Magazine. She has invited some friends/employees to hangout/counsel her. Her poor hair dresser had a yoga top boob-malfunction, which was a super funny story and as a yoga zealot, I’ve often worried about the astray boob. Aaaahhh… namaste – not for the faint of heart!

Bethenny regales them with tales of Mr. Perfect Behaving Badly. Apparently, the Frankel-Hoppys don’t have much luck with 40th birthdays. Bethenny planned a special birthday weekend for Jason and all went divine until Jason expressed disappointment that his parents weren’t included. Which caused massive fighting. Bethenny feels she included them by setting aside a day on the weekend for him to visit with them. I feel for Bethenny – my feelings would be hurt, but I also understand Jason’s perspective.

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On last night’s episode of Bethenny Ever After the crew continued their vacation in Montauk, where Jason and Bethenny continued their passive aggressive marital meltdown. There were some cute parts (Cookie) but it was a lot of raw sadness in the form of a couple who seems genuinely at odds, but still love each other.

Things start out with Dwayne. Bethenny has a driver now – who also seems to double as a bodyguard. Is she afraid of Jill, now that she has been cast aside from reality TV? Why Bethenny can’t drive herself to Montauk is interesting to me… she did so last week. I guess she’s big league now, or a “baller” as Bethenny likes to say. Also on the trip is Bethenny’s Glammy. Does she own this Mercedes?

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