Andy opens by asking Brandi and Mike if they know each other. “He just tried to have sex with me in the back,” Brandi spouts off. Kicking the show off with class, naturally. Mike says “you and Golnesa would say yes.”
Things are definitely not any better between Brandi and Kyle Richards. Brandi says that she ran into Kyle at Sephora in NYC earlier in the day (she’s a guest on WWHL tomorrow night) and Kyle ran out of the store. “I had to get my lashes, I had to stay.” She says they didn’t speak at all.
In a series of now deleted tweets, Lisa questioned why Kim, who is at the center of all the drama this season, is the only one who never writes her Bravo blogs. According to Lisa, writing while drunk is really, really hard. Tell that to Brandi!
Last night Lisa was asked why Bravo doesn’t make all the Housewives write blogs. “Isn’t it part of the housewives contracts,” the tweet inquired. Lipsa, who wants us to know no to believe anything unless we hear it from her lips responded, “#exactly.”
We all remember that incredibly hard to watch limousine ride on the season finale of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills when Kim Richards accused her sister Kyle of stealing her house and then Kyle outed Kim as an alcoholic. It was so awkward, and we got round two on the latest episode in Kyle’s very, very brown new home. Seriously, it was a lot of brick!
After Kim once again accused Kyle of unfairly cheating her out of her portion of their mother’s Palm Desert home, Kyle decided it was time to defend herself. She explains some of the background on selling the house and updates viewers on where the sisters’ relationship currently stands. It doesn’t sound good.
Lisa said she knew Kyle was “in need of someone to talk to” about Kim.
“I am just as sick of this topic as all of you are,” shared Lisa, “but at this point, it was quite evident to me that Kim’s “best friend” had decided to fill her in on the conversation we had over lunch but conveniently left out her entire role in the conversation. One would assume that Brandi realized she’d spoken of Kim in a way that would upset her, so she lumped the whole conversation on me. Brandi needed me to be the bad guy in order to keep Kim from being mad at her, too.”
The ladies start off the last leg of their Tour de Denial at the flower market. Earlier, while they were biking through the city Lisa Vanderpump saw a friend of her son Max. Brandi got to chatting… and other things… with said 23-year-old – lo and behold he asked her on a date, after spending the night with her. Are we sure they weren’t biking through the Red Light district? Isn’t dating your former bestie-turned-enemy-turned-stalking/slapping-recipient’s son’s friend a little, I dunno… Lifetime Movie creepy? I mean I can just picture Sela Ward playing the role of LVP.
Brandi, wearing a Fred Flintstone costume, recounts to Kim about “play slapping” Lisa. Kim laughs that uptight Lisa can’t take a joke – like that one time super sober champion soberling Kim joked about Harry doing evil, awful things and Lisa Rinna having evil, awful secrets… does Harry keep a people-eating troll in the basement?!
We’re all still reeling from that slap heard ’round Holland on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Amster-damn straight no one should ever lay a finger on the fabulous Lisa Vanderpump, even if it was supposed to be a joke! Can I be honest for just a moment though? While it was stupid and tacky and rude and childish, had it been anyone other than Brandi Glanville, everyone would probably find it funny. I’m no Brandi fan, but it seems like if you’re talking and joking about slapping each other, there is potential for a legen–wait for it–dary round of Slapsgiving. Sure, you could argue that no one besides Brandi would ever behave in that manner…and you’d be right. That said, Kyle Richards barely mentions it her recap of this week’s episode because she’s confused as to how Lisa Rinna and sister Kim Richards went from screaming and glass shattering to shopping buddies in the blink of an eye.
Kyle begins, “We pick up in Amsterdam where we left off last week. I had decided to just stay clear of Brandi, because we had enough problems so far and I knew the possibilities that awaited me if I were to continue engaging with her. The next day I went to visit Yolanda [Foster] in her room. While I appreciated her wanting me to fix things with Kim, it just is not that simple. It’s difficult to get advice from someone who really doesn’t have the complete story. Frankly, I wanted to try to enjoy my time in beautiful Amsterdam and I knew that trying to fix things on this trip was impossible. This ‘fight’ isn’t an isolated incident. There is way too much baggage to explain to someone that is not family. I think it’s hard for someone like Yolanda to understand not just wanting to ‘patch’ things up, because she and her brother have a fun, easy going relationship. They are very fortunate. That doesn’t mean Kim and I don’t love each other. I love my sister very much and wish things were different. Unfortunately, sometimes you have to take a step back.”