Monday's episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills had the Richards sisters celebrating graduation, Yolanda Foster celebrating her husband's star on the Walk of Fame, and, what was that again? Yes, yes. Brandi making out with Carlton. While she mentions all of it in her Bravo blog, I've just chosen to highlight her new infatuation with Splits and her sibling sidekick. Brandi feels sorry for Kyle, y'all. Join me, won't you, as we return to bitch mountain…
Ahhh… Real Housewives of Bevelry Hills: where totally untrue in every way cheating rumors never die. Oh! And famous people get to block traffic and redecorate the sidewalk just for being famous.
Over at Kyle Richards' Faye Resnick-fied castle of tchotchke, she's upset because she has to clean up alllllll the dog poop like every day, despite a plethora of brightly colored postage notes decorating the cabinetry advising people otherwise. Poor Kyle – nobody listens to her! Nobody cares! Nobody cares what Kyle wants!
And what does Kyle want? Attention and caftans. Preferably together. Since Kyle presumably has nothing else to talk about but cheating rumors that are totally NOT TRUE and that she totally wants to DISAPPEAR, she and Mauricio sit down to discuss said cheating rumors and how untrue and absolutely ludicrous they are.
Joyce chatted with Steppin' Out magazine's Dan Lorenzo in their latest issue, due out December 18th. Joyce covered everything from who she'd stay in contact with if the show were canceled and explained why she finally caved and worked with her producer hubby.
Bravo has created its fair share of monsters, no doubt about it. However, what's a gal to do when it creates two monsters, and those monsters start feuding very publicly about feminine hygiene? With whom do you side? It's a conundrum, I tell you!
While talking about anger issues, Brandi said, "I do have one with your co-star MJ. She ran into a friend of mine and was incredibly mean to him. She didn't realize he actually worked for the show – that was putting on her show – but she was, he said, horrible, bossy, and dismissive."
GG responded, "I'm going to be completely honest, I love MJ to death and I would really be there to have her back for anything, but there are a lot of our cast members that have changed with this small bit of fame. We're only three seasons in, we're not any kind of Angelina Jolie, to have that attitude. The more famous you become, the more humble you should become because people look up to you. So, that's unfortunate to hear, but I can't make any justifications for her."
"8th grade drama sounds the same 30 years later," Kyle tells Mauricio. You know it! Time for all y'all ladies to take a little Alice In Wonderland pill and grow the EFF up!
Things begin with Brandi and Carlton Gebbia shopping at Trashy Lingerie. Ahem. Brandi and Carlton verbally molest each other and gush about much they love beautiful women in an innuendo-laden crapfest. But neither of them are lesbians or something.
Brandi is buying lingerie for her non-relationship and wants to bury a crystal to evoke new love. How about bury the past? Not talking about your ex constantly might help welcome someone new into your life!
Lisa's integrity is also being questioned left and right – including whether or not she fake fainted on Dancing With The Stars last season. Well Lisa is fighting back by throwing some serious shade and also finally stooping to the levels of her co-stars and bashing them on Twitter. Well at least bashing by re-tweet! Hey the masses have spoken: Kyle and Brandi are behaving like super twats brats!
"I am disappointed but not surprised to see how gleefully Kyle initiated the conversation of my last performance on DWTS. It was as if they relished me being voted off DWTS," Lisa writes in her Bravo blog about the ladies discussing her in the limo on the way to Carlton Gebbia's luncheon.
And she's especially unhappy that former friend Brandi Glanville has turned on her, sold her out to the media, and is trying to make her look like a manipulative bitch! "It was a difficult season, that's for sure, " Lisa acknowledges.
Speaking to Access Hollywood, Lisaadmits losing her friendship to Brandi "hasn't been easy" and she "doesn't understand" where the falling out came from. "I loved her – and I've been so supportive," Lisa says. "So I'll be interested to see how it plays out."