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Brandi Glanville

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Poor Lisa Vanderpump is realizing that all her friends on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills actually hate her. Oops! In this week's episode she foolishly tried to defend a drunk Brandi Glanville who was continuously insulting Joyce Giraud because she finds her annoying. 

I was disappointed that the normally classy Mrs. Vanderpump would ever try to defend the tragically unclassy Ms. Glanville – and apparently Lisa shares my disappointment! In her latest Bravo blog, Lisa admits this is the episode where the tide turned and she started realizing that wait – there's no friends here, only big bad biatches wanting to take me down with a hair flip and a smile! 

"Oh dear! That is all I want to say really! Could we just leave it at that?" Lisa begins. Don't we wish… Except we can't, unfortunately. 

Referring to Brandi, Lisa is shocked she chose to reveal so many sexual tidbits. Choking anyone? "I am not particularly interested in the two finger maneuver that will be explained in her book. After 31 years of marriage I probably have a few maneuvers of my own I could share," Lisa teases. 

But on a serious note, "It's hard to understand this constant need to shock. Her admission of indulging in cocaine, nudity, of being choked? Calling yourself a whore? What message does that send?"

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The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - Season 4

Poor Jacqueline, er, I mean Joyce Giraud certainly learned what it means to plan a girls' trip in the land of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Either someone ends up drunk in a suitcase or someone ends up wasted at the dinner table, but regardless, intoxication only fuels the drama and bad behavior with this group. Joyce especially took issue with Brandi Glanville's behavior (Who didn't? That comment about Joyce's inability to swim crossed so many lines, I'd be worried if she wasn't offended!).  She didn't take too kindly to be shushed by Yolanda Foster either. At least Kyle Richards had her back. Good ol' Splits!

In her Bravo blog, Joyce breaks down the entire episode, but she doesn't shy away from calling out Brandi and YoFo. I hate to break it to her, but all the hair flipping and taking the high road isn't going to make it to far with this crowd. Kyle has already cornered the market on the hair, and none of these ladies seem to know the meaning of being the bigger person…unless by "big", you mean "fat." In that case, Joyce may be alright considering she's already got the name of a big ol' fat lady. 

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rhobh-recap-joyce

It was the first Real Housewives of Beverly Hills vacation last night and true to form it was like a game of Clue with whodunit and why, with what, where and WTF?

Last night's metaphorical Housewives slayer was none other than Brandi Glanville who could hold neither her alcohol or her tongue. Although she did start out by telling us all the things she likes to do with her tongue or have a tongue to do her when she conducted a little market research for her new book. Yep, sex, wine, and Brandi again… *yawn*

Over at Joyce Giraud's house she's preparing for Palm Springs with a fashion show. Joyce's closet is beautiful. And it houses the entire Golden Girls wardrobe department archives, including several pair of reproduction hibiscus print culottes.

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brandi-glanville-bravo

Brandi Glanville warned us ahead of time that the next few episodes of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills would be rough and show her in a pretty unflattering light (with her mouth to blame more than the editing, in my opinion).  After tonight's episode aired (recap coming tomorrow morning!), Brandi called in to Watch What Happens Live (where Kyle Richards was the guest) to apologize again, specifically for the comments she made about Joyce Giraud (aka Jacqueline). 

While they hung out by the pool in Palm Springs, Joyce revealed that she can't swim, which prompted Brandi to fire off with  "you're a black person".  Brandi then tried to jokingly explain that her black friends would've laughed at that because they, too, won't get in the water, fearing getting their weaves wet.  Brandi's castmates were shocked by her generalizations and fans reacted, calling her a racist. 

Andy Cohen said to Brandi, "As you can imagine I got a buttload of Tweets for you, wanting to know what you were thinking.  Kenya Moore, Atlanta Housewife Tweeted 'not all black women wear hair weaves, half the women on Beverly Hills Housewives are wearing some fake hair. Brandi could not be more ignorant.' "

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brandi-glannville-rhobh

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Brandi Glanville wants us to know that things about to get really, really bad on the show! 

Brandi took to YouTube to share early apologies and advance warning about her behavior over the next several episodes of season three.  She shared a video this week, trying to explain her actions and hope that we'll find it in our hearts to forgive her when it's over.  She is upfront that it's going to show her in a bad light and that editing is to blame for some of it, but the rest is all on her and she's owning it.  

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Lisa Vanderpump At Beverly Hills Nails

So Kyle Richards is finally the star of the storyline on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, except it's probably not for the reason she always hoped! Kyle has been in the spotlight over allegations that Mauricio Umansky cheated and because no press is bad press, she keeps talking… and talking… and talking… about a story that was probably planted to begin with she wants to die. 

This week Kyle is taking umbrage that Lisa Vanderpump, the friend she doesn't really want anymore, hasn't been defending her enough in public or reaching out. Lisa made some less than supportive statements about how no one knows 100% what any husband is up to and we can't all be totally positive the rumors aren't true, and now she's defending her words. 

Commenting that for someone who doesn't want to talk about it (Yeah, Kyle!) she's sure talking about it a lot, Lisa insists she had defended and supported Kyle. 

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brandi glanville

Okay, okay, we get it Brandi Glanville. You're no longer friends with Lisa Vanderpump and you adore Kyle and Kim Richards who once hid your crutches and made you cry. Oh, and you made out with Carlton Gebbia! Seriously girlfriend, it's time for a new shtick!  

Monday's episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills had the Richards sisters celebrating graduation, Yolanda Foster celebrating her husband's star on the Walk of Fame, and, what was that again? Yes, yes.  Brandi making out with Carlton. While she mentions all of it in her Bravo blog, I've just chosen to highlight her new infatuation with Splits and her sibling sidekick. Brandi feels sorry for Kyle, y'all.  Join me, won't you, as we return to bitch mountain…

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rhobh-recaps

Ahhh… Real Housewives of Bevelry Hills: where totally untrue in every way cheating rumors never die. Oh! And famous people get to block traffic and redecorate the sidewalk just for being famous. 

Over at Kyle Richards' Faye Resnick-fied castle of tchotchke, she's upset because she has to clean up alllllll the dog poop like every day, despite a plethora of brightly colored postage notes decorating the cabinetry advising people otherwise. Poor Kyle – nobody listens to her! Nobody cares! Nobody cares what Kyle wants!

And what does Kyle want? Attention and caftans. Preferably together. Since Kyle presumably has nothing else to talk about but cheating rumors that are totally NOT TRUE and that she totally wants to DISAPPEAR, she and Mauricio sit down to discuss said cheating rumors and how untrue and absolutely ludicrous they are.

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