“Newsflash: I’M NOT SOBER,” blogged Brandi. We could stop here because that’s where Brandi’s “real” ends. But, she added, “And fantasies are just that – fantasies. I’ve just about HAD IT with these judgmental women that pretend to be perfect and think they do no wrong. Spa day was fine other than the uncomfortable wine tasting, but I tried to tell some jokes to loosen the mood.”
Kyle said poker night felt “extremely uncomfortable” from the very beginning. “I could see Kim was ‘off’ but wasn’t quite sure how to handle the situation. One thing that was very clear to me watching this is that Brandi is not my friend. Never has been. I have tried to give her the benefit of the doubt but always kept her at arms length. To see her pretending to be friends with me in the car ride to Eileen‘s then turning on me made things abundantly clear to me. Brandi can’t be a friend to anyone. Including my sister.”
Other than habitual mind games, I’m just gonna go ahead and declare that Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills should swear off game nights. The first one ended with a woman on crutches losing her crutches and being called a “slut pig” (holy foreshadowing metaphors at work there), and this latest one involved one woman almost needing crutches after being shoved down the stairs with a piece of pizza. Andy Cohen is redefining class for the modern age!
It all starts out innocently enough, Kyle Richards plans a spa day and the girls put on an odd assortment of outfits ranging from soccer mom at Target to ladies who lunch at Bergdorffs. (Lisa Vanderpump has been suffering from an over-dressing problem lately. Brandi Glanville has been suffering from a combo of under-dress/not wearing enough clothes problem).
Yolanda Foster is skipping this wonderful event, because despite being not being able to read, nor write, nor watch TV, she is in NYC micromanaging Gigi and Bella’s modeling careers and zipping around the globe hot on My Love‘s tail. YoFridgidaire is also seriously trying to make the stupid ‘Tile of Love’ walls happen because she sends Kyle a photo of her posed in front of the magnificent one the housekeepers made for Bella’s new apartment. I shade, but those Hadid girls are beyond beautiful and seem to have a really sweet relationship.
Brandi starts out thanking Carlton because out of all of the Housewives that she called during Celebrity Apprentice, she’s the only one to donate money! But then she says that Carlton and Yolanda were the only two she called and Yolanda couldn’t get the money to her in time because of the time constraints.
Kyle starts off clearing up the wine tasting, “First of all, I had no idea there was going to be any wine tasting. I set up a massage for the girls and the hotel decided to go all out but I had no idea what we were doing other than a massage.”
Andy tells Kyle that Brandi Glanville was Tweeting that Kyle scratched her during their scuffle by the door. “I never scratched her. She grabbed my arm and I have bracelets that have spikes on them and when she grabbed my arm, that’s what she got. I never scratched her. I was not physically going after her, I was trying to stop her from taking my sister from me.”
Andy asks why Kim got mad between the bathroom and the pizza experience. “I have no idea and that’s what I was trying to find out.”
Celebrity Apprentice continues to weed-out the calm players to make room for the drama to really roll out. And like a switch being flipped last night Kenya Moore set the wheels in motion. Finally – because we’ve been hearing about how so-called vicious this season was and I haven’t seen much evidence of that lately!
Of course, most exciting was Joan Rivers appearing posthumously as an angel from fashion critique past. Awww… Joan, how we’ve missed you and your acerbic wit. I hope Heaven hasn’t made you any less caustic.
It’s not that I’m disappointed by the rollicking hubris of Geraldo Rivera, but at this point it’s as wholly predictable as Kate Gosselin being self-absorbed and bitchy. #BeenThereDoneThat! I’m starting to believe Geraldo is losing his touch because he’s been on the losing team two challenges in a row! Geraldo… don’t rest on your laurels!