If there were an MVP award for each of the Real Housewives seasons, Eileen Davidson would get my vote for Most Valuable Player of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Eileen’s snarky comments cannot be matched.
Eileen wins the episode:Kyle Richards and Brandi Glanville scream at each other and she quips, “I do not know how to make that better. What do you do? Get a hose and hose them down?”
Eileen wins the internet: “I have to first address one thing: the words ‘reckless’ and ‘you should be disappointed in yourself’ should never, EVER pass the lips of Brandi Glanville. Unless she’s referring to herself. THAT IS ALL.”
Brandi Glanville took to her blog to apologize for her incessant whines (“You scratched me!”), low blows (“You’re not wanted … Ask your husband!”), and violent threats (“I will knock your teeth out!”) on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills this week. HAHA. Just kidding. There wasn’t a single mention of anything she said or did that was out of line. Brandi focused solely on how terrible Kyle Richards was to her guests and her sister.
Brandi called out Kyle for asking Kim Richards why she was in the hospital. This was likely a staged conversation to fill in viewers, but Brandi needs it for her narrative. “Kyle asks her sister why she was in the hospital. There. I will leave it at that. She doesn’t even know WHY her sister was in the hospital more than a week later. It was a hernia, fractured rib, and disc issues – very serious, very painful injuries and medical issues for a single woman over 40.”
Kyle Richards lets the fur fly this week in her personal blog, taking time out to refresh Brandi Glanville’s memory on her lies and her own reckless words since she joined The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Kyle is fed up and tired of Brandi’s truth-twisting and trying to meddle in her relationship with her sister, Kim Richards.
Kyle first wants to clear up a few things about last week’s episode after she read Brandi’s own blog. “I’d like to address Brandi’s attempt to twist the events that played out at Eileen’s poker night in her blog last week. It’s an insult to our intelligence. We all SAW with our own eyes exactly what happened. To say that I wanted this to play out in front of the cameras to hurt my sister is her way of trying to poison our minds, as well as Kim’s. We all saw that I walked AWAY, into the bathroom where my sister followed ME. I asked my sister repeatedly to cover her microphone which she insisted she didn’t want to do, because she had nothing to hide. If I had wanted to make a scene at the poker table, I had plenty of opportunities to do so.”
On last night’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills everyone corralled their best “gays” and trotted them around the ring in Kyle Richards Boners Cup Classic! Unfortunately objectifying “gays” took a backseat to objectifying sanity when Brandi Glanville stormed the premises and a custody battle over Kim Richards erupted. Poor gays – always the bottoms, never the tops!
Before I continue with this recap I have two points to make:
1) Can we stop with the “My gays”? No one has “gays!” Just like no one has “heteros!” I loathe the so-called possession and ownership of “gays.” Gay people are just people, who are not ubiquitously defined by their sexuality no matter what Real Housewives want us to think. Plus, whatever “gays” Kyle has cobbled together, they clearly do not love her that much to let her dress that bad! Maybe it’s passive-aggressive payback for her leading them around LA referring to them as My Gay 1, My Gay Blonde, My Gay Ladysitter…
2) Why the hell would anyone fight for possession of “My Kim”? They do realize Kims come with Kingsley. And also, at the end of the day (HA!), it’s still Kim – who is praying to a trashcan and speaking gobbledy-goop, insisting it’s a language you just haven’t learned yet! It’s just Kim taking cancer medication as a fun-zany experiment while she accidentally smokes a dildo because she confused it with the e-cigarette she bought from that kiosk in the mall, on Tuesday, errrrr… I mean Wednesday, errrr… I mean during the 9, uhhhh 7, uuummmm 5 days she was in Promises Malibu the hospital working on her tan!
Since Brandi Glanville, Ian Ziering, Kenya Moore and Johnny Damon were in NYC to do interviews on the Today show yesterday morning, Donald Trump threw them a “bloodbath” Celebrity Apprentice party at Trump Tower last night. Is it weird to throw a party for the four people you kicked to the curb? Especially when two of the fired contestants can hardly stand to be in the same room?
At the event last night Kenyaspoke to E! news about the showdown with Vivica A. Fox, “If you know Vivica, you know that’s who she really is. I think she’s proud of it, so it’s not like I’m saying something that isn’t the truth. She really prides herself on being ghetto. You heard her say she’s ghetto fabulous. I think in her generation, it was cool to say those types of things or brag about somebody being physically attacked like they deserved it, it’s embarrassing behavior.” She hopes young viewers of the show know that’s not the way to behave. She also says what we saw on TV was mild and tame. Kenya says “I was just afraid she was going to try to fight someone. I’ve seen her blow up at Kate, just seen her display some really intensive anger.”
CHECK OUT THE PICS AND QUOTES FROM THE PARTY BELOW
Just when you think things can’t get any worse between Brandi and Kyle Richards, Brandi threatens to knock Kyle’s teeth out, continues to meddle in Kyle and Kim’s relationship and takes a low blow at Kyle’s marriage to Mauricio Umansky.
Tonight Lisa Vanderpump and Ken Todd will also face the tough decision whether to divulge to son Max the names of his birth parents.
CLICK CONTINUE READING TO SEE A CLIP OF TONIGHT’S EPISODE
Last night Celebrity Apprentice lost two Housewives, a former MLB player with a secret jingle-writing hobby, an I-anfant the Terrible, and Vivica A Fox‘s phone. Donald Trump needs to get organized over there!
In the first challenge the teams create a photobomb campaign of King’s Hawaiian bread in NYC. Geraldo Rivera is momentarily silent, still trapped in the hyper-alert mindset of Vivica and Kenya Moore‘s war. He compares working with those two to being in Afghanistan. I’ve never been to Afghanistan but after the many-years reign of terror Krayonce has inflicted upon me, I can attest to needing therapy. Naturally Kenya announces herself project manager.
On the other team Johnny Damon rises to the occasion. Which, thanks to Brandi Glanville‘s dirty mind, also becomes their slogan. Hey – someone had to stop Ian Ziering from composing a 45-minute sermon of 1984’s best marketing catchphrases. He has watched a few episodes of Mad Men, which makes him an expert.
