Oh dear! We're on Real Housewives War, Vol 2 million. Last week comedian Chelsea Handler had a rather lackluster and brutal appearance on Watch What Happens Live. She openly told Andy Cohen that his brainchild, The Real Housewives franchise, was awful.
"I think that franchise is kind of a terrible thing," Chelsea remarked to Andy. "Women shouldn't be making money off of the fact that they have fake books, fake vaginas, fake whatever. I actually don't support that."
When Andy reminded her that she'd had some Housewives as guests, Chelsea quickly clarified she had "one," Bethenny Frankel. "Not even Brandi Glanville," Chelsea pointed out.
"I love the Housewives," Chelsea quipped sarcastically. Ironically for someone complaining about how fake the Housewives are, Chelsea dear has had a whole lotta botox. Dang girl – surprised you can move that mouth slapped into the middle of a too-tight shiny face.
Last night on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills the ladies left Paris. They returned to the BH where the antics picked up where they left off and we learned Faye Resnick hadn't fallen off the face of the earth in their stead but instead was just waiting frozen faced and clammy in the cryogenic chamber for their return.
Splits Richards opened her very own boutique cause she's bored all day and if Kathy Hilton did it why can't she? And oh yeah – Taylor Armstrong got a rude awakening! Sweet justice.
Things begin with Splits waltzing onto the Ledo Deck in a full-on circus tent refashioned into a skirt. Apparently said skirt, a cacophony of patterns and colors, is available for $900 at her store. Oh, Kyle… at least you never lose hope! There's that right? I was a wee bit disappointed she didn't hop onto the mast for a full-flying Titanic rendition.
And why not – Brandi is hot! Gerard confessed to the hookup on Howard Stern, of course. When asked if he slept with her last year, Gerard famously replied "Who's Brandi Glanville" prompting many people to accuse her of lying.
Apparently Adrienne has continued her vengeance proximity to Lisa Vanderpump by deciding to open a new restaurant on mere streets away from Lisa's Villa Blanca. Is she hiring Bernie to fry up some scandalous accusations?
Adrienne has also been butchering Lisa's business; declaring her new venture a "10" while dismissing Lisa's well-established restaurant as "a disaster" and rating it a "2." Adrienne is even turning it into a competition with Lisa according to TMZ, telling associates she is going to "kick her ass!"
On last night's Real Housewives of Beverly Hills I was a little tad bit disappointed in Lisa Vanderpump. I want her to be unimpeachable. I want her to be pristine. I must accept – as we must all – that Lisa is only human. Lisa made a passive aggressive Splits Richards-esque comment toKim Richards (whom I will henceforth refer to as Rambles) because she was late to a cooking party.
Lisa joked this would be a repeat of Hawaii when everyone spent the whole trip waiting on Rambles. Then she asked if Kim took a sleeping pill. It was no bueno. Lisa said it, of course, in a teasing tone but Rambles got defensive and petulent. I know Lisa meant no harm and she is direct, but Kim is vulnerable (and a walking emotional volcano).
Lisa spent the entire evening discussing the Kim situation with Kyle and Mauricio instead of coming up to Kim and saying 'Look, I'm sorry. It was an inappropriate joke.' No instead she told everyone she had hurt Kim's feelings and didn't really know why or what to do. And Rambles complained that Lisa was "fake" and was trying to make her look bad.
Their lament: the way the show is set up (i.e. it being a REALITY show) other cast members can say anything about anyone on the show and get away with it even if it's mean, hurts their feelings, or is allegedly, possibly a deep dark secret that no one wants revealed and is being lied about.
The often brash and outspoken Brandi is finally seeing some things go right in her world as Drinking and Tweeting maintains the top spot on the New York Times Bestseller List. It's even the bestselling e-book according to the NYT! It seems Brandi relates to a vast audience, and it's no shocker that she gives the best and most practical advice. Don't believe me? Read on!