Last night we welcomed Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills season 5! Yay! Although some things have changed – LISA RINNA IS HERE! – many things have stayed the same. Lisa Vanderpump is still fabulous and everyone is blaming her for being so, while pretending they are SO OVER that Lisa is able to get away with being snooty, snippy, and a little dismissive because she’s fun and glamorous, and pink – like a pussy!
Also, staying the same, although looking a bit more, shall we say, tweaked – is Brandi Glanville! Brandi’s face is ’bout to freeze in the the sour lemon sneer if she don’t shape up, because she is getting more bitter by the second. Brandi wants everyone to forget that she led last season’s mutiny against Lisa – correction: she wants Lisa to forget, but she also wants Lisa to accept that it was her fault that Brandi was forced to do it.
Things I realize about Brandi: she just can’t be happy, she doesn’t want to grow-up. She must have drama, and she’s only all about the truth and people owning up when it’s about other people.
Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills is back, but before we welcome the new, let’s recap the old! In season 4 the cast tried to tackle issues of betrayal, religion, and race mixed with diamonds, rosé and glamorous vacations. It didn’t work.
They also tried to drastically alter the status quo by staging a coup against Lisa Vanderpump. That also didn’t work. But it did teach us a very important lesson about intergalactic geography: Brandi Glanville is an alien invader from Planet Trash! That explains everything…
Last season introduced us to one-failure-wonders, Carlton Gebbia and Joyce Giraud (or shall we call her Hoyce, depending on how much we’ve had to drink?). Carlton made her storyline about how she was the living embodiment of all the bored middle-aged ladies yearning for their husbands to become Christian Grey, but instead they got stuck with Mr. Green who is working his boring job to pay for boob jobs, instead of tying them up with twist-ties and beating them with bananas atop the Etruscan marble breakfast nook while the maid vacuums in the background. Carlton decided to prove that a gal can have both by building a parents playroom (with the help of her icky nanny) and taking her MIL to the Hustler store for bikinis.
Love her or hate her, you cannot deny that Kenya Moore isn’t afraid to speak her mind. Personally, I really enjoy the oh so shady and slightly unbalanced Real Housewives of Atlanta star. <backs away slowly> I’ll show myself out for that admission, but before I go, I leave you with The Name Game with Kenya.
When asked what first comes to mind about NeNe Leakes, Kenya mimicked her egomaniacal RHOA co-star, “Oh, honey. NeNe Leakes, honey. When you talk about NeNe Leakes, see, I’m above all these women, see. I am part of Real Housewives of Atlanta, see, but I have evolved. I am a rich bitch. OMG, I just pulled my wig off! Bloop!”
Our favorite reality TV stars cannot get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to social media to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here’s a roundup of some of our favorite photos from this week. Enjoy!
So, where was Brandi? In Australia! And why would Brandi be in Australia the week her reality show premieres, thus skipping the premiere party? Is it because she does not get along with any of her castmates?
Kyle Richards posted a series of photos on twitter and instagram, that show even ‘extra’ Camille Grammer was present. Kyle also posted a ‘cast photo’ of the ladies, in which she tagged the entire cast – except Brandi! “The #RHOBH girls #season5.” Nor did anyone tweet a ‘missing Brandi at the season 5 premiere party’ type comment!
“I see her all the time,” the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills star reveals. “I drop the kids off at their house, we go to graduations together, soccer together – we’re always around each other. I really am at peace with it.”
Of course not! But since the season doesn’t even start airing until January, I am a bit surprised that the claws are already coming out between these two. Plus, contestant Kate Gosselin says takes her strong personality off the table from the very beginning.