If you've been peeking at twitter lately, you'll notice that three certain famewhores are all promoting the same event! Curious, yet? It seems the rumors are true that Kenya Moore, Brandi Glanville, and Kate Gosselin have joined Celebrity Apprentice! I feel anxious already.
Brandi has been blowing up her twitter feed advertising free hot cocoa and the opportunity to buy a pie today in NYC. I could definitely see an enraged Lisa Vanderpump fan throwing a pie in Brandi's face! And she is not alone.
Kenya announced, "Free hot cocoa and pie a celebrity in the face?!? DONT MISS IT!!! #CharityPieFace " As for Kate, she probably deserves at least 8 pies in the face. I'll volunteer. She also advertised the same charity event. Where are her kids? Wonder if Jon is on daddy duty.
Reunions… so draining! There is rarely any fresh drama, there is a lot of preening about how certain slights are the worst slights ever-ever, while other people's feelings just cannot compare. And it's just a lot of back-n-forth nonsense. Even Andy Cohen was visibly annoyed last night. Clearly he has reached the same point the rest of us have with the Richards sisters, meaning just stop whining! Go do your splits and rambles on another show.
Before that Andy calls Brandi Glanville out on doing something to her cheeks. She denies all the fillers and claims her cheeks are real. She makes Kim touch them. Kim tentatively reaches a trembly hand out and pokes gently, before laughing nervously about how it feels like skin. Like her werepuppy. I feel like this is the first human contact Kim has had since the late-90's. Andy side-eyes Brandi.
"I don't know whether I am staying," Lisaadmits to RadarOnline. “Everyone wants to stay, but I don’t know. I have a lot to consider I am opening a new business, I have Vanderpump Rules and let’s see if they both get picked up and let Bravo make the decision and offer and see where we go from there.”
Lisa cites the direction the show took this season has been a major consideration. "If it becomes about a bitch fest then it is not something I signed up for; but if it becomes about documenting my life, which is the show I signed up for and having fun and supporting women that is something I want to do," Lisa explains. “But the way the show was in the end, the last episodes, that is not something I would care to repeat. I don’t know right now I have to be honest."
Taking to her Bravo blog, Joyce begins, "Hola MisAmores! Last night was my Queen of the Universe event, and I am so happy with the turnout. We had a full house of supportive and loving friends, family, and fans. I am truly thankful!!! I want to especially thank my beautiful friends and Housewives, Kyle [Richards] and Lisa, who supported me. It meant the world to me that you were there and served as judges to decide the Queen of the Universe 2014," adding, "Last week I told you all that I would make an announcement at my event. I am proud to say that all the hard work and the efforts in my charity will pay off this year as I am opening my first Kindergarten for children in need in Senegal, Africa. Like I said last night at my event, I can't wait to see the smiles of all the children who so deserve a chance to a better future, which we can only grant them through education. That has always been my dream and I thank God that soon it will become a reality."
In her Bravo blog, Lisa Vanderpump dives right in on the first part of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion. What's better than your everyday fabulous Lisa? A Lisa that's snarky, pissed off, and not going to take it anymore! After her co-stars unsuccessfully tried to vilify her this season, Lisa has decided to take off her gloves and come out swinging. She spends the majority of her diatribe chastising Yolanda Foster for crying about Hollywood friends, but she saves her best jabs for former friend Brandi Glanville…and the best part? She never even gives Brandi the recognition by using her name. It's perfection.
The RHOBH star begins, "Hello to you all again. An earthquake this morning. That was pretty violent as things crashed around us, seems to be an indication of what lies ahead today.And here we have the first part of the trilogy that wraps up our fourth season, a season that will forever be etched in my mind as where you have all been promised to see the exposé of my true character…"
After opining about her shopping trip to Crystals 'R Us to stock up calming objects to combat the negativity of the reunion (all of the women should have followed her lead!), Carlton begins her Bravo blog, "Let's face it, I think I have said all I have had to say this whole bloody season. Nothing held back. I really don't want to repeat it again. Honestly I have no regrets. I've said everything that was on my mind. Made it abundantly clear who I like and who are trolls that belong under a bridge. I wished deep in my heart that you had truly gotten an enlightened view about my faith and beliefs, without the dumb background music. Introduced you properly to my incredible husband and family on the level that I deal with everyday, my beautiful and talented girlfriends who I love and only want the very f—ing best for, and my gorgeous nanny who I trust the lives with all of our three children."
Since it was mostly a bunch of squabbling about tit-for-tat and tampon strings, let's make this quick and dirty! I'm gonna start by paying Snarlton Gebbia a compliment. She looks good! Less Wicked Witch Of The Tanning Bed and more Human Flesh who feasts on food and not the blood of innocents.
Right out of the gate Lisa Vanderpump and Brandi Glanville are at it over whether or not Lisa lived in Calabasas at some point and filed for bankruptcy. Lisa says no, but according to the $9.99 background check Brandi did on www.stalkurfriends.com (the same site that tricks you into thinking you'll be able to see who's reading your FB page!) Lisa like so did have an address in the valley. Lisa rolls her eyes. Then Brandi claims SPLITS Richards told her about the Kalatrashass living and Ken's financial past.
Brandi lashed out in response, tweeting, "Dear random people or person who has time 2 make up a petition about me a-thanks for keeping me in the news B-dont we have whales to save?" Of course it's doubtful that a few thousand fans would make any impact on what the network decides. However, the incredibly low ratings this season could!