If ever there was a reason for Sig Hansen to finally speak on Celebrity Apprentice, it was while captaining a booze cruise around New York City. Unfortunately someone had to walk the plank! I say I’m fabulous, but The Donald says you’re fired! Now Twirl. Twirl. Twirl. Twirl. Dizzy yet?
CA is moving full-speed ahead through a series of rapid eliminations as they prepare for their LIVE two-hour finale (when editing and producers cannot control the full-scale unleashed crazy of Kenya “Krayonce” Moore and Brandi “Boozdi” Glanville!).
So let’s talk Krayonce, shall we. Oooooh boy! Everybody knows I do not particularly care for the wheels off the underground railroad train that is Kenya’s runaway antics. As someone said on twitter (bless you) “TooFar” is Kenya’s middle name. While I have to appreciate her, shall we say, passionate nature, Kenya always goes OVERBOARD. Last night was the ultimate converging of “Real Housewives Of Atlanta Kenya” and “attempting to revamp my image sophisticated CA Kenya.” Somewhere, Donald Trump and Andy Cohen are in a PTSD clinic, known as WWHL, guzzling a much-needed drink. We’ll cover all the Kenyanigans later.
Brandi had three sets of guests on her hour long podcast today (which aired a day earlier than usual, but it sounds like she may have yet another one posted tomorrow, too). First up was her hair dresser Mark who dished with her on Kyle since he sees all of the behind the scenes drama while the show is filming. He also shared a blip about losing weight during a divorce, to which Brandi quipped that she needed to lose some weight, too. The delusion is strong.
She then gets straight into bashing co-star Kyle. “I have something to say about Kyle Richards. She’s a bitch. On Watch What Happens Live, which I did not watch on purpose because I knew I would Tweet it and say something that I would regret. She said that I have nothing to do with her family the Hiltons. That’s funny because I was at Kathy Hilton’s holiday party with Kim and you weren’t there, bitch! I don’t even know if you got the invite. So, having said that, yeah. She can suck it.”
Eileen Davidson knows from many years of experience on soap operas that it’s best to keep your distance when dealing with a psychotic uber-villain, a family drama, or a former celebrity on a bender. But unfortunately she accidentally welcomed that mayhem in her home!
“Vincent and I thought it would be fun and different to have a poker tournament with the ladies,” explains the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills star. “We’ve done parties like this before, and it really can be such a good time…so much for that. Vincent tried so hard to keep things light and fun, but the wheels started falling off the bus right away.”
“I think this episode should be renamed AWKWARD,” shared Kim. “The events that happened were definitely tough on a personal level, but at the same time, I can’t help but have a laugh about it in the end.” Huh. I missed the funny parts.
“Newsflash: I’M NOT SOBER,” blogged Brandi. We could stop here because that’s where Brandi’s “real” ends. But, she added, “And fantasies are just that – fantasies. I’ve just about HAD IT with these judgmental women that pretend to be perfect and think they do no wrong. Spa day was fine other than the uncomfortable wine tasting, but I tried to tell some jokes to loosen the mood.”
Kyle said poker night felt “extremely uncomfortable” from the very beginning. “I could see Kim was ‘off’ but wasn’t quite sure how to handle the situation. One thing that was very clear to me watching this is that Brandi is not my friend. Never has been. I have tried to give her the benefit of the doubt but always kept her at arms length. To see her pretending to be friends with me in the car ride to Eileen‘s then turning on me made things abundantly clear to me. Brandi can’t be a friend to anyone. Including my sister.”
Other than habitual mind games, I’m just gonna go ahead and declare that Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills should swear off game nights. The first one ended with a woman on crutches losing her crutches and being called a “slut pig” (holy foreshadowing metaphors at work there), and this latest one involved one woman almost needing crutches after being shoved down the stairs with a piece of pizza. Andy Cohen is redefining class for the modern age!
It all starts out innocently enough, Kyle Richards plans a spa day and the girls put on an odd assortment of outfits ranging from soccer mom at Target to ladies who lunch at Bergdorffs. (Lisa Vanderpump has been suffering from an over-dressing problem lately. Brandi Glanville has been suffering from a combo of under-dress/not wearing enough clothes problem).
Yolanda Foster is skipping this wonderful event, because despite being not being able to read, nor write, nor watch TV, she is in NYC micromanaging Gigi and Bella’s modeling careers and zipping around the globe hot on My Love‘s tail. YoFridgidaire is also seriously trying to make the stupid ‘Tile of Love’ walls happen because she sends Kyle a photo of her posed in front of the magnificent one the housekeepers made for Bella’s new apartment. I shade, but those Hadid girls are beyond beautiful and seem to have a really sweet relationship.