Last night’s season premiere of Survivor: One World definitely brought the twists. This go-round, the castaways are back in the South Pacific. However, it’s boys versus girls with both tribes sharing the same beach. It should be very interesting! (After watching and blogging, I have to say I am super excited about this season. They are mixing up the game, and I love it. Mee. Yow.)

The group meets Jeff Probst, and he immediately asks Kourtney, a woman wearing a jaunty Shamu-inspired knitted skull cap, where she fits in with her fellow Survivors. Her answer? Nowhere. Looks like someone isn’t forming alliances right off the bat! A guy wearing a sweater that Brad Goreski has seemingly tossed casually around his fashionable shoulders–he later calls himself the girl in the guys’ tribe–finds the group to be good looking, although not as handsome as himself. Another man named Greg who has dubbed himself Tarzan is ready to throw down island style.

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Jeff breaks up the teams so they resemble the gym floor at a sixth grade dance. The women are introducing themselves to each other while the men look like they were just put in a cage. The men’s tribe will be the orange team and are given the name Manano. The ladies are blue (glad to see we aren’t sticking to regular gender-role colors here…that would be too 1950s), and they are hailed the Salami Salani.

Their first challenge is to strip whatever rations they can off a truck that has definitely seen better days…in sixty seconds. Assessing their spoils the women realize that the men have stolen their axe. Jeff relays that there is no Redemption Island this season (thank goodness – that was over-played, over-witted, and over-lasted). He hands both tribes a map to their new home and he and his pearly whites head back to his luxury hut with its infinity pool. The men are struggling to carry their plethora of rations to their camp. The strongest team player so far seems to be Leif, a little person with big muscles. With the women, Orca can’t carry all her supplies. She’s worried about the potential cattiness of an all-girls group. Duh, we all went to middle school. Watching her tribe members stumble through the jungle, outspoken Alicia is already figuring out her alliance.

The women, of course, are first to arrive at camp. They are both excited and bewildered to see the Manano flag just yards from their own. The men arrive, and sushi chef Jonas doesn’t know what to think. The production team has let loose some chickens on the beach and the tribes attempt to work together to catch the foul fowl. I love a homonym! Chelsea, who must be a farmer in her non-Survivor life, catches both chickens. She made a deal with a very douchey attorney (thanks, Matt, for yet another reason people hate lawyers) to split the chicken catch. However, after she was the hen hero–and learned the guys stole from their truck rations–she keeps both chickens as a bartering tool. They may need some help building shelter. Payment, one chicken. Matt doesn’t care how hot she is, he is mad. Litigious mad. I think we’ll be seeing Matt on an upcoming Bachelorette season. Anyone want to put some money on that?

Colton, aka the guy with the sweater shawl, is quickly becoming biffles with Salani. Attorney Matt knew right off the bat that Colton is gay. He hopes Colton will be able to adapt to working with all the manly men. I hope that Matt will be able to adapt without hair gel and microfiber tees for twenty-four hours. Colton is quick to try to make friends with the ladies, hinting he may need an idol stat. Matt, who is so masculine and so outdoorsy, aligns himself with like-minded macho studs that wear designer jeans on a deserted island and wax every last hair off of their bodies. Like all manly men do. Greg Tarzan, the Texas plastic surgeon, seems to be the only dude sporting any kind of chest hair, and God love him for that. I also must point out the irony of it.

I hear a voiceover that reminds me of Brandon Hantz. Thankfully, it’s not. I thought this for two reasons: 1) said voice seems to be down on the hot ladies (we all know how BHCP felt about the flesh), and 2) if not for the twang, it would be the same cadence, tone, and pitch of Russell’s nephew. Imagine my shock (and initial disappointment) when the voice is connected to the hot (and of course hairless) model Jay. After a quick internet search, I find out this “model” lives 45 minutes up the interstate from me in a town known for its outlet mall and giant peach-shaped (read: orange butt if you’re a middle schooler) water tower. #Gaffney

The men are quick to start a fire, and the women hope to trade a chicken in exchange for an ember. Another dude, Troy, who has aptly taken on the nickname Troyzan, points out that it’s day-one–the men aren’t hungry yet–and they certainly aren’t charming. They have no need for a chicken. No fire for you, ladies! The swimsuit photographer (also sans chest hair – is this season sponsored by Body Rogaine?) also cops to being fifty, so he’s not quick to fall for feminine wiles. And by feminine wiles, I mean he could not care less about the ladies’ “tater sets” even if they are willing to pole dance naked on a piece of bamboo. Is it just me, or does Troyzan resemble Coach?

The women are still without fire as night falls. It’s hard to bond slumber party style when you can’t see one another. Two girls, Cat and Kimberly (I think…she looks eerily like Taylor Armstrong in the night vision camera) head to Manalo to flirt for fire. Hairless banker Michael seems to be falling for their girly tricks until Gaffney Jay and his twang interrupt the sorority party. THE GUYS DON’T HELP THE GIRLS! Down, but not out, the ladies wait until the gentlemen are snoozing before sneaking over to the other camp to swipe some hot embers. Can I get a “girl power!”?

The women and their dying fire are enjoying a pineapple breakfast. Dr. Oz would be proud. Christina realizes that the women need to put pride aside to get some flames from the male tribe. She isn’t looking for friends, she’s looking to play on the hormones of the Manano. She eloquently approaches the men who ask for forty woven palm fronds. Alicia is over Christina’s constant peace treaties. But the women are getting fire. Sabrina goes deep into the jungle to potty bathe and quickly finds a Manano immunity idol. Per the rules, she can’t keep it for herself. She must save someone from the men’s tribe at tribal council. Colton, party of one!

It’s immunity challenge time! Can I say again how thrilled I am that Redemption is a no-show this season? It’s clearly a circus challenge. The contestants must fall into a net, navigate a balance beam, and navigate a rope bridge. The first tribe to make it through the obstacle course and raise their flag will send the other tribe to council and win some fire-making flint. Each tribe cannot move on to the next obstacle until everyone on their tribe has finished the previous stunt. Orca hurts her wrist. The net drop is pretty severe, and the men have a substantial lead. Korcaney (that’s Kourtney and Orca, for those following along) feels like she’s about to pass out due to her injury.

The challenge is halted as medics are called in to assess the situation. It could be a broken wrist or a bad sprain. Basically, it appears to be a Survivor rain delay until x-rays can be taken. Jeff declares the men victorious, but he will allow them to keep playing as a gesture of goodwill to not be the hated ones. If they opt out of finishing, the women will receive the flint. The men choose immunity, and the women start the “bring it on” smack talking. No can do. The guys are finished and the girls will head to the first tribal council.

Nina is worried about Kourtney, but she’s disappointed that they didn’t finish the challenge. She’s also disappointed that she looks like she got punched in the face due to the net drop. Southern Kim isn’t used to dealing with men who don’t know the meaning of chivalry. Sabrina gives the idol to Colton in hopes of making a big move, with Colton knocking out Matt the first time the men face the torch snuff. He is beyond grateful. He hopes to slit Matt’s throat faster than Taylor Swift can write a song about an ex-boyfriend. The first part of his statement was a tad too Lord of the Flies for me, but the second part? Pure gold.

Sabrina tries to rally the women in voting off Kourtney. If her wrist is broken, or best case scenario badly sprained, what good is she to the Salani? Sabrina is sassy. I like her. Alicia has another person she wants on the chopping block. She has her sights set on Benedict Christina who keeps trying to get in good with the Manano. At tribal, Alicia admits that she is happy to be on a girls only tribe. Cat relays that everyone has an important role. Christina brags about bartering for fire, and Alicia is quick to call her out on her statement. It gets heated…and it’s not just the torches. Cat and the other women get very uncomfortable at the discord. Chelsea reveals that it’s pretty much every woman for herself when it come to strategy, chalking it up to the nature of women in general. Monica laughs, calling the ladies’ situation “total anarchy.” They have no clear leader.

Jeff updates the women on Kourtney’s situation. He has good news and bad news. Her wrist is broken in several places and will require surgery. From the feedback, I can’t tell if the women know what kind of news it is. Hint, it’s bad news. The good news is that no one from tribal will be going home…yet. Jeff pleads with the women to find some sort of structure before they are all sent packing.

Next week, the women continue to falter. Colton is playing on his own team, with the men thinking he’s total baggage. Even Sabrina, who gave him an immunity idol, calls him a “virus.” Yikes.

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE SURVIVOR PREMIERE? ARE YOU GLAD THAT REDEMPTION ISLAND GOT CANNED? WHO ARE YOUR FRONTRUNNERS? WHO ARE YOU READY TO SEE LEAVE THE ISLAND?

Somebody had to win. With fan favorite Oscar “Ozzy” Lusth just missing the final three last night on the finale of Survivor: South Pacific, fans were left with three lackluster surprising finalists!

First, Ozzy managed to fight his way back into the game after defeating Brandon Hantz in the last redemption island challenge setting up a final five which included Benjamin “Coach” Wade, Sophie Clarke, Rick Nelson and Albert Destrade.

Ozzy won the first challenge of the finale which led to Rick being voted off by the tribe. Unfortunately for Ozzy, he failed to come through when it mattered the most as Sophie ended up winning the final challenge. Ozzy pleaded with Coach to force a tie, but the “honorable” Coach once again went back on his word by voting off Ozzy.

The jury members were obviously not pleased with the final 3, but somebody had to win. In the end, Sophie, a 22-year-old medical student from Willsboro, New York, was declared the ultimate winner of Survivor: South Pacific! Sophie received 6 of the 9 jury votes to beat Coach. Unfortunately for Albert, he failed to receive any votes.

Ozzy — who won eight Redemption Island challenges — was able to walk away with $100,000 as the season’s fan favorite!

“I think that right away, I started sizing people up. You saw me do it with [Brandon Hantz],” said Sophie after her win. “I think I had my finger on the pulse of the game the whole time and I tried to just figure out other people’s motivations and kind of worked within the framework of the game.”

During the live reunion show host Jeff Probst announced the 24th season of the show, titled Survivor: One World, which will begin airing in February. Jeff also teased a season with Brandon and his uncle/ultimate villain Russell Hantz! Now that would be something to watch no?

TELL US – THOUGHTS ON THE SURVIVOR FINALE? GLAD SOPHIE WON OR WERE YOU DISAPPOINTED WITH THE FINAL 3? DO YOU WANT A SEASON WITH BOTH HANTZ MEN?

Once the final five head back to the beach, Brandon Hantz Crazy Pants leads the group — in what else? — a prayer. Benjamin Coach is excited to see the alliances within the alliance come into play. Albert is starting to worry that Sophie is proving to be a major competitor. His move is to cozy up to Rancher Rick, who he deems least dangerous. Albert considers himself a rogue beside Coach’s cult leader status.

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Ozzy and Edna rejoin the group to compete in their duel challenge. They must solve a slide puzzle which will reward them with a hatchet. Using the hatchet, they will release a bag filled with another cube puzzle, which is basically a reverse Rubik cube… no colors can be the same on any side. Ozzy quickly retrieves his hatchet and gets his cube puzzle. Albert is coaching Edna on how to complete the hatchet slide puzzle, which she does.

The pair is basically head to head now, as the cube puzzle is pretty confusing. Edna has the advantage as the Upolu is helping her every step of the way. I love that Jeff Probst keeps reiterating she is being assisted by the same people who voted her off — a.k.a. the same people that don’t want Ozzy to return to the game. In a heart-pounding second, Edna thinks she’s got it, but she has two reds showing on one side. Ozzy wins! In your face, Upolu! Edna happily burns her headband… I think she’s thrilled to get back to the comforts of modern day living.

Albert finally reveals what all the viewers are thinking… there isn’t a lot of honor and integrity in a game where you strategize to vote off your allies. He hones in on BHCP in an effort to vote off Sophie. I must say it’s an excellent move because we all know by Brandon’s past rantings that he is as good as his word… unlike the rest of the remaining tribe members (Albert included). Sophie is very concerned about Ozzy on Redemption Island being the last person the most recently voted off player gets to see. She makes a very valid point — Ozzy feeds and comforts the person just thrown under the bus by their team mates, making for a very pro-Ozzy jury. She chides Coach into voting off BHCP and putting Ozzy with a loose cannon on Redemption Island.

Sophie and Coach discuss their plan with Rancher Rick, and now the player his tribe members claim to be “the most loyal and trustworthy” is on the chopping block. Albert then approaches Coach about getting rid of Sophie, as she is clearly a bigger threat than the puppet Brandon. Coach is unnerved seeing his former protege scramble so much. He finds Albert to be too wishy-washy… anything to justify his need to control his minions. Coach tells Albert he wants to get rid of BHCP, who immediately approaches the pair wondering what they are discussing. When Coach lies and says they are talking about jury votes, he then accuses Brandon of bullying him much like Uncle Russell. Brandon’s actions (I must have missed something? The kid just wanted a hug!) serve as confirmation to Coach that BHCP needs to get the heck out of dodge.

It’s immunity challenge time! Wow, these things just get more and more complicated each week! Here’s the gist… each player must climb up a steep wall collecting a bag of puzzle pieces along the way. There are five bags, but only one can be released at a time. After the player has all five bags, he or she must complete a puzzle which pairs matching pieces together. Three of the pieces will not have a mate. Once the player determines those outcast tiles, the tiles are to be turned over revealing a code. The player must then reclimb the wall, input the code into a box — unlocking it to raise a flag. Edna must be glad she missed this one! The reward is a delivered pizza, complete with soda and garlic bread. Done and done!

Brandon and Rick are in the lead with Albert trailing everyone. He takes a pretty big spill, but he’s still in the game. Sophie begins to slow down as Rick is the first to get all his puzzle pieces. Albert is still losing big time, but manages to pull ahead of Sophie before starting the puzzle. Rancher Rick is struggling with the puzzle as Brandon continues in the lead. He is the first to match his pieces and races to the top of the wall, barely beating out Coach. BHCP wins immunity! That’s going to throw a kink in a few folks’ plan. Brandon is allowed to invite only one teammate to share in his pizza. Rancher Rick is the lucky guy. Coach has some serious insane eyes when discussing how pissed he is that Brandon received a divine intervention. Whoa, I mean serious crazy eyes… perhaps I misnamed Brandon as Crazy Pants.

Ah. May. Zing. The pizza delivery comes via jet ski. Sophie and Coach Crazy Eyes are downtrodden, but they both now see Albert as the target, mainly because he is getting on Sophie’s nerves. She heads over to Rancher Rick and BHCP to “smell the pizza” so Albert knows he’s being discussed. Rick throws ol’ Albert under the bus, saying he’d approached him earlier about going together to the end. But wait, thinks BHCP, that’s what he said to me! Brandon needs to get to the bottom of Albert’s sneakiness after Sophie and Rancher Rick say they are casting their votes for Al at tribal council.

Brandon approaches Albert, and Albert and Rick get into it. BHCP can’t believe that Albert would lie to him and Albert is upset that Brandon is take the Rancher’s word over his. Sophie is watching it all implode as her breast is blurred out (thankfully) for the viewing public. Albert is working overtime to insure that BHCP has his back. After some thought, Brandon prays over Albert and offers his immunity necklace in order to keep him around. What? I totes didn’t mis-nickname this kid.

Of course, Brandon feels the need to confess his decision to tribe’s self-proclaimed father. He preaches a wonderful sermon to Coach about forgiveness, and Coach is rocked to his core. When did this show become such a dramatic battle between good and evil? It’s a med student, a rancher, a dating/basketball coach and these two dudes. It’s not Dante’s Inferno! “My soul has never grieved like it does in this moment,” laments Coach after a montage of prayer. No words from this gal!

At tribal council, the jury is looking freshly washed as Brandon immediately gives up his immunity necklace. Marijuana Jim (I’ve missed your immature, arrogant self!) is dumbfounded. Rancher Rick rolls his eyes while Coach looks to the Heavens. BHCP ceremoniously places it around Albert’s neck. Jeff probes about Brandon’s decision and Coach voices his disgust. BHCP reveals his gang past where his loyalty was often misused. I think Albert seems humbled, but he may just be a great actor. Jeff challenges Albert to make the same sacrifice for Brandon, but Albert feels like Brandon’s safe so there is no need to relinquish the immunity necklace.

Sophie doesn’t trust Albert as far as she can throw him, and Rancher Rick accidentally reveals that Coach has the immunity idol so he’s probably not going anywhere. Things aren’t looking too hot for Brandon at this point. Albert tells Jeff that he believes a now nervous Brandon is fine, so he’s going to keep the necklace. Brandon admits he thinks it’s his time, while Coach remembers his prayer time from earlier and knows the decision he must make. Coach is at complete peace, while Brandon is far from feeling peaceful. The jury is getting a great show at this tribal council!

Brandon and Albert both vote for Sophie with Rick; Sophie votes for Brandon. Coach is the deciding factor. Catch you later, Brandon! Geez, Rancher Rick, I hope that pizza tasted traitor-iffic good. Of course, Coach wins BHCP’s forgiveness by telling him it’s God’s will for him to win Redemption. Albert finds himself in an unstable situation,and Jeff reveals that the winner of Ozzy and Brandon’s duel will be back in the game.

This Sunday on the two hour season finale, Albert is basically excommunicated from his tribe.

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE? DID BRANDON MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE? WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF ALL COACH’S PRAYING, AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, WHO DO YOU THINK WILL WIN?

Cochran joins Ozzy who doesn’t say “I told you so” but asks for Cochran’s support when/if he and Coach are the final two. Cochran is insulted that Ozzy already thinks he has to chance to win the duel.

Back at camp tensions are running high after Brandon’s ridiculous honesty rant at the most recent tribal council. What else is new? BHCP wants to bless the day, but Edna walks off in a huff since she’s “not really part of this tribe.” Edna feels duped by a bunch of people who are talking about on both sides of their mouths. She feels foolish, but BHCP is kind enough to pray for her. Edna is venting to Coach about Brandon while he arrives screaming he’s found some Sprint tree-mail.

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The Te Tuna get to watch videos of their family members and the always silent and stoic Rancher Rick is trying not cry as his precious wife sends him a cheery message. All of the tribe members are beyond touched by the video letters from their loved ones who reveal they are on the island. Brandon breaks down watching his father’s message.

It’s time for Cochran and Ozzy to battle it out in the Redemption Island duel. The competitors must use hooks to lure in bags containing cue balls which then are loaded in a mousetrap game type maze contraption. The first player to get their ball to the middle of the maze wins. Ozzy is quickly working on the maze while Cochran is trying to scrounge for his bags. Cochran is catching up quickly, and Ozzy’s ball drops right before it gets to the center. The same happens to Cochran. Editing-wise, it may be the closest duel ever, but Ozzy wins by a hair. Cochran leaves with the exuberance that he brought to the island — had he maintained this throughout, maybe his fate would have been different.

Ozzy’s win comes with a giant decision. One by one the Te Tuna are reunited briefly with their family member. Coach’s brother is his clean-cut doppleganger. They are like an Oprah make-over before and after. Each mini-reunion is very emotional, and Ozzy is tasked with giving one of the Te Tuna more time with his of her family member. He quickly chooses Albert. But wait, Jeff directs him to pick two more of the former Upolu to hang out with their loved one. Strategically, he picks Coach and BHCP. Sophie, Edna and Rancher Rick must head back to camp alone. The chosen are off to spend the day on Redemption Island, while CBS plugs more Sprint products.

Coach hopes Ozzy doesn’t think he’s going to be won over just because Ozzy allowed him to spend time with his brother. He wants to talk to the other Survivor veteran off the record. Coach promises Ozzy as “a Christian man” that if Ozzy wins his way back into the game, Ozzy will take him to the final three. BHCP tells his father that he’s going to change the focus of the game… he’s going to be honest, he’s going to play for God, and he’s going to spit on the million dollars. Um… his father is onboard for the first two. While Dad Crazy Pants thinks it’s great that his son is playing with Christian values, he doesn’t want his son to lose sight of the actual prize because, hey, surely he’ll get a cut, right? He tells Brandon as much to no avail and decides his best option is to approach Coach. Coach feels like he’s being bullied/bribed by Russell’s brother. He isn’t sure he wants such a loose cannon in his final three alliance.

This is the first immunity challenge purely pitting Upolu versus Upolu. The game is like a giant game of mahjong, where the castaways must cross a giant puzzle, but if they run out of moves they are out of the game. Albert is the first one out followed by BHCP, who just can’t seem to keep his mouth closed. He reveals that he strategically ran out of options (sure he did) in an effort to limit “a certain player’s” moves. Edna’s had enough. She fills in Jeff on how she is now the Upolu outcast. It comes down to Coach and Edna with Coach winning immunity, but not before Edna warns her former friends that it is going to become an individual game for them once she is gone. “Help a sister out, Coach,” Edna taunts as Coach puts on the necklace. BHCP hopes he didn’t put his foot in his mouth one too many times.

Sophie and Rancher Rick think that BHCP’s comment to Edna during the immunity challenge was the equivalent of kicking a puppy, as she was going to be voted off anyway. He apologizes slightly insincerely, and Edna compares his apology to an abusive husband buying his wife a diamond necklace after a fight. Well… I’m going to put it out there that the two situations are in no way comparable, but I do agree with Sophie who thinks Brandon considering an apology alleviates him from all culpability. She is the first to admit that her team mates aren’t nearly as forgiving as Jesus.

Edna makes a last ditch attempt to convince Albert, Coach, and Sophie that she is a much better person to go to the end with than the unpredictable BHCP. Coach thinks that she made a pretty convincing argument, but he draws the line when asked if he’d consider saving her with his idol. Both Albert and Sophie seem to be onboard with getting rid of Brandon when Edna assures them that Coach is one hundred percent about saving her. Wow, the Savaii jury looks clean and well-fed. Edna tells Jeff that she’s targeting BHCP because he knows nothing about honor and integrity — the tribe’s “mantra.” Brandon plays the martyr and Coach is even rolling his eyes.

It’s time for the final vote, and I honestly don’t know who will get snowed this time around… Edna or Brandon. Coach keeps his word and DOES NOT save Edna with his immunity idol. Wow. The team saves Crazy Pants! I hope Edna comes back to the jury spitting mad and I want to pop her for hugging Coach on her way out… doesn’t she realize he’s behind all of this?

Next week, Albert is butting heads with his tribe members, and does Edna beat Ozzy at the Redemption duel??

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE? DID OZZY MAKE GOOD STRATEGIC DECISIONS WHEN REUNITING FAMILY MEMBERS? SHOULD THE TRIBE HAVE VOTED OFF EDNA? WHO DO YOU PREDICT WILL BE NEXT NOW THAT THE ALLIANCE HAS TO CRUMBLE?

The Te Tuna (mainly Coach) returns to camp ecstatic that the Savaii has been picked off one by one. Cochran is thankful for being adopted into the former Upolu tribe. He’s aware he is the seventh in a seemingly six strong alliance, but I’m certainly not counting him out seeing as he’s gotten this far.

Cochran is trying to solidify his place in the group by telling stories of his youth when he would prank call girls discussing sperm. Sophie is starting to think that maybe he’s not such a victim because he is proud of making such a bold move in the game. While Brandon Hantz Crazy Pants prays over the group, Cochran compares his new “family” to the Mansons. He calls them together to remind them of his sacrifice and he hopes that, with his birthday nearing, they will spare him now that it’s all about voting off their own. Coach wants to keep Cochran, but Sophie is keeping her loyalty to Edna.

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It’s dual time and once again a Savaii Redemption team is competing for safety. Ozzy, Whitney and Dawn must balance dishes on a contraption becoming more unstable as plates are added. I hope Ozzy’s exercise and diet on Redemption Island have prepared him for this carnival feat. Of course, secretly I’m pulling for Dawn, who I believe has truly played the game with a genuine heart.

The competitors look like Mad Hatters as they pile ceramic bowls and plates upon each other. Dawn yawns and almost loses her tower. Whitney looks like she’s just washing dishes while Ozzy’s face appears to be that of a surgeon performing heart surgery. I blink and Dawn’s pile goes crashing to the ground. She’s the newest member of the jury. Whitney wobbles her dishes a tad too much, and Ozzy remains the guy who isn’t going anywhere. Dawn is so proud of how far she’s come, and I honestly get teary at how exciting her journey has been. Damn you, Jeff Probst! I will say the Upolu seems pretty rattled by another Ozzy victory.

Sidebar, I love that the footage of Ozzy on Redemption Island makes it seem like he’s fishing along side sharks and barely maneuvering through sharp coral reefs. Ahh, the wonder of television. Back at Te Tuna, the bottom feeders Cochran and Edna are trying their darndest to remain relevant. Cochran volunteers for a fishing expedition while Edna opens a jungle dry cleaning establishment. Albert wonders what happened to “outwit, outplay, outlast.” He feels its become “out-clean, out-gather, out-organize.” The man makes a good point!

Cochran isn’t proving to be a stellar fish holder. He hopes the tribe won’t notice that the others actually caught said fish while he just held them. Edna is upset because she thinks Albert’s job in the tribe is to swing in the hammock and watch her work. She plants her worries in the ears of her former Upolu. Albert better be careful or the only thing he’ll be outwitting is the vending machine at the resort where CBS houses the jury. Even Rancher Rick is vocal about Albert’s laziness, and I’d forgotten he’s still on the show since he never opens his mouth.

Edna is worried that once the tribe votes off Cochran, she’ll be next in line. Coach doesn’t mince words when he agrees with her. While Coach wants to be “a man of integrity and a man of his word” he secretly wants to keep Edna and Cochran as they kiss his butt will never vote against him. Coach plays Mr. Miyagi to Cochran’s Daniel-San and takes him out for a special early morning tai chi lesson. The session is supposed to instill in Cochran the need, desire and will to win immunity.

CBS producers have clearly run out of ways to turn cruise ship games and kiddie obstacle courses into valid challenges, so we’re once again watching the contestants throw bean bags onto crates. The first ones to get three bean bags on their respective crates will proceed to catapult coconuts at scary looking masks. The winner wins a spa day, jungle style. Sophie cracks what perhaps may be the first sincere smile I’ve seen all season.

Everyone is pretty much on an even playing field. Sophie, Coach and Rancher Rick are really good with the bean bag toss. Albert is the first to make it to the catapult with Rick close behind. Only one other player can make it to the mask bashing portion of this challenge, and Sophie nails it. Fighting for immunity—and a massage—the trio launches coconuts left and right. Rancher Rick is a quiet force to be reckoned with. Albert and him are neck and neck.

Immunity goes to (Prince) Albert! Albert gets to choose a teammate to join him in the massage session, and not shockingly he chooses Coach. Truly shockingly, he gives up his own massage to Cochran, totally sacrificing his winnings. Cochran recently discussed his upcoming birthday and Albert wants to at least give him a birthday present. Smooth move if I do say so myself!

Cochran can’t decide if Albert’s kindness was because he wants a strategic partner or if he’s trying to prematurely squash some guilt before voting off Cochran. Dude, you’re getting a massage after thirty days in the wild… stop asking questions! WHAT? So, Cochran’s a giant birthday liar, as his occurred months earlier, but hey, it scored the little guy his first ever massage. That’s not right. Cochran approaches Albert to thank him for the massage and to plant a “vote out Rancher Rick” bug in his ear. He does the same with Edna, and both Cochran and Edna hope that Coach will join in their plight to rid the camp of RR. Where is BHCP? He totally needs to weigh in on this decision with an amount of crazy only he can bring.

When approached by Cochran about this plan, Coach pretends to be dismayed by the new turn of events. He is confused (sure) as to whether to remain loyal to his original alliance or to turn on Rancher Rick, which clearly makes Cochran the guy left holding the puppet strings. At tribal council, Cochran shows his true colors saying that he deserves to stay since he betrayed his original tribe. The jury has a collective eye-rolling/smile session. Edna all but breaks down, thinking that she’s next if Cochran leaves during this vote.

Welcome all of your craziness to the episode, BHCP! He declares his intent and his unwaivering loyalty to the original alliance. He tells Jeff that, just like they had decided in the beginning, his vote is for Cochran this week and Edna next week. Note to self, figure out how to get into a high stakes poker match with Brandon Hantz. BHCP is becoming unhinged as he tries to do all things admirably and not underhandedly.

Cochran feels that BHCP is a decent guy but a horrible strategist. He’s got most of the Upolu agreeing with him… except Sophie. She’s not buying what Cochran is selling, and is no fan of BHCP. Coach is the deciding vote as to whether Cochran (per the original Upolu alliance) or Rancher Rick (per Cochran’s scheming) is the next to bunk with Ozzy on Redemption Island. During the voting, Cochran looks very nervous, and rightfully so. His tai chi master clearly just sold him up the river. The poor kid is truly shocked.

Next week, ,Edna comes out of the shadows as one to watch and the former Upolu is looking at BHCP as, once again, the unstable guy. Cochran hopes he can win the Redemption duel against Ozzy. Mark my words, he will… just because that is what would be the most dramatic for the remainder of the season.

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE? SHOULD COCHRAN BE SHOCKED THAT HE WAS VOTED OFF AS “SEVENTH”? NO. IS THE UPOLU IMPLODING? WHO DO YOU THINK WILL BE NEXT?

Happy Thanksgiving!

Last night’s Survivor was a combination of never-before-seen footage, insights into alliances and background on the different castaways. In other words, CBS wants to draw out the season with an additional episode during the Thanksgiving holiday. No matter, it was entertaining and certainly shed some light on the current players of Te Tuna.

The episode begins contrasting each original tribes’ dynamics. The Savaii, led primarily by Ozzy, is a laid back, go-with-the-flow group, with Dawn and Cochran not fitting in as well as their counterparts. A scene is shown where Cochran, the only male not out fishing for the tribe, must gut the day’s catches. As a self-proclaimed PETA adherent, he has a hard time with this gig. Across the island, Coach’s focus is on creating a family bond while working hard to build a solid camp.

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Coach admits that if he had to choose a leader between Ozzy and him, he’d likely choose Ozzy due to his fishing skills. Footage of Coach’s newly forged friendship with Brandon Hantz Crazy Pants reveals that the two are both “men of their word”… except that at this point BHCP has yet to reveal he is the nephew of the diabolical and infamous Russell Hantz. Even early on, Sophie is wary of her teammate.

Papa Bear shares a soft spot for Cochran, hoping to be a sort of father figure/mojo guru to the slightly awkward law student. A scene is shown where Cochran practices his seduction skills on Whitney, who is giving just as much practical advice as Papa Bear, though their opinions are totally opposite. Where is Barney Stinson when you need him?

Because I didn’t want to vomit enough when I saw it the first time, the pig picking immunity challenge is revisited. The following day, Mikalya (you remember, the lingerie football star whose sexuality both angered and enticed BHCP) gets on Coach’s bad side –seriously — for using too much sugar in her coffee. Watching her selfishness disgusts him, so, knowing how much the pork challenge disgusted her, he roasts some fat in front of her and then fake dry heaves in her face. Um, what a stretch from the man of God that wants to foster a family on the island, but I can’t say I’m shocked.

Bom chicka bom wow… Elyse requests a story from Cochran while he swings her in a hammock. What story does he decide to tell? The one where he wore a diaper to kindergarten so he didn’t have waste his time going to use the actual facilities. It didn’t end well. I won’t elaborate.

At Upolu, Brandon’s meltdowns (plural of course) are highlighted. The tribe (minus Coach who seems to consider BHCP’s weaknesses as a plus for him) clearly sees him as a liability. Also showcased at Savaii is Keith and Whitney’s budding romance. I hope her husband isn’t watching… well, ex-husband now. Poor Cochran is stuck having so share a bamboo bunk with the frisky couple. Yikes.

Watching these extra scenes also brings to light a lot of Cochran bullying which seems worse than what was shown on the regular episodes. Cochran, however, doesn’t let his tribe mates’ (mainly Ozzy’s) poor behavior deter him from establishing himself as someone who plans to strategically make and break alliances throughout the course of the game. He even predicts his back-and-forth loyalty long before the merge.

Five-and-oh Christine loses to Ozzy in a Redemption Duel after he sacrifices himself in what is proclaimed to be the most dramatic rose ceremony ever crazy Survivor strategy ever. Once the tribes merge, Coach is dumbfounded to learn how lacking his veteran counterpart is in actual survivor skills… other than fishing. He’s disgusted to see how pathetic Savaii living was before the merge. After watching the Savaii sleeping in and (Ozzy’s twitching is priceless), Coach sees the opportunity to woo an isolated Cochran to the former Upolu. After comparing each Te Tuna tribe member to mythology, he knights Cochran as Hercules, the most dangerous and cunning player in the game. Coach dubs himself Zues, with Cochran claiming to be one of his children. Clearly Cochran is drinking the Kool-Aid, but at least he remembers enough from high school to remember that Zues ate his children.

Ozzy makes a potentially fatal flaw by not wanting to share the fish he’s caught with “the enemy.” He’s not on board for feeding the competition, but Dawn convinces him otherwise. He’s not making any friends with the former Upolu which could be an issue later in the game. I mean, he is currently on Redemption Island. He and Coach have a conversation where both claim to be the other’s ally while lying to each other’s face. Yeah, they both totally bought the other’s line of B.S… NOT!

Cochran’s loyalty shift changes the game and he’s described as “signing the death warrant” for his former tribe. Upolu is far from stable though, as BHCP continues to prove his instability could be a liability. Te Tuna decides, at Brandon’s suggestion, to kill one of the tribe chickens and he promptly takes one out to slaughter only to lose the runaway fowl into the jungle. Rancher Rick wonders how hard it is to kill a chicken… you just need to spin it around by its neck or bite off it’s head — if you’re trying to look cool. BCHP immediately goes for the second and final (main egg laying) bird, and the Te Tuna are watching aghast, as having zero chickens doesn’t seem like the most stellar or thought-out idea. Brandon is coming unhinged. Additionally, Albert is all about shaking up the game, but Sophie is trying to slow him down.

Next time, when the show resumes tensions are running high. Edna fears that she can’t trust Coach and Cochran solidifies and even stronger bond with Benjamin Coach.

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THIS FILLER EPISODE? DID IT SHINE ANY LIGHT ON THE SURVIVOR HAPPENINGS THUS FAR? WITH ALL THE NON-COCHRAN SAVAII ON REDEMPTION ISLAND, WHO DO YOU THINK WILL BE THE NEXT TO GO.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO YOU AND YOURS! BEST WISHES FOR A SAFE AND WONDERFUL HOLIDAY!

Marijuana Jim joins Keith and Ozzy on Redemption and Ozzy refrains from telling him “I told you so” after hearing about the Upolu’s latest bakery fix while the three remaining Savaii tried to save themselves. Back at camp, Coach reminds his congregation that they are a family who has just voted out the most dangerous outcast. Really? MJ is dangerous? Crass, sure. Immature, definitely. But dangerous? Please. In his interview Coach stresses how important it is to make everyone feel comfortable so they won’t be ready for an upset. I wonder if that’s what Jesus did…NOT.

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Cochran is grasping at straws learning tai chi from the revered Coach. He is trying to secure his spot. Coach worries that Albert is showing signs of dissent and he promises to make sure that Cochran is safe. It causes the little guy to worry about his status in “the family.”

Everyone is present at the Redemption Island duel. The challenge is to balance two rather bulky poles between the top of each man’s wrists and a two-by-four far above his head. Keith, MJ and Ozzy are competing to stay on Redemption Island, with the other two becoming the first members of the jury. Jeff polls the crowd and Brandon Hantz Crazy Pants is rooting for Jim. Not surprisingly, Whitney is pulling for her boy Keith. No one seems to care about Ozzy. Marijuana Jim is quickly out of the running (hello, jury!), but it’s a tight battle between the remaining two before Keith lets a pole fall. Clearly Ozzy doesn’t need the support of the tribe… but he seems to have secured the support of the two inaugural jury members. Whitney cries as Keith burns his bandana. That is true love.

Ozzy is treating Redemption Island like his own personal five-star seafood restaurant and jungle playground. He’s happy, fed and doesn’t have to deal with the more annoying members of Te Tuna. He’s drama free and a good fisherman… looks like Redemption Island is his resort while the group at the beach is suffering like a bunch of middle schoolers at summer camp. Dawn admits to Cochran that she wishes she had outed him to their Savaii tribe, and because she didn’t, she expects his loyalty in return. Cochran promises her he will keep his word, but Cochran’s word is about as stable as my bank account.

The immunity challenge consists of balancing a bowl of rice on the player’s head, racing over a see-saw and depositing the rice in a basket. If the contestant touches the bowl, or if it falls off, the person must return to the starting line. The first person to fill his or her basket wins. Many players must return to the starting gate, but Dawn immediately finds her groove. People are dropping rice left and right. Dawn is the one to beat, followed by Sophie and BHCP. Sophie makes the risky decision to take nearly twice as much rice as any competitors and it pays off — she wins immunity.

Jeff promises a twist at the evening’s tribal council and Dawn is hoping it will be enough to keep her and fellow outcast Whitney in the game. Back at camp, Cochran approaches Coach about getting rid of Dawn or Whitney. Coach feels that Dawn is a true threat that could win if she sticks around. I am guessing that Cochran has already forgotten about his earlier conversation with Dawn. Dawn is convinced she’s next on the chopping block, consequently Whitney and her decide to try to infiltrate and change the Upolu alliance. Cochran’s a lost cause, and Brandon’s a loose cannon, so those two are out of the ladies’ running. Coach is clearly the puppet master with Edna attached to his hip, and, as Whitney so eloquently puts it – Rancher Rick isn’t even playing the game. I hadn’t noticed till now but he really isn’t. I feel like I’ve maybe typed his name five times the entire season. Maybe that quiet man is on to something strategy-wise. He’s very under the radar.

The women decide to approach Albert, but Cochran’s right there with him. Doesn’t anyone remember that he’s a practiced double agent? Albert’s sights are set on voting off Edna. Coach and BHCP point out to Cochran that Albert has violated the “don’t get friendly with the Savaii ladies” rule. Albert manages to get into Cochran’s head that he’s the first one off once the “family” rids Te Tuna of the former non-Cochran Savaii. Cochran is livid that the Upolu tribe, who he shifted his entire allegiance for, would consider Edna more valuable than him. Perhaps it’s time he switches again.

Albert and Cochran approach Albert’s (maybe) lackey Sophie, who has no worries tonight thanks to winning immunity. While Sophie thinks Albert is showing his true colors, she thinks that maybe their true colors are very similar. However, she is wary about turning against the father, I mean Benjamin, er Coach. Benjamin Coach is not blind to all this sneakiness and is prepared to cut ties with those disloyal. The violins are playing, and Albert may find a horse head in his hammock if he’s not careful.

At tribal council, the topic is Cochran being at the bottom of the Upolu alliance. Jeff thinks that now is the time to make a big move, but will it actually happen? For the fifth or sixth time in the episode, Coach once again reiterates that he isn’t “running the tribe.” Albert states he believes Coach isn’t necessarily the leader but more of a figurehead. Non-leader Coach seems to take a bit of an issue with that statement. A pan of the jury (aka Keith and Marijuana Jim) reveals that MJ has shaved off his beard. I’m guessing if you know you aren’t going to win the cool mil, a nice bed and shower is the place to be.

It’s a tight race between Edna and Dawn, with Dawn joining Ozzy at Redemption Island. I haven’t seen the actual vote yet, but I’m guessing Cochran didn’t make the big move he was preaching about earlier. Jeff’s twist is that there will be an immediate immunity challenge among the remaining castaways, followed by another elimination. The Te Tuna must use an “answer cube” (a fancy die, really) to answer survival questions. If a player answers a question incorrectly, he or she is out of the game. Quickly, it becomes a game of wits between Sophie, Coach and Whitney. Whitney and Sophie end up head-to-head in the trivia competition, but Sophie ends up prevailing on a clam question.

Sophie wins immunity for the second time in the episode and former Upolu make good on their plan to vote out all the non-Cochran Savaii. Does he not assume he’s going to be next at this point? Whitney goes to meet her former Savaii friends, Dawn and Ozzy, at Redemption Island. I will say the reunion among the three cast-off Savaii seems way more “united and loyal” than any Upolu gathering… and these three know that only one will make it through to the next step of the game.

Next week, the Upolu tribe turns on Crazy Pants and Coach wants the tribe to start calling him Zeus. Um, EXCUSE ME?

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE? HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE FORMER UPOLU’S STRATEGY? WHO DO YOU THINK WILL BE THE NEXT PLAYER SENT TO REDEMPTION ISLAND? AND ZEUS? REALLY???

Back at camp, Ozzy approaches Cochran about his “strategy.” Ozzy wants to understand his decision, and of course, Brandon Hantz Crazy Pants, or should I say Cochran’s new body guard, comes by to make sure his new friend isn’t being intimidated by big, bad Ozzy. Cochran assures BHCP that all is fine and Marijuana Jim pops by to tell his former ally that he’s a poor excuse for a man and he doesn’t ever want to talk to Cochran again. Mature. Cochran stresses his decision to vote off Keith wasn’t personal — it’s just about self — preservation. Ozzy reminds him that he went to Redemption Island FOR Cochran. Whitney also asks Cochran to remember the three different times she and Keith saved him from being on the chopping block.

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The former Upolu members embrace the little guy and they tell him not to feel guilty for his vote. Cochran says he can understand his Savaii teammate’s anger, but I don’t think he was expecting it to be that severe. MJ looks a tad scary with the night vision filming, his temper seems to be getting the best of him.

Benjamin Coach celebrates the first Te Tuna vote with some ocean-side Tai Chi and prayer. Ozzy believes that he has no strategy left other than to win. At the challenge, each individual must toss coconuts into a ring… like ski-ball at Showbiz pizza. The first four to get a coconut into their ring advance to the next round. MJ, Whitney, Dawn and Sophie make the cut and must begin cracking coconuts. Each player must fill his or her mouth with coconut water, navigate through an obstacle course and spit the water into a tube on the other side of the course. They repeat this ridiculousness until the winner fills their tube up to the designated amount. Sophie seems to be the one to beat with MJ not too far behind. Whitney and Dawn aren’t even in the game it seems.

Sophie is so close to filling her tube, but ends up spitting up a mouthful on the obstacle course. Marijuana Jim wins immunity! He knows he is safe from going to Redemption Island. Back at camp, BHCP is trying to convince Cochran to vote for Ozzy. It’s not a hard sell. Coach and the other career player have a heart-to-heart. Coach appreciates Ozzy’s humility and desperation. It’s cute, but not cute enough to keep him from voting off Ozzy. Ozzy is prepared to go back to Redemption Island and Coach is convinced that if he does, he’ll win his way back into the game.

Marijuana Jim has a pretty stellar plan. He plans to give the immunity necklace to Ozzy at tribal council. When the former Upolu can no longer vote off they guy they planned, they won’t have a chance to discuss who to vote for instead. At tribal council, MJ admits he was childish in what he said to Cochran. Cochran gives a speech defending his decision not to have his fate chosen by a rock. However, he’s one-upped by MJ’s monologue which basically outlines all the ways in which the Savaii kept Cochran around and made sacrifices for him while buttering up the former Upolu by praising their unity and integrity. BHCP isn’t buying it. He thinks the Savaii are bullies.

MJ speaks passionately about voting Cochran out to make a statement for future Survivor players. Jim mentions he considered giving the immunity necklace to Ozzy. All of the Upolu start to sweat. Coach thinks that voting off Cochran would send the message that people can’t stick up for themselves in the game without being punished for it and that doesn’t sit well with him. Ozzy’s cockiness returns and he promises to be the strongest contender the Upolu has ever seen if he’s sent to Redemption. Wait, WHAT? MJ pulls a Cochran and decides to keep the necklace for himself. Have fun on Redemption Island, Ozzy! Double WHAT? Whitney and Dawn both voted for Ozzy!

On Redemption Island, Ozzy and Keith are chowing down on some pretty tasty looking fish, but the Te Tuna has yet another immunity challenge. They must stand on an inclined beam while balancing a ball on a rounded piece of wood. If they drop the ball (heh heh) or fall off the beam, they’re out of the running for immunity. Jeff Probst adds quite a twist. If there is anyone who feels safe enough from being voted off that they want to sit out the challenge, there are baked goods galore for them to snack on while watching their tribe mates struggle for immunity. Dawn, MJ, and Whitney are the only ones who must compete, while the former Upolu (and Cochran) stuff their faces. Jim is the first to go. Dawn does some schmoozing with the cake walkers and gains praise from Coach and Brandon. The ladies must move farther down the incline making it harder to stay balanced. Dawn is struggling, and Whitney wins immunity.

Albert doesn’t like how buddy-buddy his tribe mates were with Dawn during the challenge. He plans to do something about it as soon as he can. Back at camp Cochran is entertaining his new pals, and MJ knows he needs to make some Upolu friends because Cochran isn’t going anywhere. He approaches Albert and Sophie about voting off Edna. Albert is impressed with the creativity of Marijuana Jim’s plan, but he has something even better up his sleeve. Albert is very wary of Dawn — he thinks she is more of a threat than she appears. After approaching his tribe members with his plan, Albert has Coach carefully considering Dawn’s demise.

At tribal council, Dawn says it was hard for her to watch the Upolu eat during the challenge. BHCP goes off on her, saying that she’s contradicting herself because during the game she said she wanted to balance longer so they had more time to eat their goodies. He is one loose cannon. Dawn is blindsided… she simply meant she was hungry too so it was hard watching the others eat. Whitney breaks down, saying she and her remaining tribe members have been portrayed as villains and bullies.

Crazy Pants needs to get the last word; Whatever he was trying to say was lost on me though. He hates seeing Whitney cry, boo-ya, nonsense. Let’s just vote already! No surprise, Jim is sent packing to join his Savaii buds on Redemption Island. I feel badly for Dawn and Whitney for having to spend the evening with ol’ BHCP.

Next week, Albert wants to align with the Savaii ladies and Coach is on to his plan to go against Upolu. Meanwhile, Ozzy is training on Redemption Island in hopes of winning his way back into the game.

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE? WILL OZZY WIN HIS WAY BACK INTO THE GAME OR WILL KEITH OR MJ BE THE STRONGER REDEMPTION ISLAND PLAYER? THOUGHTS ON BRANDON’S TIRADE AT TRIBAL COUNCIL?

Last night’s Survivor was a show of solidarity…for a hot minute. The merge occurs between the two tribes just as predicted. Savaii’s plan works in that Ozzy beats off the unbeatable Christine, but that is about as far as it goes…his overacting doesn’t fool the Upolu for a split second, and Savaii’s double agent may be way too good at his job.

After the dumbest riskiest move in the history of the show, the folks at Savaii aren’t too keen on their recent decision. Cochran tries to say that he would have been willing to go to Redemption Island had Ozzy not stepped in with his grand plan. Keith pointedly says that he himself could never let someone else fight his battles. Someone asks Cochran if he’s comfortable being a double agent. He reveals in his interview that he can certainly pretend to like the Upolu as he’s been pretending to like his tribe since they arrived. Is someone a sore sport because his fellow castaways are missing Ozzy?

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On Redemption Island, Ozzy wakes up Christine to tell her the great Savaii fable. I have to hand it to him…he’s a pretty good actor. Ozzy wants to accomplish a few goals: a) feed Christine his story (check!); b) make her believe it (check!); c) beat her in the duel (um, you lost me there…). He thinks sacrificing himself to go to Redemption Island is either the stupidest or the ballsiest thing he’s ever done. Who’s voting for the former?

In a new twist, all members of both tribes arrive to witness the duel. Ozzy may be overacting just a tad in his rant against Cochran and the evil Savaii. Both Benjamin Coach and Albert aren’t buying it. At. All. In the duel, both participants are locked behind a gate. They must build a long pole to try to get some keys off a faraway stump. Once the keys are retrieved, the castaway must get three different keys to unlock their gate. The first one to free him or herself wins.

The winner isn’t just safe–whoever finishes first returns to the game. Right off the bat, the duelers’ strategies are very different. Ozzy has his three keys before Christine can even get her first. I hate to see Christine lose after such a run at the duels, but I am glad Savaii didn’t totally hang themselves. Jeff has one more announcement after saying farewell to Christine: it is time to merge.

Right off the bat, over a shared meal, Cochran aligns with Coach and whines about how he has been ostracized by his tribe mates. Coach is quick to tell him that Upolu is voting six strong, and they think Savaii is trying to play them by making up a story, taking a risk by sending Ozzy to Redemption Island, and then setting Cochran up as the snitch. Ding, ding, ding! But then Coach starts empathizing about what it’s like to be an outcast, trying to sway Cochran legitimately to Upolu. It’s like a Jedi mind trick!

I’m hoping Cochran won’t bite, but he totally jumps ship. Sophie jokes that Ozzy was a horrible actor, and Brandon Hantz Crazy Pants is able to get Cochran to tell him he’s actually acting as a double agent. Oh, Cochran. I will say he keeps his word and returns the immunity idol to Ozzy, but I am still disappointed in the little guy. However, admittedly, I am a horrible strategist.

Cochran and Dawn go to retrieve the tree-mail, and she admits that she doesn’t have much loyalty to Savaii. She thinks the Upolu are much kinder. Dawn gets emotional because she feels she should have stood up for Cochran sooner and had his back when other Savaii members were treating him poorly. Dawn would rather play with heart than step on people for the ultimate prize.

For the immunity challenge, each person must balance on a perch while holding a coconut on a double rope contraption. As time goes on, more rope will be added, making it harder to hold the coconut. If a coconut drops or a player loses their balance, they are out of the game. The last man and woman standing win immunity. Edna is quickly out, followed by Cochran. The ladies drop like flies, with Dawn gaining immunity. Coach is next, followed by Marijuana Jim and sore loser Keith. It’s a battle of wits between BHCP, Ozzy, and Albert. Brandon drops his coconut, and ultimately Ozzy beats out Albert for immunity.

The former Savaii members are trying to decide whether to vote for Rancher Rick or Sophie. Keith questions if Cochran is on board with “going to rocks.” If the votes are deadlocked, at the agreement of the castaways (i.e., if no one is willing to change their vote), the game basically becomes one of chance, with Jeff pulling rocks with the tribe members name on them out of a bag to see who is going home. Cochran gets a little snippy that Keith keeps questioning his loyalty….

…And he quickly runs to Sophie to tell her that after much discussion, his “friends” have chosen to vote for Rancher Rick instead of her. He also relays that the plan is to play the immunity idol for Whitney, as Savaii assumes she will garner Upolu’s vote. Cochran claims he has too much respect for the game to have a rock determine his fate. He’s playing both sides now. Surprisingly, he’s playing it the same way he did with his old tribe, begging the former Upolu not to vote him off at tribal council.

Cochran admits to Dawn that he will flip his second vote, and Dawn questions his quick decision to waffle on his tribe mates. She has decided to remain loyal to Savaii, but regardless, she will not rat him out to the others. She asks Cochran to think about whether Upolu would be so quick to befriend him had their members gained immunity.

At tribal council, Jeff discusses how cohesive both tribes seem. He has never seen two such unified groups come together in the merge–usually someone is ready to flip. Marijuana Jim can’t fathom one of the Savaii being a traitor, and the camera cuts to an extremely smug looking Coach, followed by a very nervous looking Cochran.

Upolu members reveal that both Savaii’s “charade” and Ozzy’s over-acting during the Redemption duel were pathetic and transparent. Ozzy counters that, yes, Savaii did try to make up a story, they do have the idol, and they plan to use it as a team. He’s tired of the back and forth, and wants to start the voting.

Before Jeff tallies the votes, Ozzy plays the idol on behalf of Whitney. And what do you know? Jeff starts reading out votes for Keith, one after another. Curses, Cochran. Six votes for Keith, six votes for Rancher Rick. Keith and Rick are out of the second vote, and if anyone was going to swing their vote, now is the time. And someone does.

Keith is voted off with six votes to Rancher Rick’s four. Marijuana Jim appears baffled, Coach beams with pride at his little puppet protégé, and Ozzy has only a look of utter disappointment for a certain Harvard law student. MJ calls Cochran a coward, and BHCP tells him not to talk to people like that–perhaps that is why this whole situation happened. I agree with the fact that Cochran hasn’t been treated all that great by his tribe, and I realize his insecurity is probably heightened by that…mine surely would be. However, I am not sure it’s about finding a group to treat him well, as much as it is about saving himself.

Next week, if Cochran thought he was ostracized by Savaii before, he hasn’t seen anything yet. But that’s okay, as he has his Upolu pals…until Albert and Sophie contemplate getting rid of him.

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE EPISODE? SHOULD COCHRAN HAVE FLIPPED ON THE SAVAII? WHO DID YOU WANT TO SEE VOTED OFF LAST NIGHT?

Last night’s Survivor was full of twists. Brandon Hantz didn’t exude the crazy, and Ozzy is part of the most dramatic rose ceremony ever…oh, sorry…wrong show. Seriously, Savaii uses a risky strategy at the leadership of Ozzy, and Upolu is finding a togetherness and trust that has been lacking among the tribe.

After tribal council, all of Upolu is discussing what a loose cannon Brandon Hantz Crazy Pants has been since their raft hit the shore episode one is becoming. Edna is thinking that she shouldn’t worry about sitting out of all the challenges if BHCP keeps acting like he’s one sandwich short of a picnic.

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Ozzy and Cochran go from Savaii to watch the Redemption Island duel, while Albert and Sophie are in the audience for Upolu. They will be watching Mikayla and Christine, two of their former tribe mates, go head to head in what is definitely not a shuffleboard match. Each lady must build a bridge out of planks from a crate, cross the bridge, deconstruct the bridge, and use some of the planks to form a puzzle. Albert is cheering on the ladies, but I am unsure as to who he wants to win until I remember that Christine flicked him off last week. Christine has a small lead over Mikayla who is getting coached by Albert. Something about the way Ozzy and Cochran are watching reminds me of either Beavis and Butthead or the two old men puppets who sit in the tear of the Muppet’s theater.

Mikayla is first to get her puzzle put together, but after a quick check by Jeff, it’s incorrect. The women are truly neck and neck, but Christine is able to sweep the duel yet again. Upolu better be rull skeered of Christine, as she’s five for five. Sophie looks more defeated than Mikayla that Christine is still in the game. Ozzy believes Christine is a force to be reckoned with, and as he’s unsure who she will choose if she comes back, he thinks Savaii needs to up it’s strategy. His plan, in the event of losing immunity, is to send in one of their strongest players to battle Christine. That sounds very risky to me.

Ozzy shares his “worst case scenario plan” with Cochran, and he pretty much volunteers himself as the Savaii martyr. He says he’ll give away his immunity idol in the hopes that his honest tribe mate will give it back upon his return from Redemption Island. Cochran is thrilled, as it means he’s safe another week. Across the island, Coach is praying and doing some sort of water martial arts. He thinks his team needs major unity. Everyone seems to be concerned about the upcoming merger, predicting it will occur after this next challenge.

Unfortunately for Coach, Rancher Rick, Edna, and especially BHCP are hellbent on finding the already found idol. Coach leads the group in prayer to direct them to the idol. Sophie thinks it’s a tad sketchy of him, seeing as she and Albert know Coach has already found it. Agreed. Sophie and Coach find some tree-mail which refers to “twins” and “warriors.” Coach’s plan is to grab the idol before heading back to camp and pretend they just found it. BHCP couldn’t be more excited. Their prayers have clearly been answered.

For the immunity challenge, everyone is decked out in war paint with an identically painted partner. Props to Upolu for going so far as to paint a blue bikini top on Brandon (and kudos to him for being a good sport) so he really matched Edna. The reward from tonight’s challenge not only is safe from tribal council and will enjoy a one player advantage, they will also get to see watch a sneak peek of Adam Sandler’s upcoming movie Jack and Jill at Survivor’s South Pacific Cinema. One, really? A movie theater? That kind of puts their “braving it out in the jungle” into perspective, and two, what is with the constant cross-marketing? If I wanted to watch commercials, I wouldn’t have DVR.

The movie is about Adam Sandler playing a pair of twins, and the sister gets on the brother’s nerves…until they realize how much they need each other. Thanks for the spoiler, Jeff! Seamlessly transitioning into how the film relates to the challenge, Probst reveals that two sets of twins will be blindfolded, while the third set must coach the teammates from the sidelines. The blindfolded sets of twins must use those commands to retrieve four bags of masks, and one of the blindfolded duos must pair the like masks together based only on their sense of touch. Shockingly Coach is coaching for his team, along with Rancher Rick, while Marijuana Jim and Cochran will be the eyes for their tribe.

The blindfolded pairs are having a difficult time navigating this crazy obstacle course, with Edna almost being knocked out cold. The second pairs maneuvering the course are neck and neck, but Upolu is just a hair ahead of Savaii. Edna causes her tribe to fall behind, as she clings to BHCP. Savaii has a rope issue that causes them to fall very far behind on their search for the first bag. Sophie and Albert are in the lead with a pretty bad wardrobe malfunction for poor Sophie. Savaii is still behind due to Cochran’s poor performance of hooking Ozzy and Whitney onto the rope. Once it comes down to matching up the masks, the pairs can have not verbal clues, so Coach commences a prayer. Upolu wins immunity, with Coach making all his tribe mates join him in prayer, while Ozzy admonishes Cochran about his mishap with the ropes. I’m wondering if he’s second guessing his earlier “worst case scenario” plan…

Ozzy takes to punching and karate kicking a wall. Coach believes that God granted his team mates the unity to win this challenge. Savaii is not feeling it at all. Ozzy has a bit of a BHCP tirade, and Cochran has a feeling that Ozzy may not feel like sacrificing himself anymore. No worries for Upolu, as they are enjoying all the movie theater trappings of junk food and sodas, while we viewers get our own sneak preview of Jack and Jill. Coach views the movie’s message as an important one to his newly rejuvenated Upolu family.

Back at camp, Ozzy’s temper is still flaring, and as much as I lurve Cochran I can’t say I blame Ozzy for his anger all that much. Cochran feels more ostracized than normal, and my heart goes out to him…he had finally made it into what he thought was the “in-crowd.” It’s kind of like watching the movie Lucas. The tribe decides to discuss who should be voted off, and Cochran sacrifices himself…at the urging of his teammates. Dawn sees it as Cochran getting the ultimate redemption, as she thinks he can prevail against Christine if only he believes in himself.

Whoa, wait. What? After a night of fitful dreaming, Ozzy appears and gives the immunity idol to Cochran. Ozzy feels that he needs to be redeemed, not the little guy. He only hopes that his tribe will go along with him. Cochran, obviously, is in hog heaven. The tribe isn’t on board, especially if they have wrongly predicted the merge. What if they have another team challenge before the merge? Savaii would be down one of their strongest contenders.

At tribal council, Ozzy reveals to Jeff that there was a lot of finger pointing at Cochran after the recent challenge. I really feel badly for this tribe because I do think they sincerely like one another. Jeff is confused by their plan…what makes them so sure that Cochran can win, and even if he does, what will make him want to join Savaii if they voted him out for messing up the immunity challenge? At this point, Ozzy reveals that he is going to Redemption Island, not Cochran. He gives a pretty impassioned speech in favor of his ousting.

They actually have a pretty great plan in the event of the merge. Ozzy is going to tell Christine that Cochran was voted off but used the immunity idol he found but kept hidden from his teammates. The rest of the tribe is still on the fence about voting off Ozzy. Only Cochran’s vote shown, and when Jeff asks if anyone has the immunity idol to use, Ozzy is all, well, I think I may actually use it and send Cochran to Redemption Island. For a split second I am flabbergasted, but Ozzy is very OMG, LOLZ little guy! Good luck against duel master Christine, Ozzy! Jeff declares Savaii’s decision as the biggest one in the history of the game.

Next week, will Ozzy be able to beat the unbeatable Christine? And if he is, will Cochran keep his word and return the immunity idol to Ozzy?

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF TONIGHT’S EPISODE? DO YOU THINK THE MERGE IS IMMINENT? WAS OZZY TOTALLY STUPID TO SACRIFICE HIMSELF? WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE LIKED TO SEE HAPPEN WITH SAVAII?